Everyone Falls In The City Of Angels
The foyer was bustling with chatter and laughter, the press of milling bodies making the air feel stuffy and a little claustrophobic, but she knew that it would start thinning out soon enough. Rachel nudged her way awkwardly past some elbows, her head still soaring with the swelling musical chorus of the finale, her eyes shining with a dreamy exhilaration that only live theatre could evoke.
She'd been sceptical at first when her dads had suggested coming out here to visit for a few days, reluctant to take the time off school and Glee especially with Regionals coming up, but it was actually proving to be just what she needed right now. It was a clean slate, a welcome break from everything that had been going on at McKinley, a chance to escape the messy aftermath of Finn and their breakup and an invaluable opportunity to get to grips with herself again. Her family always made a fuss over her and while it wasn't New York, the sprawling city was a regular Montmartre of artistic vibrancy and enlightenment compared to Lima.
She clutched the programme tighter in her hand as she weaved her way through the boisterous activity, yet another memento to add to her already extensive collection. A barrage of comment and critique hovered on her lips, words bursting through her rapid thoughts, eager to be spoken and shared with the world, everything that was currently overcrowding her excited mind.
But first, she needed an audience for her dazzling insight.
Coming to a stop, she scanned the crowd impatiently, searching for a familiar head of frizzy brown curls or a flash of that trademark Chanel scarf. Somehow they'd managed to get separated in the exiting crush and Rachel was just on the verge of digging out her phone to speed up the search, when a random glance through the jostling bodies made her snap up in a double take so quickly she almost got a crick in her neck.
A painfully recognizable profile sharpened into focus through the blur of faces, and the surge of adrenaline that shot through her body nearly knocked the breath out of her. She froze on the spot as the unexpected sight promptly killed her post-show buzz, replacing it with something much less tangible – and far more dangerous. She blinked and hastily tried to reel her emotions back under control, wrestling the physical shockwaves into submission. With mixed success. Shock. It was just the shock, that was all.
Still, she couldn't stop her eyes from sweeping greedily over the stolen scene, unconsciously noting every little detail she could observe, new and changed. He was just as smartly dressed as ever, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows with the heat of the theatre and stance relaxed with that same easy self-awareness she had always envied about him. There was a nonchalant smile on his lips that turned into a laugh as he followed the banter of a conversation she couldn't hear. The crowd shifted again, obscuring her vision and she moved despite herself, searching through the gaps and squinting through the low light. Just to make sure, she told herself. Just to make sure I'm not going crazy. She didn't know if she was relieved or dismayed to discover she was indeed not imagining it all.
She couldn't help but notice there was something quietly different about him, a physical and unspoken maturity in his presence that could only come from the time and experience that had passed since their last meeting. Yet there was still no mistaking that smug arrogance in his demeanour that she could sense even from across the room. As she watched, he turned his head in conversation and she lost sight of his face for a moment.
"Okay, you've either seen a celebrity or a ghost."
Rachel jumped at the familiar voice that abruptly broke through her concentration. She turned her attention to her left where her wayward cousin had just materialised at her shoulder and was currently studying her expression with interest.
"If only," she mumbled distractedly.
"Ooh…" That mischievous face lit up with a gleeful anticipation that could only spell trouble as she twirled nimbly on her feet to place herself in front of Rachel. "Then pray tell: what is it exactly that's got you all a-fluster?"
"Nothing," she dismissed quickly. "And I am not flustered."
"Then why are you blushing?"
"Because it's like a hundred degrees in here."
Even as Rachel bit out her retort, she couldn't stop her eyes from darting over her inquisitor's shoulder, involuntarily drawn back to his averted figure. She found herself wishing he would look her way just once more, just long enough for her to see him properly one last time. And the strength of that desire scared her to death. Her throat suddenly felt dry, an electric current humming through her heart which she stubbornly ignored, even as she felt the heat in her cheeks starting to spread to the rest of her body.
"Can we just go?" she snapped irritably, feeling the intense urge to get out of this enclosed space and as far away from the threat of his presence as possible. She made to turn around, but her companion dug her heels in and crossed her arms.
"Nope," she announced deviously. "Not until you spill."
"Erin–"
"Rachel," she countered in an equally firm voice, raising a challenging eyebrow. "Do you really want to play the stubborn game?"
Rachel threw her a mutinous glare, contemplating just how bad it would look if she were to seize her cousin by the knot of her expensive scarf and physically drag her out of the lobby with her. As satisfying as it might feel, causing a public scene wasn't exactly conducive to her wish to avoid attention. She gritted her teeth, hating the words on her tongue, even more that she was forced to surrender them.
"Jesse St. James," she muttered at last.
Erin's eyes widened. "Your ex? You're kidding me. He's here? Where?"
She turned around as she fired out the questions, searching through the crowd expectantly. Rachel sighed, defeated, and reluctantly pointed him out to her as subtly as she could.
Unfortunately, 'subtle' had never been a big concept in Erin's vocabulary.
"Wow," she breathed, making no effort to hide her awed approval as she stared speculatively across the room at the subject of their conversation. "He's gorgeous."
Rachel didn't know if she should be offended by the incredulous note of surprise in her cousin's voice. She glanced away huffily. "And a complete jerk."
"Wouldn't bother me."
Rachel rolled her eyes with a wry smile, all too aware of Erin's priorities when it came to the opposite sex. However, she was entirely unprepared for the spark of jealousy that flared up through her body, twisting tight in the pit of her stomach, at the thought of just who those attentions were currently focused on. She instantly pushed aside the confusing instinct, shoving it away to a dark corner of her mind to be examined at a much later time. Or hopefully never.
"Jeez. Small world, huh?"
"If it got any smaller it could fit in a shoebox," she groaned, yanking a tense hand through her hair. "I mean, what are the chances? Seriously? Out of the whole damn city, out of all the millions of people in L.A, what are the odds he would be here in this theatre, at this show, tonight of all nights?"
Erin shrugged. "Fate?"
Rachel shot her a withering scowl that was downright dangerous.
"Okay, scratch that," she amended hastily. She glanced across the floor again, a thoughtful expression on her features. "Actually, if he's at UCLA, their campus is quite near here."
Rachel grimaced. "Perfect."
"So are you going to go over?"
She started at the abrupt question, before quickly arranging her features into a blank mask of indifference. "No. Why would I?"
"Well, for a start you can't take your eyes off him."
Rachel instantly snapped her gaze away like a guilty child, angry with herself for getting caught out. "Well…I was just surprised, that's all." At Erin's sceptical look and smug smile, she quickly elaborated, at pains to point out just how far off the mark she was. "It wouldn't matter anyway; I'm not interested in exploring old flames or dead end distractions anymore. I'm done with romantic entanglements, remember?"
"Who said anything about romance?" A sly smile crept across Erin's lips. "There's no reason you can't have fun."
Rachel's back stiffened, her voice sharp with unnamed tension. "Not if he was the last guy on Earth."
"Come on, you're not even a little curious?"
"No," she replied flatly, clenching her jaw so tight it was almost hard to get the word out.
Erin eyed her appraisingly for a moment, a mischievous quirk to her mouth, before she turned away with a shrug. "Have it your way. But just so you know: if you don't go over there – I will."
Rachel narrowed her eyes, a swell of panic clawing inside her ribs. "You wouldn't."
"Watch me."
"Alright," she hissed, clamping onto Erin's arm with white knuckles before she could slip off into the crowd. If her grip was painful, the other girl didn't show it as she simply turned back around with a satisfied smirk.
Sparing her cousin a quick glower, her eyes flickered across the room to him again and she saw that he had moved off from his group and was currently standing at the bar, facing away from them. Relief and dread knotted inside her chest: thankful that at least she didn't have to confront him in front of his friends; wishing that she didn't have to confront him at all. Steeling every nerve in her body, she lifted her head and calculated out a path through the press of people.
"I'll never forgive you for this," she muttered darkly as she strode off, the sullen threat only causing Erin to grin wider and give her an encouraging poke in the back.
Rachel concentrated on maintaining a calm breathing rhythm as she crossed the floor, contemplating just how in the world she was supposed to approach this. It had been so long and they had parted so badly. Slapping him right across that smug face of his and storming off dramatically might accurately sum up her feelings but it didn't feel like the best way to give off the mature and dignified impression she was aiming for. She decided maybe aloof civility was the better way to go. Yeah, she could be civil with this. Perhaps.
She kept her eyes on him as she drew closer, but he didn't make any move to turn around or walk away. Rachel felt her heart thrumming loudly in anticipation, burning uncomfortably hot inside her chest, and she made a concerted effort to unclench her hands. He was leaning casually against the bar counter, poised with a natural grace she remembered well. The lean lines of his body were angled to devastating effect, so aptly demonstrating that same smooth manner that she was sure had been perfected a long time ago. Certainly long before she had known him. Jesse was always playing for an audience, much in the same way she was, and he knew how to make his presence felt.
Everything in his posture was carefully controlled, ever confident and unhurried despite the activity and noise around them. Bumping into him 'accidently' seemed like a pathetically uninspired tactic, but she didn't have a whole lot of options or time to think about it, and so she slipped up to the bar quietly, not too close but close enough to be believable. Keeping her eyes firmly fixed in front of her, she calmly waited for the bartender to walk back to their end.
"I was wondering how long you were going to stare at me before finally coming over."
The low, melodic notes of his voice caught her off guard almost more than the actual words. He spoke idly but she could still hear the knowing tease that ran under his voice, and it was suddenly painfully evident that time had done nothing to lessen the lethal charm of those dulcet tones. She stiffened defensively, firmly suppressing the dangerous flutter in her stomach, and turned her head sharply towards the source of address.
He hadn't even looked up; nothing had changed in his outward appearance that acknowledged her presence at all. Nothing except for the almost invisible smile that ghosted over his lips, tilting the corners of his mouth in some private humour as he absently studied the bottle of mineral water that he toyed between his fingers.
Rachel blinked, curiosity getting the better of her embarrassment. "You knew I was here?"
The smile deepened for a moment before he pushed away from the counter, turning around to catch her gaze in silent answer. She knew she shouldn't really have been surprised; they'd always had an almost sixth sense when it came to each other. The power of that enduring connection was a little unnerving and she quickly decided not to dwell on it too much. She scoffed under her breath and glanced away.
"Before you go getting any ideas, let me just assure you that this is entirely an unhappy coincidence." She signalled to the bartender impatiently, without much success. The cool pitch in her tone was unwavering as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I didn't come here looking for you."
Jesse quirked an amused eyebrow and brought the drink to his lips.
"I'm here visiting family."
"I know. Your dad's brother and his kids."
She looked over, confusion furrowing her brow and wary suspicion in her eyes as she regarded him. "How did you–"
"Rachel," he interrupted in a bored voice. "Unlike some of your other boyfriends, I was actually capable of listening and retaining information for longer than the length of a football game."
She rolled her eyes, impressed despite herself that he had actually remembered. She did dimly recall telling him about her family ties out here; back when she had foolishly dared to hope they might still have a future together. She had even thought of staying with them when she came out to visit him…Shaking her head to dispel the painful memory, she quickly changed the subject to safer territory.
"So are you here with people?"
They both knew she already knew the answer, but he indulged her. He glanced back over his shoulder, scanning out the familiar faces, quickly confirming that they didn't seem to be missing his presence just yet.
"Just some classmates."
"Let me guess: homework assignment?" she asked innocently, unable to help the playful smile that was edging across her lips.
He chuckled softly. "Not exactly." She watched as that familiar glint of analysis sparked behind his dark eyes, just as captivating as she remembered. "Though if you ask me, the director tonight could have done with a refresher course in the basics of staging and blocking at points," he added in an afterthought.
"I know what you mean," she said, agreeing before she could stop herself. "The choreographer did an amazing job with the musical numbers but some of the group scenes felt a little untidy. Though I have to say, their scenes changes were very tight."
"One of the advantages of working with a minimalist set."
"Yeah, they actually used it really effectively. I think I prefer that sometimes, doesn't draw your eye away from the action as much with overcrowded flashy gimmicks."
"True. Of course the theatre always demands a certain amount of awe and spectacle, but a truly gifted actor should be able to hold an audience's attention alone on an empty stage."
She raised an eyebrow, unable to shake the feeling that he was having some sly fun at her expense but at a loss for how to prove it. It had been a long time since she'd last tried to read him. She was out of practice. "Is that your professional opinion?"
He only smiled, easy and flawless. "Just experience."
She made a show of rolling her eyes but it wasn't without a grudging humour. "So tell me, as a practising student of the arts, I suppose you think you could have done better?"
"I certainly would have had that opening scene in the second act go a lot smoother."
"Yeah, I noticed that too." A frown knitted her brow in thoughtful creases as she replayed the scene in her memory. "The sudden change in timelines seemed to come across a bit forced; they rushed it I think. The switch felt a little jarring."
He nodded absently, his gaze moving over her shoulder, the corners of his lips tugging in something like amusement. "Speaking of untimely exits, it appears as if your cousin has done a runner."
Rachel instantly wheeled around, eyes darting through the thinning crowd in horror. No way. She wouldn't. "Shit," she cursed under her breath, barely aware of his presence anymore as panic overtook her system. "She's my ride home!"
Jesse smirked behind her back. "Sucks for you."
Rachel ignored the smug, parting remark, too preoccupied to even glance around as she felt him wander off to rejoin his friends. She had bigger problems right now. Pushing her way back through the lobby, she quickly scanned the room in growing anger and alarm. After confirming that her evening companion really wasn't anywhere to be found in the emptying theatre, she whipped out her cell phone.
"Howdy."
Rachel scowled as Erin finally picked up, answering in a sing-song voice that did nothing to appease her seething temper. She could practically hear the wicked smile in her cousin's tone.
"What exactly do you think you're playing at?" she demanded in a deadly hiss, not bothering with any preamble and doing everything she could to hang on to the last shred of her restraint.
"I'm doing you a favour."
"Like hell you are!"
Apparently she'd snapped louder than she intended, drawing some strange looks in her direction from the surrounding crowd. With great effort, she brought her volume under control and turned away.
"Listen, you get your ass back here right now before you either get arrested for taking a call while driving, or I have Claudia ground you from here to eternity for ditching me in the middle of a foreign city."
"Rachel, you're in Westwood. Hardly the seediest part of town."
"Whatever. I still can't believe you just took off like that! How am I supposed to get back now?"
"Oh come on, Rach. It's the perfect excuse. He's hardly going to leave you stranded is he?"
Rachel almost laughed in bitter scorn. She wouldn't put it past Jesse. He'd had no qualms about abandoning her before.
"Just promise to tell me all the sordid details later, and don't you dare leave out any of the good stuff – I want to hear everything. You know you're dying to get him alone again."
"I am not!"
"Rachel, I saw the way you were looking at him. I'm sorry but you don't look at someone like that if you harbour nothing but hate and distain for them. And even if you do – embrace it. Angry sex is even better."
"Erin!"
"Hey, I'm just saying: keep your options open."
"I am not asking him for a ride," she ground out through clenched teeth. "You come back here right now. I'm not even close to kidding."
"You can thank me later. And remember, you owe me details. Have fun."
She could swear Erin was laughing as she hung up. Several seconds passed in stunned disbelief as Rachel simply stared at her phone. Erin had just left her in the middle of L.A, at the dubious mercy of her obnoxious ex boyfriend, and she had the nerve to try and demand details! A furious scowl settled over her features. The only thing that girl was owed was a smack on the head. And she couldn't be more wrong. She was not going to jump Jesse the moment they were alone. She didn't even want to look at him again if she could help it, and she certainly wasn't begging him for a lift back to civilisation.
"Contemplating all the ways to maim and murder your dear cousin?"
She jerked up, roused from her silent fuming, only to find Jesse eyeing her with obvious amusement as he loitered just inside the theatre doors. He had donned his jacket in preparation to leave and stood with one hand resting on the brass bar of the glass door, as if waiting for something.
"She'll never even see it coming," Rachel grumbled, glancing away in frustration. "She's a total nightmare. I can't believe she did this."
"I don't know. She's certainly got a devious streak." Jesse smirked, taking way too much pleasure in this for her liking. "I admire her style."
"You would," she muttered.
His lips twitched in silent laughter but he wisely didn't comment, instead only raising an expectant eyebrow as he regarded her stubborn stance.
"Are you coming or not?"
She caught his gaze sharply, surprise and irritation fighting for dominance in her expression. This was beginning to feel suspiciously like a whole big conspiracy. Rachel was in no mood to be manipulated any further and she certainly didn't appreciate the smug assumption in his tone.
"I'll get a cab, thank you," she replied stiffly.
"This time on a Saturday night, chances are you'll be waiting a while," he pointed out. "And then they'll charge you through the roof anyway. If I recall correctly, your cousins are a good hour away. But you'll have to remind me of the exact address."
Rachel crossed her arms angrily. "I'm not going anywhere with you. What about your friends anyway?"
Jesse glanced over to the chatting group across the foyer, unconcerned. It would be easy enough to catch up with them later, if he could be bothered to put up with the questions that is.
He shrugged. "They can take care of themselves."
"So can I," she retorted sulkily.
"Not in dispute." A coy smile slipped over his lips. "I just know how much you loathe having to wait."
Rachel narrowed her eyes in scrutiny, hesitating, battling against her own better judgement. "Why are you doing this?"
He gave her a curious look. "Because I'm a gentleman," he replied smoothly, as if the answer were obvious.
Rachel arched her brows in incredulity. Jesse held her glare calmly, but she could tell he was fighting to keep the smirk off his lips. I'm going to regret this, she thought with despair. But god help her, he was right. She really didn't want to hang about here alone for ages and wait for a cab which she probably didn't have enough cash on her to cover anyway. For once, Jesse actually seemed like the lesser of two evils. She was going to have to take her chances.
She glowered, making her doubtful feelings on the matter very clear, before reluctantly stepping forward. Jesse smiled but didn't say a word, pushing the door open and letting her stride out ahead of him. Rachel cursed Erin every single step of the way as she silently followed him to his car.
The silence didn't hold out long once they were actually on the road. Rachel's natural curiosity got the better of her and she soon found herself engaged deep in seemingly endless conversation that flowed far more easily than it logically should have. He answered her stream of questions with an indulgent smile and she was intrigued despite herself to hear about his life out here. They talked of UCLA, his classes, theatre, the merits and disadvantages of Los Angeles over New York, and eventually the conversation swung back to Lima and McKinley.
Rachel felt strangely guilty sharing stories of the Glee Club with the same person who had done everything in his power to crush them only a year ago. Yet in the inviting darkness of his sleek car, lulled by the comforting rumble of the engine and warm glow of the dashboard, it was all too easy to succumb to the deceptive sense of intimacy. And so she told him of the drama and the laughs, the fights and the controversy. As she told him of Kurt's ordeal and subsequent transfer out of McKinley and New Directions, a grim look passed over his face.
"Can't say I'm surprised. Your school hasn't exactly got a reputation as a beacon of enlightenment when it comes to sexual education or student rights."
Rachel frowned at his tone of condescension but couldn't disagree with the words. "As opposed to your school, you mean?" she challenged.
He glanced over at her. "Believe it or not, Carmel actually had a very strict anti-bullying policy."
Rachel couldn't hide her scepticism. She narrowed her eyes. "So how exactly did Vocal Adrenaline get away with all the stunts they pulled?"
There was an almost imperceptible pause before he spoke again. "VA has always operated by a different set of rules," he answered flatly, eyes fixed firmly on the road once more. "We had our own code of conduct."
"I remember."
Jesse's fingers tensed briefly on the steering wheel at the softly muttered words, but Rachel had turned her gaze out the window. Neither spoke for a long moment, the quiet that stretched between them tinged with weary sadness rather than cold hostility.
"How is Kurt coping?" he asked gently, breaking the silence at last.
Rachel turned around, surprised by the genuine note of sincerity in his voice. She studied his profile in the darkness as she answered.
"A lot better now he's at Dalton Academy. Actually, I think he's pretty happy." She smiled faintly to herself. "He's met someone. A guy called Blaine. They have a kind of 'When Harry Met Sally' thing going on."
Jesse laughed at that and Rachel grinned, feeling a warmth stir in her stomach at the musical sound, before she quickly glanced away almost shyly. She fiddled with her seatbelt, struggling to retain a grip on her rebelling emotions. "I don't know if they're ever going to get their act together but I hope it works out for them. Everyone deserves someone."
The city sped past around them, always so bright and busy. The tangled web of roads and streets seemed like a labyrinth to Rachel, but Jesse was unfazed as he deftly weaved a path out of the confusion, one that she could only hope was actually taking her home. It was still surprisingly easy to be with him and she didn't even register the time passing, unable to track their progress through the unfamiliar surroundings even if she had tried. In spite of everything, it seemed that even now they could never run out of things to talk about.
When she described their win at Sectionals, she thought she glimpsed a knowing smile shadow his mouth for a moment, though in the dim light of the night she could just have been imagining it. She found herself wondering if he still kept up with his old team, if he knew yet if it was Vocal Adrenaline they would be facing off with again in the upcoming Regionals.
She hadn't meant to tell him about her break up – she really hadn't – but she got caught up in describing her new-found admiration for independent artists, expounding the virtues of self-discovery, and by the time she realised the implications of her little speech, it was too late to back track. Quashing the flurry of panic, she quickly shrugged it off. It wasn't like it mattered; it wasn't like anything was going to happen.
"So I've decided to fly solo for a while, concentrate completely on my ambitions and future career. After all, some of my idols did their best work when faced with adversities and lonely struggles. Solitude is good for the soul sometimes."
Jesse smiled privately as he slid the car to a stop, pulling up along a familiar street. Rachel paused, cutting off her own monologue, as she felt the engine fall silent. She blinked and peered through the window, taking a moment to recognise the area. She hadn't even noticed them arrive.
"I think standing on your own, being independent, sounds like a good plan."
She glanced over as he spoke, trying to read his expression in the darkness. That secretive smile was still playing at the edge of his lips, and she was suddenly very aware of their close proximity; that they were very much alone together in the quiet of his parked car. Her heart kicked up an uneven rhythm in her chest. She should really get out now.
"Yeah, I'm going to embrace being single; take the opportunity to reach my full potential."
She didn't know why she was still talking, why she couldn't break away from his gaze, why the dark reflection of his piercing eyes made her skin prickle with electricity. Subtle amusement lined his mouth, something almost affectionate and deeply dangerous softening the timbre of his voice.
"A very worthy cause."
Get out of the car.
In her mind she was. In her mind's eye she was leaping out of the vehicle and running for the safety of her uncle's house. In reality she couldn't move, pinned down in her seat – trapped in a gravity pull she couldn't escape.
"And I've decided I don't care for Valentine's Day either," she rambled on distractedly, throwing out words in a futile attempt to keep a distance between their faces that were drawing closer and closer together against her conscious permission.
The smirk widened. "I never liked the holiday myself."
His fingers traced the hairline at her temple, his thumb skimming over her cheekbone so lightly it felt like the whisper of a ghost. Air was suddenly hard to come by.
"I–I think some…alone time will be good for me…help me get things in perspective." She barely even registered what she was saying anymore; the dialogue of their bodies refusing to run in sync with the words in their mouths. She frowned softly as her eyes struggled to stay open. "Relationships are just distracting, more trouble than they're worth."
"Couldn't agree more," he murmured silkily against her lips. His breath was warm on her skin, igniting her blood and taunting her memory with an echo of a fever she had never quite recovered from. "Commitments can get so…messy."
She didn't know who closed the last inch, who fell first, or if gravity simply overwhelmed them both at the same time. His hand wound into her hair, gripping firmly as the kiss deepened with a mutual surge of force and demand. Rachel's fingers seized in the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, drinking in the elusive taste of fire that she had been seeking and fighting against for so long. She could feel the pressure of the seatbelt cutting into her shoulder in restraint, the only thing keeping her from climbing into his lap and testing just how far back these expensive seats could tilt.
Definitely fireworks, she thought dazedly. How could she have forgotten what this felt like: the dizzying high of cosmic chemistry. Forget fireworks; it was like being caught in a meteor shower, comets colliding through space, almost too blinding to look at. Finn was right – nothing else compared to it.
And it was frightening as hell.
Finally, they drew back from each other, locking eyes once more, each trying to read the other in the rare moment of unguarded contact. His fingertips were still stroking softly through her hair and Rachel stubbornly fought the urge to close her eyes and lean into the comfort of his touch.
"Doesn't mean I forgive you," she said at last, thankful that her voice didn't sound as breathless as she felt.
A familiar smile crossed his lips.
"I know."
Her gaze searched his and he held it unflinchingly, both lingering in the moment for a few more stolen seconds, until Jesse slowly pulled back and Rachel dutifully released his shirt. She immediately dropped her gaze and unbuckled her seatbelt, preparing to get out of the car. Just a few minutes too late.
"Goodnight, Rachel."
She glanced up and met his eyes one last time. She hesitated, the looming weight of all their unspoken words pressing down on her almost crushingly for a moment, before she firmly shook it off and found her voice.
"Goodnight."
She climbed out of the car without a look back, turning around only when she heard the engine growl into life once more. She watched in silence from the sidewalk as his car pulled away into the road, melting into the night again, not sure if she had just left behind another piece of her heart.
Goodnight but not a goodbye. It was never a goodbye.
It didn't mean anything. That was what she had tried to tell herself. But that was a lie. A kiss would never not mean anything between them; nothing was ever that clear-cut when it came to Jesse. Their exchanges were always loaded with meaning, secret dialogue and whispered promises; every glance, every brush, every word. The trouble lay in interpreting it all. Rachel had tried before and it only ever gave her a migraine headache. The lie could grant temporary freedom and comfort, but it always came back to haunt them.
Rachel groaned to herself. How could he do that? How could he slip so easily past all her reservations and defences to take just exactly what he wanted? And why did she give it so willingly? With a tired sigh, she turned back towards the house, her mind in turmoil. She couldn't speak to anyone back home, they could never know about this unexpected rendezvous. She was loathed to talk to Erin after everything she'd pulled tonight, heaven knew her traitorous cousin didn't deserve the gossip, but Rachel didn't think she would be able to make it through the night without talking this out with someone.
His kiss still burned on her tongue, sending shivers through her body. She didn't know when their paths would cross again, or in what circumstances; all she knew was that their stories were a long way from over.
~o~
AN I figured it was about time Rachel went to Jesse rather than the other way around! Also, I've grown strangely fond of Erin! I might bring her back in another story, I'm not sure. We'll see. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. As always, I love to hear what you think :)
