Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.

Author's Note: So my team has this set of "Ultimate Writing Rules" and the fourth one goes like this: is it weirder than turning a desk into a pig? If 'no', then it's not too weird; keep it. That is the only excuse I have for y'all.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: MC4A; House Competition (Term 4); The Nautical Ship Challenge
House: Hufflepuff
Role: Player (7th Year)
Category: Pre-Round Challenge
Prompt: Kim (Ship)
Representation(s): GSRM Life; Expected Boundaries; Magic; Sirius Black; Rule 4; Wolfstar; Aurors/Warlocks; Marauders
Bonus Challenges: Lettuce Hold Hands; Second Verse (Found Family; Wabi Sabi; Middle Name; Tomorrow's Shade; Unwanted Advice; Unicorn; Car in a Tutu; Fruit Fly; Odd Feathers; Zucchini Bread; Creature Feature; Machismo; Under the Bridge)
Word Count: 431

(^^)
What the Dog Brought Home
(^^)

Sirius Black was not what anyone would call inconspicuous. Remus knew this about him and loved him both for it and despite it. Sirius Black was also more than a bit over the top, impulsive, and prone to bouts of the same insanity so prevalent in members of the Black family. Again, Remus knew these things and loved him both for them and despite them. They had been through a lot together, both as Marauders and as a couple. God willing, Remus was going to die loving this impossible man.

At the same time, this was simply too much.

This being Sirius standing in the front hall of their shared flat next to a pure white goat that didn't reach above Sirius' knees. Both of them were staring at Remus with matching pale gray-blue eyes. The goat—which had to be a kid, based on its size—had the longest ears Remus had ever seen on a member of the species, each one ending with a tight trio of curls. Sirius' hair had been pulled back from his face with the exception of two braids complicated enough that Lily had to have done them.

That didn't bode well for this situation because it meant that Lily was most likely involved already.

"Sirius," Remus said with a deliberate lack of inflection, "what have you brought into our apartment?"

"A smoothie," Sirius answered. Then he took a deep suck on the straw that was sticking out of the Muggle-style clear cup. The contents were a rich purple and the thickness meant that it was probably a smoothie like Sirius claimed. Remus turned his entire face towards the ceiling and took a deep breath to collect his thoughts. "Don't be like that, honey-bunch. It's a very good smoothie. Blueberry and plum flavored. I think you'd really like it if you tried it."

"I meant the goat, Sirius."

"Well, if you knew what Fred was, why did you ask?"

Remus dropped his gaze to Sirius' face. The man looked genuinely confused. Remus let out the breath he had taken in a resigned sigh. Apparently, they had a kid now. Maybe it was time to start spending more than just the full moon at the cottage.

"Is Fred housebroken at least?"

"Yeah, she's good. Lily wouldn't let me get any of the ones that needed to be kept outside."

Remus wasn't surprised at all that Lily had been an active participant in this. It was exactly something that she would do.

The bright pink color of Fred's hooves was entirely because of Sirius, though.

Remus just knew it.