Thoughts VII: A Runner in the Wind
By Sailor Onyx Pluto
Heavy breathing down my back, my heart pounding in my ears, the wind rushing over my skin. These sensations tell me to pump my legs harder, although there is really no need. I knew before the starting gun that I would win this race as I have done so countless times in the past. However, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy and that one thought alone makes every victory feel like a defeat. In a way, it makes me feel as though I shouldn't even compete because I almost barely have to train anymore for these races while the other runners put their hearts and souls into their sport. For me, it was and still somewhat is a means of outrunning my destiny, if only for a few moments at a time.
As I cross the finish line with a stride, I can vaguely hear the crowd cheering as my school wins another track meet because of me, and I don't even wait around for the announcement of my win as I step off the field to go to the locker room. The other runners finish the race as I open the door to the women's locker and sit down on one of the benches to gather my thoughts. They rush through my mind like the wind rushing over my skin as I run, and they force me to think about why I always race.
While I may have accepted my destiny, even embraced it at times, it doesn't mean that I have to like it. That may sound hypocritical at this point, but it really doesn't make a difference to me. I don't have the freedom that I used to before I accepted that henshin wand, and in a way, it almost makes me angry.
I get a break from my thoughts as some of the other female runners enter the locker room, all of them congratulating me on my win, even the ones from the rival school. That's the way it always goes at these meets: Everyone admires my physical and athletic prowess that they can't bring themselves to hate me like I hate myself sometimes. If anything, I inspire them to train harder in the hopes that next time they might beat me, but I know it's a futile effort. That may sound heartless, but give that I'm a Senshi I've learned to accept the grim realities for what they are.
I plaster on my usual fake smile as I move to strip out of my running uniform and head to one of the few solitary showers to think alone once again. As the water hits my sweaty body in cool jets, I'm briefly reminded of Michiru, and in a strange sense, I almost blame her for my current situation, but I can't really put that on her since this is what I was born to do. That brings me back around as to why I run like the wind. I was always trying to escape, trying to outrun the fact that I would never be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a professional racer, but that little monster known as Fate would always be there, clinging to my back as I ran and whispering my true path in my ear.
I shut out my thoughts as I shut off the shower water and walk to my locker to change back into my street clothes. I remember that I'm supposed to meet Michiru for lunch, so I quickly say goodbye to the other racers and make a mad dash for my motorcycle outside. As I kick the machine into gear, a smile makes its way to my lips: I am who I am and no matter what I do, no matter how fast I run or ride, I will always be Sailor Uranus, Senshi of the Wind. I am a runner in the wind. However, that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy life while I still have that opportunity.
