Dear readers,
this will definitely be a multi-chapter. It isn't finished yet, so any constructive criticism is definitely welcome.
Other than that... enjoy!
The light summer breeze gently played with her hair as she walked through the densely wooded area. The cabin where she was staying was small and every now and then she would get a bit claustrophobic and needed to get out. Her dad would be coming to visit later that evening and she still had to clean up the place, make sure the laundry was ironed, folded and put away. She was making Mac and Cheese, one of the few things she could actually still remember how to do without having to strain herself. It gave her comfort to do things that she knew were truly hers. Since her accident, she'd lost her memory and it made her feel socially awkward and wrongfooted. She was happy to only interact with her father, but it did get lonely sometimes. She'd discussed the possibility of having a pet with her father, but he'd denied. He had gently reminded her that her episodes - in which she relapsed - were still happening too closely together. And that she should just focus on taking care of herself. What if she forgot she had a dog? Hugging herself tighter, she tried to let her mind roam free a little bit. Her lips curled into a soft smile as she recalled the dream.
She sighed as the dream played out in her mind's eye once more. It was never the same dream, but still... It was variations on a theme almost. Her and her mystery man picking out Halloween costumes, eating Thai take out in the middle of the living room as they were sitting on the floor. Or even driving around an SUV. She was never behind the wheel though. And curiously, she didn't mind. The man she kept dreaming of was gentle and kind, tender and loving. Their relationship was platonic at first glance, but the feelings that fueled the dreams were anything but. Taking a deep breath, she leaned against a tree. God, the feelings. She'd never felt something so intense in her entire life. Or at least, couldn't remember it. She loved the mystery man in her dreams. She knew that for a fact. It was exactly the reason why she'd kept her dreams such a guarded secret. She knew she was supposed to write down anything she could remember in her diary, so she could discuss it with her therapist, Dr. Sweets, but... this was too precious. She needed to figure out what it meant first.
Blinking a few times, she returned to the world around her. She felt the warmth of the sunrays on her shoulders and the rough bark of the tree against her arm and leg. With a bittersweet sigh, she gave up on her daydreaming and turned around, walking back in the direction of the cabin. Once she entered and focused on cleaning up, time suddenly seemed to speed up. Before she was aware of it, the laundry was folded and in the closet, the smell of Mac'n Cheese filled the small cabin and she heard the car approach. Stepping out of the cabin, she went to stand on the porch with two beers in her hands. Her dad was spending the night, he didn't have to worry about drinking and driving today.
As her father approached her, a sensation of stifling loneliness crept over her and nearly moved her to tears. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she ignored the slightly nauseous feeling and waited until her dad was close enough to be pulled into a hug. Unlike usual, she didn't protest but went willingly.
Max chuckled. "Well, what's this?" When she didn't reply immediately, she heard the concern creep into his voice. "Joy? What's the matter? Did you remember something? Did something happen?" Forcing herself to take a step back, she shrugged her shoulders and held out a beer. "I missed you, dad. That's all." Embarrassed, she looked away, only to be surprised by a warm hug and a tender kiss to her cheek. "I missed you too, darling. Is that Mac and Cheese in the oven?" And just like that, her father dismantled the highly uncomfortable situation and guided her back to safe ground. Gratefully, she jumped on the wagon and changed the topic of conversation. "Of course it is. It's your favorite," she hesitated, "isn't it?"
"It smells delicious," he reassured her and entered through the open door. Feeling a bit lost, she looked at him as he got comfortable in the armchair and reached for a game of chess. "Come on, you owe me a rematch." Her competitive spirit reared its head and she forgot that both her father and her therapist skirted around the issue. She was remembering someone's favorite dish, someone's favorite color, someone's birthday and favorite cake, just not her father's or her therapists. Sufficiently distracted for the moment, she let go of her suspicions and sat down to participate in a game of chess.
"Check and mate!" she grinned triumphantly as she took her father's king. Max chuckled miserably. "Bested by my brilliant daughter once again," he bemoaned his downfall lovingly. Genuinely happy, she sat back and reached for her beer. It was dark outside, the dishes were done and she knew they'd be headed to bed soon. "Dad?"
Her father sensed the shift in her mood and replied equally serious, "Yes, Joy?" Encouraged by his response, she leaned forward. "When can I go back to the city?" Her father's face closed off and she knew she'd not be getting her to wish that day either. However, she wasn't willing to let go so easily this time. "Oh, come on, Dad! I can cook, I can clean, I can take care of myself! There is no reason for me to stay here from where I'm standing!"
She watched him run a hand through his hair. "Dr. Sweets says..." She interrupted. "I don't care what he says. I know what I feel. I like this place, but I want to go home! I want to be around people! I'm alone here, all the time! And, and..." frustrated, she wiped her tears away. "And my memories aren't coming back, dad. If I can't go back to my life, I deserve a chance to make a new one." Her father remained silent for so long that she'd already given up on getting a response. He surprised her though. "I've been thinking the same thing. That's what I was going to say. Dr. Sweets said it was a good idea to let you try and plan for the next step. Where you'd want to live, what you'd do for a living, making new friends. I brought a laptop with me that you bought for me a few years back. I've hardly used the thing though. I bought one of those chip thingies that make sure you can access the internet. You can try and build your life online first. And when you're ready, we can implement it. What do you think?"
His words were music to her ears. "Where is your laptop. You brought it, right?" She demanded to know, eagerly to get started with her life again. Her father chuckled and got up out of the chair. "I'll go get it, Joy." Knowing that it would be a long night, she quickly disappeared into her bedroom. She changed into a comfortable oversized t-shirt and went to grab another beer. Her dad entered, handed the laptop to her and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Don't strain yourself too much though, Joy. You're still healing."
Nodding dismissively, she put the laptop down on her lap and opened it. After her father had explained to her how she could log in and how to get online, he left her to her own devices and retired to the small guest bedroom. Time flew by as she explored all her opportunities. She didn't know if she had a degree in something, but since she clearly couldn't remember it, even if she did, she decided she wanted to open her own bookstore. She loved reading and she wanted to provide a safe haven to other avid readers like herself. A place to find likeminded people without having to defend your love for books and science at every turn. She was busy shutting down the various apps when she realized with a flutter of her heart that one of the apps that had opened automatically, was a chatting app. She opened it up to the full screen and her heart missed a beat when she saw that one of the contacts was online. 'Dr. Brennan'. Probably one of her father's friends.
With her fingers hovering hesitantly over the keyboard, she debated the wisdom of her decision. When the wave of loneliness once again threatened to pull her under, she tossed caution to the wind and typed something.
'Hello?'
Biting her lip and clutching the pillow next to her, she waited nervously, hoping that this person would reply.
Booth was crying silently, seated in his partner's office at the Jeffersonian. Hours ago, he'd been researching, going through her emails, digging himself deeper in the cesspit of Brennan's deceit. Although, he couldn't really call it deceit. It wasn't like she'd gone behind his back. He'd made a fucking point of it, telling her to basically 'Sois belle et taite-toi'. He'd been so angry that night when Hannah had turned him down and she'd found him. However, he still couldn't believe, she'd hidden this from him.
He'd not found just one death threat as Angela had reluctantly admitted, but dozens, one more graphic than the next. It was clear to him that God had granted her a quick and merciful death. If he'd actually gotten his hands on her... A shiver ran down his spine and he'd forced himself to think of something else. And so he had. He'd closed her mails and had opened the folder that contained her photo's. Most of them had been taken by Angela and it was clear that they'd been a prized gift to Bones. They were all individually named and organized in digital photo albums. Looking at them, he'd lost track of time.
It had only been two weeks since she'd been taken from him so cruelly. Her car had been rammed into. The coroner's report had been clear. Died on impact. He hadn't been in DC. He'd been at Quantico, teaching. He'd fucking felt it though. His heart had skipped a beat during class and his vision had blurred. He'd felt nauseous for the rest of the afternoon and it was only when he turned his phone on and saw all the missed phone calls that he knew he should have followed his gut feeling.
Leaning back, he'd allowed his thoughts to take him back to that fateful day. He'd rushed back to the hospital, but he was too late. Hours too late as a matter of fact. Due to his partner's high public interest, she'd already been in the morgue, by the time he got back to DC. By the time he was done throwing his weight around, the autopsy had already started. Since she'd suffered horrible head trauma, Cam had convinced him to not go back and look at her. "Remember her the right way, Seeley," she'd urged him. He hadn't even had enough life in him left to retort in their normal banter, telling her not to call him by his first name.
Booth blinked when a small screen popped up in the lower left-hand corner. 'Hello?' Frowning, Booth wondered who would be trying to contact him at this time of night. Until he quickly realized that they weren't trying to contact him. They were trying to contact her. Bones. Dr. Brennan.
When Joy didn't receive an answer, she felt her need to connect, to talk, with somebody - anybody - grow.
"Dr. Brennan? Please, if you're there, answer me."
Booth swallowed. God, whoever this was... the poor soul clearly didn't know that his Bones was no longer with them, but that she was at peace in the arms of the Lord.
"I'm sorry to inform you that Dr. Brennan passed away recently. My condolences for your loss."
Joy sank back as tears formed in her eyes. Poor dad, she thought.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't know Dr. Brennan personally. I was just hoping to talk to someone."
Intrigued by the honest, albeit slightly odd answer, he replied.
"You would have loved talking to her. She was the smartest, most compassionate human being I've ever met."
There was such pain and love that radiated from the unexpected reply, that a shiver went down her spine. It instantly reminded her of her dream man.
"Are you her husband?"
Brennan asked curiously. Surely only a loving and grieving spouse could respond with such intensity.
New tears formed in Booth's eyes as he read her response. If only God had been willing. He didn't go into the complexity of the situation though. Things that had seemed so hard to entangle barely a month ago were crystal clear now.
"I loved her more than life itself. We weren't married, but she was my heart and soul."
Joy teared up and driven by a strange desire and need to help this grieving soul, she wrote back.
"My name is Joy. Tell me about her. I've got nothing but time."
Booths gut clenched painfully. Joy. Temperance. Brennan. Bones. All words that meant the same thing. Love. Family.
"Nice to meet you, Joy. My name is Booth, Seeley Joseph Booth."
I hope you enjoyed this. I hope to have a next chapter up soon.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
