As per code of conduct, I suppose, I should state the obvious. The characters and certain lines aren't mine. Lines taken from 2x15 & 3x12.
Musical inspiration: "Breathe Me" by Sia, "Signs" [Acoustic] by Bloc Party, "I See You" by Mika.
Checking her cell again, Blair sighed, seeing that 45 minutes had passed since Chuck was supposed to meet her for lunch. She had been sitting idly in the Empire's restaurant, watching patrons and various restaurant employees pass by, all the while hoping Chuck would make an appearance. Blair felt her heart drop and a swoop in her stomach; she couldn't help but be reminded of last year, and the disappointment she had felt...
She had curled her hair, reapplied her lip gloss generously, found the most perfect little black dress, lit candles... only to get: "Sorry. Working late. Next time." At least last time there had been a text! At least that time had been in the privacy of her own home--no one had to see her get stood up by Chuck Bass, yet again.
Blair shook her head in a futile attempt to rid herself of the memory; things were different now, Chuck was a different man, feeling and committed. With one last glance at her phone, Blair left a bill for her drink and headed out, intending on checking in on Chuck's penthouse.
As the elevator ascended, Blair found she didn't know what to expect when the elevator doors opened. Undoubtedly, Chuck would push her away. Just as Chuck could read her subtext, she could his. In ordinary Bass fashion, he'd continue to deny his feelings and refuse to open up. However, at this point, Blair knew better--Chuck Bass was anything but unfeeling.
The elevator dinged, signalling her arrival the the seemingly empty loft. The clicking of her heels seemed to resound through the stillness and somberness as she approached Chuck's bedroom and opened the door. Seeing him reclining on the bed, relief and disappointment flooded her.
She couldn't hide the despondency in her voice, "Thought you were meeting me for lunch."
Chuck didn't meet her eyes. "I had too much to drink."
"Oh"
Brushing away memories of their tumultuous past, Blair took a breath and shrugged. Now was the time to be understanding...
"Well, we'll just order room service"
The hopeful suggestion was barely out of her mouth before it was followed by Chuck's quick refusal: "Look, I really... don't need you to take care of me."
Blair lowered her eyes, hiding her hurt-- not that Chuck had even bothered to look at her since she had walked in. But it was all too familiar.
"I don't need your help-- Stop trying to play the wife!"
She had thought Chuck's searching eyes, furrowed brow, and pointed mouth along with his stinging rejection had been painful. But now, nothing compared to the blasé denial he had just dealt to her. Because now she knew--she knew Chuck Bass was no longer an unfeeling robot. He was sweet, he was romantic, he loved her.
Strength. Strength was key. Chuck had supported her and comforted her through every NYU woe and Serena-squabble. She had to be here.
"I know... how hard it was for you, to let your guard let me in,"
Chuck began to rise at her words, and Blair couldn't help the faint glimmer of hope it afforded her. However, the annoyed look on his face shrouded her with doubt.
"But you've changed."
At this point, she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince: Chuck? or herself?
Blair stomped down the insecurity rising up in her throat as Chuck seemed looked towards the wall, seemingly finding a steely resolve from some unknown apparition. He got up, straightened his attire, and sauntered toward her.
"I'm buying that building."
"Chuck,"
Now was not the time for that conversation, but her disapproving tone made her opinion clear.
"Don't tell me what to do."
"I'm not,"
Blair's eyes started to sting and water. Strength, she reminded herself. Strength is key.
"Just... talk to me," her voice was subdued in her pleading. She found herself boxed out by his body, his eyes evading hers. His scent surrounded her, but today, it brought no comfort.
"Blair,"
Chuck stalled, not meeting Blair's seeking gaze, taken away from her by a rampant thought. The ghost of his father. A voice not hers. This wasn't her Chuck. He spoke slowly, deliberately.
"I need you to get out of here. Now."
No reassurance was to be accepted. She saw that. Nevertheless, her heart constricted as he turned her away. In a hollow attempt to let herself passed Chuck's barriers, Blair reached for him.
"Chuck,"
But as expected, she was let down. He finally met her eyes, the dark brown hardened and his mouth pinched as he reiterated:
"Now."
Defeated, Blair turned and left as Chuck moved to lean against the door frame, absorbing an influence not hers. She cast him a look before entering the lift, heart heavy and clenching. Strength. Strength. Strength.
"Chuck?"
Her presence wasn't acknowledged besides the subtle tensing of his shoulders. But Blair's strength had cracked has her eyes became glassy and her voice shook.
"All I wanted to do was just--just be there? I just want you to know... that I'm here," she hated the weak tremble and lilt in her voice. She managed to muster a semblance of calm for her next words.
"And I love you."
Blair couldn't find the will to turn away like she had originally intended. Instead, she stood and watch Chuck as he glared broodingly to the door frame across from him, ire increasing. The silence stood still between them, the space between them feeling like a magnetic push apart.
A scowl was fixed on Chuck's features as he averted his eyes to the floor, his words ground out almost unwillingly.
"I don't need you. Just go. And don't bother coming back."
The harsh look on his face faded and his voice lowered to a quiet whisper, but his eyes remained on the floor. With a slight nod of his head and tremble in his hands, he continued:
"I can't do this anymore."
The tears Blair had been desperately holding back escaped and she choked back a sob. Quivering with the force of her breaths, she let out a sigh before returning a whisper of her own.
"You don't mean that.."
With that, Blair retreated to the lift to escape the now stifling penthouse. She looked at the ceiling, vainly trying to stem the tears. Strength was overrated anyway.
Thanks for checking it out! Feel free to review/ leave thoughts, opinions, suggestions, and criticism! It's welcome :]
My first attempt in multi-chaptered fics. Oh dear, what am I getting myself into?
