A/N: Oh, God, pray for me...
LJ stood in front of a projector screen, dressed in military clothes. "Ladies, gentlemen, felines... We all know why we're here, right?" he asked.
Sitting before him were Zofia, Kimberly, Gaz, Dib, Nergal Jr, Gordon, Waffle, Mr. Blik, Akito, Estelle, and Vincent.
"Something about geckos, right?" Waffle asked.
LJ sighed. "No-no-no!" he replied. "We're gonna be taking on a super-huge mission: the Jade Wilson project!"
"Oh... I knew that." Waffle replied.
"Idiot." Mr. Blik muttered.
"We're going to be heading out in a few hours, so we have plenty of time to prepare beforehand," LJ remarked. "Any questions? Perhaps any related to the mission?"
"Why are we doing this?" Gaz soon asked.
"Because my parents couldn't. Plus, when adventure calls, it's difficult to ignore." LJ replied.
"Hmm..." Gaz put her hand down with a small frown.
"Anything else?" Zofia asked the others.
"Nobody?" LJ asked.
"What if we don't wanna do this?" Gaz then asked.
"If so, you're free to leave," LJ replied. "Although, some of you are crucial to the success of this mission."
"Hmm..." Gaz replied before shrugging about doing this type of adventure. "I guess it could be worse."
"Yeah, we could be choking to death in space!" Mr. Blik responded.
"I know a lot about space adventures," Dib said. "My worst enemy is an alien."
"And yet you have a crush on-" Nergal Jr spoke up.
"DON'T SAY IT!" Dib glared.
"...Mandy." Nergal Jr smirked.
"Ooh, shocker." Mr. Blik commented sarcastically.
Dib crossed his arms with a grumble.
"No further questions? ...Good! Now, let's get this party started!" Zofia told the others.
So LJ started up the teleportation unit and beamed them all to Jump City. They soon followed after as they were more or less forced to go there.
"Was this Drell's idea?" Akito commented. "He always sends us places like he sent our parents."
"Really? Zo and I mostly just decide for ourselves." LJ replied.
"Maybe he's making you do it like manipulation?" Akito replied.
"Nah, we're too clever for that," LJ replied. "Where's the faith, guys?"
"Look, let's just get this over with," Vincent said. "I just hope my darling Jenny won't be victimized into such a fate like this."
"Cool your jets, Vince!" LJ replied. "She's not involved, pinkie-swear!"
The others nodded and they all soon went to Jump City as it seemed to be a happy and peaceful day so far.
Suddenly, there were loud, booming footsteps heard, causing the citizens to look upward. A balloon was flying high in the sky until the being soon popped it.
"Who's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?" Zofia commented, unable to resist making that joke.
"Keep on your guard, guys," LJ advised. "Who knows what this jerk might be?"
"Looks like a giant balloon to me." Gaz commented.
It was true-the gigantic footsteps were being caused by a giant balloon-man.
"I wonder if we can find a giant thumbtack..." LJ pondered.
"What is this, the Powerpuff Girls episode 'Insect Inside'?" Zofia smirked.
"I wish," LJ remarked. "Then we could burst this blowhard's bubble."
The balloon man roared which scared away the citizens of Jump City. "Wakey-wakey, it is I, The Inflated Destroyer!" he then called out as he stomped through the city. "Balloon Man!"
"More like the overblown windbag," Mr. Blik snorted. "Time to put a pin in this!"
"I think he needs a scratch..." Waffle smirked. "Maybe a CAT Scratch!"
"Aye, laddies," Gordon agreed. "Let's do it!"
"ATTACK!" Dib called out.
Gaz soon walked over with a push pin to pop the inflatable villain.
"Hi, I'm Al Harrington, President and CEO of Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse!" A random man soon appeared. "Thanks to a shipping error I am now overstocked on wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men, and I am passing the savings on to you!"
Mr. Blik lifted Gordon and Waffle up, then Waffle used his ears to fly higher, as he threw Gordon, who unsheathed his lucky claw.
"TAKE THIS, YE FOUL BEASTIE!" he yelled, slashing wildly at Balloon Man.
"Look, guys, is it SO hard to believe that we're in control of our own decisions?" LJ asked. "Maybe Drell chooses your missions for you, but we chose to take this mission ourselves!"
"I love it when people talk about me behind my back." Drell smirked as he was shown to be leaning against a building.
LJ just let out a frustrated grunt. "What happened to the days when cousins could actually TRUST one another...?" he grumbled.
"Hello there, kids," Drell replied. "Fancy seeing you here, especially since your parents went to Tokyo with the original Teen Titans."
"Hm... Hey, Mr. Drell," LJ replied. "Kinda in the middle of a situation here..."
"Yeah, I can see that," Drell replied. "I'm just here to watch your progress."
"Can I wrestle you afterwards?" Akito smirked.
"Eh, sure, I'm in a good mood." Drell shrugged.
"Aaaanyways..." LJ replied, "Surprised you decided to actually monitor one of our missions in person, even if I chose to take on this one."
"Smile!" Drell told them as he sat down in a lawn chair and had his own bucket of popcorn.
The police officers were even trying to shoot Balloon Man before looking over to the group who came to stop the inflatable villain.
"Och... He's a tough one, he is," Gordon panted. "But we're tougher!"
"You kids should play somewhere else..." One of the cops said, sounding like Don Knotts.
"We're no kids; we're some of the best there is!" LJ protested.
The police officers looked to each other as Balloon Man stomped around Jump City.
"Looks like we might hafta refine our strategy..." LJ pondered. "Time for plan B: giant thumbtack plan!"
Gaz soon yelled out a battle cry as she ran with a giant thumbtack.
"...Where did you get that?" LJ asked her.
"The same place Blossom got that giant jar," Gaz replied. "Episode 2, Season 1."
"Works for me-owth," LJ shrugged. "Time to burst his bubble!"
They soon moved out together to take down this Balloon Man.
"This is gonna be good..." Drell said to himself before looking behind him to see a quintet of 'superheros' and I use both super and heroes VERY loosely. "Oh, God... Not them..."
"Now, everyone! Time to put an end to inflation!" LJ vowed. "GIANT THUMBTACK DOOMSTRIKE!"
"I hate to prick your balloon, guys, but you got company." Drell told them.
"Ugh... What now?" LJ grumbled.
Even Balloon Man looked over. Soon, the quintet appeared, using their superpowers to save Jump City.
"Titans, GO!" Robin called out.
"Back to it, everyone!" LJ ordered. "We got a balloon to burst!"
"You kids look like you could use some help." Robin commented.
"We are not kids," Zofia replied. "In fact, with our maturity, we could be older than you."
"Yeah, so ain't you got a dandelion to guard somewhere?" LJ asked. "Maybe we could build a crossbow..."
"Or just pull one out from hammer space." Zofia replied.
"Good idea!" LJ replied, pulling out a giant crossbow.
"We do not like the giant crossbow." Starfire said.
"Yeah, that looks super uncomfortable." Raven added.
"Well, it isn't for you!" LJ remarked. "It's to burst that overblown buffoon!"
"It isn't always about you guys!" Gaz added. "Okay, LJ, aim higher!"
"Gotcha, G-Major!" LJ nodded as he angled the crossbow higher.
"A little to the right... More... Okay, shoot!" Gaz told him.
LJ aimed...and shot the thumbtack at Balloon Man. The thumbtack soon stuck to the Balloon Man. Balloon Man glared, but he soon began to deflate upon the impact.
"Yeah, direct hit!" LJ cheered.
"Who wants a balloon animal?!" Balloon Man glared as he blew up different balloons to toss some living balloon animals right at them.
"No distractions!" LJ ordered.
Zofia punched away the balloon animals with a death glare.
"Good move, sis!" LJ replied. "Another tack oughta do the job!"
"I know a Tak." Dib commented.
"Not funny!" Gaz glared at her brother's lame joke.
"If I wasn't so focused, I'd come down and slap you in the head for that!" LJ shouted. "Boys, time for the team attack again!"
"Do you think we're ready?" Waffle asked LJ.
"I know you're ready!" LJ replied. "Now go for it!"
"All right, let's go then!" Waffle nodded to him.
"Right then, laddies!" Gordon replied. "Triple strike attack!"
"Get into position!" Mr. Blik told his brothers.
"Right!" Gordon and Waffle nodded as they got into position.
Balloon Man soon came over to the cat brothers with a growl as he caught a bank vault in one of his balloons.
"Alright, guys: NOW!" Mr. Blik shouted as he hoisted Waffle over his head.
Waffle twisted his body up and whirled into the air, grabbing Gordon and throwing him at Balloon Man. Gordon cried out as he unsheathed his claw and lunged at Balloon Man. Balloon Man tried to kick the cats away as Gordon dug his claws into his latex substance.
"BANZAI!" Gordon shouted as he tore another hole in his body.
Balloon Man glared as he tried to shake Gordon off of him. Mr. Blik and Waffle soon came after Gordon. Starfire giggled and hugged the balloon animals that looked like kittens so tight that they kept popping.
"TRIPLE CLAW-POWER!" The brothers yelled as they dug their claws into Balloon Man.
"C-C-C-Combo Breaker!" Zofia called out while watching the cat brothers in action.
Balloon Man tried to get them off, but he was getting smaller and smaller due to their sharp claws.
"Yeah, they're doing it!" LJ whooped. "The plan is working!"
Mr. Blik's claws seemed to slide down to Balloon Man's backside which let out a lot of air which made everyone look over as it looked like he was passing gas.
Beast Boy laughed immaturely to this. "He farted~"
"Oh, Christ. Lowbrow humor..." Mr. Blik groused. "Somebody shut him up!"
Raven began to snicker before the other Teen Titans began to laugh.
"You guys are awfully immature for the Justice League." Balloon Man scoffed to them.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cyborg glared. "Do we look like The Justice League to you?"
"I don't know," Balloon Man shrugged. "I just thought maybe you were the lesser known members."
"Please! The Justice League has more class, not to mention brains!" LJ snapped. "Like they'd deploy THESE losers!"
"Man, we ain't no Justice League." Cyborg and Beast Boy muttered.
"I recognize them now... They are the Guardians of the Galaxy!" Balloon Man replied.
"Yeaaaaah... No." Drell said as he sat in the background.
"Yeah, that's a different superhero universe." Raven dryly commented.
"I guess all that helium left you without room for a brain!" Mr. Blik shouted.
"All right, all right, then who are you?" Balloon Man asked as he was out of ideas.
"Aw, jeez..." LJ sighed.
"Yo, guys! This guy don't know who we is." Beast Boy smirked.
"Bad grammar hurts my brain." Zofia complained.
"Same... But get ready to finish this schmuck off anyway..." Kimberly grunted.
"Then I think it's time we tell him." Cyborg smirked as he took out a cassette tape.
"NO!" Drell begged as the Teen Titans Go theme song began to play.
"We gotta ignore it, and power through!" LJ shouted. "We're almost there... I know we can do it... 'Cuz I believe in all of you guys!"
Balloon Man just looked very confused.
"I'm starting to think you guys will have better luck with Rick Riker AKA Dragonfly." Drell said as he took out a photograph of the star of the parody movie from 2008 known as Superhero Movie which parodied Spider-Man.
"No... We can DO THIS!" LJ yelled. "Everyone... I'm going to grant you powers to help block out that assault on our ears AND devastate this villain! TOMO-KAPATAURI, ZEN-OH-MATSUGI!" he chanted, as he and the others were briefly surrounded by a glowing light.
"Ooh, now you've done it Bat-Mite Jr." Drell muttered.
"Now Kimberly has rainbow powers, Dib is a technomancer, Gaz is able to reap souls, Waffle can fly, Blik is fast, and Gordon is strong!" LJ explained. "Now we all gotta join in. Even you, Nergal Jr! Can't do it without all my friends!"
"Friends...?" Nergal Jr gave a small smile like that made his day.
"Yeah, amigos, buddies, chums, pals, that sorta thing!" LJ replied.
"Amazing..." Nergal Jr replied.
"I have rainbow powers..." Kimberly smiled.
"Think of yourself as a rainbow-bender. "LJ told her.
"That sounds amazing!" Kimberly beamed.
"It IS!" LJ replied. "You can use them like ropes!"
"Hmm..." Kimberly replied before she soon tried to do that as an experiment. Rainbow energy shot from her hands and coiled around a lamp post like snakes. Kimberly giggled as this was pretty fun.
Gaz couldn't help but shudder from the colorful and cheerfulness that came with Kimberly's demeanor.
"Take good care of her, lad." Gordon told LJ about Kimberly.
"You got my word, dude," LJ replied honestly. "Now... I think windbag here is running out of hot air!"
"Right! Let's get him then!" Kimberly replied.
"Stand back," Robin told the others. "Official Teen Titans business."
"What're you gonna do, sing a song while Balloon Man destroys Jump City and you sing about how 'awesome' you guys are?" Gaz deadpanned.
"Forget these idiots!" Dib snapped. "Let's just get in there and kick that guy's balloon butt already!"
The Teen Titans continued to sing while the others handled Balloon Man as he tried to destroy Jump City.
"I'll give you guys this, you're more interesting competition." Balloon Man said to the others.
"Thanks... We aim to please..." LJ panted. "It helps that my friends and I all have functional brains..."
Eventually, the Justice League flew by.
"Does this mean we'll see our parents counterparts since they know Batman and Superman?" Zofia whispered to her brother once she saw the older heroes in the sky.
"Nah. If I know them, they'll show up themselves." LJ replied.
Zofia nodded as they continued to do what they could to Balloon Man. Superman, Green Lantern, and Wonder Woman soon appeared to take care of Balloon Man as the Teen Titans were still singing nonsense that no one but themselves cared about.
"And people badmouth The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." Dib commented about these Teen Titans.
"Actually, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was actually pretty fun and memorable." LJ replied.
Balloon Man was soon defeated and deflated down into what looked like a plush toy. The Teen Titans pointed to him in victory like they defeated him, but of course, they didn't.
"Sorry, Justice League, you're too late," Robin said before kicking Balloon Man off the roof. "Our song was so sick, it took down Balloon Man!"
"Sure it did." Wonder Woman replied.
"We took him down!" Dib interjected. "You losers couldn't catch a cold with a fishing net!"
"No need to be jealous, not everyone can be as amazing as we are." Robin smiled.
"Oh, shut up, you arrogant idiot," Dib snapped, smashing Robin's head in. "You make Zim look humble by comparison..."
"This was nice, but we gotta get back to Batman's movie premiere." Green Lantern said.
"Hey, um... Guys?" LJ asked. "Maybe we could come with? We DID beat Balloon Man..."
"You guys? Sure, you did do something useful." Superman replied.
"Alright!" LJ whooped as they got aboard.
"Ah... It's always been my dream to have my own movie." Robin smiled hopefully.
"Well, it is important to have dreams, I guess." Superman smiled nervously.
"But some dreams will just never come true!" Dib shrugged.
"What do you mean by that?" Raven asked.
"Well, you know, they only make movies about real heroes..." Wonder Woman told her.
"I am a real hero! I even have my own superhero team!" Robin replied.
"Yeah, but all you do is act like immature, lazy glory-hogs." Nergal Jr added.
"Yeah, and not in a charming way." Kimberly crossed her arms, showing a rare sign of anger.
"Point is, you guys are the worst heroes ever." LJ concluded.
The Teen Titans cried out as though constructive criticism was their weakness.
"Well, I'm glad somebody said it." Superman commented.
"You mean... People think we're jokes?" Robin asked.
"Why do you think there's never been a movie made about you?" Superman replied.
"Well... Has there ever been a movie about you?" Starfire asked him.
"So many, and more to come." Superman smiled proudly.
"And you?" Beast Boy asked Wonder Woman.
"Yep, and it was awesome. Got another one in production currently." Wonder Woman smiled.
"And there was a Green Lantern movie, but... We don't talk about that." Green Lantern replied.
"Problem is, you guys never do anything heroic." Superman told the Teen Titans.
"Man, please!" Cyborg glared. "What about that time we discovered that sweet diner and they had all that food?"
"That's not heroic, that's boring." Mr. Blik responded.
"That wasn't even a crime, and you didn't save anything." Superman added.
"This guy thinks we didn't save anything," Cyborg smirked. "We saved room for dessert!"
"Titans, if you keep playing the fool, you'll never be seen as real heroes... Only as jokes," Superman told them only to get hit with a rubber chicken. "Please save me... Anyway, we gotta get going," he then looked to LJ and Zofia with their friends. "Follow us if you'd like."
"Will do!" LJ replied as he and his team got into the Invisible Jet. "So long, SUPER ZEROES!"
They soon took off, abandoning the Teen Titans in the dust.
"Good riddance to bad rubbish." Mr. Blik snickered.
