-1Okay I know that it has been a really, really long time since my last update, but I've been going through a lot of emotional things lately. One of my reasons for not updating: I've been to a mental hospital three times this year, and another is that I have kind of lost interest in writing. But the good news for everyone is that I swear I will update my story 'Snow'. It's been so long since I even tried to write a single story, and the last time I did I only got as far as a page when I gave up not feeling the will to continue. I simply felt that the stories that I tried to write sucked. I even tried to start writing my own book once. You know how far I got? One introductory paragraph. ..;; It was really good too, but too bad that my will to continue sucked.
Anyway this is a one-shot song-fic that I wrote about a year ago. Man.. I can't believe that my last update would be exactly a year from now on the 23rd. ..;; cough. Anyway.. In this fic Sakura and Naruto both are 17, Sasuke is 18, and Kakashi is 31 years old. Now on with the story…
Disclaimer: I own a wall scroll with Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke-kun on it, I own a leaf forehead protector, a Pakkun plushie, && a picture of ninja weapons, scrolls, and forehead protectors that I drew, but unfortunately I do not own Naruto, nor do I own 'My Last Breath' by Evanescence. Sigh.
Talking - "Blah"
Lyrics - Blah
Thoughts - 'blah'
Poem - Blah
My Last Breath
After a long day of training Team 7 made their way to the red colored bridge that they met at every morning to say their goodbyes and depart for home. It was about 9:00 at night at the time. Kakashi stopped on the bridge and turned to his former students.
"Meet here tomorrow at 8:00am. I'm expecting you all to be on time." He smiled through his navy colored mask.
"But you're only going to be late! So why?" Naruto retorted as he threw his left arm up into the air, pointing an accusing finger that the white haired man. Kakashi in return gave him an 'I-don't-care-be-here-on-time-anyway' look. Naruto gulped and nodded his head, lowering his fist back down to his side. Kakashi then smiled his uncovered eye formed into that of an upside down "U".
"Goodbye! See you in the morning." Kakashi said as he pulled out his little orange book before disappearing with a poor of gray smoke. Sakura sighed and turned to Sasuke and Naruto.
"I'll see you two in the morning. I'm going home." Sakura said as she put on her best fake smile.. She had been practicing it for years ever since Sasuke had left the village for the snake-sannin Orochimaru. The two boys in front of her fell for it. Naruto smiled back at her while Sasuke just nodded softly not necessarily paying attention.
"Bye Sakura!" Naruto said happily. "I'm going home too. Bye Sasuke-teme." Naruto left leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone.
"Well bye." Sakura said quietly and turned to leave.
"Bye Sakura." Sasuke said and headed home. Sakura waited for the dark haired ninja to be out of sight, and then headed away from the bridge. Instead of going home Sakura headed the opposite way. She wanted to be alone. She needed to be alone.
The pink haired kunoichii wandered around in the woods thinking to herself. Her face filled with despair. Her emerald green eyes blank like a void. No emotion filled her eyes, but on the inside.. many emotions ran through her. Hate, anger, despair, desperation, need, and confusion.
Sakura hated everything and everyone, she was angry with the world. She didn't like her life anymore, and she didn't know why. She was desperate to end her pain. She longed for that day that it would all end. She needed to feel relief. Relief from it all. Sakura couldn't bare it any longer.
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
Sakura stood in the woods, the world around her like nothing. She silently listened to the sound of the night. She didn't even know how much time was passing. Seconds, minutes, even hours; she didn't care. All that mattered was what was to come.
She decided to walk some more. Just thinking as she walked, thinking of old times, thinking of her pain. how it came to be like this she didn't know nor did she care, but somewhere deep down she knew. She knew very well what was eating up her insides. She didn't care about anything anymore. All she cared about was escaping. Escaping from her 'horrible' life.
When Sakura snapped back to reality, she noticed something. It shocked her. She was in a place she unconsciously walked to as she walked, a place she never thought she'd go. At least not on her own.
To Sasuke's house.
When she had left the cold, dark and lonely woods she didn't know, but now she was outside of his house. She didn't know why she was there, but she was.
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Unconsciously she let tears slip down her porcelain cheeks. Teaks for the loe she once held for the stoic Uchiha. She used to love him so much. She didn't even know when that love had subsided. Or was it still there? Deep down inside of her?
She didn't know.
Once again she silently made her was away from her current location, but this time to her home. For that is where she would end it. End it all. Never to see the light of day again, never to breathe another breath.
She made her way through the silent streets of Konoha. Street lights lightly the path.
Slowly she stepped up to her door and unlocked it. Stepping inside her home she looked around for any signs of her parents. There were none. 'Probably on a 'mission' again' she thought to herself.
Once in her room she put her things away and lay on her bed looking up at her ceiling. Rolling over to her side she grabbed her notebook and began to write in it once more. She wrote her final words, her feelings and her final goodbye in it.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are the thoughts of you
Sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight.
Leaving it open, she sat it on her nightstand. She rolled back over and sat up on her bed. Getting up from her bed she walked over to her small closet and changed into a pure white silk nightgown before going back to her small bed. Sitting up on the bed she sighed softly to herself as she grabbed the kunai knife from under her pillow, beginning to carve away at her pale skin.
With each cut came some relief, but it wasn't enough. No it was never enough, to say that it was would be a lie. A horrible lie.
Blood stained her perfect skin; it was beautiful. The crimson blood stained the sheets of her bed as she laid down. Her white gown, too, was stained with the crimson liquid. With all the wounds she had inflicted upon herself, some would say that was painful, but not Sakura. No, to her it felt good.
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Slowly her eyes shut as she made one final cut, a slice of her throat. Blood now leaking from every where on her body. Arms, legs, chest, and now her neck. No one could save her now, not that they knew. They never knew. Nobody ever looked close enough to notice how she truly felt on the inside. Never looked hard enough to notice it was all a lie. But when morning comes they will all know what went on inside her mind. All they had to do was notice that she was missing and come to look for her. Only to find her dead and gone and her notebook filled with her thoughts.
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Slowly she sank into a deep sleep with a smile upon her face, tears staining her cheeks to go with all the blood around her. Sakura was happy now. She got what she had wanted fo so long. Her ever lasting sleep, an escape from her suffering. Death.
The next day came within hours. When she didn't show up for training that day her teammates began to worry. So they went to the only place she could possibly be.
Her home.
They knocked and knocked and banged on the door, but when no one answered the panicked. Naruto yelled for her, calling her name for her to answer, but of course.. no one would. She was gone. Sasuke ran around the house looking in windows, being way more useful than Naruto and his screaming. When he got to Sakura's window, what he saw frightened him. A figure in a white dress covered in blood, not breathing.
Sakura.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are my thoughts of you
Sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight
Calling to Naruto to go and get Kakashi, Sasuke tried to open the window, but when he could he decided to do it the quick and easy way. Breaking the window he made his way inside. Tears threatened to fall as he reached the side of the pink haired kunoichii.
A few minutes later Naruto arrived with Kakashi right behind him. They stood with wide eyes at the sight before them. They never thought that in a million years they would see this. Yes they have seen it all before, but nothing like this. Their teammate and friend dead laying in her room, dead with carvings in her skin. Cuts made by her own hand, and the kunai still in her hand. They had never wanted to see anything like this They wished that they hadn't. They wanted it all to be the way it was. The way it was before this all happened.
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Noticing the open notebook on the table by her bed, Kakashi picked it up and read the contents of the page. Clearly she had meant for them to find it for within it was a suicide note in the form of a poem. Naruto lay on the floor weeping, silently asking 'Why?', but Kakashi now knew why thanks to the words written by his late former student who is the source of the pain in their hearts now.
Sasuke continued to stand at the edge of the bed looking at her corpse seemingly in shock. The girl that he had protected from enemies was now laying dead in front of him. He couldn't protect her from oe very unsuspected enemy. Herself.
It crushed him seeing her wounded like that. Dead. And he wasn't able to do a thing. Sakura had seemed so happy. He just didn't understand it. Why couldn't he see her pain before this happened? Why?
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black
Sakura was gone and there was nothing anyone could do. All of Konoha would be different with out her. All that was left was her memory and her book of poems.
Suicidal Burns
I want to settle in the dust
I want to burn eternal
In the sky
I want to dream a peaceful sleep
Have you guessed
I want to die?
Blade slash across my neck
Breath that is taken from me
Broken bones and fleshy wounds
Any will do for my final epiphany.
Brains, guts, and bruises
Lacerations or a cut
A cool sweet death above anything
Because die tonight I must.
To shut your eyes and never wake
To finally be beyond
To free from the sorrow, love, and hate
To reach the other dawn.
A life time hastily spent on Earth
And now at least is gone
And so to all I bid farewell
And go at last to home.
When I die I want to wear
A dress all made of white
I want the bagpipes to play
Their sweet songs in the night.
I will never have to disagree again
I will never have to beg
Tomorrow will not matter much
And I will forget yesterday.
My lips are full of silence
My hands are cold and blue
My eyes now look upon
The last hope I'll ever see in you.
Her final words written neatly upon the paper put an arrow through their hearts. All these feelings and no one noticed. It must have been lonely.
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
(Calling me calling me as you fade to black) Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight
(Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight
Holding my last breath)
Omg I finally posted it! I'm so proud of myself! Haha. This is a start. Now all I need to do is get to work finishing chapter five of 'Snow'. Ugh..I have so much work to do. Xx;
R&R!! That little button is just screaming your name! You hear it??
xD
