All Stories Have A Beginning
( "When you have no light to guide you, and no one to walk beside you, I will come to you."A highly romanticised version of how Severus Snape fell in league with the Dark Lord. Poor choices were made, sins committed, but he was always a good man on the inside.)
A/N:I've never written a Harry Potter fanfiction before so please bare with me. I feel like I'm trying on new jeans! I find the older generation characters truly inspiring and find myself wanting to know how James Potter went from Bully to Hero, and how Severus went from the shy boy next door to Death Eater. Who knows what drives these characters, but here is my interpretation. I'll do my best to update regularly and stay within the canon that we know. Feedback is always loved and helps me improve as a writer. I have no beta at the moment so apologise for typos. I proof read as best as I can but some things always fall through the cracks. Feel free to point these out. - Asi
Regarding:A Dreadful Realisation
A dark haired shadow of a boy, and a girl of angelic beauty, sit together on the stone step, blocking the archway that leads onto the bright summers day. Most of the students are outside all ready, playing on the quad, cloaks strewn upon the grass forming an uneven black carpet. They look like a strange pair, but they are in no ones way and so no one pays them any attention. His dark eyes survey her red silky locks and pale nimble fingers as she pulls the petals off a daisy.
"Oh Severus..." Lily breaks the companionable silence that has been hanging over them for quite some while. He smiles at her, a dark strand of hair falling across his face as he looks away, she had caught him watching. There had been many days like this in their time before Hogwarts, but since their arrival these stolen moments had become a rarity. He lapped these up, rarely speaking aloud his dark thoughts, determined not to cloud her face with a frown and ruin such a beautiful day. Already Severus longed for the holidays where it would be just them minus the distractions that the Wizards school had presented. New friends, a different house, separate classes. They were just weeks in and he often felt he had lost his best friend already.
"Oh Severus, I think I'm in love."
His look of horror is obviously misread as a look of interest as she grins at him and and continues, " With James."
"Potter!" it's not a question, he understands her fully, even knew this was coming, it didn't stop his insides from shredding, bile rising up from his wasted stomach into his throat. "But he's an idiot!"
"He's not!"
" ...arrogant, big headed, a bully, he's a complete dick, him and those friends of his!"
Lilly glares at him, her expression a mixture of fury and disappointment. They were her friends too now.
" Don't be mean Severus, he's nice once you get to know him, oh and such a good flier."
His insides had stopped tearing in two and had now disappeared completely, as if hit with a particularly accurate vanishing spell that had obliterated his stomach and lungs. Not his heart though, that was abnormally engorged and lodged in his throat impeding any attempt at words. Severus had become devoid of substance, certain if she prodded him, he would simply cave in on himself, a jelly Snape, one that would wibble and wobble before it fell down. Perhaps he was already falling. He felt sick. His eyes and throat burned, but he refused to let tears fall. Not over this, not because of Potter.
He looked away again.
"But I..." his words failed to cross his lips. This was no surprise as the words he wanted were often lost to him. It was difficult to tell ones best friend, ones only friend, that you loved her, so much to loose, so difficult to take that risk. Coward? Never, but cautious most certainly.
Her expression softened and her lips almost turned skywards into a smile. She knew, she must do. His heart skipped a beat whilst it pounded in its abnormal position.
" You're my best friend..."
" Don't."
Said heart stopped. He had barely produced that single syllable, and so stood abruptly to punctuate his point. Oh, he had found his insides again, but they had dropped to the floor with a cold wet slap. "Just..."
She may well have been stamping on them.
He fled across the courtyard, not stopping for anything, not the group of Gryffindor who called out " Why so snivelly Snivelous?"or for his fellow Slytherins who hooted that he was a "Mudblood lover." He broke his pace only when he descended the stairs to the secret doorway of his dungeon common room. He some how put one foot in front of the other, so much efforts went into keeping his emotional upheaval from spilling out until he reached the privacy of him empty dorm room. He pulled the great green velvet drapes protectively around him, and buried his face into his pillow to scream. He doesn't think he ever stopped.
