Being one of my family is an experience in itself. A There are twelve of us kids. The oldest, Katrina, has three kids of her own. Katrina is 26, Michelle is 20, Alorah and Kenny are 18, Catherine and Jessica are 16, my twin Mark and me, Amelia are 14, Caroline is 13 Joseph and Andrew are 10, and Jennifer is boys like skateboarding as does Caroline. Caroline is a total tomboy. Where as Catherine, Jessica, and Alorah are more into looks and makeup. Jennifer is the shy one in the dozen and is often seen clinging to my father's leg. When I got home from school, I was the first one home. Being home alone is an accomplishment when you live with thirteen other people. My Mom and Jennifer were at the doctor, Caroline and the boys were at their friend's house, Catherine, Jessica, and Alorah were shopping with a group of their friends, and Mark was at basketball practice. I would have been at practice too, but my coach was sick. I said hi to my cat and sat down to do my homework. When my Mom came home she sent all of us to our room's so she could talk to my Dad. I went up to my room, finished my homework, and my Dad called us down for a family meeting. Normally in a family meeting everyone talks. But this time my Dad did the talking. "I need all of you to help me out a little more since your Mother no longer can" he told us. "Why can't she?" Michelle asked. "Well she has cancer." He told us. The house immediately turned chaotic. Mark looked at me and when our eyes met, we fell silent. We both knew yelling and carrying on wouldn't help our situation. Nothing would. I ran up to my room and cried. Later on I heard everyone else going up to bed. My Mom came in and sat down on my bed. I put my head on her shoulder and we cried together. The next day she had to go to the hospital for some tests and they decided to keep her for more tests and treatment. But there was a dilemma. Only two visitors were allowed to see her at a time. Each of us got to see her alone on a certain day. My day was Saturday. When it finally came around I was praying I didn't have the same luck as Mark. My Mom had been asleep the entire time Mark had been there. The hospital smelled like medicine mixed with puke. I went up to her room and quietly opened the door. I almost screamed. That wasn't my Mother! But it was. Her blond hair was gone and her eyes were closed. She opened them as I sat down. "Hey Sweetie" she said her voice sounded muffled and was painful to listen to. "Hi Mom" I said as my voice cracked. "I uh gotta go see um" I stammered and quickly left the room. I stood in the hallway outside her room and contained myself before going back in. "How long do you have to stay here?" I asked her "Until and if I get better" she told me. I felt a tear roll down my face. So I guess you'll see Caroline tomorrow huh?" I asked trying to change the subject. "Yeah but you're still my sunshine. Always have been always will be" she told me I smiled at her. All of a sudden my Dad stuck his head in "Time to go!" he said. My Mom smiled lightly at him. I gave her a hug and left. The next few days were hectic art my house. Everyone now knew what was going on with my Mom. About a week later the phone rang. "I got it!" I yelled. "Hello?" "Hi Sunshine!" my Mom's familiar voice answered. I ran into my room and collapsed into my bean bag chair. "Hey Mom!!!" I said ecstatically. "How's everything over at the zoo?" she asked. "Oh same old same old. " I told her. "Ok well than is your Father there?" she inquired. "Hold on a sec" I told her "DAD!" I yelled. "Amelia you almost gave me a heart attack!" my Dad said coming up behind me. I jumped "Sorry phone's for you" I told him handing him the phone. Here's the side of the conversation I heard, "Hello? Oh hi Kate!! Oh no really? Ok I'll be… Hello? Hello?" "We need to go to the hospital." He told me urgently. I had no idea what to expect at the hospital. What happened was the last thing I expected. We went up to her room. But she was gone! My Dad asked a nurse in the hallway where she was. "Oh she dropped into a comma about a half an hour ago." She told us "Can we see her?" my Dad inquired. "Third floor in the lab." she told us. "But you're wasting your time" she added. The lab? It sounded like my mother was some sort of science experiment! Well she sure looked like one. All of the wires inserted in her arms made me sick. That was the last time I saw her in three months. My Dad always went to the hospital alone. One day he came home smiling. "Great news she woke up today she's getting better!!" he told us. We all started cheering. The next news we heard was that she had had another chemo treatment and was doing worse. I was devastated. My admired mother was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. And I hated it. The next day at basketball practice my coach was yelling at me for missing the game the day I had gone to see my Mother and I almost slapped her. Afterwards I stayed back to shoot baskets. I was so angry it was more like trying to dent the backboard. Mark showed up and tried to calm me down but was unsuccessful. When we got home there was a note on the counter saying that everyone else had gone to the hospital. My cat tried to rub against my leg and I kicked. I was infuriated. When they got home my Dad said "Your Mom's coming home tomorrow. She still needs her rest and can't have any noise. Got it?" Every family member except Mark and I had seen her recently. They would have no problem leaving her alone. I refused to go pick her up the next day so I stayed home with Jennifer. At around three o'clock Jennifer went running downstairs yelling "MOMMY, MOMMY!!!!!!!" But I stayed in my room. I heard them bring her upstairs, heard her calling my name, but ignored her. I needed some space. I stayed in my room for a week straight. Mark brought me food every so often but he was the only sign of civilization I saw for that week. When I decided to come out I went to see my Mom. I ignored the "Do Not Enter" sign written in red crayon on her door and went in. She was asleep so I sat down in the desk chair next to her bed and cried. She woke up about ten minutes after I got there. Her piercing blue eyes scared me. She looked up at me and her eyes filled up with tears. "Amelia," she began. I had lost her love. I left the room. "Sweetheart, My Sunshine" her voice echoed in my ears. She would probably never call me them again. She had trusted me and I had lost her trust. When I got back to my room I found Mark sitting on my bed looking through my childhood scrapbook. "What's up with Mom?" I asked him. "Well the nurse says she's losing her memory. She didn't even remember DAD the other day." He told me. I gasped "she's getting worse and there's nothing any of us can do about it." He finished. I cried myself to sleep that night. I had been terrible to her and I knew it. The next morning I found another note on the counter "back to the hospital will be home soon" it said. My Dad came home around noon and his eyes were red. "Well she almost didn't make it" he told us. "They have her on oxygen and are giving her a week to live." He finished breathlessly. Well the doctors were wrong. Eight months went by with not much change. Than my Dad came home crying again. I about had a heart attack when he walked through the front door. "She's going to be fine" he said. I felt my heart thumping faster. "She woke up and even asked about you guys!" he told us. "When can we see her?" asked Alorah. "Well if we go now you can all see her for five to ten minutes?" He said "Than lets go!" said Catherine matter-of-factly. I was nervous so volunteered to go last. When I went up to her room she looked up at me. "Hey Mom" I said nervously. "Hello Amelia"she replied. So much for her 'sunshine'. I sat down feeling a tear rolling down my face. "I've seen everyone else. Why did you wait to be last?' she asked. I blushed "Don't want to talk about it?" she asked reading my thoughts. I smiled at her glad to be understood. "I'm sorry I was so terrible to you" I blurted out. "Oh sweetie I see the same attitude in you as I had when I was your age." She told me. "I guess I got ticked off because Dad wouldn't let me see you and every time I snuck in you were asleep." I admitted. She laughed. It was great to hear her laugh. It was like hearing a long lost friend's voice after years of wanting to. The beeper went off. I had to go. I gave her a hug and left. This time with my heart lightened. Over the next few weeks I went to see her everyday after basketball practice. I was the only one there when she tried walking for the first time and when she finally accomplished it. She still isn't 100% better and probably never will be. I'm just happy she's alive. After all when you live in a family of fourteen, everyone looks out for each other. My Mom just needed to know we were looking out for her too.