. . . It used to be just us, Germany and me but that time is long gone. Now it's Germany and Italy this and Germany and Italy that, GermanyxItaly, Nyo!Germany and Nyo!Italy, mein gott it all makes me sick! Ever since that weakling met Germany, he forgot all about me . . . his Schticky friend.

The time was WWI when Germany found that dummkopf in a tomato box. That horrid day . . . Germany forgot to feed me and fretted about it. It was kind, something a friend would do. BUT THEN! Then that idiotic, weak, ditzy, annoying, pasta eating jerk Italy came! Just saying his name is like acid on my tongue! . . . Well if I had a tongue.

Ever since that day, that horrid, horrid day, I've been invisible, long forgotten in that forest where Germany left me. I imagine this is what that country (Canada wasn't it?) feels like, but when people bump into me, they break me, snap me into little pieces, and chuck me as hard as they can in some random direction. . . . I'm a broken schtick . . . I've been stepped on, used for innuendos, violated (trust me, a schtick can be violated by idiotic, drunk teenagers who pass by), and buried. . . . Instead of my healthy brown, strong bark, it has turned rough, started to grey and dry, and began to peel from large chunks to stringy bits of bark that refuse to leave me. And it's all because of Italy! . . . I can imagine it now, somewhere he is laughing at my pain, my impurity.

Will I ever leave this miserable existence? Will I ever go to schtick heaven, where I can have all the bratwurst and potatoes I want? Or will I go to schtick the, the complete opposite of schtick heaven? Curse Italy, I hope he goes to his own, specially made hell, where pasta is hated and is only used to clean up after the hell hounds!

. . . Crazy you say? I'm not crazy, I'm just a lonely schtick forgotten by the only one who cared. . . . I used to be his schticky friend, but now, I am nothing . . .


XD Oh god, my friend and I came up with this one day when I noticed that in the first or second episode, when Germany found Italy in the tomato box and he had a stick with him that was his friend then you never see it again. This is what we believe happened to the stick. Yeah, it's pure crack. I promise to update Paper Planes soon, scouts honor!