"It's here! It's here!" cried the excited voice of one Flandre Scarlet as she bounced around the grand foyer of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The young blonde girl jumped up and down, punctuating her highs with cartwheels and mid-air summersaults. Near the double doors of the mansion's entrance was a rather massive wooden crate, a fatigued deliveryman leaning against it in utter exhaustion. The damn thing weighed a ton figuratively. The damn thing weighed four and a half tons literally.
Next to him stood the mansion's perfect elegant maid, Sakuya, scribbling off her signature on a clipboard to acknowledge the delivery, before sending him off with a smile and a curtsy. As the doors closed, the familiar boom echoing throughout the room, she turned to address her mistress' sister.
"Mistress Flandre, your package has arrived safely. Shall I have it moved to your room? It will only take a few minutes."
"No way! I wanna open it now! Now!" exclaimed Flandre, rushing the box with abandon. As the younger sister tore viciously at the box to reveal its contents, the older sister entered the room, her distinguished yet vertically-challenged form radiating a natural aura of control.
Remilia Scarlet took one look at the scene before her, a frown marring her face as she noted the massive multi-ton object lying in her foyer. "Sakuya," she began, "What's going on here?"
"It appears Mistress Flandre has ordered another package over the internet."
"I see…" Remilia was not pleased. "Flandre, what in the seven circles of hell did you order this time?"
"Big sis!" Flandre chirped, "Check this out!" She hauled a massive hunk of metal out of the box, her slight frame unflinching as she wielded the equivalent mass of a truck. "My Gun-Gun arrived!"
"…Your what?" asked Remilia deadpan.
"My Gun-Gun! See, unlike a normal gun, which fires bullets, this gun fires guns!" She pointed the Gun-Gun at a wall and pulled the trigger to demonstrate, and a dozen AK-47s shot out of whatever constituted a barrel for the weapon, blasting away the wall within seconds. "See?" Flandre asked proudly.
"And how much did this little toy of yours cost?" growled Remilia through clenched teeth.
"Umm…five million?"
"FIVE MILLION?!" shouted Remilia, all traces of composure gone. "You spent five million on this piece of garbage?!"
"But-! But-!"
"Damn it Flandre, this is unacceptable! I will not let you squander away my hard-earned money to fuel your ridiculous obsession with weaponry!"
"But it's not like I'm bankrupting us! You make twenty billion easy in-"
"I don't care if we can afford it!" declared Remilia. "I spend long days toiling away in my office, while you waste yours away making explosions in your room! No more! From now on, you, Flandre Scarlet, are getting a job! And you're not coming back until you prove your worth!"
"But big sis-!"
"No buts! Sakuya, please see my sister out of the mansion."
"What?! But-!"
"I apologize, Mistress Flandre, but I must obey Mistress Remilia. Please follow me."
"Waaah!" cried Flandre as she was led away. "Big sis is a big meanie! Meanie!" The double doors closed, signaling an end to Flandre's protests.
Alone, Remilia sighed. As much as she loved her sister and usually took great joy in spoiling her, this was for her own good. She walked to one of the many windows overlooking the vast courtyard of her familial mansion, her sister and her maid practically specks on the horizon, soon to be parted as Sakuya left Flandre outside the gates. A few minutes later, Sakuya took her place next to Remilia, the pair of them still gazing at the spot Flandre had last been before she'd disappeared.
"Do you think she'll be okay, Sakuya?"
"I am certain Mistress Flandre has the strength necessary to pull through this trial, Mistress."
"…I'm glad you think so."
Remilia turned to leave, then caught her maid gazing longingly out the window. She turned to see the estate grounds, currently abloom with the myriad colors of nature, tended to by the mansion's sole gardener, Hong Meiling. "Oh for fuck's sake, just ask her out already!" she huffed before heading back to her office.
"…Mistress?"
Remilia turned over her shoulder and glared at the light blush form on her maid's face. "That's an order!"
Sakuya's blush grew, and she dipped her head in embarrassment. "It…It will be done Mistress."
"Kids these days!" scoffed Remilia in irritation. Seriously, if only young people were more direct about everything, life would be so much easier! She proceeded to say as such, then launched into a six hour rant about everything that was wrong with the world, climaxing in a drunken tirade where she spouted nothing but racist remarks for the better part of half an hour. Sakuya had no idea there were so many derogative ways to refer to one's ethnicity…
And just when it seemed as if she was finally calming down, Remilia had broken down crying about how much she missed her sister, and started spouting all the different things she wanted to do with her the next time she saw her. It would have been sweet, had Remilia's desires not been so… incestuous. Sakuya chose to ignore these ramblings as well, and finally managed to get her mistress to bed with Meiling's help, the gardener restraining her mistress while Sakuya tucked her in tightly, almost as if she were putting her in a straightjacket.
Oh wait. She did.
On the other side of the city, at a rather nondescript outdoor café, a lone figure sat, wrapped in a white, oversized robe meant to conceal their identity from prying eyes. A lone cup of coffee was before them, clasped in gloved hands as it was brought to their lips. Then the figure sneezed. The coffee went flying.
"Oh crap," they muttered, as puddles of coffee landed on the table, the floor, and the chair opposite. The figure looked around hastily for a napkin but found none, so the figure proceeded to use the robe to wipe up the spilled liquid, the fine white turning into a cocoa brown. The figure winced. This robe was pretty much ruined…
The sound of approaching footsteps interrupted the cleaning, and without thinking, the robed figure sat on the coffee-stained chair, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling of sitting on something wet. They looked up to meet the confused yet suspicious gaze of their contact. "Welcome," they stated, "Please have a seat."
Marisa sat at the proffered chair, before resting her arms on the table to talk about business. "You dropped a line?" she asked.
The figure nodded. "Indeed. You are the leader of Mayhem?"
"Yeah, that's me," Marisa confirmed, and the figure reached an arm into the voluminous robe to retrieve an envelope, tossing it to her. The blonde expert broke the seal and began reading, her eyes glossing over line after line of precise exposition, looking for the one part that mattered to her. As soon as she reached the part detailing her fee, her eyes went wide.
"This file contains all the details of what I want, as well as how much I'm willing to pay. Do we have an agreement?"
"You're seriously offering this in cash?" Marisa asked incredulously. "I'd get you the freaking moon for this much!"
"Good. Then I expect results at the end of the week." The figure reached into the robe again and withdrew a briefcase. "Consider this a five percent down payment. You'll get the rest when the job is done." With that, the figure stood and departed.
Marisa whistled as she appreciated the sight before her. This was definitely enough to pay for her mushrooms… Wait, what did this person want exactly? She checked the file again. "…They want what?!"
Several seconds passed with her in stunned silence, before she broke out into laughter. Despite the stares and glares from various patrons and members of the wait staff, Marisa just kept laughing. Eventually, her little fit subsided, and she went to put away her, for lack of a better term, mission statement. She wiped a tear away. "This job is freaking ridiculous…"
Marisa barged into the main room of her headquarters, disturbing the peaceful musings of her teammates as she slammed the door open, then slammed it closed again. She strode over to the center table of the room, stepping around and over the various bits and pieces of equipment and other miscellanies they had accumulated over the years. She dropped the client's file and placed both her hands on the table, a satisfied smirk on her face.
"Gather round girls, and let me tell you about our newest haul," she announced, beckoning the others over to her. "This little gem is gonna break our slump and get us right back on our feet. I know; everything changed once Reimu got married. We just didn't have the girlpower to rake in any real cash. Heck, we still don't. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, one that, if we pull it off, will see us living large for a looooooong time!" Marisa smiled widely, her hands spreading a set of blueprints across the oft used meeting table, her cohorts leaning in with anticipation.
"Girls…let's heist!"
