A/N: This is my first RenIchi fic, so please forgive me if it's too OOC for your taste. Beta'd by the Godsent angel, Axaroffle (Kay)!

- This is Ichigo's first time in a sexual/intimate relationship with another person -let's see how that goes, eh? ^^

- Rated M for later chapters.

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Holding the bare handle of his zanpaktou felt nothing but natural and calming to Ichigo. He set the tip into the carpet of his rug and looked at the upright blade. Clots of blood were still drying; the spatters making nonsensical shapes across the black and silver blade. He gripped the bandaged handle tightly, watching as his skin turned white with the force of his hold. A tight sigh left his chest and he pulled the handle towards his face and rested the hilt against his forehead.

He knew what the cool bite of a metal sword felt like - that plunging pressure and quick slashing motion. He knew what pain felt like; the tearing, sickening rip of flesh as a blade cut through your body. Those experiences were nothing new to Ichigo Kurosaki.

What took him off guard was pleasure…and affection. Someone gently wiping the blood off of his face scared him more than a sharp blade ever could. Being tugged into someone's side while their hand caressed his arm gave him chill bumps that no fear could match. Someone sliding their lips across his cheek as they intertwined their fingers together made him break out in cold sweat. And worse still, that meeting of lips and wet tongue that reached out to stroke his own made his face turn incredibly red.

Ichigo raised his head as he heard someone come through his window.

Renji.

All those unbearable emotions raced through him – combining and growing with intensity as the man hopped down from the opening and sat by him on the bed.

Ichigo sat completely still and silent – unable to find words in his moment of panic. Renji grabbed Zangetsu from his hands and laid it on the floor and then turned to rub something from under Ichigo's eye. Ichigo felt himself shiver as those hands reached towards his body and he was suddenly able to recall every time they had ever touched him – on and off the battlefield.

The man reached an arm around his side and tugged Ichigo closer to him as he grasped his jaw to turn and inspect him. Ichigo felt the knot in his throat as Renji petted and caressed him, turning him every direction in search of wounds. He felt both nervous and safe in the man's arms. How ironic that the man that terrified him made him feel the most protected. He attempted to control his anxiety as he was handled.

"Ya' okay?" Renji whispered to him.

"Yeah." Ichigo murmured.

"Then what's that matter with ya'?" Renji asked as he pulled Ichigo fully onto his lap. "Every time I see ya', ya' look like ya' just seen somethin' horrible. "

Ichigo blushed at how obvious he was. He truly enjoyed Renji's company, but they had only been doing this for a short period and just wasn't used to the attention yet. But somehow…the thought of telling Renji that made him feel completely stupid and childish.

"Ichigo just tell me."

Shit – he was so damn obvious.

Renji suddenly leaned forward to kiss him and he felt himself jerk away unconsciously.

The man frowned at Ichigo's reaction, pushing him completely off his lap to look hard at him.

"Renji, I…" Ichigo fumbled hurriedly. "I just…I wasn't…you scared me!"

"I scared you?!" Renji asked incredulously.

"Yes! I mean NO…I…" He stuttered furiously. "I'm just not used to being touched! I'm not used to you holding and kissing me!"

Renji eyes grew wide at the outburst and a smile began to creep onto this face.

"This isn't funny dammit!" Ichigo growled.

"That just means we gotta practice." Renji snickered.

"Practice?"

"Oh yeah – practice."

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Ch.2 is already up. ^^

Reviews are welcome...hate it, love it, don't have an opinion...let me know, I accept critism very well.