Hello lovelies! Another 2x5 fic (oneshot). A little bit of angst, but still hope you enjoy!
I do not own C:KND, all rights to the characters belong to Mr. Warburton
(Listen to Estelle – Fight for It)
Winding down the lone suburban streets, few cars grace the luminescence of their headlights. The dark storming night raged on as the droplets plummeted on to the windshield. Soft thudding creating ambiance and the outward noise interrupting the silence of the moving vehicle. Hoagie sulked in the drivers seat, wallowing in his dejection straining to keep his anger at bay. As he thumped his fingers on the steering wheel, he barely registered the route he was taking. He was on autopilot, as his mind was working on overdrive trying to figure out what was wrong. On the passenger side sat his longtime girlfriend, Abigail Lincoln. She too was lost in her thoughts, huddled far away from her partner, leaning on and looking out the window into the night. Though she was not angry she was hurt and confused, sadden by the fact that she hurt the man of her life. At this moment in time, she could not give him what he wanted. Slowly familiar houses came into view, as they inched closer to their destination. Pulling up into the drive way, he parked and turned off the lights letting the car run.
Abby noticed this and hesitated to grab the door handle, as she did he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"A…are you sure about this? Is this truly what you want? Huh! Are you really leaving me… us…behind!" His voice rose slightly in his anger cracking a little with emotion
She turned quickly, shocked that he would suggest such a thing. "Ho…Hoagie please, Abby didn't say she was leaving you. Please don't think dat, Ab…Abby still wants you babe. Abby just need some time to think." She tried to comfort him
He scoffed, "Right, and yet you haven't shown it. What you haven't said is answer enough, I know when I'm not wanted Abigail, I'm just surprised it took me this long to see it. How stupid I've been to think someone like you could love someone like me." He turned away from her, not allowing her to see the tears that stung his eyes.
"Hogarth stop it now! Now, you know Abby didn't say dat, Abby told you exactly how she was feeling. Can't you just give her some time, there is just so much going on right now and Abby can't think straight."
He exploded, "Oh, so I'm just an annoyance to you am I? Is that what you really think, then fine, I'll go be annoying elsewhere."
She pleaded, "Hoagie, listen… stop putting words in Abby's mouth, you know she didn't say dat."
"But it's what you think, isn't it? Haven't you always felt like that, just like everyone else! Just go Abby and leave me alone, and take this, do what ever you want with it. Pawn it for all I care…!" He spat.
"Stop! Don't do dat!" She tried to grab his hand after he placed the small velvet box into hers. He turned away once again, refusing to let her see his face
"Just go Abigail, you've already made your choice, hopefully you have a better life without me." He sounded broken and hurt
Sitting there silently for what felt like a life time, Abby finally got out of the car, as soon as she did he began to back up and eventually sped away. Nothing she said had gotten through to him. Falling to her knees, not caring about her expensive dress, she cried as the rain poured down upon her face. She clutched the box to her chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Distraught over the potential loss of her lover… As she sat there she didn't notice the arms of her father wrap around her and ushering her inside the house. In a haze she followed not comprehending the words being said to her, all she focused on was the heart retching ache inside her. Her heart was breaking.
'Is this how he felt? Why didn't Abby give him an answer, why did she hurt him so?' She contemplated those thoughts as he mother dried her hair, now sitting on the coach in her parents' living room. Abby looked down and opened the box in her hand with trembling fingers. In her hand she picked up the sapphire, diamond studded princess cut engagement ring, that Hoagie used to proposed to her.
'Abby should have told him… why didn't Abby tell him, would it had made a difference? Abby is still confused about her future, that would have made it even more complicated. Oh what has Abby done?!' She sobbed even harder in her mother's arms
Hoagie flew through town, reaching his humble apartment on the outskirts of the city away from the suburban area. Pulling up on the curb, his eyes became blurry, thinking the rain was coming down harder, he turned the wipers on again. Realizing it wasn't the rain but his own tears making his glasses useless. Raising his frames, he wiped his eyes, shut off the car and trudged up the two floors to his flat. Rummaging with his keys, he finally opened the door and closed it as quickly as he could. Though as soon as he got in, he knew it was a mistake. Everything reminded him of her, this one bedroom apartment they shared together. He couldn't do this… not tonight, deciding on taking a quick shower and a change out of his tux, he rather spend the night at Wally's pad. Doing just that, he changed into his old light blue hoodie from McKlinkon University, brown slacks, black Vans, heading out once more. A short drive deeper into the city he pulled up to Wally's place. He had a spare key, which he was given to check up on the place, whenever Wally was out of town for a conference. Not seeing his jeep on the sidewalk, he figured he'd be alone for the night, which was just fine with him. Not bothering to cut on the lights, he plopped on the sofa, burrowing his face into the cushion. There he let himself come apart.
'Why… why…WHY!? How could I be so stupid!?' he asked punching the cushion beneath him. ' I should have known… why couldn't I see it…? I guy like me, with a woman like her… All these years people have always said it, but I ignored it because she said they didn't matter. They were jealous of what we had. Ha! A fool I've been, to listen to that bullshit!' He screamed 'Sh…she said she'd never leave me… why did she leave me? She lied to me! Jus… just like dad… just like grandma…' He sniffed 'They all said they would be there, but they all left me… alone… as I should be. Who would want a nerdy fatass such as myself? All I do, all I've ever done was make puns and try to act cool. All though out high school and even in college, Abby has always 'said' she cared for me, when the other guys made fun of me. I couldn't take the abuse, but I endured it for her sake, I always put on a act to seem strong… for her. Now what? She's no longer here, and… and my strength is gone… I… I don't know what to do with myself. I'm such a useless fool… No wonder she left me…' He gave a dry laugh, which quickly turned into a sob. There he lay on the couch bawling his eyes out, wondering how he became so depended on her. To let her become his whole world. Again he laughed, this time with a little humor in it, thinking about what Wally would say to him right now.
'Wally'd probably call me a wuss right now, then he'd do something stupid and get himself hurt just to make me laugh. Usually Kuki would be right there next to him to fix him up, all the while listening to my problems and helping cheer me up. Gosh, I really wish they were here right now. I don't want to bother them or Tommy, though I don't think he would be much help anyway.' He thought ' All I can do is sleep, hopefully tomorrow this will be a bit easier to manage…' He scoffed 'Who am I kidding, this shit hurts like hell.' He frowned as he slowly drifted off to a despondent sleep.
A week passed since that agonizingly dreadful night, neither had seen each other. Though it wasn't from lack of trying on Abby's part. She tried calling, which her calls were forwarded straight to voicemail. Even going to their apartment yielded no luck, whenever she went, he was never there. Even staying until late, he never showed up. Many of nights she cried waiting for his return, she even tried calling Wally, but knew both he and Kuki were in Japan attending her cousin's wedding and wouldn't be back until later this week. In the end she ended up staying with her parents in her old bedroom. They didn't mind, but worried about her health and all the stress she was under currently.
Abby splashed water on her face and rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash. It was early, so she hoped she hadn't waken anyone one with her bout in the bathroom.
"Comment va mon bébé ?( How is my baby?)"Looking up in the mirror, Abby sees her mother standing in the doorway. Still dressed in her night gown, with her hair down, but still covering her face. Turning, walking toward her mother she hugs her, laying her head on her shoulder.
She replies, "Je vais bien, mère. ( I'm fine, momma.)"
"Vous êtes sûr ? ( Are you sure?)
Maman va apporter biscuits et soda au gingembre. ( Momma will bring crackers and ginger ale.)"
"Merci maman. ( Thank you, momma.)"
Trucking back to her bedroom, Abby climbed back into her bed. Throughout the night and the mornings were the worse. Often she couldn't keep much food down, with the morning sickness or just not feeling like eating. Although she was tired, the constant interruptions of her sleep kept her up. She indeed was having a rough time, and she was only 2 weeks in, technically 6, but 2 since she found out.
"Te voilà ma chéri. ( Here you are, darling.)
S'il vous plaît prendre soin de vous et le petit. ( Please take care of yourself and the little one.)"
Abby took the refreshments and thanked her mother once again. Nibbling on a cracker, she sat in her bed after removing her blue fuzzy robe and slipper. She preferred to sleep in Hoagie's light blue cloud boxers and her signature blue jersey with the number 5 on it. She sat there thinking about her would be fiancé.
'Abby doesn't know what to do… he just won't talk to her. Maybe she should go check ova at Wally's place, Abby sho he's probably there. Too bad, he has da only key. Abby just don't want da boy to do something stupid, lord knows he has befo. Plus Abby still has to give him an answer. Now that Abby has had some time to think about it, she'd love to marry da fool. Abby was just scared cuz, she just found out about da baby and how she was gonna handle things with her job. Da boy has to know, Abby has insecurities too, not just him. Abby gets afraid just as much as he does, but Abby is just betta at hiding it... Dammit Abby, because of Abby's pride, Hoagie is gone.' She sniffled 'It's all Abby's fault, all Abby had to do was say yes to da boy. It's not like Abby was gon say no…' Tears streamed down her face 'No… not today, Abby isn't gon cry today.' She wiped her eyes with her forearm. 'First Abby is gon get some sleep, then she is gon go make that stubborn man listen to Abby.' Making up her mind she settled down under her comfort and waited for sleep to overtake her.
Hoagie was feeling good, he had no care in the world all he needed was pizza, tv, and booze. Lucky for him, Wally kept the apartment stocked, and since he didn't feel like cooking or leaving he ordered take out food. At the moment he was raging out online playing Overwatch with some Randoms. Urging them to get on the objective, since time was running short. Surprisingly, he wasn't doing too bad, despite his level of intoxication. Sad to say his team wasn't fairing as well as he was, but being a support character all he had to do was heal. However, he had more kills then the attackers, plus gold in healing. As the big red defeat flashed across the screen, Hoagie almost tossed his controller across the room, but seeing as he would have wasted his beer he thought better of it. Instead, he decided to switch out and play the latest God of War game, there he could take out his frustrations on the Gods who put him in this situation.
Taking a swig of he bud platinum, he started hacking and slashing ' This fucking blows, nothing I do is making me feel completely fine. Most of the pain is numb, but I can't stop thinking about her. Fuck! I miss her so freaking much. I don't know why though, she's the one who can't stand me. Fucking good riddance to her, I don't need her… I got everything I need right here.' He thought
' Hmm, maybe I can move in with Wally, until I find my own place. Honestly don't know why him and Kuki aren't living together, probably something to do with her parents. They do seem pretty strict… yeah I'll do that, a bachelor on the prowl!' Downing the rest of his beer, he popped open another and continued his game.
Abby feeling somewhat better than earlier in the day, decided to try her luck going over to Wally's. The sun was high, and blazing hot in the sky though it was still a couple hours before evening. Coming around the corner, she noticed Hoagie's blue pinstriped charger parked in front of the apartment complex.
'Now why didn't Abby, think to come ova here soona?' She berated herself. 'Alright, it's now or neva gurl, you got dis!' She mentally prepared herself.
Parking directly infront of Hoagie, she got out and went straight to where she hoped he would be. Reaching the door she knocked and waited. Receiving no answer she knocked once more, this time a bit louder. Still, no answer… trying the door knob, she noticed it was unlocked. Surprised by this, Abby slowly opened the door, making sure nobody else but Hoagie was there.
"Hello? Hoagie are you here sugah?" She called out.
Looking over the room Abby, noticed the living room was a mess and the kitchen was full of beer bottles. Other than that, the place was as clean as Wally normally kept it. Walking through the kitchen into the living room, there was no sign of Hoagie. The 50in tv was displaying the Playstation Logo as the screen saver, so Abby decided to turn off the tv and console. Continuing deeper into the apartment, she checked the bathroom and master bedroom, which both were empty. Closing the door behind her she went down the hall toward the spare room. It wasn't really a bedroom, but Wally used it as one, having a spare mattress without the frame in the middle of the floor. For the most part it was only used as a storage closet. There lay, Hoagie seemingly passed out in blue boxers and a white tank top, with an half empty bottle in his hand. Abby would have laughed under different circumstances, but instead she cried. Happy to see him, but unsure if he was okay. With her long stride, she went to him and rolled him on his side. As she did this, she began to shake him, wanting to wake him up.
"Hoags… Hoagie wake up! Please babe, talk to Abby." With no luck, just getting a few elicit grunts from his mouth. Picking herself up, she went to the kitchen grabbing a cup of water and towel. Praying he wasn't too far gone, she could still wake him up. Returning to his side, she dunked the towel and started to wring it out onto his face.
Bolting upright while coughing, he let out a string of profanity, "What the fuck… who the fuck… got damn it!" Looking around for his glasses, he noticed he wasn't the only one in the room.
Realizing Hoagie was blind, she spotted his frames on the other side of the bed and retrieved them for him.
"He…here sugah." She placed them on his face.
Straightening his glasses, he let his eyes adjust, though he still couldn't see straight "Ab… Abby.. is that you?" He asked slurring his words.
"Yeah baby, its Abby…Abby was lookin for ya, you know… so we can talk."
"Hmph, what's there to talk about? You… you already rip…ripped out my heart. What more do you want from me?" He asked, swaying slowly
"Sugah please, Abby didn't mean to. Abby… Abby was afraid and needed some time to get her thoughts together."
"Afraid! What is there to be afraid of? Me? Did…did I do something to hurt you? Or is it the thought of being with me you are afraid of?"
"Stop, just stop! Hoags you know you'd neva hurt Abby. How could you think Abby'd be afraid of being with ya? Abby has always been with ya."
"Yeah, out of pity… you're too good for me Abigail… Hell you could be a model, you're hella smart, and the coolest woman I know. Then ya got me, a short, fat, geeky nobody… yeah I may be smart, but nobody cares about that." He pouted
"Hoags, I care about that! That's just some of the many things Abby love about you! You are not short baby, Abby is just tall, you're average height for a man. Also you ain't fat, just barrel chested… you may not be muscular, but Abby prefer her teddy bear ova some big muscle head. True… you are a big ol geek, but you're Abby's geek, with the biggest brain out there. Abby loves all your facts about things nobody else would know, and sometimes Abby even likes your dad jokes." She smirked
"Your… your just saying that… I know you don't mean it."
"If Abby didn't mean it, Abby wouldn't be here right now or Abby wouldn't have stopped hitting you with her hat."
"…I… I guess… but that still doesn't change the fact that you rejected me… you could of just said no and been done with it. Instead you had me looking like a fool, waiting for your answer." He started to get angry again.
"No… no, Abby is sorry, Abby had to get her mind right. Abby realizes that it was wrong to leave you hanging, but Abby did tell you to wait for her reply. Abby's not gon blame ya for jumping to conclusions, but Abby guess she could have explained herself betta. Now don't interrupt Abby, Abby has something to say. Yes, Abby was confused, things were moving too fast for Abby. You know Abby just got a promotion, and is trying to figure out her new role, plus with the baby, and then out of nowhere you propose. It was just too much for Abby to process." She sighed
"I know work can be stressful, but the baby… wait, what baby? Whose baby are you talking about?" Confusion spread across his face
Looking down, she grabs his hand, placing it on her midsection " Yours… you fool"
He sat there for a minute processing what he just heard.
"Ho…Hoagie? Are you…"
He began rubbing her belly "My… my kid? …Huh?" He looked up at her, tears in his eyes.
Looking down with a warm smile, "Yes, love… your child… and your wife, if you still want Abby to be..."
Unexpectantly he pulled her into his lap, holding her close. Not saying a word, he held her silently sobbing. She let him, all the while hugging him back, glad to be in his arms again.
"I thought I was going to lose you… you don't know how deep my mind went. Everything I thought was bad, I couldn't think straight. When you didn't answer me… I don't know… I… I just kinda lost it. You know how I get when I overthink things. This time was considerable worse… I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just drank and kept drinking to numb the pain. It hurt Abs, it was so painful to think you were gone forever and that it was my fault. I felt like why heart was dropped into a woodchipper, going down agonizingly slow, just to make sure that each piece was being shredded. I never want to lose you Abby… you are my whole world." He confessed
"It's okay sugah, Abby is here. Abby won't eva put you through that much suffering again. You know you hurt Abby too, Abby thought you were gone forever. Abby couldn't find, or get a hold of you. When Abby went to the apartment and didn't see you, Abby felt like she would neva see you again. It was unbearable waiting in that apartment for you to return, just for you not to come home. Abby didn't know what to do… Abby stayed with her parents, hoping you would call her or something. Abby was lost without you too Hoags…" She admitted "Abby didn't know you were blaming yourself, or how depressed you've been. Abby is apologies for putting you through this." She runs her hand through his auburn hair
"No… it's not your fault Abs… like you said, I misunderstood… its more mistake for not listening to what you were saying and catastrophizing the whole thing. On top of it all, I made it all about me… instead of recognizing that you were hurting as well. I'm the one that should ask for forgiveness." He rationalized
"Like Abby said, she don't blame ya… Abby knows you get stuck in yo own head sometimes. So its okay… but please don't ignore Abby like that again…okay?"
He nodded, just glad that his girl was back in his arms again.
"Now why don't you get dressed and we can go back to our apartment. I know you probably miss being in a proper bed. Then maybe we can have some fun making up…"
Shocked he started to fumble looking for his clothes. After getting dressed, he picked up his keys, handing it to her. "Hey Abs, we still need to clean up Wally's pad."
"Hmm… well sugah, that can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, we need to make a mess elsewhere." Giving him a kiss, they closed the door and headed home.
Again hope you enjoyed! I'm not dead, just busy. My other stories will be completed... one day...
