After a long date night, Isabel and Seth had grabbed some froyo and were sitting down on a little bench, enjoying each other's company. Two little babies chasing each other around a water fountain caught her attention. A huge smile appeared on her face as she watched them run around, giggling and screaming. She only peeled her eyes away from them to look up at Seth for a moment and imagine her future with him.
"What?" He laughed, slightly confused as he looked down at her and wondered why she was staring at him like that.
"Nothing, I just can't wait to see what our kids look like." She smiled, setting her yogurt cup down so that she could wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head against his shoulder.
"You know how I feel about that, Bels." He said quietly. She'd heard that sentence maybe about fifty times by now. It bothered her, but she always thought it was a joke or that he wasn't serious. She figured once he truly found the one he would want to get married and have children. She still shrugged it off, hoping that he'd change his mind one day.
"Seth…" She whined, unwrapping her arms from around him and sitting up again. "Can't you for once just not shut the idea down right away? It's so hurtful."
"And play with the idea of it?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "No, I can't. I don't want to. Plus, even if I did, you'd then accuse me of leading you on and giving you false hope."
"It's not giving me false hope by just letting me talk about it without being so mean and telling me to basically stop." She responded, getting up and throwing her yogurt away before grabbing her bag.
This was such a routine now, once she'd stood up and thrown away her untouched food or drink, he knew it was time to leave. He followed her towards the car, shaking his head and mumbling stuff like 'you always do this,' 'can't we just enjoy one night out,' and other dumb things she didn't bother listening to.
Once they reached the car she got inside, closing the door a little bit rougher than usual just to show him how upset she really was. He stopped moving the relationship forward after the two moved in together. That's as far as it would go. Cohabitation.
"Wanna slam it any harder?" He asked angrily, starting the car. "This shit needs to stop. It's getting old. I've told you that I don't want a family, multiple times. What don't you understand?"
Isabel didn't respond. She stared out of the window, praying that they'd get home quick so that she could wash off her makeup and go to sleep. She wanted a life that he didn't, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him. She loved him too much and sometimes she swore she'd be lost without him.
Much to her luck, they hit traffic soon after entering the freeway. She groaned and leaned back against the seat, her eyes glued to the million brake lights she was seeing. Seth was still repeating her name and trying to get her to speak, but she wasn't having it.
That was typical Seth, though, he would feel bad soon after hurting her feelings and he'd do his best to make it right. She loved that about him. She loved everything about him.
"Bel, stop being a brat, dammit." His voice grew louder, and she turned to face him with the dirtiest look on her face.
"I'm being a brat? Me? For being upset over the fact that the man I love doesn't love me enough to marry me or have cute chubby babies with me?!" Her voice was up there with his now, close to full on yelling.
"Yes, you're being a brat. Why can't we live happy lives without a stupid paper and kids?" He sighed, keeping his eyes on the road, which was slightly clearing up now.
Again, she didn't respond. What was there left to say? They had said it all up to this point, someone would have to be a genius to give them more comebacks and ideas.
Once the two finally got home, she quickly disappeared into the house and ran up to the room they shared. She stripped down to her underwear and tied her hair up into a bun, heading towards the bathroom. She peeled her false lashes off and set them to the side as she waited for the water to warm up. She rolled her eyes when she saw him leaning against the doorframe, looking down at her. This lingerie wasn't for him, at least not anymore.
"Go. I don't want you to see me like this. You don't deserve it." She pouted, trying her best to push him out of the bathroom. He was too heavy and didn't move an inch, though. She let out a frustrated sigh once she realized he wasn't going anywhere. She moved back to stand in front of the mirror, grabbing a makeup wipe and gently running it across her face.
She closed her eyes once she ran it over her eyeshadow, and that's when she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist from behind. She didn't waste a second dropping the wipe and again, doing her best to push him away.
"No. We're never having sex again unless it's to try for a baby." She was serious, and a large part of her meant it. Enough is enough. Yeah, she knew his stance from the start, but he also knew hers. Who was right? She didn't know.
"Fuck off, man." He laughed, his arms still wrapped around her waist. Except this time, her body was facing his. That's when she really felt hurt. When he laughed and completely took it as a joke. The 'fuck off' didn't help.
"No, seriously, let go of me. Go sleep." She mumbled, her voice close to cracking if she continued any longer.
He let go of her but he didn't leave, folding his arms and watching her as she washed the rest of her makeup off. "We don't need those things to be happy."
"Yes we do. We're happy now but I won't always be happy just living together. Who doesn't want that? Who doesn't want kids with the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with? Unless, of course, you really don't love that person." She spoke quietly, having no more energy left to yell. It would give her a headache and keep her up all night.
"Are you trying to say I don't love you?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "Really, Bels? Just because I don't want what you want?"
She shrugged, letting him answer his own question. She dried her face with the towel before walking past him and heading towards the pile of clothes resting on a chair in the room. Despite how much she hated him in this moment, she still picked up one of his t-shirts and slipped it on.
"You're saying us getting married and having a baby will make this all perfect?" He questioned, more so asking her to make her feel stupid instead of genuinely asking. "That's unrealistic. What fantasy world are you living in?"
"Fantasy world? Almost every man and woman wants a family. What fantasy world are you living in?" She spat back at him, amazed that he was still pissing her off.
"Drop this, Isabel. Forget about it. I'm never going to marry you and I'm never gonna give you kids." In that moment her heart felt like it dropped down to her stomach, her angry features turning soft and her aggression turning into vulnerability. She felt so embarrassed for even bringing this up.
"Okay…" She whispered, nodding and quickly wiping her eyes. She felt like she was about to die, but relief washed over her knowing that at least this conversation was over. That is, until, he continued.
"I'm so fucking over this shit. I love you. I love you with every fiber in my being and more than anyone I've ever loved before. I can't begin to explain just how much. I'd kill for you, Bels. Don't fucking tell me I don't love you because I don't want marriage and kids. How can you even say that? Do you know how fucked up that is?" He yelled, the veins in his neck very evident now. "If you want a husband and a baby so bad go find another man. There are plenty waiting in line to take you from me."
"Seth…" She spoke softly, trying to move closer to him. "I'm not saying let's have a baby tomorrow. I'm not saying propose to me tonight." She tried to reassure him, a few tears leaving her eyes.
"Within the next few years does equal tonight and tomorrow for me." He continued, his voice not getting any calmer. She gently rested her hands on his chest, trying to get him to relax.
"Stop yelling, please." She begged him, but to no avail. "I love you…" She added, looking up into his big brown eyes.
"This isn't going to work out." He said, grabbing the car keys he'd left on the nightstand just a while ago.
Isabel called after him, but he ignored her just like she ignored him earlier and left. She jumped when she heard the front door slam shut. His phone was probably blowing up with all the texts and calls she was sending him, but he didn't respond. She easily called him a good twenty times, but she got the hint after that. She crawled into bed on his side, hugging his pillow tight as she let the tears fall. She sent him a few 'I love you's,' and a few 'I'm sorry's,' but he didn't seem to care. She eventually drifted off after crying until there was no more tears left to cry, holding onto his pillow tight.
