A/N: I don't know why this came to me, but it nagged until it was written! Please R&R if you enjoy!

Botherness

"Oh, bother it, not another one!" exclaimed Lucy crossly, casting the letter aside in disgust.

"Your Majesty?"

Lucy glared at the letter. "Another letter from a would-be suitor, friend Tumnus."

The faun gave a light chuckle that turned into a cough as Lucy turned her glare on him. "Your Majesty must remember that you are – ah – more than eligible, and considered every bit as beautiful and desirable as your royal sister."

"Oh, bother it all!" she snapped.

Mr. Tumnus tried very hard not to laugh; suitors were the only thing that really annoyed Lucy, who felt they were simply a nuisance. "Shall I write the usual reply, Your Majesty?" For he acted as her own private secretary, and had written very polite but firm refusals to countless suitors. In fact, he had a template which he simply doctored every time in suitably flowing and flattering words to say that, while Her Majesty Queen Lucy the Valiant was cognisant of the great honour done to her by What's-his-name of Whatnot, and greatly flattered by the marriage proposal, she still considered herself far too young to be courted… and so on.

"Yes, yes, the usual. By the mane, I should marry you and have done with it; then they'll no longer bother me," she said, exasperated. Her mouth twitched as she saw the look of horror on the faun's face. "Something wrong, Tumnus?"

"N-no, Your Majesty! Of course not," he stammered.

Now thoroughly amused, Lucy laughed. "Forgive me, Tumnus, that was a sad jest I made. I would not really put you through something as terrible as marriage to me must surely be."

"Aslan be blessed," he muttered.

"What was that?" she said sharply.

"Umm…" He thought quickly. "I stubbed my toe."

Lucy quirked an eyebrow at him. "You have hooves, Tumnus. Hooves. And they feel no pain when you stub them."

"Ah. Yes. Indeed. All I meant was that, while I enjoy Your Majesty's company, I am in no way desirous of making you my wife."

Lucy nodded. "Glad to hear it." He let out a sigh of relief. "And Tumnus, for Aslan's sake, stop calling me Your Majesty!"

"Yes, Your Majesty," he mumbled.

Lucy just rolled her eyes.