Blues Breaker
Author Note: Am I Joanne Kathleen Rowling? Nope. It's not mine, then. This is the trilogy which I started my fanfiction writing career with - so be positive because I think it's my magnum opus. Here is the first chapter, Blues Breaker. Like I've said in another story, I frequently slip in references to things in the books/movies and make jokes based on canon things, even if my plots turn out to be AU (which they do, a lot). This story is DEFINITELY AU, and the tongue-in-cheek reference-and-joke habit is definitely pressed to the hilt throughout this trilogy. This starts off after the events of the UK version of HBP, page 268 (in other words, when Harry and Ron see Ginny and Dean in the corridor). A few lines in the first paragraph are inspired by that page. Enjoy!
Whoknew an aftermath of a Quidditch practice would start off such a rollercoaster ride? Harry walked back to the Gryffindor common room, trying to boost Ron's depression (again, his keeping skills were threatening to break into the danger zone), and stumbled across the thing that would start it all off. The trigger of the most insanely twisted metaphorical gun in the world. Ginny and Dean glued together in the corridor. Tuning out Ron's rant, Harry felt like sinking into the ground. He wanted to jinx Dean to jelly - the urge was sparked by sudden passion for Ginny. Over October he tried to get rid of the feelings, but it did no good at all. The Hogsmeade trip in November seemed the perfect opportunity to ask Ginny out - not wanting to be too forward, he'd said he wanted a friendly day out with her - but when she said her day at Hogsmeade would be spent with Dean, he decided to go alone. Harry needed to drown his sorrows, so the Hog's Head was the perfect haven. Sliding up to the wiry, vaguely familiar barman (although for the life of him he couldn't think why) Harry said "Firewhisky, make a double. Triple, if I can handle it." Once the barman had got it, he went to a table and started on the fierce drink. Half-way through the second shot, a vague and dreamy voice uttered "A glass of mead, please". Harry tuned, and saw Luna Lovegood, looking like a thousand Galleons in a simple white top, silvery-blue coat to match her eyes, and red flares. Simply quirky, but stunning. Just like Luna's personality at times, Harry thought.
"Hello, Harry" she said in that lighter-than-air tone of hers that made you want to fly on silver wings. "Hard time?"
"You could say that" Harry replied.
"What's wrong?"
"Romance-type stuff."
"Oh." Luna remarked, slightly off-put by the topic that seemed to be swimming through Harry's head. Of course, she also suspected other things might be swimming in his head as well. "Ginny said you were a bit off-track". This remark made it click in Harry's head.
"Ginny. There's the catalyst for this dolefulness." Luna quickly put two and two together, and sat down at Harry's table.
"What do you mean Harry? Surely Ginny's not the one you - oh goodness!"
"See, Luna? This is why you're my spiritual confidante. You get me without having to try". He kissed her hand, making a pinkish tinge appear on her pale cheeks. Pink, but due to the paleness of her skin, it looked almost crimson.
"Go on, tell me. What's all the mental blibbering about?" Luna said. Harry looked her straight in the eye.
"You sure you want to hear?"
"Of course. You pay attention to my stories, why shouldn't I listen to you?".
"OK" Harry responded, feeling completely at ease because Luna would completely take it all in, just like he took in all of her anecdotes. She was right, why shouldn't she listen?
"Lately, I've been having musings about Ginny. Today I even asked to have a friendly day with her in the village. But the Gryffindor version of the devil reincarnate got in the way", finishing that last sentence with mild bitterness in his voice. "Dean Thomas".
"Oh yes" Luna quoted. "He can be a bit hostile, can't he? His aura is always jet black whenever I see him". This last comment, for no reason, made Harry crack. Next he was chortling like no-one. So much so that half the Firewhisky came out. Seeing what a coughing fit he was about to have, Luna smoothly thumped on the back.
"Thanks".
"No problem." After shaking his head a few times, he went on. "I suppose it's all my fault. I mean, I know Ginny's had guys before Dean, but this is the first time I've seen her kiss one of them. My brain put me in Dean's place and just kept wondering - what if?"
"Look Harry." Luna said, turning serious, or as serious as you'd expect, for her voice kept the silver-wings tone, but grew marginally louder. "Ginny's clearly not the right person for you. It's been a wild goose chase for past six years, anyone can see that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, look - Ginny's had this crush on you for, well, forever, and you don't return it. And then she goes and gets herself in a firm bond with someone else, and only then do you feel the same way? Kind of pointless, really."
"So.. do you think that the perfect person's out there for me?"
"Oh definitely, right around the corner." Luna then made the pink/crimson tinge look normal as she went to crimson/maroon. "I've got something that might clear your thinking a little bit", reaching into her bag, and she was glad to be bending down so Harry wouldn't see her face. After a few seconds she retrieved a pair of what Harry thought looked like, from he could gather, ear-trumpets, if such things existed.
"Wrackspurt siphons." Luna quipped breezily, reading the befuddled look on Harry's face as only she could. "Just put them in your ears. I'll do the rest". Harry was momentarily iffy about doing so, but then it crossed his mind ''Nothing to worry about, this is just classic Luna, it's fine. After all, she's my spiritual confidante." Luna then nodded, since her telepathic powers had been at work at that moment. Harry inserted the siphons, Luna inhaled and exhaled four times, made a circling motion with her wand around Harry's face, and said "Aufero brain vexo!" Feeling a rush in his ears which quickly emptied into the air, Harry felt he was able to focus on the thoughts at hand, and not have them blurred in his head (as the only way he could describe it).
"Better?"
"Very much, thanks. So you were saying how you think my soul mate's out there waiting?"
"Oh yes" Luna conveyed, consciously placing her hand on Harry's, although he didn't notice. "Someone who understands you completely with no bumps in the road".
"I suppose when you look at it like that, yeah. I mean, Ginny and I - we-we, have an interest in Quidditch but that's it". Harry then remembered the Thestral-driven carriages, the talk in the forest, smiling at the wispy form of a hare, and finding Luna's shoes. It sunk in. "Luna, it's getting late, d'you think we could go back?"
"Sure." That night, both the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had similar dreams, both a bit restless. Harry kept thinking - Ginny or Luna? Sure Ginny was nice enough, but only for the past year had she been able to talk to him without her face matching her hair in utter embarrassment. But with Luna... it was a complete 180. From the moment she had said 'You're just as sane as I am' he had felt it in the back of his brain. As they got to know each other better, the fuzzy and numb sensation in his head had gradually taken hold of his heart as well. He'd always had those peculiar feelings for Luna, but he figured the two of them would remain friends. Hang on though, said a confident voice in his head, utterly different from the nagging one that plagued him sometimes, she blushed slightly when you kissed her hand. And she went crimson when you asked about whether the perfect person's out there.
It was suddenly blazingly clear. Luna has those peculiar feelings for me like I do for her! And despite this funk with Ginny I'm having right now, I've always had those feelings, it just didn't register since I haven't seen her recently. Prodded awake by his thoughts, Harry swiftly donned his Invisibility Cloak and headed across the seventh floor, when he inhaled very quickly. Couldn't have expected anything less. There was Luna, skipping with her eyes closed. She is sure devoted to that sense of house spirit, Harry thought, as he saw her sky-blue and bronze pajamas. It was just one of her off-beat habits. That mix of sleepwalking and skipping. He slid up behind her and breathed her name in her ear. Instinctively, Luna flapped her hands around her ears.
"No, it's not the Wrackspurts, it's just me". For the first time ever in their friendship, Luna looked genuinely surprised when Harry slipped off the Cloak.
"Harry!" she exclaimed.
"Hey. Could you just walk past the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry three times please?" Harry asked.
"Will it become clear in a minute why?" Luna queried. Harry lightly chuckled.
"Yes. I just never expected you to ask that question. Just walk past thrice, thinking I need a comfortable place to talk with a close friend." Luna did so, and a pine door with a bronze doorknob appeared. "Go on, then" Harry stated, holding the door open for her in an overly-gentlemanly manner.
"Recognize this place yet?" Harry asked.
"Vaguely." Luna replied, her tone fitting the word she'd just said in every way.
"It's the Room of Requirement - the old DA room!" Harry pointed out.
"Oh!" - it hit Luna like a stunner. Harry smiled.
"The room can be set to be anything you want though. Sit down. Anything on your mind?" Taking her place on the silky cushions, Luna prepared herself for the ultimate confession.
"I just... I feel... and you were my first real friend and everything..." Harry stopped her by putting a finger ever so lightly on her lips. It felt like a mildly warm bolt of lightning was going through his finger.
"I think I know where you're going with this, and to tell you the truth, I feel that way as well".
"You do?"
"Of course. Like you said, we understand each other completely, right down to here." Harry touched Luna's heart, which was beating like an incredibly fierce jackhammer. Luna looked likely to explode, with her face turning deep maroon and her brain spinning inside.
"I've had those feelings ever since you smiled at my hare Patronus." she said, struggling to get the words out. Harry remembered that moment with fondness, with a slightly metallic grip around his heart.
"As for me, it's been ever since we shared a carriage that September." He then said something he knew was coming straight from the heart.
"When I'm feeling down and blue, you make me light and happy again Luna. You're my blues breaker and you'll always will be."
Luna turned the deepest maroon known to wizardkind. She just didn't expect what happened next. Harry moved in close and embraced her lips. For both of them, it was like flying on Firewhisky-fuelled Thestrals. Ten seconds, that's all it lasted. But it could have seemed like ten minutes. Harry pulled back afterwards, noticing the window just above Luna. The moon was just there, titled at forty-five degrees. It cast a beam on her already creamy-blonde hair, turning it so dazzling white Harry could barely stay conscious. That's why she's called Luna, he thought. She has the cheery spirit of the moon inside her, only she never has the dark side. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw what vaguely resembled a plank of wood and a clutter of orange, but he didn't care about that. All that mattered was that he was moving on from what now looked like feebly pathetic musings. His true love lay with his soul mate, the lovely Luna Lovegood. His only light. His blues breaker for all time.
AN: Awwwwww! Aren't they just adorable? Harry and Luna together until the end of time! If you can get any of the tongue-in-cheek jokes, say so in a review. It's pretty easy to guess what the plank of wood and clutter of orange are metaphors for. (Oh dear...) Obviously the term 'blues breaker' has a literal meaning here, because Luna can 'break' Harry's 'bluesy' bouts of depression. But the title goes deeper too - again, it's one of my tongue-in-cheek jokes. Blues Breaker also is the name of a song. Anyone who guesses who did it is a musical genius. Hint: The song is from a mid-80s rock EP.
