Disclaimer - I do not own any characters that are familiar to great literature. I do own anything you do not recognize. Enjoy! ^_~

1. Introduction to the Pageant World

Erik: What am I doing here? I demand to know this instance!

Pageant lady: Well, I have brought you all here to, um.well, judge a beauty pageant.

Sherlock: A what now?

Pageant Lady: A pageant for 18-21 year old girls. Each of you will be heading an event, but you will all judge.

Raoul: This will be fun! **Smirks**

Christine: What's that supposed to mean?

Raoul: Oh nothing **Still smirking**

Watson: What are we all going to judge?

Sherlock: Isn't it painfully obvious Watson? I will be heading the speech competition, Erik will be dealing with the talent, Christine will be doing evening wear, and you and whatever that is **points to Raoul who is picking his toes** are just here to feel important.

Pageant Lady: Precisely.

Raoul: Can I judge swimwear? **Smirking yet again**

Christine: You can judge my swimwear. **Winks**

Raoul: Can I judge you without swimwear? **Drooling**

Erik: Wait a second; back up. you want that fop to ogle you? I was crazy when I said I loved you.

Sherlock: **ranting** I've told everyone women are the inferior sex, but no, no one listens to me, especially when I'm being practical! **Throws hands up**

Watson: But Holmes, you're always practical.

Sherlock: I know that! Can't I rant once in a while too?

Pageant Lady: **Clears throat** Anyway, there are 51 girls in this pageant; it's your job to pick a winner.

Erik: Anyone with one fourth of a brain could figure that out.

Raoul: **Flicking lint from his bellybutton** what was that, I missed the last part.

Everyone: **groans**

Raoul: What?

Pageant Lady: You pick the winner based on scores and whoever wins in "Miss Literary Legend 2003".

Everyone: Okay?

Pageant Lady: The scores are on a 1-10 basis, 1 is the worst, 10 is the best and that should be all. Now for your first job every girl needs to introduce herself on stage and you will judge based on poise, appearance, and annunciation.

Raoul: What's annunciation and poise?

Erik: You fop, poise is self-assuredness and annunciation is the quality of pronunciation and clarity of the voice.

Raoul: **Jealously** Smarty-pants.

Erik: **flashes an evil smile and laughs**

Christine: Anyway, when do we get to see them?

Pageant Lady: In five minutes! Hurry to your seats!

(All of them go to their seats and wait until the first girl comes out, she's from Alabama)

Mary-Sue (Alabama Girl): **in a ditzy voice** My name's Mary-Sue Lovelocks and I'm like 18 years old! My hobbies include like, bike riding, bull riding, and oh my God, horseback riding. I am going to become a world like famous rodeo star! Yee-haw!

(The judges give her bad scores, all except Raoul because she was wearing a white see-trough shirt and confused clarity of voice for clarity of shirt. Similar introductions go on until they get to the state of Colorado, the girl is Jessica Gargonzola)

Jessica: I am a twenty-year-old grad student at The University of New Haven to become a forensic scientist, the modern detective. In my free time I enjoy reading, going to the opera, and playing the violin. Thank you.

(This time they all mark down good scores, except Raoul, because her shirt was black [not very see through.] then there were more ditzy girls until Florida, when Erica Lenedra came out.)

Erica: I am a twenty-one-year old grad from a prestigious acting school and I like to sing opera and operetta. In my free time I like to write and be creative. Thank you.

(As the girls keep coming Erik and Sherlock start to get bored, Christine hums to herself, and Watson and Raoul write notes to each other about the telletubbies. That event ends and the judges have to determine the winner for that round of events.)

Raoul: I think Mary-Sue should win! **Daydreaming about Mary-Sue naked**

Erik: Shut up Fop, you only want her to win because she showed the most cleavage; I think that Erica Lenedra and Jessica Gargonzola should win.

Sherlock: I second that notion.

Watson: I am afraid I would have to go with Raoul on this one Holmes.

Sherlock: **Turning red with rage** How many times do I have to tell you that if you don't agree with me then you have to go to your room? Now go!

Watson: **Dejectedly** I can tell when I'm not wanted. **Walks to his room and cries**

Christine: Now that we've got that out of the way I think a girl named Christine should win.

Erik: There were no girls whose name was Christine.

Christine: **Very huffy** Fine then, you and Sherlock can have it your way and Raoul too!

Erik: **Grimacing** Why Raoul?

Christine: **Obviously lying to make Erik mad** because I love him.

Erik: **Rolls eyes** of course you do, so first Erica Lenedra, the Jessica Gargonzola, and then Mary-Sue Lovelocks? **Lip curls at thought of her even placing**

Sherlock: Sadly, yes that is how it goes.