A/N – some of you know and some don't but over this past holiday weekend I endure a car accident. Thankfully I only incurred some bruising but my car was totaled. This one shot was my way of grieving for the loss of my car which I loved more than anything. Although parts of this are true, most of it is fiction but it was a way of helping me deal with it all, so I hope you do enjoy it.

It happened all in a matter of minutes. My life, the choices I made, the decisions I was yet to make and the unknown future that lied ahead of me all flashed in front of my eyes in rapid succession. I never thought at such a young age I would be forced to rethink my life, the direction I was set upon by the decisions I had made up until this point but just like that, God wrapped me in his arms and protected me from the assumed deathly outcome of this traumatic event.

When I woke up this morning I never thought it would end quiet this way. It was true Edward and I had been on shaky waters for some time now, my thoughts, dreams and actions predicated on him solely and now with him absent, I felt almost lost in my new skin. He thought it best that we take a break from our ten year relationship because somewhere along the way we had grown apart. I couldn't conceptualize my life without him but it would seem the discussion was not up for debate. A note was all I found when I arrived home from work Friday night, a note! He told me I should take this time apart to really rethink things and prioritize my life.

To say I was angry would be an understatement. This man, the one I built my life around, the one I left home and all my friends for was telling me to get my priorities straight. I guess on some level he was right, making him the center of my world left no room for what I wanted or dreamed of in life because it was always about him.

I tried to push my anger aside and use the time forced upon me as a time for reflection and decide if I wanted out of this prison or if I wanted to rot under the roof of a man who neither respected nor loved me the way a boyfriend should.

It was strange to sleep, eat, and even watch TV alone because I had never done so without him. The normal everyday routine of small chat and silence was what I had come to know and accept as my reality and now it was gone. With no set direction or guidance, I decided to just relax and try to think about what I wanted, needed and deserved. It was made clear to me by his absence that I was no more a priority than him remembering to brush his teeth in the morning so like he said I had to prioritize.

Although the sting of this heartbreak would seem irrevocable, one some strange level it wasn't as bad as I thought. It almost felt like the heavy leash that had been shackled around my neck all these years had finally disappeared and I had no one to answer to or rely on but myself. It was a rebirth of sorts and although it sadden me to discover that my relationship was no more like sugar coated imaginary notion I had embedded in my mind, I felt like for the first time, I was able to look past it and see the bigger picture.

As hard as it was to come to terms with this new reality, I embraced it, welcomed it with open arms and used the free time to enjoy the things I liked to do but never had the time to do on my own. As I was chatting away with my coworker on the phone about some office gossip, I was disrupted by a knock on my apartment door.

Quickly I rushed my friend off the phone and answered the door. Surprisingly it was my neighbor from downstairs asking if it was at all possible and if I had time if I could give her a ride into the city for a concert she had tickets for. Normally my answer would be no because with Edward around, there was nothing I could say or do until he gave me the ok to do it but now with him gone and me as the only decision maker, without restraint I agreed.

Slightly nervous and apprehensive about driving to the city I doubled checked to make sure I had my GPS handy. Thankfully Edward left it in my car and we were on our way without delay. The thank you's and I owe you big times never stopped coming the entire drive down and although after a while it became annoying, I was just happy to be out and doing something that under normal circumstances I would never do.

The city was very intimidating with its vast population of not only pedestrians, weird intersections and numerous disgruntle cab driver but also the almost claustrophobic feeling you received once you traveled down its many one way streets. A person could easily be consumed by it all but I pushed my fears aside and eased my nerves by reminding myself that I was doing a good deed and I'm sure somewhere along the way it would get paid forward.

After swerving in and out of traffic and dodging several unruly cab drivers along one of the busiest interaction in Manhattan, I managed to reach our destination and get my neighbor to her concert almost a half hour early.

Thanking me profusely she gives me a hug and hollers to me while shutting the door that she owes me big time. Just happy to be of service I smile, wave goodbye and wait until she arrives safely on the sidewalk before I leave.

Once out of my sight, I pull back into the flow of traffic and if I had to describe the feeling it was almost euphoric. This was the first decision I made without judgment, questioning or discussion. It was amazing how something so simple could feel so empowering. With a larger than life smile on my face I press my signal light on to turn onto the next available street to make it back to the highway.

Being the excellent driver I was and knowing the crazy unexpectedness of the city, I ease myself to the left and wait at a second light in a small wedged area between the two lanes travel south and the two lanes traveling north. It always seemed so strange to me that there be two lights to cross one road but then again, with the large amount of traffic I guess it was necessary.

While waiting I reached over to glance at my phone, a habit I developed whenever I traveled without him in the car. It was strange how my actions seem almost robotic and for a second I'm angered with myself for even glancing to see if he called. I wasn't important so why should he be?

Angered I look away and glance up at the light. Thankfully it was now green and as I ease off the break and roll into the intersection, that's when life changed.

When people speak of an accident and they say it all happened so quickly I never knew what hit me, we as onlookers or the recipients of knowledge quickly dismiss it and say how could you not know? But let me tell you it happens so quickly there is nothing much you can do but brace for it and pray you make it out alive.

When the adrenaline surged through my body and the powder from the airbags and smoke from my crushed engine entered my lungs I began to cough. Thousands upon thousands of thoughts plagued me in that moment. I didn't care that I was still breathing, that I managed to survive the impact of the racing cab driver as he annihilated the only thing that meant anything in my life, no, all I thought about in that split second was, why me?

It felt like everything had come down upon my shoulders at once, my failing relationship, my nonexistent personal life, my inability to make the right decisions and now this, a catastrophic event that would forever change my life.

My car, the one thing I purchased on my own and had driven for over nine years payment free was now destroyed. It felt like not only was my only source of transportation destroyed but everything I had come to know as my reality went along with it. I was alone, injured, disorientated and angry. I knew from past experience not to exit a vehicle without medical attention but it felt like this rage, this internal conflict within me was busting at the seams and all I could think to do was scream.

I reached for my belt buckle, unfastened it and pried open the door. The moment the hot summer air entered my lungs and I saw my babe, my prized position in pieces, I crumbled like week old bread in the hands of the assisting police officer. Tears fell from my eyes like a broken faucet, my apologies and fear spilling from my lips in incoherent garbled sentences as I prayed this was all a dream and that my life truly was as bad as it was all made out to be.

The softness of his tone, the way he held me, comforted me in my chaotic state did nothing to stop the tears but managed to ease the pounding of my rapid heartbeat and shaken body. "Miss are you ok? Are you sure you're not hurt? Do you need medical attention? I know you're scared and we are here to help you, let me help you."

I'm not sure if it was the sincerity in his words or the simple gesture at the end of his plea "let me help you" that woke my mind up but out of nowhere the tears stopped and my eyes drifted from my car to the police officer. As if I were staring into God's eyes, my vision was fixed on him, his constant reiteration of assistance mute to my ears as I was lost in his onyx eyes. This was the first time anyone had offered to help me and although I knew he was doing his job and trying to reclaim my safety there was just something about his choice of words that made me want to surrender to his will.

I stumbled into his arms, my legs giving up the momentary strength I had and allowing someone other than Edward to take claim of my safety. This was the first time in my life I had removed that safety net and allowed someone to stake claim in the outcome of my life. I was scared, worried, anxious and completely void of any emotion other than the weight of disappointment. I wanted to believe I was a strong person, my will and determination in every facet of my life other than my relationship displaying nothing but success and now, when I made the decision to do something on my own, I'm rewarded with nothing other than disappointment.

"We need to get you over to the car. Your engine was hit hard and I fear it might catch fire. Follow me" he whispers into my ear, my mind still lost in the confusion of it all and in complete denial of my failure to do one solid thing on my own without assistance.

"Are you sure you're ok? Do you need to go to the hospital?" he inquires, his arms never losing touch with me, his embrace firm and reassuring and yet my mind finds no peace, my eyes glancing over my shoulder at the only thing in my life that meant anything to me, destroyed and broken beyond repair.

I know I should be grateful I'm alive, to survive an accident such as this should be a blessing but with the failure of my relationship it just seemed like everything was coming to a head all at the same time. I felt like the world was spinning out of control and instead of placing my hand upon it and forcing it to bend to my will, I was lost in its rotation and destined to remain in this vicious cycle of destruction.

"You're alive that's all that matters Ms. Swan. A few more inches and you would have been impaled by that cab driver. You are a very lucky woman. Cars are replaceable but we are not" he softly says as he places my purse in my lap as I remain seated in the back seat of his car.

I knew he spoke the truth and normally words of wisdom such as those would be of comfort but I just couldn't see past the black cloud that descended upon me all in a matter of hours. "But it's all that I have…it's what I worked so hard to attain and now it's….gone" I whimper knowing my words must seem petty and inappropriate but there was so much truth behind them.

The car meant everything to me, it was the only thing that was mine and mine alone. No one could change that fact and although my life as a whole should be the same, the fact of the matter was it wasn't. Edward was my life, my gravitational pull to this reality and with the loss of him, even if it was temporary, I felt like I was floating into limbo with no hope of recovery.

I looked up at the officer, my eyes glancing at his badge and the nameplate above that read "Black". The badge made me smile for a moment seeing how it reminds me of how black and grim my life seems at the moment. "You did it once, you will do it again. "He replies, my eyes glancing up into his and for an instant, his sincerity, his virtuous caring nature invades my grieving thoughts and for a moment, I have hope.

How easily swayed is the emotion known as hope. It has been a constant torment in my life since I can remember, plaguing my thoughts, teasing me with its notions of grandeur, of a better life and then tossing me to the wolves known as disappointment just as quickly. Hope was the feeling that afflicted me, what kept me from a destiny I was sure to achieve had I not held tight to this mischievous notion.

I was quick to look away; the anger brewing inside me was unlike anything I had felt before. My chest burned with choler, my mind swarmed with notions, ideologies I would never see come to fruition because at the end of the day I was still hopeful, wishful, naïve Bella.

The hollering of several men pulls me from my infuriating thoughts and back towards my car. I watch in awe as the fire truck arrives and four men hop out of the truck and apply sand to the pile of blood that seeps from my beloved. The sight cripples me further, the sadness consuming every thought and forcing the pain out in a waterfall of tears upon my cheek. I feel helpless to stop it, my hands constantly removing the wetness from my cheek only to find puddles more in return. I hated feeling so weak, a victim of my own emotions and barely strong enough to hold it together to do what needed to be done.

"Ms. Swan, it will be ok. I know it's hard but it will be ok" he whispers as he opens the door and knees beside me.

"I wish it was…" I whimper knowing the truth behind those words and the realization that in order to reach the top you had to start from the bottom and work your way up.

I wish I could put into words how I felt, how shattered the world around me seemed and how my heart, at any given moment was willing to stop beating all because I made a poor choice.

"The paramedic needs to take a look at you ok? Let me help you out." He replies as he extends his hand out to me.

As if my body is in auto pilot, my mind shut off to all around me, consumed by guilt and grief and I reach out and allow this man, this caring man to help me to aid. He takes a strong hold of me, his one hand in mine while the other is around my waist guiding me towards the ambulance. I tried to find comfort in his embrace, allow my heart to feel the pain so eventually I can move past it but this feat is much harder than I ever imagined it to be.

As if he can feel my weakness, his arms come around my low body and lift me, his body taking on the weight of mine entirely as he lifts himself and me into the ambulance. I can hear the paramedic and the officer talking about me, her inquiries over my injury, if he knew I was in pain or just in shock and his tender response that it was mostly my hand and knee and the rest was just pure fear. It amazed me how in tune he was to my emotion but then again, he must have seen many like me in his years of experience.

I sat with the paramedic a while, my inner strength pooling together and forcing me to answer the questions asked of me while my eyes remained on my babe, broken just several feet from where I sat comfortably. The paramedic was kind and ushered onto to me the words many others including several pedestrians had in passing, "You are alive. Thank God."

I wish I could find solace in the words and be grateful God spared my life so I could learn from my mistakes but I just couldn't see past this shroud of guilt and sadness that clung tightly to my thoughts.

"Do you have someone you can call?" the paramedic inquires, her words ripping the little strength I still had within me to keep it together and causing the tears to fall steady once again. The one person I could think of was gone so who else was there? I was alone, completely and utterly alone. What a sad existence, to not have anyone other than an unappreciative, neglectful, selfish boyfriend to call for aid.

Angered that I was even inclined to call him, I reach over and realize my purse was still in the cop car. I resort to the fact that I didn't need nor want his help and this was God's way of smacking sense into my nonsensical mind.

"No, my…" my voice drifts off into the noise of the busy New York streets, my mind wanting to say the words but my heart to hurt by the notion that he wasn't there to save me so I remain silent.

I had always said to him one day I would will need you and you won't be there and here that day is and still, even after all the fights, all the nights I went to bed in tears because he chose his friends over me, I still longed for the comfort of his embrace.

"The tow truck is here Ms. Swan. Do you think you are fit enough to sign the release?"

My eyes drift over to Officer Black and once again I find myself lost in his kindness. As if preprogrammed I nod, my mind longing to feel something other than pain, loss and guilt and knowing he could make me feel special, even if it was by a simple gesture of an escort I leaped for it.

Courteously he extends his hand out, the warmth of his grip filling my body and replacing the sadness with a small measure of hope that in time this too shall pass. He never leaves my side, my hand refusing to grip the pen that will seal the fate of my most prized possession.

"It will be ok Bella, I promise." His words ease my stance and slowly I sign my car away to it final resting place. I know I will never see it again, never experience the happiness it has brought my life but for a moment, within the heat of his side embrace, it felt like I was going to be ok.

I watched as the tow man walked away, entered the flatbed and drove away. It was one of the hardest things to bear and with everything crumbling around me it was more than I could take. My body gave in to the pressure, the sadness of my life and the unforeseen vision of my future. My heart wanted no more to do with this world and so in normal fashion my mind followed suit and everything went black.

My dreams were filled with visions of my past, the happiest moments and dark ones. There was no rhyme or reason to its madness so I just allowed my mind to grieve the best way it knew how. I'm not sure how long I was out but when I regained consciousness, the smell of heated leather and sweetness filled my senses.

I willed my eyes to open as I rose from what felt like a leather couch. When my eyes regained focus, I could see glass windows all around me and a large wooden desk just off to my right. I assumed with no one to call or claim me the officers saw fit to bring me back to the station. I wondered if the paramedic agreed to such a notion but apparently they felt I was in good hands and let me go.

Rubbing the dryness from my eyes I sat up and before I could look around, the weight of someone sitting beside me called my attention. "I hope you don't mind that I brought you here. I wasn't sure who to call and after the paramedic said this was normal, the best place I could think of was here."

Strangely the only response I could conjure was a smile. No one, not even Edward would go out of their way to ensure my safety and here I was, broken beyond repair and failed to truly notice the guardian angel right beside me.

"I take it you are feeling a little better?" he replies as he rises from his seat and walks over to the small coffee pot resting on the edge of his filing cabinet.

"Yes for now. It is all so…surreal. I mean I know to you I must seem over dramatic and a basket case and I really can't explain why I feel so all over the place but that car…it…" the words were caught in my throat, choking me with the realization once again that my pride and joy was gone, forever.

"Everything" he replies as he returns to his seat beside me and extends the coffee mug out towards me.

"Yeah" I sigh, the tears threating their attack once again as my heart clenches within my chest.

"I feel the same way about my car. I bought my car right off the lot, the only thing I purchased on my own with my name stamped on it. If anything were to happen to good old Betsy…"

Out of nowhere I started to laugh. I thought I was the only one who named their car.

"It's a good sold name." he replies with a chuckle.

"Yes it is. A great name" I reply, the blush filling my cheeks as our eyes linger on one another's for a moment.

There was such purity, such radiance and tenderness in his eyes I felt almost weak. I couldn't imagine that another person, let alone someone in my gravitational pull could have such a heart but here he sat, my guardian angel rescuing me in so many ways without even knowing it.

What I saw in his eyes was my own reflection, the broken and shattered Bella who lost complete regard for her own self and wellbeing, a woman so broken by the breaks in life she couldn't see the goodness contained with it.

"Listen I'm not sure if you want to call anyone or if you…"

Before he can finish I cut him off, "No, there is no one to call. I guess I will have to call a cab. It will cost a fortune but as the good people of New York keep reminding me, I should be grateful I'm alive."

Reaching for my hand and gripping it softly he replies "I'll take you home. I'm familiar with that part of New York. I used to live not too far from your house. I would be honored to take you home."

I sat there in silence and in shock over his proposition. Under normal circumstances and being the ever faithful girlfriend I would have declined but all was lost in the accident. With my car went everything that comprised Bella swan. God had offered a chance at a new life and for the first time, it felt right to allow someone else to take care of me.

"Thank you."

"Just doing my job" he replies cheerfully as he smiles with his pearly whites and starts to rise from the chair.

Before he can fully rise, I squeeze his hand, my lips freeing the words I held captivate for fear of admittance, "No Officer Black, thank you for rescuing me, for saving me from all of this. I know you say you are just doing your job but no one has done anything like this for me before and I'm grateful that…"

"It's Jake. You can call me Jake."

"Thank you Jake for everything."

His grip got firm within mine and his arm rose forcing me from my seat to stand closely in front of him. With his spare hand he reaches for the mug that still remains in my hand, tugs it gently, removes it and places it on the couch beside us.

Softly his hand moves from mine and he pulls me into a hug. Like fire to ice I melt into his arms, my body desperate for the comfort he offers and my mind yearning just the same.

"It will be ok. I promise. Let me help you Bella. I know what it feels like to lose everything and feel alone. You're not alone."

The tears fell immediately upon recognition and for the first time in my life I allowed his tenderness to pierce my aching heart. I wanted someone to tell me it would be ok and even if they didn't mean it, I knew it would be what I needed to hear and what my heart desperately yearned for.

I wasn't sure what lied ahead for me or what I might encounter next on this journey called life but what I was sure about and what I could promise was that my old life left on that tow truck down 79th street and my new life was starting in the arms of the Officer known as Jake Black.