I Was Born To Die
Jaelawyn Noble [ Jaelawyn@attbi.com ]
Disclaimer: Love 'em, dun own 'em.
Warnings: DDA, character death
Rating: R
Pairing:
Archive:
Feedback: 'm a whore for it
~
Alanna looked out at the ragging storm. Lightning, thunder, rain, winds that were cracking braches around her... She turned sad eyes toward Pirate's Swoop. Or more accurately, what was left of it. She looked at the raging fires that covered the rubble on the south tower, she saw the walls laying in pieces. She could smell the burnt flesh of those burned alive, could hear the screaming of those being crushed beneath the stone blocks that made up her beautiful home.
Around her, the men of Third and Fifth Company stared in shock. Many of them moved up to the rubble and began to search for people, trying to put out fires, trying to gather the dead for a proper burial. Raoul rode up next to her, eyes speaking concern. Behind him, Neal, Keladry and a few other knights stood in shock, looking at the scene of destruction in awe and terror.
"Alanna...?" Raoul asked softly, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder.
She jerked away. "Don't touch me," she whispered, eyes not leaving the scene of devastation. Her mind was reeling. She had seen many fiefs in the past two years that had been totally destroyed by Scanrans, she knew they left no one alive. She didn't want to realize what this truly meant. She had lost so much in only a few years.
King Jonathan the Fourth had died at the beginning of the year, stabbed to death while he was sleeping. Queen Thayet had died at the beginning of the war when a rattlesnake had been let loose in her bath. Roald and Shinkokami were now the co-rulers of Tortall, and everyone was worried for their safety. Alanna had lost Coram and Rispah only four months ago; the Scanrans had launched a surprise attack at the fortress fief... it had been a massacre.
Many of her friends had been killed in battle. It seemed as if everyone in Tortall was dying. The Scanrans knew how to decimate a castle or manor in less than a day. The Royal Palace... It looked like the ruins of the Old Ones. Nothing and no one survived. Not a single soul had. Corus had been set on fire, the city burned to the ground. Bodies of women, children, infants, young men, old men, cripples... They had been burned alive in their homes.
These Scanrans had no honor, if they killed innocent women and children. So many people had died, it was frightening. And so many people close to Alanna had died. She knew she was cursed; everyone she loved, everyone she touched died. She couldn't stand it. Perhaps it was better if she had died when she was five in that pond. Maybe it was her destiny to die, and only die.
"Alanna..." Raoul said, reaching for the reins to her horse.
Alanna closed her eyes and then kicked Darkmoon into a gallop, headed straight for the cliff overlooking the sea. Tears flew from her eyes as Darkmoon galloped away from the scene of wreckage. Alanna couldn't stand it, her mind was chaotic. There was no way she could live with this. She needed to die... She deserved to die.
She killed everything she loved. Everything that was precious to her... Everything in her life died.
She could hear Raoul galloping after her, calling her name. She ignored him, her mind no longer to create sense. All she knew was that she couldn't take it any more. It was time to end the suffering of her life.
She reached the cliff, and dismounted. Her throat contracted, tears gathered in her eyes and rolled down her face in hot, salty rivers. This was the spot that she and George has vowed that they would love each other no matter what happened. It was also where Thom and the twin had been conceived. Her heart ached with the thoughts of George.
"ALANNA!" Raoul cried, reaching the cliff and her. "Alanna, c'mon... It's going to be okay..."
She turned around and looked at him sadly. "No... It's never been okay, Raoul... I'm destined to die, please let me go. I couldn't live and watch those I love die... Maybe this way I can right some of the wrongs I have created..." She walked over to him, stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek and smiled sadly at him. "This is what I was born to do, Raoul... Please don't be sad."
She walked back to the cliff, hugging herself. She turned to face the destruction that had once been the home she had always wanted. The one she had with George. The one she had lost. Someone rode up, screaming for Raoul to grab her. He lunged at her and she shook her head and stepped off the cliff, falling in a stream of red hair and flashing armor.
Within the first twelve feet of the fifty foot drop, she was dead, her neck broken by the resistance and gravity.
Raoul watched, face full of pain and anguish. The rider came over to him and a slow walk.
"The... The baron and children are alive," he spoke softly to Raoul.
Raoul drew a breath and choked. His eyes closed as hot tears ran down his face. "Alanna..." he moaned, falling to his knees and gripping his head in his hands.
"I was born to die... It is my destiny..."
