To Make Ends Meet

Prologue

Sitting here allows me a privilege I have been too busy to have for a while…time to think. Time for me to really, honestly, critically think. I have been denied this quiet time ever since I have picked up that fateful phone call. That day seems so long ago, but in actuality, it wasn't that long ago.

Time flies within a blink of an eye…life flies within a blink of an eye. No one is immortal. Many even leave this Earth too soon, but for everyone else life just seems to pass by without notice. It just flies on by and when you realize how much has passed…it's too late. Life already flown by

Come to think of it, I have never thought about the fundamental importance of life itself. Not just for my own life, but life in general. The whole spectrum on what makes a life worth having…worth living. Right now I have four lives on my shoulders. Four little people depending on me. Those four put all of their hopes and dreams on me. What can I do with that?

I'm only 22 years old and I have more responsibility than I could ever imagine. The day to day trials are exhausting, so exhausting that I wonder if what I'm fighting for is worth it. I mean, I gave up everything to be here: my fun life, my boyfriend, college, and just plain free will. I can't do anything for myself anymore. Everything I do can backfire and have disastrous consequences. These consequences could ruin not just my life, but the life of four important people. I have to think for others and not myself. Some people live their whole life for themselves and not others. I'm here living for others, is it better or worse? Right now, I don't know

Oh man

Sometimes I wonder if I had made the right choice. I wonder if I am the best option for them.

I want to be greedy and selfish so I can keep them. So I can keep my family together. But now, here in this courtroom, I have to wonder if what I'm doing is best for them.

Will their lives be any better with me? Can I really help them? Can I provide them everything they need? Or would they be better off with someone else? Someone else that may be more stable for them…someone that hasn't made as many mistakes as I have. Someone that might be able to give them things I never could.

But then again, no one would be able to love them more than I could. No one can provide them with roots and a foundation the way I can.

The pros don't outweigh the cons and I just need to fight.

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

"Isabella Swan?"

I turned my head to see who interrupted my helpful mantra. Then I saw the helpful officer that has been so kind to me and my family.

"Yes?"

He gave me a hopeful smile.

"They are ready for you now. Good luck"

"Thank you"

I stood up and went through the open door. I walked through with not only my life on the line…but four little other as well…

So, this is my new story that I love so much. Don't worry; I plan to alternate updates between T2E and this one. This story means a lot to me so be kind. Let me know your thoughts and theories to this cryptic opening. Lots of love,

-Roxy