Hi!
This is my second Fruits basket fic! (I usually only ever written Ouran High School Host Club ones – I'm a bit TOO obsessed…) It's just going to be random.
Disclaimer: I don't own fruits basket.
Here we go again…
Shigure the gorgeous...
Actually no, Shigure the super super sexy (that was much better he decided) walked towards the kitchen swaying his sexy hips sexily. He continued on his sexy way down the sexy corridor until he sexily saw the sexy kitchen in his very sexy (and constantly abused) house. 'If my house is sexy and my sexy cousins Kyo and Yuki sexily abuse it then they should be sexily arrested for sexy sex abuse!' Shigure the super super sexy thought sexily and laughed sexily to himself as he walked through the sexy doorway until he got to his sexy cousin Kyo.
'Hey sexy kitten' he slurred as he walked sexily (and possibly drunkenly) towards his sexy cousin.
'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?' His sexy cousin yelled sexily.
'Hey sexy kitten, come be Shigure the super super sexy's sexy bitch' He said and just stared at him grinning sexily.
'TOHRU? RAT BOY? SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH SHIGURE!' the sexy kitten Kyo yelled sexily in complete sexy shock.
Yuki jumped slightly at Kyo's voice echoing through the house
'TOHRU? RAT BOY? SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH SHIGURE!'
'Oh no what's wrong!' Tohru exclaimed subconsciously grabbing Yuki's arm. They were currently folding up washing in the laundry room.
'Let's go see! I mean if you want to, you could stay here if you liked but that's not saying you can't come you can but oh I'm sorry I must be confusing you and I'll let go of your arm and uh-' Tohru trailed off as Yuki smiled at her.
'Typical Tohru' He thought.
'Let's go see what he wants' Yuki said and he walked to the kitchen with Tohru trailing behin him.
As they entered they were met with a very strange sight.
Shigure was practically draped over Kyo trying to get the cat's shirt off and get his hands down Kyo's pants.
'GET OFF ME YOU PERVERT!' Kyo yelled as he tried to keep him off (and failing).
'Aw don't yell. C'mon sexy kitty let's go play' Shigure slurred quite obviously drunk. Yuki debated whether he should help the cat, but after seeing the worried look on Tohru's face he decided it would be best to assist his enemy, just this once.
'GET OFF ME YOU STUPID MUTT!' Kyo yelled but it didn't seem to deter Shigure.
Yuki walked towards Shigure and managed to pull him off Kyo.
Shigure looked at Yuki and smiled.
'Sexy mousey' He grinned and started to try and work Yuki's shirt off.
'Definetly drunk' Yuki thought smelling alcohol on his older and supposedly more responsible cousin.
'Shigure look a... Toaster!' Yuki said trying to distract him.
'Ohhhh a sexy sexy toaster' Shigure said letting go of Yuki and heading towards the 'sexy' toaster.
'Good one rat boy' Kyo said.
'I'm glad that you acknowledged I won for once' Yuki replied flatly.
'NO I DIDN'T!'
'Yes you did'
'NO I DIDN'T!'
'Yes you did'
'NO I DIDN'T'
'Um… Kyo-kun? Sohma-kun?' Tohru said timidly.
'What's wrong with Shigure?' She asked looking over at him who was now pointing at each thing in the room and calling it sexy.
'Hello sexy fridge'
'How you doin' sexy cupboard'
'Wazzup sexy kettle'
Yuki shook his head, Shigure was supposed to be their guardian but how could he be trusted if he was going and getting drunk like this. Yuki concluded he had been drinking with his brother again and he hoped that the snake didn't turn up too. One drunken Shigure was enough to handle, they didn't really need Ayame as well.
'How should I know? He just came in here rambling on about me being a 'sexy kitten'' Kyo snapped.
'He's drunk' Yuki said simply, shooting a glare at the cat for snapping at Tohru.
'But I think you would know that by now stupid cat' Yuki added.
'HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?' The 'stupid cat' yelled back.
'He's stumbling and slurring his words and he reeks of alcohol' Yuki pointed out the very clear signs that Shigure was Intoxicated.
'HOW-WH-I-hmph' Kyo grumbled and decided to just stand with his arms crossed knowing that Yuki was right.
Tohru turned to look at Shigure who was now running around singing
'I am a sexy-star with a sexy house and a sexy car I am a sexy star and I don't care who you are!'
'Well that explains his um... strange behaviour' Tohru said turning back to the boys.
'Well, stranger than usual' Yuki thought.
'But um... what do... what do we do now?' Tohru said nervously fidgeting.
'How should I know?' Kyo snapped.
'Don't yell at Miss. Honda Baka neko'
'I am not a Baka stupid nezumi!'
'You are'
'AM NOT'
'You are'
'I AM NOT!'
'Ahhhh the sexy stuffs are attacking meeeee! I didn't cheat on you Miss. Toaster with Mrs. Cupboard Doooooorrrrrrr!' Shigure yelled and then promptly passed out on the floor.
'Well I suppose that sorts that out' Kyo said shrugging.
'I'll be on the roof' and with that he left.
'Well Miss. Honda we should go and finish that washing' Yuki said turning to Tohru.
'B-but what about... C-can we just leave him here?' She asked Yuki.
'Yes we can, he's and adult and can take care of himself' Yuki said simply and walked off to the laundry room.
'Uh, um... O-okay Sohma-kun' Tohru took one last look at Shigure and followed Yuki to the laundry room.
Later…
Tohru stood in the kitchen making dinner, with Shigure still on the floor. She finished stirring the soup and looked over at him lying unconscious on the ground.
'I'm going to call Hatori-san ' She thought
She grabbed the phone and dialled Hatori's number.
'Hello?' Hatori answered in his usual un emotional tone.
'Hatori-san! Its Tohru, Shigure is uh well.. he's kind of…' She stuttered, bit embarrassed.
'Let me guess, he was drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor?' Hatori guessed.
'Oh, well um… yes, he is' Tohru agreed.
'I don't think I need to come around, he should be fine' Hatori said, trying not to turn the girl down too rudely, it was Shigure's own problem if he wanted to go out and get drunk.
'Well, Hatori-san I was just worried and thought that maybe you should check on him… But if it's too much trouble don't worry! Oh and if you're worried about dinner you can stay here! I've made miso soup! There should be plenty for all of us! And Shigure too if he wakes up… But then again if its too much trouble if it's too much trouble…' Tohru started rambling.
Hatori sighed.
'I'll be there soon Honda-san, but you shouldn't worry too much about making dinner for me' He said.
'Oh there's plenty of food it's really no trouble at all! I…' Tohru began again.
'Alright Honda-san' Hatori said, cutting Tohru off before she started rambling again.
'I'll stay for dinner'
'Oh wonderful! Well I better go and Oh My Gosh the soup is going to burn! I'm sorry Hatori-san I've got to go!' Tohru said hanging up the phone and rushing to the kitchen to check on the soup, which luckily, was fine.
On the other end of the line Hatori laughed slightly at Tohru's antics before sighing and grabbing his coat. It never ceased to amaze him how Shigure could be so immature at his age. Shaking his head he grabbed his car keys and walked out the door.
About half an hour later Hatori arrived to check on Shigure.
'Oh Hatori' Yuki said opening to door to him.
'Why are you here?' he asked as he let Hatori in.
'Honda-san called me' he said.
'Where's the idiot?' He asked.
'On the floor in the kitchen' Yuki sighed.
'I told Honda-san not to worry but…'
'She too kind' Hatori said.
Yuki nodded in agreement.
Hatpri entered the kitchen to the sight of Tohru setting the table.
'Oh Hatori-san you're here!' She exclaimed happily.
'Shigure-san is just uh…'' She said turning to look at him on the floor in the corner.
Hatori sighed and headed over to where Shigure was lying.
He checked to see if he still had a pulse (which he did) and got up.
'Well, the only thing I can do is tell you that when he wakes up he's going to have a very bad headache and that he should have a couple of aspirin, he should be fine after that' Hatori said to Tohru who was standing behind him anxiously waiting.
'Okay sure. Thank you Hatori-san!' Tohru said.
'Shall we move him maybe?' She asked.
'No he's fine there' Hatori said.
'Maybe it'll teach him not to get so drunk next time'
'but I doubt it' he thought.
'Okay well then let's eat!' she said happily.
'Yuki-kun can you go get Kyo-kun for dinner please?' she asked.
'Of course Honda-san' he said smiling.
Hatori sat down as Tohru put the food on the table. Just as she sat down Kyo followed Yuki inside.
'What are you doin' here?' Kyo asked looking at Hatori.
'Honda-san called me check on Shigure and kindly invited me to stay for dinner' Hatori said.
'Hmph' Kyo said sitting down next to him, starting to eat.
After dinner and a few minor fights (Yuki suggested that the soup would be really good with leaks and Kyo well, was his usual short tempered self), Hatori thanked Tohru and left, having to get back to Akito.
'Thank you for coming Hatori-san' Tohru said as she opened the front door to let him out.
'It's no problem Honda-san' he said.
'Thank you for dinner'
'Oh it was no problem! Feel free to come for dinner any time!' she said smiling.
'Goodbye Honda-san' he said smiling at her happy-go-lucky attitude.
'Bye Hatori-san!' she said waving as he walked off to his car.
After going inside, Tohru helped Yuki with the washing up, and with one last glance towards Shigure she went up to bed, as she had school the next morning.
The next day...
Shigure woke up lying on the floor with a pounding head and sore limbs. He didn't remember what happened after he'd gotten home from the pub with Ayame but he was pretty sure that it wasn't good considering the death glares his two cousins (who had just walked in in their school uniforms to see him rubbing his head and looking around) were shooting him.
'Kyo, Yuki. Can uh, one of you get me an aspirin?' Shigure said, using a chair as support to stand up.
'No' they both said for once agreeing with each other.
'DONT COPY ME STUPID RAT!'
'I wasn't copying you, I was simply answering our cousin'
'YOU WERE COPYING ME JUST BECAUSE YOU KNEW I WAS RIGHT!'
'But what was there to be right about?'
'STUPID RAT!'
'Baka neko!'
The two headed into the corridor with Kyo throwing punches and Yuki dodging them easily.
Tohru then poked her head in the kitchen to see what was going on and saw Shigure sitting at the table looking pitiful.
'Oh Shigure you're awake!' she smiled relieved he was ok.
'Yes I am my little flower, now did you think you could get me an aspirin?' he asked.
'My heads pounding'
'O-oh of course! I'll do it right away!' she turned to for fill his request.
'Tohru' he asked.
'What happened?'
'U-uh well um... uh' she stuttered handing him a couple of pills and a glass of water
'You see you were um.. uh... um' she stuttered not being able to find the words.
'You were-'
'drunk' Yuki said coming up behind Tohru his fight with Kyo was obviously over and Kyo followed muttering curses and rubbing his head.
'I was?' Shigure asked trying to remember how many drinks he had had the night before. All he could remember was Aya calling him while he was at Tori's and saying that since it was Saturday night they should all go to the pub. One drink turned to two and two to four and before he knew it he was on stage singing karaoke with Aya. Tori had driven them there and must have driven them hone too, because Shigure had no idea how he had actually reached his house.
'Yes you were. I actually can't believe you call yourself out caretaker, going and getting that drunk' Yuki scolded.
'And you really should do something about your breath' he added when Shigure opened his mouth to speak.
Shigure just closed his mouth and promptly passed out again.
'Oh oh no! I-I'll go call Hatori-san!' Tohru panicked and ran to the phone.
'Honda-san just leave him' Yuki called to her.
'It serves him right and we'll be late for school' Kyo added.
They left Shigure lying on the floor and left for school.
The next weekend…
'I am a sexy star with a sexy house and a sexy car I am a sexy star and I don't care who you are!' Shigure sang dancing around the kitchen.
'He's drunk again' Yuki said to Kyo.
'I CAN SEE THAT STUPID RAT'
'I just thought I would tell you since you didn't realise last time'
'WELL I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR HELP!'
'Actually you did'
'WHY YOU...'
Tohru just sighed and shook her head, heading for the phone to call Hatori.
'Here we go again!'
Ok so I know the ending wasn't really an ending but I couldn't think of how to finish it without rambling on for like a million pages.
Btw if you didn't know the song Shigure is singing to is superstar by toybox, the actual lyrics are
'I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car. I am a super star and I don't care who you are'
Please Review.
PS. sorry about the spaces and formatting etc. i can never get it the right way!
