This is yet another One-shot brought on by insomnia ya'll! Except instead of being done in the wee hours of the mornin', it was quickly done up during the afternoon our of sheer boredom in an attempt to stay awake. So beware the oddness. Accept the oddness. Just don't go screwing the oddness... You'll see what I mean when you read the fic...

_* SHORT!!! Too short! But I wanted to post this bit of insanity none-the-less simply because I have a reputation to withhold. Out of all the Jasper's on FFNet, I strive to be the one with the highest number of fics! *stands proudly in the spotlight before she's tackled by her laughing hikari* Plus I like it. Period. (Why does that sound like a tampon add? -_-;;;)

Oh, right, the fic... *ahem* YuugiXYami... that's right, but I hate to say it's one-sided! *sobs* I'm so mean!!! And Yami is a bit OOC. My excu- er, reason? Television... It screws with your mind, man! @.-.@

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! At least not until I get that new virtual system up an- *claps a hand over her big mouth* You didn't hear anything! Shhhhh!!!!!!!!

Dedicated to my hikari *glomps Reana* and to all you beautiful people out there who think that Yuugi wears way too tight of leather to be innocent! -_-;;; Sorry for my lack of sanity... I got kicked out of my house last night and barely got any sleep... SUGAR BUZZ!!! ^.-.^!!!

FLUFF! *Ahhhh-CHOOOOO!!!*

Solitaire

"Yuugi, what are you doing?"

The teen ignored his yami and continued with what he was doing.

Yami peered over his hikari's shoulder, arching an eyebrow at the set-up. "Playing Duel Monster's by yourself? Last time I checked it took two to tango."

A small smile tugged at Yuugi's lips and he peeked at the once-pharaoh from the corner of his eyes. "You've been watching too much television."

A long slender eyebrow rose elegantly on Yami's forehead and his face settled into one of innocent deviousness. "I wouldn't have to if my aibou wasn't so intent on playing with himself all the time, especially when I'm available and willing."

"You do realize how wrong that sounded?" Yuugi inquired, picking up the Dark Magician Girl and placing her on top of the Dark Magician.

Yami struck a thoughtful pose, one finger resting against his lip which stuck out in mock-pout and the other hand draped around his midsection loosely. He nodded slowly and smirked slyly. "Why yes, but who am I to say such things? I haven't been laid in over three thousand years..."

Yuugi chuckled when his dark half sighed dramatically. "You are so grounded from that thing for a while."

Yami gasped. "No sex?! Oh, but hikari! that's not fair! I promise to cut back from now on!"

"I meant the TV!" The hikari burst out laughing and threw a pillow at the Egyptian. "Get out of here you drama queen, before I make you get out!" he managed in between bubbly laughter.

Sly smile slipping back on his face, Yami wrapped his arms around his light's neck, blowing warm air in his ear. "Is that a threat? I might take you up on that, but I can guarantee that I won't be the one in a dress when we start shagging."

Choking on laughter, Yuugi fell off of his chair. "I said drama queen, not drag queen!"

The spirit shrugged. "Drama, drag, it's all fair in love and war..." He glanced at the teenager still on the floor with half lidded eyes. "Speaking of which, what do you say we cut the small talk and start screwing like rabbits?"

Overcome with a new fit of laughter, the young man gave up on keeping a straight face and went with the flow. "When I can get up, you are going to get your ass whipped!"

Eyes glittering mischievously, Yami straddled the chair and looked at his hikari over the back. "Since when did bondage get introduced to our sex lives?"

"Since when did we have sex lives?" Yuugi asked, panting from his deprivation of air and wiping the tears that occurred when laughing.

Yami balled his hand into a fist and slammed it into his chest. "You cut me deep. Right here, man." He pounded his chest a few times and wiped a mock tear from the corner of his eye.

Yuugi rolled his eyes and shoved the once-pharaoh unceremoniously to his royal ass. "I don't know what you're on, but I'd like to continue with my game, thank you muchly."

Sprawled on the ground, the exotic man chuckled. "We don't have to start that all over again, do we? I thought we already agreed that you can't play single-handedly?"

Yuugi glanced at him slyly. "Oh, so you take two?"

"I take whatever I can get, hikari-dearest."

Yuugi chuckled and placed the Lizard Soldier on the Spear Dragon.

"You never answered my initial question."

"You sort of got me sidetracked with all your innuendo's..." Yuugi explained absently, placing the Troop Dragon on top of the recently placed Lizard Soldier.

Yami smirked. "You took as much as I dished out."

Groaning, Yuugi grabbed another pillow from the bed beside him and flung it over his shoulder. "See? Everything you say is a double entendre."

Yami peered innocently out from underneath the well-aimed pillow. "You're the one who catches on. I could be really blunt like I was before and demand that we fuck, but I like these word games a low better."

Yuugi glanced over his shoulder. "Note to self: Yami likes mind games better than bed games."

The Egyptian sat straight up. "I didn't say that!" he cried out indignantly.

"Sure you didn't." Yuugi nodded solemnly. "And I think that was the first sentence you've said that hasn't had any kind of hidden sexual meaning."

The spirit stuck his nose up in the air. "I beg to differ."

Raising an eyebrow the vertically challenged teen focused completely on his dark half. "I don't know what you expect to get by begging, but go for it. Kinkier the better, in my books."

From his pose Yami looked at his light from the corner of his eyes. "Who ever decided that you were innocent?"

Yuugi shrugged. "Same person who decided that I liked wearing tight leather clothing and dog collars while still being as cute and tall as a ten year old child."

His yami wrinkled his nose. "Would that make me a pedophile for hitting on you?"

Another pillow hit him in his perfectly poised face and he toppled over.

Yuugi chuckled and turned back to his game, waiting for Yami's question.

"What are you playing?"

"Oh, just a little Solitaire."

You catch onto everything else, yami, let's see if you can get the most important double meaning you will ever hear in your afterlife.

~fin~

*yawns* Review? Pleazzzzzzzzzzz.... *falls on her remote which blasts her stereo* I'M AWAKE!!!!!!

And if any of you have any suggestions for pairings and what you'd like them to do... I'm completely all ears! ^.-.^ ---eared draggie face.... dun' ask? -_-;;;

Oh, and in case you're wondering how this one-sided when Yami seems to be so obviously flirting with Yuugi... well, he's not. It's like how really good (PERFECTLY STRAIGHT!) friend's joke around with each other. I know a few of them like that, and they are the straightest people I've met, not a single curve in them (At least not when it comes to sexual orientation... ~.-.^) at all! So... yah! ^.-.^;;;

---Jasper Sable