A/N: WARNING: As stated in the description, this story is extremely dark. It includes tragedy and is not for the faint of heart. You've been warned, so no flaming! If you don't like anything dark, do not read this. I was listening to Death Cab for Cutie's album "Plans" when I wrote this. As always, I do not own anything.
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit
And we've left our love in our summer skin
His hands slid slowly up her smooth thighs, reaching her bare squirming hipbones and pinning them down to the bed, eliciting a playful laughter from Amy's pink lips. Bright blue eyes hovered above her face just before their lips grazed one another's, while his hands relished the subtle indentations of her ribcage moving their way to her breasts.
"Touch them." She whispered, sensing his brief hesitation.
Expecting to feel warm palms caressing her, she felt something entirely different. Amy propped herself up onto her elbows to see her beloved kissing her chest. His lustful whisper of a voice finally filled her ears.
"Do you like this?"
"Yes, touch me." Her voice, pleading.
His hands traveled down to the apex of her thighs to find the bundle of nerves she wanted him to touch so badly for months.
The sun glistened through the tiny crevices of Amy's blinds, waking her slowly. She opened her eyes to look at her bedside clock. Seven in the morning and alone in her bed. Again. It was a dream. Again.
Without changing her daily routine for the past six months, Amy forced herself out of her bed and into the shower. Standing under the warm water, she rested her wet hair against the tile of the shower wall and sobbed, as time became increasingly irrelevant.
An hour? Two hours later? She had no idea. Amy finally managed to get dressed, late for work. Again.
"This is becoming quite a bad habit, Dr. Fowler." Her superior admonished.
"Sorry." She mumbled, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
Amy just needed to get through this day, knowing she would see Sheldon tonight and they would talk. Maybe hearing his voice would cheer her up. Who was she kidding? He was the reason for her sullen teenage moping.
"Amy, you're late! The food has been sitting for 20 minutes." Sheldon huffed and walked over to his spot where their respective plates sat on the coffee table.
"I'm not hungry. You can save mine to eat later."
"You really need to eat something, you're looking awfully skinny and pale these days." He nudged her plate towards her.
"I said I am not hungry! And, I should note that is a far stretch from a few months ago, when you told me to lay off the doughnuts!" Amy spat back, crossing her arms like a pouting child.
"Amy, I apologized for that. Is that what all this is about? The way you have been acting lately has been troubling me."
"No, this is about a much bigger issue, which you seem to be oblivious to." Amy's voice raised a few octaves.
"And what's that?" Sheldon put his plate down and stared blankly into her eyes.
"You never touch me. You can't even hold my hand without being repulsed. We are never going to have a physical relationship and I've been trying to come to terms with that. It turns out, I can't." Tears were pricking her eyes now.
"Amy, what are you saying? Do you wish to terminate our relationship?" There was a nagging fear in the core of his being as to what the next words to leave her lips would be.
"Yes."
His heart sank. "Amy, please, you can't do this to me. Please. I need you." Sheldon's voice was pleading.
"I can't Sheldon. I cannot endure this any longer. You say you've been trying, but when is the last time you touched me? She paused for a beat, waiting for his answer but his eyes shot directly his feet. "When?!"
"Six months ago, when we hugged at the end of the summer." His voice was defeated, cursing his eidetic memory.
"Exactly! But, you're trying? I don't buy it." Amy looked around searching for where she had left her bag.
"Amy, please don't leave. I promise I will try harder. Please." His lips trembled and his eyes threatened tears.
"Then, kiss me." Amy countered.
"Amy, you're being unreasonable. I can't."
"That's what I thought. Goodbye Sheldon."
"No. No. No. Please don't leave. We can hold hands and watch any movie you want."
"Why? So we can keep masking this problem? So that you can just skim by to keep me quiet." Amy knew she was being harsh, but she had held it in for months. Sheldon couldn't look her in the eye, she walked up to him, their noses barely grazing and continued.
"Well, let me ask you this then, do you love me?" Amy whispered, knowing she may not want to hear the answer.
Sheldon remained silent for what seemed like an eternity.
"I asked you if you loved me." Amy repeated.
"No." Sheldon's voice cracked as he answered.
Amy felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest and stomped on. Tears were clearly evident now, there was no holding them back as she sobbed hysterically.
"I can't believe this. I should have known better. My entire life, no one has ever loved me, why would you be any different?"
"Amy, please don't cry. We just need time."
"No, you need time and I am not going to be waiting for you when you decide to finally grow up. I know that I love you but I can't continue to torture myself with this relationship."
And with that Amy headed towards the door slamming it shut and ran down the stairs, as Penny was emerging from her apartment.
"Ames!" Penny called down the stairs. "Ames? What's wrong?" No response. "Amy!" Penny called again as she started to run down the stairs, just in time to see Amy's car speed out of the parking lot.
