Disclaimer- I own Joss Whedon and therefore I also own the Firefly 'verse and all related characters by proxy. Don't believe me? Yeah, didn't think you would.
"Gorramit Doc! It weren't my fault!" Jayne bellows from the infirmary door as he watches Simon inspecting his sister.
"How isn't this your fault?"
"It were Moony's ruttin' idea. That's how."
"Yes, I completely believe it was my sister's brilliant plan to enroll herself into an illegal fighting tournament and allow herself to get beaten up." the younger man says sarcastically as he gestures to his patient's black eye and swollen cheek.
"Sure was. Couldn't just go in there an' do her assassin thing. Had to make it look like she coulda lost or tha odds against her wouldn'ta been as high an' we wouldn'ta made as much on tha bets."
"You were taking bets on her?!"
"Well, I sure weren't gonna place any on Tiny."
"TINY! That man was bigger than you! He could have killed her!"
"Now, you know that ain't true. She done already laid 'im out like he were Christmas dinner by tha time yall got there." Jayne replies, glowing with something like pride.
"Didn't want to fight me. Afraid of hurting the little girl. Had to knock some teeth out before he'd take a punch." River says with a sweet smile.
"An' it were right pretty watchin' 'im spit 'em out too. I even saved me one as a souvenir." the merc grins as he pulls a yellowed tooth out of his pocket.
"OUT! JUST GET OUT!" Simon screams. The big man raises an eyebrow at the doc before turning his attention back to the girl on the examination table.
"We'll divvy up later, Crazy." Jayne smirks as he leaves.
Author's note: I blame the plot bunnies.
