CHAPTER 1
Based on characters and events from gossip girl. Just different names, e.g. Blair is Belle, Chuck is Judd.
Belle Williams sat on a cold, wooden bench in the middle of central park. She was confused, why did she feel this way? Why couldn't she Just stop loving him, it would make everything easier. Or why couldn't he love her? That's what hurt the most that he couldn't tell her. It made her doubt that he actually meant it, felt it. Belle had been foolish to believe that a man like Judd King could ever have feelings for another person, let alone romantic feelings. She wiped her eyes, even though the tears that had formed had not yet fallen. "Harriet" she yelled. A short, stocky woman in a long beige trench coach tottered over to the bench. "Yes Miss Belle?" "Call the people at Chanel and make sure my dress has arrived, I'll be needing it for tonight."
Pick u up 7? – D
Belle quickly typed a response and threw her phone aside. She would not need picking up tonight, not for this event. Her best friend Danika wouldn't understand what she had to do. You don't need to play games; you don't need to beat him she would say. But belle had to play games, it's all her and Judd ever did. Belle planned tonight to be their last game, as she would beat him, once and for all. She would humiliate him as he had her, or at least a little bit.
At 6:30pm sharp Harriet announced Nathan Archer had arrived. He was tall, muscly and handsome. He was also her key to Judd's humiliation. Nathan and Belle were together on and off for 4 years, before her and Judd became whatever they were. He and Judd were best friends, until 10 months ago, when Nathan found out Judd had begun sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, who he still loved. Of course Belle was this ex-girlfriend and she hoped the sight of Nathan on her arm at the ball tonight would drive Judd crazy with Jealousy.
Belle stared at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a red Chanel, custom made of course. Somehow, even after the dress, the Dweller, the shoes, the hair; Belle never felt enough. Never skinny enough, never pretty enough. Of course nothing could measure up to her mother's expectations. Winter Williams's daughter always had to look pretty, always had to act right and say the right thing. But of course Belle never felt like she did. She had not seen her mother in 6 months. Winter was in Paris, designing her new line for her fall collection. Belle wondered to herself if her mum would approve of her outfit. Deciding she didn't care, she grabbed her clutch and left her room to meet her escort.
Nathan was waiting at the bottom of the stairs in the Williams' penthouse in the Upper East Side. He was wearing a tuxedo and looked extra handsome. Belle felt a little bad about using him, but Nathan was no angel either and he would get over it eventually. He turned around to face her; his bright blue eyes sparkled as he smiled at her. "Belle, you look amazing," "not too bad yourself Nathan." She descended the stairs and as she reached her he pulled her in for a kiss. Instinctively, she pulled away, allowing him restricted access to her cheek. It was stupid and Belle hated that she felt this way but to her it felt wrong for any man other than Judd to kiss her. Nathan did not seem too noticed and he kissed her softly on her cheek. "Ready to go?" "As ready as I'll ever be."
The limousine ride to the event seemed short. Time passed quickly for belle when she was around Nathan. They could talk and laugh about anything. Pulling up to the event Belle felt a tug in her stomach. This would be the first time she would see Judd since it happened. Would he say hello? Belle tried to convince herself she didn't care, but deep down, she knew she always would.
The door to the limousine opened. Belle sighed and tucked her long brown hair behind her ear. The man who had opened the door reached out his hand, Belle held onto it as he helped her out of the car. Nathan got out behind her and put his arm around her waist, pulling her in close to him. They walked the short distance to the door; a man in a black uniform opened the doors for them as they headed into the main ballroom at the Michel Angelo building.
Belle stood alone in the grand ball room. Nathan had seen an old friend and excused himself to go and talk to him. She scoped the room, hoping to find someone but scared to find him. She saw Danika, she stood tall and beautiful her long blond hair in a loose bun. She saw Belle and waved her over. Usually, Belle would have immediately gone to her best friend's side. However, tonight she was standing with her step brother; Judd King.
She had no choice. Judd had seen Danika beckoning Belle over, if she didn't go over, she would appear weak. So, Belle returned Danika's smile and walked over to them.
"Belle!" exclaimed Danika, kissing her on the cheek. Belle smiled and turned to face the crowd. Danika began talking to her mother, Rose Van Stein. Moments later, she felt an arm touch her back softly. It was him. She could tell by his soft touch and smell. "Don't think I didn't notice you coming in with Archer, Belle," he whispered into her ear softly. She didn't say a word, she couldn't breathe much less speak. "His not right for you Belle and you know that." "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were Jealous." His hand on her back began moving further down. "Judd" warned Belle. He dropped his hand from her back; Belle was surprised to see him give up so easily. However, he grabbed her hand and led her away from the function and onto the balcony.
The air that night was cold and Belle wrapped her arms around herself. Judd took off his Jacket and offered it to her, she scoffed and he put it back on. "Belle," said Judd quietly as he cupped her chin with his hand, lifting her head upwards. Her eyes now looked directly into his. Judd's dark brown eyes were full of something she'd never seen in him before. Regret? Guilt? Perhaps even Love? "I should never have abandoned you." Belle's eyes widened in shock. It took her a while to respond, but eventually she muttered "why?" "I was scared" "of what?" "Myself, you… I knew as soon as your plane took off that I would regret my decision. I shouldn't have..." "You left me alone Judd! In Prague! I finally thought that this, us would work. I was stupid, to think that you would actually care about anyone other than yourself!" "I came to you, when you got back. I apologised, what more do you want from me?" "I told you to say it, but, you couldn't. Why was I surprised? A person like you could never love anything other than themselves and their cheque book!" "Belle," she could see the pain across his face but she couldn't stop, he had to know. "I will never forgive you for what you said to me Judd." "I was angry; I was annoyed at what you wanted from me." Belle shook her head and walked away, "Belle!" But Belle didn't turn around, she didn't stop walking, she didn't say goodbye to anyone, she didn't cry, until she got home.
That night, as Belle drifted off to sleep, she had the same dream she'd been having for the last week. But it wasn't a dream it was more like a memory…
Judd sat at the bar, with a drink in his hand. He looked behind him, he locked eyes with Belle. It was the first time they had seen each other since she asked him to tell her how he felt about her. She walked up to the bar and took a seat. The bartender came up and asked her what she wanted, she ordered vodka. The bartender didn't ask her for I.D as her and Judd had been to this bar many times. Despite the fact that Judd was 19 and Belle only 18.
Judd took a long sip of his drink and looked at Belle. "What do you want?" "I didn't know you would be here Judd, I Just came for a drink." "Well now you do, leave." "Judd, your drunk." "Not drunk enough to tell you I love you." Belle lifted her face and glared at him. "That's what you came for right? An I love you?" "I came for a drink Judd. This might surprise you but not everything is to do with you." Judd scoffed, turned away from Belle and returned to sipping his drink. After a few minutes of awkward, painful silence, Belle got up to leave. She was half way to the door when Judd called her name. She turned to face him, wondering what he could possibly say. "Belle..." he repeated, "I don't love you and I don't know how anyone else could." With that Judd returned to his drink, as if he hasn't said anything important, as if he hadn't just broken her heart.
Belle woke as she had the nights before, sweating and shaking. She couldn't escape him, not even in her dreams.
The next morning Belle was on her way out. As she was waiting for the lift, she wasn't surprised to see Nathan get out. "Where'd you go last night, you Just disappeared?" "Sorry Nate, I didn't feel well and I couldn't find you to say goodbye" Belle lied. "That's okay, are you free for a coffee now?" "Actually Nathan I was Just on my way out, can I take a raincheck?" "Always."
The truth was, Belle had nowhere to go. All she really wanted to do was escape. Escape from the pain, escape from the memories and escape from him. But that was impossible, everywhere reminded her of him. She hated that he had consumed her life. A year ago, if somebody had told her she would be in this position she probably would have laughed. A year ago, she would never have pictured herself pineing for a relationship that she could never have. But a year ago, she was not in love with Judd King.
After last night, Belle had no doubt, Judd loved her. He loved her probably as much as she loved him. Maybe it was easier for Belle, because she had already said the words to someone else. But why was it so hard for Judd? Belle just couldn't work him out.
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