Miroku's Bedtime Stories

Chapter 1

In The Dog House

Miroku and Inuyasha sat outside under a large tree, apart from the rest of their group. But not too far away. The nights in the Sengoku Jidai were too dangerous. The girls did not want their company this night, but they were also not foolish enough to banish them too far a distance away. Just far enough that the sound of their laughter tickled Inuyasha's sensitive ears occasionally.

"They're probably laughing at us," he said.

"The women?" asked Miroku, wondering if Inuyasha talked to himself a lot because he'd spent so much time alone in the many years he'd wandered the feudal ages as hanyou, shunned by youkai and ningen alike.

Inuyasha gave his friend an ironic look from under his dark brows and his ears twitched towards the women. "No, baka houshi, I'm talking about those spider demons hanging over your head."

Miroku almost jumped, but realized quickly that Inuyasha was just teasing him. Again. About spider demons. He hated spider demons. He shuddered, hoping that the hanyou hadn't noticed.

A certain monk had earlier placed his wandering hands on an inappropriate part of a young female demon slayer's anatomy somewhere south of her waist, and a certain hanyou had said something so rude to the young miko, she had invoked the phrase that Inuyasha dreaded more than meeting his older brother on a night of the new moon.

"Osuwari!"

"Kuso! Itai!"

Well, you know how it works.

So, naturally, Miroku was thinking of a way to get back to the campfire. Inuyasha could have cared less. Or so he said.

In spite of his "Feh, bitch, I could care less!" he kept looking anxiously over in the direction of the campfire when he thought Miroku wasn't looking.

Relationships with women were like a game, Miroku figured. They make a move, you make a move, and whoever makes the most moves to their advantage wins, right?

Wrong. He was still trying to figure out where he'd screwed up. That was a phrase Kagome often used. Screwing up. He liked it. It sounded better than "failure".

"Stupid bitches," complained Inuyasha. "Don't they know that without us, they're in danger? What if another one of those weasel demons comes along?" Last week there seemed to be a bargain basement closeout on weasel demons. That was how Kagome put it anyway. Inuyasha wondered what the hell that meant and if she were in some way making fun of him. He couldn't always tell.

It was a warm night, so they didn't really want the fire for warmth, but it's friendly light was welcome in the darkness of the forest. Of course, Inuyasha wasn't bothered by the dark. His golden eyes saw almost as well at night as they did in the daylight. Miroku knew this, so he wasn't worried about something sneaking up on them. Between hanyou eyes and hanyou ears, and that amazing sense of smell, they were safe enough.

What Miroku missed was female companionship. Especially the female companionship of a certain lovely demon slayer. Sango. He sighed.

"Nani?" said Inuyasha, "what about Sango?" He looked over at the women, who were looking as though they were getting ready to go to sleep, finally.

"Uh, nothing," said Miroku. He hadn't realized he'd sighed her name aloud.

"I don't like the idea of them sleeping without us nearer," complained Inuyasha. "You're always up in a damn tree anyway," grumbled Miroku, spreading out his bed roll.

Inuyasha yawned showing his fangs. He stretched and Miroku heard the vertebrae in his back crack.

"Safest place to be when you're a small hanyou in a big bad world," grinned Inuyasha. "Once I figured out how to stay put, I couldn't seem to break the habit."

"How'd you learn to stay up there?" asked Miroku, curious.

"Falling out a few times helped," said Inuyasha. He grinned in the darkness again, flashing his fangs.

"I see," said Miroku, not seeing.

"You oughtta try it, Miroku, it's great," said Inuyasha.

"Uh, no thank you, Inuyasha," he said politely.

"Whatever," Inuyasha said, shrugging.

"I'll stay down here with you tonight, anyway," said Inuyasha. "There might be an evil spider demon waiting to pounce on you."

Miroku groaned and threw a clod of dirt at the hanyou's back.

Inuyasha gave a short bark of laughter.

"No more spider demon jokes, please? I'm not going to be sleeping that well tonight anyway."

They settled down for a restless night under the summer stars.

"Ahh!"

Inuyasha leapt up, ears flicking towards that source of the scream.

"Shippou!" he yelled, running over to the now dying fire. "It's all right, Inuyasha, he just had a nightmare," said Kagome.

The fox kit had his arms and legs wrapped tightly around Kagome, whimpering.

"It's all right now, Shippou," she soothed him.

"Dammit Shippou, you nearly made me jump outta my clothes," swore Inuyasha.

Kagome was glad it was dark. The mental image of a naked Inuyasha was making her face burn.

Miroku had wakened too and was walking over in the dim firelight.

"What's going on, Lady Kagome?" he asked, squatting down beside Kagome's sleeping bag.

"Shippou had a nightmare," Kagome explained, still petting Shippou's back and head to comfort him.

"Hm, maybe he's scared because Inuyasha and I aren't here to protect him," suggested Miroku, raising his eyebrow at her.

"I can protect Shippou," replied Sango, now also awake and sitting up in her bedroll.

"Of course you can, my lady Sango," said Miroku hurriedly. He wasn't in the mood to dodge a large weapon in the wee hours of the night.

"But perhaps, if I told Shippou a story, it would get his mind off of the unpleasant thing that caused his nightmare," he said, waiting.

"That sounds nice, Miroku," said Kagome, always quick to forgive anyway.

"All right, Houshi-sama, you can come back over by the fire," Sango said.

"It's not for me, it's for Shippou," Miroku protested.

"Sure it is." "That was unworthy of you, Lady Sango," replied Miroku in a insulted tone, walking back to the tree to fetch his bedroll.

"That was accurate of me, Houshi-sama," Sango laughed.

Miroku smiled to himself. She laughed so rarely, it was almost worth being the target of an insult to hear the lovely sound.

"I've got to quit thinking that way, or I'll go insane," he thought a second later.

He had no business thinking of Lady Sango in that fashion. He started listing all the reasons in his mind that he was unworthy of her.

It wasn't working really well anymore, he noticed.

He sighed again.

He spread out his bedroll a respectable distance from Kagome and Sango, and Inuyasha stretched out next to him.

Shippou turned around on Kagome's lap expectantly.

"I want to hear an exciting story," he said, to Miroku, munching on a cookie Kagome had dug out of her backpack to distract him.

"Not too exciting," cautioned Miroku, "after all, we all need to go back to sleep."

"Okay," Shippou pouted. He loved it when Miroku told them stories by the campfire in his expressive velvety voice. He often entertained them by singing and playing his lute also.

Even Inuyasha listened. The storytelling and singing would bring memories of his mother to mind. She often sang to him and told him stories before he went to sleep at night. It was one of his stronger memories of her.

"This story is called 'The Princess Who Fell in Love with the Wind'" said Miroku dramatically.

"Love!" said Shippou. "EW!"

"I promise, it's a good story," Miroku said to him, winking.

"Okay," said Shippou, yawning.

In spite of herself, Sango sat forward, elbows on her knees and focused on his face in the firelight as he began his tale.