Trust and Betrayal
A/N: Another Kiraraku. Maybe the story will go slight angst. I'm not too sure. Anyway, the title is taken from a famous anime OVA, Rurouni Kenshin: Tsuikohen, or usually people call it, Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal. I'm very fond about that title and decide to borrow it. Ahahahaha. The title of chapters will be taken from RK OVA1 Original soundtrack. Perhaps I will bring it random.
Anyway thank you so much to spend your time for reading this bad story.
Please Read and Review!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED/Destiny also those titles. Those titles are belong to Rurouni Kenshin OVA 1: Tsuikohen also that Original Soundtrack
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First Trust: Testament
His testament
She had read it. Perhaps thousand times. Still that topic lingering on her mind and she didn't understand altogether about 'it'. It's too much kept nerves within her head. She didn't stand for read those eight letters engraved on it.
She almost vomited every time her eyes caught that word
Why? Was it too abhor to be read?
No, the word was too simple. And should be she happy when she read it. Why she seemed very disgusted?
Yes, should be she happy. Her father assumed her for got her own happiness and arranged it for her. Why she should seemed not happy?
Well, that simple thing was, about 'marriage'
And she knew very well about the one that she's going to marry. As much as she didn't want it, as much as he also tried to avoid it.
But no one could stop this occasion. Neither her nor him. They're going to face it, sooner or later, willing or unwilling.
Her eyes stared that testament without saying a word. Her hands that folded neatly on her lap, started to shake and sweating. She rubbed her palm at her other back of hand, but still her pale palm was wet.
She lost the words on her throat, so she decided to just sit in silence. The thousand thoughts haunted her continuously, made her went crazy. She wanted to scream, yell, shout, and other ways that she could do for released her burden. But with her dry gullet, probably let a weakest noise also she didn't able.
What would she do now? She still had an ideal, a long life, and of course…
the desire for be loved
Was she going to sacrifice it? Only for satisfied her beloved father, she must sacrificed everything?
As a good daughter, she would do everything. Included lost her own happiness and went through all of this. She's sure her father wouldn't make her sad, or even crying. He always gave her the best thing. Why she had to worry about it?
This just a testament. She knew it's going to happen.
But…. Even though she knew, she still….
The man who she's going to marry was a kind man. Always smiling, positioned other people as the first than himself, gentle, polite, and of course….
handsome
The last part was the thing that she expecting to be her husband. It's her wish since her little form. Now she would get it. Didn't it had been a worthy reason for just accept it?
No, it's not what she wanted.
Perhaps he would make a perfect husband. But the happiness wasn't come from it, was it?
She traveled her mind with her own confusion, worry, and anxious. Slowly, her hand flew on to her short bubble-gum hair –she had cut it 2 days after her father's funeral. She had made it messy without she realizing it.
Could she still pay attention to her hair while she struggle hard with that testament?
Just one week ago her father left her for a serenity time. And left her with all kind of inheritance. Also the thing that she afraid most. She had lost everything, her love, her father, and now, her freedom. Then, what was she afraid of?
No one cared about her anymore except her father. So?
She had to make up her mind despite that wouldn't make a difference. At least, with her opened mind, perhaps she would able to through this whole occasion bravely.
She had met him two times and soon could conclude, he was a good man. But it's not the matter. If you didn't love him, then it's same like you lived in a living hell. How stupid her was, despite she knew, she didn't have a feeling for him, still she couldn't change that testament. Looking forward or back, she would still get the same result.
A loveless marriage…. Was it started to choke her now? In former days, she never thought about it, ever. She's sure her father's going to last long, and perhaps in that mean time she had found her own happiness. She always considered her father never serious with his own words about arrangement marriage.
Now, she believed it. There's not an eternal happiness. There's not a happily ever after. Only a dreamer who would trust that tale about prosperity.
It's a real life, and nobody could turn back to past –might she could beg against her father for didn't write about marriage in his testament. Everyone must faced forward, took a step to future, and didn't look behind.
As much as she wanted to deny it, her single life game was over. Her new life with a new title soon started. A little game about marriage. Exactly, a miserable marriage.
She sighed. Not much that she could do in this moment. Despite she kept her mind hesitated, still, later when she said her vow, she would say 'yes, I do' as the answer.
With that foolish duel on her brain, a knock could be heard fulfill entire room. She snapped out her mind, turned her head slightly. She dropped her paper of testament –but she didn't aware- and standing up. Smoothing her wrinkle dress, she mouthed a quick answer and hurried her pace for welcoming her guest –whoever it was.
Her heart still pained because her father's death, yet she's not able to pour her drop of tears. It had been a long time ago since she caught herself couldn't cry anymore. It's weird though, but someone ever told her, if she wept endlessly, someday she wouldn't able to cry again.
But it's not mean now she's able to smile freely. Her stiff face didn't allow herself to do so.
Her tremble hand made its way to her door's knob. With a 'click' sound, now she's sure she had opened it for her guest.
Forced a kind of sweet-bitter smile, she shifted her sight to forward. Remained her smile, her eyes wandering, scanning the figure that had stopped at her residence.
Her crystal blue orbs sharpened a bit when its met with his lavender eyes.
He wore his usual smile –sweet and gentle. But it's not bring an effect for her altogether. She wondering, when he's going to drop that smile. When he sad? Or when his mother died? She's not too sure. Even she's not too know his personality except his habit to smile.
She bowed her head respectfully, took a step back. Without said anything, he made his way and whispering 'thank you' softly.
She only replied him with flashing a sour smile –it's an influence from her previous thought, perhaps.
It's his turn to observe her as well. Her hair now more pale than one week ago –when she saw her at that moment. He enlarged his eyes when he noticed her hair had decreased its length. It's very evident, yet just now he realized it.
Her lips also much paler, and her crystal blue eyes seemed lost it's aura and radiance.
His eyes shot a questionable look at her, sad for saw her in such condition. He knew, it's the influence from her father's death, and he known it. But…. It's not seem like she was thinking about it. There's something else, and when he tried to think about another reason, finally he truly knew the reason.
It must be because him
He laying a hand on her shoulder, forced her to look straight at him. She exhaled deeply, saying a word that he could barely hear. Her stare remained to look at floor, probably because she didn't have energy to do so.
He didn't stand and now decided to get an answer from her mouth –although just one word.
"Why you seem so thin lately? Do you have eaten something?"
Her emotionless orbs remained froze like all time. Now it's her mouth's turn for moving.
"A little."
He took a relief breath. Even though she only ate a little, it had made him loosened his worry for a second. Because now it's his responbility for made sure she's alright.
"I'm glad for hear it. Now I think I can go now." he said, still smiled and trying to hide his disappointment. Honestly he went here with a purpose, but seeing her in such state made him stopped his intention.
A hand gripped his arm. He flinched and turning his sight at her again. Her expression still stayed same, but he could see some doubt on her face now.
"Kira Yamato. You come here for ask me about 'it'. Right?"
He didn't answer it because he knew, she had known the answer since he planted his foot on this floor.
Her eyes gloomed with doubt and hesitant. He wanted to rid it and replaced it with something else but he couldn't.
"You have thought it, haven't you? I know it's not the proper time but-"
"I know. We must decide it as fast as possible. You only want to know my answer, right?"
He swallowed. She could say it with her calm face. He knew it had been their fate. But he wouldn't force her if she didn't want it. It's only their parent's desire, wasn't it? They didn't have to fulfill it, right?
"Listen, you don't have to through all of this if-"
"I want to."
His eyes widened in shock. Impossible she accepted it. She even avoided eye-contact with him! How could now… she agreed?
"My father is my proud. He has asked me to do this final favor. How can I, refuse his last will? I don't have anything else remain in this world. He only asks me to marry you. Is it a hard wish?" coldly she said, somewhat true, somewhat untrue. Was she really thought it's an easy favor?
His lips trembled with uncertain. He didn't feel it right to be done. But another part of his heart wanted it. He also didn't have another choice if she had said 'yes' as now.
He gave her his feign smile as he didn't know anymore how to react in this condition. The thing that he could think was smiling, although it's not the best resolution for faced this situation –at least it's what he thought.
"Fine. If it's fine with you too." He replied quietly, he didn't want her for heard his last statement.
The next thing, she laughed. Her laughter was hoarse and low. Yet held something else that could slash his heart just with heard it.
"We will marry within one month, right?" she attempted to speak between her laughter. Sometimes he felt the poignant within her voice. Probably now she laughing, but in his heart he knew she was crying right now.
However, for sake both of them, he would do it. He knew they weren't able to gain the happiness from this marriage. At least, it's her wish, and he would grant it –although it's meant sacrificed his own happiness too.
He did feel enough. Saw her in this current condition really pained him a lot. He didn't know why. Turned around, he saying 'see you later' and closing the door quickly –as quickly as he could.
She released her breath and staring the closing closed door once again. A bitter smile approaching her little lips. She whispering, as soft as she could. Even she could barely heard her own whisper.
"Thank you a lot. Yamato-san."
-owari-
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A/N: How is it? Too bad ahahahaha XD Sorry for put many confusion here. Maybe I will describe it at next chapter. I will describe it as complete as possible. And for this chapter, sorry for the grammatical errors. For readers, please Read and Review!!!! I'm begging you please!! See you next chapter! Jaa!!
-forevertears
