Life was something I thought was taken from me, extracted by the sickness that plunged me into a weak, hollow shell of myself. I was dying, weak from fighting off something that I knew would always be there in me, killing me slowly. It was taking its sweet time, coursing through my body and destroying me from the inside.
I felt it all
At times it was hollow and others excruciatingly painful, despite the medicine I was given to fight it off.
But there was no fighting it off
I was suffering, wanting to let go of all the pain, to sink into the darkness of death where it would all end. But I wasn't allowed. My family was keeping me alive, thinking that I was going to get better.
I hated them for it
I wanted to let go
I wanted to be free from this pain
From the suffering
From the struggling
I want to just be released, I wanted to die and go to heaven.
But no, they wouldn't let me off that easily. They continued fighting for my life, something I was willing to give up.
If I could I would have begged them, but having breathing tubes down my throat stopped me from that.
Each day I would watch though half-lidded eyes as my family would crowd around me, murmuring prayers. They almost reminded me of a cult with the way they were standing, praying to God to save my soul, to heal me back to health.
Though I believed he was listening to mine, hearing my tired, raspy, unused voice begging him to end this. I prayed to him every night, every prayer being the same. "Let me go…" I would beg, inwardly hoping he would hear me.
He must have listened, because my health was deteriorating rapidly now. And I was happy for it, relieving in knowing I would be free from the prison that was my body. Each day felt lighter, like I felt less and less as time rolled on and…at the same time I felt guilt, listening to my mothers and fathers cries, hearing my little brother beg for me to get better each time he visited.
I had regretted it a little, hearing his small six year old voice talking quietly at the end of my bed. He told me all kinds of things about his daily life, about the things that I had missed out on. In the begging, he would beg for me to get better so we could pay games together and do something brothers and their elder sisters should do, but as time rolled on I think he knew what was going on.
Being smarter than his age, he no longer begged me for anything and instead would lie contently at the end of my hospital bed, curling up against my legs. I loved him so much, cherishing our limited memories while lying in this bed.
And on the day I did finally let go, he was there, whispering to me while holding my left hand. His tiny fingers were creasing it lightly, almost scared to grip. But he did when he felt my hand tremble, losing its once light, but firm grip on his.
He was scared, terrified when he saw my pale skin ashen as I was finally being consumed. I wanted to comfort him; my dear poor brother shouldn't even be here as much as I wanted him to be. Mom and Dad should have never brought him on the day near my death date the Doctor had picked out.
I didn't want to die with him here; I didn't want to leave this life as my brother watched.
But he was here watching me faint away forever, tears forming at the edges of his eyes as my breath had begun to become shallow. My eyes wavered as the Heart Machine began slowing down, possible alerting the others of my early death.
I wanted the Doctors and Nurses to take him away.
I didn't want his last memory to be watching me wither away.
He didn't deserve that
Not him
He was crying now, standing by my side with my hand pressed against his forehead, crying as he nuzzled it. His sobbing was loud in the small room I occupied, but the noise was slowly draining away from my ears, becoming muffled greatly. I could vaguely hear him as he continued telling me about his day, not wishing a thing from me.
I smiled at him, my precious little brother. I love you…
With little strength I had left, I raised my hand to his cheek. His eyes widened in shock as my cold, trembling had pressed against his skin, rubbing my thumb against his smooth wet tear streaks. It was agonizing for me to watch my most dearest person cry over me, continuing on as if it had been another day, telling me of his how his entire day with went.
He was beginning to hiccup, his lower lip quivering as he hid his face in my hand, trying to hide his sadness from me.
I wish I could have spent more time with you…
To watch you grow into a great man that I know you'll be…
I crinkled up my eyes as tears were beginning to slide through. This feeling was terrible, even though I wasn't the one dying I was still leaving the only thing I cared about behind. My baby brother…
I was abandoning him, I came to realize.
Giving up so easily, thinking there would be no more pain, but oh God how I was wrong. The thought of losing my brother was like a knife to the chest and the thought of losing my entire family ripped me apart. To think I would never see their smiling faces again as my vision was darkening around the edges.
It was then when I heard shoes clapping loudly against the Hospital's smooth, white floor. The sound of shouting, panicked voices rushing into my room…
But they were too late
A claim had been struck upon me, the darkness unyielding from its hold upon me, despite the doctor's attempts to save me. It was futile.
Why couldn't they see? You couldn't save a dead person, one who already wished for the reaper himself to come and take her.
He gave no take backs; only promises that he ensured would be kept. And he kept his…
By now I could hear or feel nothing, but I could see the last memory I would leave with…the most painful of all.
I saw my family's tortured looks, my brother now screaming at me about something.
And then I realized, people had all lied when they said that death was peaceful. They were alive, never grasping the concept of what actually happened when you died, of what you saw when you died.
That last glimpse was always the worst, either seeing the ones you'll be leaving behind or being alone when death came. It was painful even though I couldn't feel anything, a confusing searing pain that tore me apart when I caught the last glimpse of my family, before I stopped fighting.
I gave in…
I gave up…
…
…
…
.
It was my greatest regret…
And my greatest pain…
.~_~.
I was in peace or at least that was the feeling I felt. But in death, I always though you would feel nothing, just an endless sleep that you would never wake up from.
I also noticed the breaths I took on my own, no longer needing a breathing tube. The air I took in was new to me, but as I sucked it in it felt empty like there wasn't but at the same time there was.
It was confusing for me, to feel my muscles twitch and move. Such a foreign feeling
To breathe on my own was strange enough…
It…
It felt like…
Freedom
But at the same time I felt restrained by something that dominated over my entire being.
The feeling was hard to explain, but I shouldn't complain if this was what heaven was like. I should be happy, because this is what I wanted…to be free from my prison and to be carried off somewhere, where I could be free, secure, and not have to worry about a thing.
I was content lying down, not moving against the hard surface under my back. But I also wanted to move, I wanted to see and do the things that I couldn't have done before.
My muscles twitched again, the feeling to foreign it was strange. I hadn't moved in a while or years if I wanted to be specific.
My hand moved up above me, shakily as I opened up my eyes to peer up at it in amazement. My hand was above me, something I couldn't do because of the sickness. It had made me too weak.
I wiggled my hand experimentally, watching as the flesh and tissue moved together, my muscles powering my movement with each motion.
It was like I was never sick, despite how sickly my hand did look, it had strength, a new kind that it didn't have when I was alive.
It excited me to no end
I then moved my feet around, while keeping my eyes on my hand. My foot moved almost on cue, only hesitating for a few seconds, twitching before moving completely.
Amazing…
I felt happy watching and feeling my body move, the new strength giving it power to obey my commands. I loved the feeling of being no longer weak, stuck in a body that only demanded rest.
.~_~.
It wasn't long until I was sitting up, my body finally used to my commands. It was no longer hesitating, twitching at using old muscles.
I also found myself to be naked…
And strangely, I didn't care seeing my bear skin. The only thing that made me quiver was at how skinny I was, and pale, almost like white paper.
But…
I was alone, so it shouldn't matter
So I returned my mind back to the important matters and flicked my wrist.
A smile was now widening on my face as I experimented as much as I could, fumbling around and moving each of my limbs to get them used to the new movement.
I didn't know how long it took me before I thought I was ready to stand, eager like a child who was taking their first steps.
I had come to notice, that strangely, I was in large white room that seemed to never end. It was familiar to me, a nagging feeling in my head telling me I had seen it before or at least heard about it. But everything was still fuzzy, like something was missing out of this very confusing puzzle.
I shook my head, if I actually knew what this place was then it would come to me in time. So I ignored the constant nagging and moved forwards, ready to stand for the first time in a long time.
It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be at all, ending with my losing my balance and crashing down face first. It hurt really bad, both mentally and physically.
I wanted to cry
I held them in
I was strong
I wasn't the same girl
No longer would I cry…
So I repeated my attempts to walk, failing each time. And each time I failed; I would get back up and try again. Because this is what I wanted to for years, yearning the feeling to walk and run.
I wanted to feel that again, to feel the wind against my face and my heart pounding.
It was an experience I craved for. I was determined for it.
My body leaned forwards again, on all fours I slowly began to raise my body, straining my muscles as they protested against the act. Though it seemed everything came easily to me, walking seemed to have a different effect. It could be possible that it was caused by using all my limbs instead of just a specific one.
I gritted my teeth together, and I began to raise, my body feeling like Jell-O as I did. My legs were wiggling, looking pitifully thin when I glanced down at them, hunched over still.
I was stubborn, getting from my father, and started to lift up.
My body was shaking, beads of sweat beginning to show on my skin. It was painful, stinging sensations rushing through my veins as I fought to stand.
I wasn't giving up…
My arms were already up to my knees and God it was painful, my body feeling heavier by the minute.
I heaved in a breath, and kept going for what I had been yearning for all this time.
I rose and rose, until I eventually stood, hunched over, but still standing on my own two feet alone without help.
It was painful, but…exhilarated to feel such a thing again
I was up
Walking
Actually walking!
I wanted to shriek with joy, jump up and down, or just do something!
I wanted to so bad…
But my body collapsed, unable to hold my weight up any longer. I was in a heap, but instead of being sad that I was no longer standing, I was laughing. It came out as a weak, wheezy sound.
Clap, Clap, Clap…CLAP!
I jerked up, startled at the sound that blared loudly through the white room, carrying out in echo's.
"Well done" The figure praised, its voices grabbing my attention immediately. "It took you a while, child, but well done" It said, clapping again twice, before setting its hands down onto its crisscrossed legs.
I only stared, unable to utter a word. To my left was a being, sitting far away, completely white with dark smoke surrounding him, outlining him. It was grinning at me like a Cheshire cat, with a superior air enveloping it.
The corner of his mouth twitched at my lack of response. "Not in the mood to talk, eh?" He asked. I twitch and stared at the place where its eyes were supposed to be, but dragged my eyes away as I remembered how it was rude to stare. "Are you shy, perhaps?"
I still didn't answer back, staring back down to the ground.
"Don't ignore me!" It shouted in a childish manner, waving its hands around enough to draw my eyes back to it.
"What…" It seemed so familiar to me.
"Whoa," the thing threw its arms back, up into the air and his mouth parted in surprise. "So you can talk!"
Swallowing, I nodded. "Yeah…"
Then I trailed off, blushing as I remembered something. I was naked in front of it, though I was thankfully in a kneeling position and I quickly wrapped my arms around my chest.
Ooh God this was embarrassing!
"Eh?" It let out a confused sound as I turned my back to it, muttering lightly. "Is something the matter?" It held a curious tone, though by the way it sounded, the being seemed to know what was wrong and found my antics highly amusement.
"I-i-i…" I stuttered, flustered and mortified by the position I am now in. I bobbed my head, trying to signal it to notice what kind of predicament I was in. "N-n-n-naked" My voice squealed, high in pitch.
I ducked my head down in shame, wishing to be somewhere other than here. Preferably in a room that provided privacy.
But the thing seemed to wave it off, flicking its wrist. "Don't worry little one, none of that interests me at all" It told me, its voice having a relaxed feeling to it. It acted as though this was normal. "I am more interested in the deal I mean to make with you"
I blinked a few times, thinking if I heard right. "A-a-a d-deal?"
"Correct," I nodded, showing I was listening as he started his explanation. "The deal is simple child, I wish for you to be a part of me as you are not right now"
My brows furrowed at what he said. To be a part of him? "A p-part of y-you?" I shifted as confusion settled in me, curious of what it meant. "I-I-I don't e-even know you" I told him, my stutter slowly fading, growing used to his presence.
"Truth" A whisper breathed across my ear, making me squeak and twisted around to find the being with a wide grin on its face. I screeched at his sudden closeness, jerking back ungracefully and fell back.
I clenched my eyes as I braced for impact on the white floor, but instead my head hit something soft. I winced and shifted into a better position, before opening my eyes to see its face right above mine. My scream was stopped when he shoved a hand towards my face, covering my lips and bringing up his other hand, making a shushing gesture by putting his pointer against his thin lips.
We stayed that way for a few minutes, before he removed his hand and found it useful to pull me further into his lap, then to begin stroking my head. "My name is Truth, though; I am called by many names. I am the world, I am the universe, I am god, I am truth, I am all, I am one, and I am you…well not technically you in specific standards."
"Truth?" I whispered his name, saying it slowly while looking up at Truth, who nodded at me encouragement.
"Yes, one of my many names you can address my by," Truth said, still stroking my head contently. I would be lying if I said it didn't feel good. "But you already knew that didn't you, Grace?" He questioned knowingly.
"Eh?" He knew my name? And what does he mean that I already knew?
"I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean, Truth…" I trailed off when I saw his grin fade into a frown. My arms then wrapped themselves around my chest, forgetting the fact that I was naked and crossed my legs.
As if sensing my tense mood, Truth patted my head reassuringly. "Like a said before child, I have no interest in the mortal body, nor would I ever" He snorted and returned to stroking, running his fingers through my hair. "Once you become a part of me child, you'll understand as it seems that the travel from your body into my domain has shaken your memories"
"My memories?" I asked out loud even though it was more to myself than to Truth.
He waved my tiny murmur away, tapping my head with his pointer. "Don't worry yourself on that matter child; it'll come to you after you made your decision. But first, we must talk about our deal"
…there Truth goes again with the deal, whatever that was.
I sighed. "What kind of deal?"
"One that will solve my problem and will be able to give you a second chance"
Second chance?
He went on, taking my silence as his cue. "Someone is seeking to bring the dead to life, using the Philosopher stone to make their experiments easier. The more stones they give the harder for me to turn away as each stone each had more than enough to pass equivalent exchange, but nothing in this world or yours could ever be enough to exchange for a soul, something that is priceless. Their experiments have failed and they grow angered that they won't work; killing over again to create more Philosophers stones and retry. And that, my child, is where you come in. You'll be the soul I wish to send back, filled with the knowledge that you gained from your world so that you may have your one piece of equivalent exchange"
My eyes widened at the over load of information, brows furrowing. "Can't you just chose any soul from your…huh…domain?"
Truth shook his head, frowning. "One can't be brought back from the dead as they were originally born in the domain I watch over, but if I was to take a passing soul from another then I would be able to send them back to the living as they never had a place to begin, never existing"
My lips twisted to the side. "I see, but why…"
"Why you?"
I nodded, twiddling my pointers and looked at Truth. "Yeah…"
"You are not a part of the world I govern, a soul that I didn't create and thus, is not a part of me. Since we are not one, I must ask you to become a part of me so that we may be one"
"By becoming one? What does that mean?" I questioned him, returning my gaze above onto his face.
"You have nothing to fear child, the processes is simple. All I need is your permission and the merging will be complete"
"Why couldn't you just go ahead and…merge with me?"
"You are not my soul to take advantage of, meaning I have no say over you. Without your permission, dear Grace, it seems I am powerless against you"
I swallowed at the tense atmosphere, unconsciously pushing to get closer to Truth. I had to ask, "What if I say no?" An innocent enough question.
"Saying no will grant you eternity in Heaven or Hell, where ever you have been sentenced to. But by saying yes, you'll become my daughter, one of many, and a part of me"
His voice had lost its childlike sound, turning more serious as he went on. I shivered, leaning into his touch that seemed to sooth me. "Won't He be mad?" I asked fearfully, ready to say no if Truth said anything negative against my God.
He grinned and shook his head. "Your old man has given me permission, like this is the first time" Truth spoke in a joking manner, before shaking his head. "Your God won't be angered by your decision, free will and all, but it's yours to make, child, never forget"
I was silent as I listened, breathing in relief. "Good…"
"Your answer?" Truth asked curtly, sounding almost rushed. He taped my head. "Time isn't on our side, you must choose"
I blinked in confusion at him. What does he mean that time isn't on our side?
Truth said nothing, rather pointing behind me, watching as I followed in the direction to find a large gate. I gasped at its large magnificent architecture, amazed by it. A large tree stood out the most, elegantly engraved into the large stone tablets, detailed with names detailing the end of its roots. "Wow…"
He stared down at my awe filled face. "It is yours or your future gate"
Mine!?
I looked up at him in confusion, letting out a strangled sound at the thought of that being mine. Why would it be mine?
"Your answer…" He repeated.
My eyes narrowed, a sigh escaping through my parted lips as I nodded my head, finally giving him his answer. It seemed to satisfy Truth as he, once again, had a Cheshire gin plastered on his face, looking like a madman.
"Wonderful!" He exclaimed loudly as lightning crackled around him and myself, sending shocks and pulses, some painful and others not. I winced as my body felt pressure on it, whimpering at the feel, while Truth chuckled lightly at the whole ordeal, still stroking my head.
"Truth…" I whimpered again, whining as a funny feeling settled in my head. It felt like a coil tightening, until it burst flooding my mind with information on what I forgot. Fullmetal Alchemist…
Truth!
I gaped up at him, finally realizing who I was cuddling up to. "You're T-Truth" I almost shrieked when he nodded in agreement, flashing me a grin that showed off his teeth perfectly.
"So you finally remember"
I could only nod dumbly, afraid to do something that would anger him. "Y-yeah…" I said meekly.
The lightning died down, but still surrounded us…in a more protective manner. "Hm, your nervous now" He grinned as he said this, leading me to believe that he loved to creep people out.
I scowled at him
Of course I would be
Who wouldn't?
I then remembered in the Anime, he wasn't usually this nice to anyone. With the scowl still in place, I asked, "Why are you being so nice?"
"Hmmm?"
"I m-mean in the Anime y-your usually all, you k-know" I did some wild gestures with my hands. "Kinda acting, huh, m-mean and stuff"
"Why wouldn't I, Hm?" He questioned, tilting his head as he went on. "You were brought here by me, not by breaking a law or forcing your way here. You own me no toll, so you have no punishment or my ill intent"
It was a very reasonable statement
I opened my mouth to reply, but he shifted, and something inside told me that he wanted me to be quiet. I obeyed the feeling, still scowling.
He only patted my head twice, wiping the scowl off in an instant as the gate regained my attention, sparking with small bolts of red lightning. I froze recognizing it as the use of a Philosophers stone and a grunt from Truth made me clear that this was possible an experiment.
I began scooting near him, wanting to be anywhere but near that gate and lighting, but Truth held me in place. I wiggled in the strong hold he had on me, no longer caring of my nakedness.
"You are the-my tree of knowledge…a thing powerful in its own right. Do what you will with your knowledge, tell them or don't because at the end of this story it will all come down to you and your choice, little one. But remember, just because you have knowledge doesn't mean you hold all the cards in the game. Everyone is someone's tool and as soon as they have the trump card, you'll be reigned over" He spoke seriously, his voice low and clear, but fading.
"Truth" I felt afraid as the lightning seemed to be getting more violent as it ran across my gate, licking every crease. The crease between the doors shined bloody red and I screeched, because I had a pretty good idea of what will happen next as I saw the large eye peering at me before small black arms began to inch towards me. They moved slowly, at a reasonable pace, something I think Truth had to do with.
"Goodbye, my little tree" He spoke and patted my head as the arms reached us, beginning to curl around my bare legs. As they stretched and twisted around, my legs began to disintegrate slowly and honestly it wasn't painful, which I also think had to do with Truth, who had by now disappeared from around me.
Instead of panicking, I relaxed and lay back, allowing the tiny hand to lead me into my new life.
