It has been revised! I have been meaning to do this for a while now. And I feel while it hasn't a dramatically different ending from before, it definitely ends on a better tone.
This story came to me as I thought about how I would feel if I were in Kagome's place. And the more I thought about it, I realized I had my own version of Kikyo lurking around. Most of us do in some way, at some point. So, I dedicate this to the girl that unintentionally took a man I loved away from me for several years. Just as I suffered after someone I could not have, like Kagome, I could not even force myself to hate her.
Inuyasha does not belong to me. Thank you, Rumiko Takahashi for sharing him with us.
Enjoy!
At first, it was all about how we were the same: the look, the power, the Inu-hanyou with us during our job. All I heard was people's comparison's of me with Kikyo.
"Have you seen the girl? They say she's Lady Kikyo reincarnated!"
"Really? Well, what does she do?" As if I was a dog being inquired about its tricks.
"She is looking for the sacred jewel. Poor girl…might suffer the same fate being with that half-breed."
I could tell that Inuyasha heard them, though he pretended that there were no whispers around us. And it hurt me to have people think that he could ever be evil.
Inuyasha…
The one true similarity between Kikyo and me was our love for him. I didn't mind that much, as I was always with him. But when he would run off to find her, I would fall to pieces. It was so easy to remember how he looked at her after the cliff incident, like she was the only thing on this earth that was truly important.
Every now and then, I thought I saw him looking at me that way; only to have him yell at me, demanding what I was staring at. It was all just in my imagination, it would seem.
How he felt about Kikyo was obvious to all around us. But about me, I was always one step behind his emotions.
"Okay guys… Dinner is served!" I smiled, handing to everyone around the campfire the individual bentos I had made that morning.
We sat in our usual companionable silence. Eating slowly on most our parts. Once finished, I got up and began searching my backpack for the math textbooks.
The quiet ended when I pulled the books out though, with a shout and a resonating slap from Sango. Even I could feel that one.
As the shouts began, I felt a familiar presence step up behind me. He seemed to be analyzing me while I was doing my studies and my homework. I didn't mind the staring, seeing as how he did that often (though usually from far away). But it was when he spoke this time that surprised me.
"What's the matter with you? You look as though your work is hard."
I tried to be smooth and collected about my answer, but his eyes held such an uncertainty about them when I looked up. It messed up my whole thought process, and I squeaked.
"Yeah. I mean… I'm just thinking. You know, studying." Great. I even babbled.
He was satisfied with my answer and sat down next to me, repositioning Tetsusaiga against his shoulder.
For a moment, he merely stared at me while I did my studies, annoying me to no end. Though I tried to ignore the holes he bore into my face, he was just too bothersome. And I broke the little quiet between us after a minute.
"Inuyasha, do you have to stare at me?"
He looked startled, and then turned away, blushing red. Refusing to answer me directly, he muttered mostly to himself about apologies, wenches, and… Kikyo. I tried to pretend the last word mentioned didn't affect me, but a traitorous tear fell and gave me away.
"Aha!" He shouted, jumped, and pointed at me, all at once. But he didn't stop there, "I knew you were off bitch! I knew it!"
That idiot. I stood as well, losing my temper to match the volume of my voice with his, "There's no need to yell it out for the whole world to hear!"
"Then what are you doing it for?" This time he spoke with a normal speaking voice, and smirked.
I could feel the blood rush to my face from embarrassment and anger. So I ran from the campsite. Both to refrain from giving Inuyasha a sit that would break his ribs, and to hide my face from the questioning stares of the rest of the group.
I ran blindly throughout the dark forest. When any bit of definition came in my line of sight, I went in its general direction. And I eventually found myself at a moonlit meadow, filled with blooming flowers. They were all visible in the full moon.
It was such a beautiful sight that I forgot why I came here for a moment. Albeit, only a moment… as my reminder stepped up behind me, adding to my shadow on the ground.
I refused to speak to him and walked over to where there was the largest patch of flowers, bending over to smell them. There was an awkward pause, and tried to fight the next round of tears. I looked up to stop them from falling down my cheeks. I couldn't let him see me crying.
"I know you're crying, wench. I can smell your tears."
I lowered my head and wiped them away with the back of my hand. So much for that…
"Why did you follow me?" My voice squeaked slightly near the end, "I want to be alone, Inuyasha."
"Keh, knowing you, a demon would snatch you if I leave you alone for more than two seconds. That's why. So if anything, you should be thanking me for making sure you're okay!"
I don't know if it was because he didn't want to leave me alone, him thinking me that weak, or demanding gratitude, but what I do know, is that I snapped.
"Who do you think you are, treating me that way, Inuyasha! I know I'm not as strong as Kikyo, but I don't need you watching me like a little kid about to get stolen. And what's more: if you really love Kikyo so much and want to protect her from Naraku, go ahead and go. Just go, so I can get back to my home and pretend that you didn't completely change my life!"
The strange pause that overcame the opening before got even more tenuous. Once the words finally placed themselves in order in my head, I placed my hands over my mouth, hoping I didn't just say what I thought I did.
Inuyasha became silent, and an unreadable expression came across his features. His mouth opened slightly in an attempt to speak, and then bit down his teeth, whispering through them to me.
"Kikyo is coming."
I sighed. How could I compete with the woman he loved? I knew I shouldn't have yelled out my thoughts.
I got up to leave him and his beloved to talk about going to hell together, murmuring mostly to myself, "I should have known you'd pick her."
A force pushed down upon my shoulders, and I had to sit down again. I looked up and saw a fierceness in his eyes practically shouting verbally at me to stay.
"You need to hear this, Kagome."
At that instant, I felt her. I felt the borrowed piece of our soul pulling at me in a way I had never felt before. Something was wrong.
She entered the meadow to join us a second after I felt that tug on my heart. And she staggered, limped to where we were, sweating and gasping on the way.
"Inuyasha,… where you expecting me?" the voice was a small whisper, barely discernable from the wind.
She was fading away. The clay pot would not last any longer. The end had come for her.
I looked up, waiting patiently for Inuyasha's answer and my explanation to what was in his mind.
"Yeah, I was waiting for ya. I could smell you a while back, following us."
This surprised me. He knew she was following us? But why didn't I feel the pull before? Where was she this whole time?
"She looks confused. Why didn't you tell her? Did you hope I would go away?" Her whisper came louder now, upset in a way I didn't understand.
"No. I was thinking about what I want—"
"And what is that? The girl! She is nothing. If anything, you just want what I was, ME! You want me!"
It was all like a soap opera and I found myself hoping I had popcorn, but it also involved me, so I tried to pick up my jaw to answer them, and hope to put Kikyo at ease about something that was so wrong. He couldn't want me. I was just a copy of his former love. She must have known that.
"Kikyo, listen, you have this all wrong. He doesn't care for me like he does for you. This is all just a misunderstanding."
She turned her head to look at me for a moment, and then faced Inuyasha again, opening her mouth to respond to him, not me.
"You have not told her yet… Do so now. Since my body is decaying, the soul I stole shall return to her… We will be one again. I need to feel at peace Inuyasha, before I go back to the body we shared… Tell us both what is in your heart."
He had a shocked look on his face at the words, and I could feel my own jaw drop at the words. She was truly letting this happen.
Inuyasha turned around and looked up to face the moon. He kept his face at that angle, keeping silent for a moment. This was a definite challenge for him, having to confess his sentiments.
"Do it soon, Inuyasha. I can barely contain myself in this form. And I won't be at peace until I know where your true feelings lie," she was pressuring him, and whether he knew it or not, he fell for it.
"Fuck…Kikyo… I… don't want to go to hell with you anymore. I think I wanted to like you once. But that was a long time ago… And… now I want to stay with Kagome. She… is nice. And there is something about her that makes me want to stay and fight.
"Naraku is as dead as I could kill the bastard, but I want to help get the pieces of the jewel back together to destroy it. I don't want to be that vicious full-blooded demon. I could hurt Kagome…"
If I thought my mouth was already touching the floor before, it fell all the way down to Columbus this time. I couldn't believe that he had actually said all that and most likely meant it all. He did care about me. But Kikyo…
I turned my sight from Inuyasha's back now, and ran to catch a falling Kikyo. There was hardly any weight and it was quite close to catching the breeze if she were any less solid.
"Thank you, Inuyasha. Now I see that you do care for us… I'm going now. Kagome—" I nodded, showing her that I was listening, "Please… take care of Inuyasha. Show him the love I never could. And Inuyasha… show Kagome what you really meant to say…"
I didn't notice when he came to kneel next to me and look over Kikyo, but he was there. When I lifted my head, I almost drew back from the force of his blush.
A small sigh escaped her lips, and all that was left in my hands was a large pot, crumbling into ashes in the wind. I felt warmth fill me from within, and a sigh fell from my lips as well. I was whole again, but it was not like before. For some reason, I could remember a select few of Kikyo's memories. Some had the bandaged bandit named Onigumo in it. But they were mostly with Inuyasha. I knew now how Inuyasha and Kikyo met, first-hand.
My own memory returned in a second, and then I recalled Kikyo's last words. A blush rose to my cheeks when I noticed that she had revealed my secret in a way. Did he notice that too?
"Inuyasha, I… don't know wha—" he cut me off with his lips. They locked themselves gently onto my own, preventing speech.
It was a very sweet kiss. He seemed to be so reluctant to do any more than caress my lips with his own. But I didn't mind. If this was what he wanted to show me, I wanted to know more.
I parted my lips from his, and he followed for a little, brushing against me for a final time. Breathlessness was the only way to describe the feeling we both had. For him, it was most likely the fact that he had instigated it without meaning to. I had to set him straight.
"Inuyasha, what are you doing? You can show me what she meant now. You don't have to hide it anymore."
He blushed again, and mumbled slightly while he looked away, "I just did, wench."
I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to ask, "Do you really care for me; don't lie, I am so tired of you keeping what you feel from me. We've known each other long enough for you to trust me."
"Damn it, Kagome! Why do you make me say this again? I lo—care for you!" He said that looking me in the eyes for once. There was no lie. Only true feelings were in his amber pools.
"Show me."
"What?" he looked at me if I was crazy for a moment, and I felt a little doubt in myself.
But not enough to make me change my mind; I needed proof. "Show me that you do care, Inuyasha."
He stayed stiff, regardless of my words, so I took the only initiative I could: I pulled his lips to mine again.
After a moment of trying to get a reaction from him, he took my breath away by attacking my mouth and pushing his tongue in to dance with mine. While the kiss kept getting much more passionate than the first one, he took it a step forward by letting his hands wander on my body. My hips, my thighs, my breasts, his hands roamed it all to feel anywhere my skin was visible.
But even that was too innocent to his liking. He linked his arm to pull my arms up over his neck, while the other went up under my shirt to tickle my belly with his claws.
That caught my attention in a heartbeat. I dropped my arms slightly to his chest, and pushed until he was staring at me with wild, hungry eyes.
"What's wrong?" The voice coming from his lips was too rough, husky; it made my skin crawl with the need saturating every syllable.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can't go back to the way things were." I whispered from fright. Would he turn me down if I didn't want to go through a one-night stand?
Surprisingly, he chuckled, lifting a hand to rub up and down my arm, "I've wanted to do this for a long time…But…do you want this?" His question came out muffled from his attempt to keep calm and collected.
He must have been thinking that I would do the same thing.
Never…
I placed my hand under his chin, and forced him to look me in the eye.
"I've wanted you since I first let you free from the Goshinboku."
We joined our lips now without any hesitation. It was as intense as the last kiss, and this time, I repeated the actions he took at the time.
Our limbs tangled as we spun in the grass, trying to take the others clothes off while feeling the rush of adrenaline pump in our veins. Eventually, I found myself caressing his bare skin and pulling the fire-rat cloth of his torso. I had more practice at that than I thought. Inuyasha, on the other hand, was having the hardest time taking my bra off after having deliciously stripped me of my shirt.
I reached behind me and unclipped my bra as he looked about ready to slice it off. His expression changed as soon as I slid the straps off my arms. I couldn't read it though, and the fact that he kept staring at my chest made me squirm. The cold air hitting my breasts made the nipples tighten and hurt slightly.
"What?" my voice sounded uncomfortable and even defensive, I only hoped he didn't catch that.
"You're beautiful…"
He bent down and buried his face in between my breasts. Then he pulled a hardening nipple into his mouth. Heat coming from his mouth traveled from my chest to the area where my legs joined.
I tried as much as I could to be quiet in my moans, but when he switched to the other twin and lifted a hand to continue the circular motions on the neglected one, I yelled in pleasure. My arms flew up to his neck to bring him closer to me.
Even throughout the sparks he gave me, I could tell this was unfair to him, I used as much of my strength to roll us both until I was on top. I had to make things equal.
My hands found their way to his hakama, and I unwound the knot holding it tight. His fundoshi was already loose, so I only had to pull it down his legs to reach for the member pressing into my thigh.
He gasped and let go of my breasts, letting me slide down his body until I reached a very firm appendage at my throat. I pulled it into my mouth with my tongue, listening for any moans he made.
I sucked at the droplets leaking from the tip, and rolled his balls around in my hand, feeling his smooth and tight skin. A large hand came down and rubbed my head that I took as a plead to continue, as it kept me there. The moans and murmurs of my name made the heat in my thighs almost unbearable, until I became distracted by the sudden pulse and release of liquid heat hitting the back of my throat. It came at me so fast, no thought crossed my mind besides swallowing.
I licked any drops that escaped finishing when his hand found my chin and pulled it up to meet his lips. Groaning against him, I became more aroused by the passion behind the kiss until I had to rub my thighs together to lessen some of the heat.
He noticed and pulled away to look me in the eye with a mischievous grin. Then his hands created a path down my stomach to my thighs, and he spread them to his touch. This time his patience was not enough to let me shimmy out of my skirt or panties; he sliced them off my body.
"Inuyasha! I really liked- Ohh…." I wanted to keep yelling at him, but his tongue began licking between my legs and I had to moan from the tremendous feeling it gave.
After a few moments I unintentionally bucked my hips to try to bring him deeper in, he tensed tried to pull out.
"Don't stop… please…" My hands came down to pull at his hair and force his face deeper into me.
Heat continued to coil in my belly, amounting to something wonderful, and I wanted to reach it. When Inuyasha growled in a way that I could feel from every inch of my body, staring at my pearl, I saw sparks fly across my eyes.
It was like touching heaven and then coming down. I couldn't help it when that happened and didn't notice that I was the one yelling out my lover's name until it echoed back at me. While I was coming down from my high, he was still within the confines of my legs, pleasuring me with his tongue.
I could feel my arousal coming back again. This time however, I knew I would need something more to reach that same high.
As my hands were still within his silver locks, I pulled him up to face me. We kissed, dueling again with our tongues, my juices heightening the experience, until I wrapped my legs around his waist, and asked the immensely recognizable question. He tensed against me, and withdrawing from the kiss to lock his golden orbs with me instead.
"Are you really ready for this, Kagome? We can stop now, and no one else needs to know. There's a stream nearby so that not even Kirara will be able to tell what happened."
He truly meant it. Sorrow was hidden well within his eyes, but not enough to make me think he regretted what we had done. If I halted what we were doing now though, we might never get this far again. Our relationship would end at this, never knowing how far we would have really wanted to go. There was no way I wanted to go back to how things were. I had to make him see that I was his now, no matter what.
"I need this…not for me, but for us. I'm really ready, Inuyasha. I want to be yours."
"You could've just said yes, wench." He smiled lopsided at me, and I realized that I wanted to make him smile like that again. And again, and again…
"Yes, whatever- Ah…" He entered the head to tease me, and I felt heat pool in my loins.
"Please…I want to feel you in me…" I knew my voice was probably flooded with desire and pleading, but I could care less.
He responded, smirking at first, until he really began entering and his features twisted in effort and pleasure.
The way I could feel him stretching my muscles excited me in unthinkable ways; yet, there was something odd, uncomfortable, and painful about this intrusion. But I couldn't have him stop. The pleasure made it all bearable.
I yelled out when he hit my virgin wall. It halted all his actions immediately, and he stiffened again, as he seemed to be doing a lot of.
"Did I hurt you?" Even through the strain he tried to hide in his voice through the worry instead, I knew better.
"Yeah. It's just that this is my first time… and you're kind of big…." I whispered, feeling blood rush up to color my cheeks. "Keep going. The pain will stop once we get going, promise."
He nodded and continued pushing into me, this time without hesitation. Seeming to understand that the best way to get through this was the fastest, he broke through my hymen, situating himself fully inside of me.
It was so… so… I can't find a word for it. But one thing I can tell you is that I felt very full. Complete. Whole. Even more so than when I received my soul back from Kikyo.
Tears leaked from my eyes again. Inuyasha licked them all away, whispering sweet nothings into my ear to soothe me. Even through the pain, I felt mostly heat and satisfaction, but mostly want and need to finish. The tears were the only way to explain all that until my voice returned to me.
"Keep going."
There was no verbal response, but movement instead that sent my body spiraling into euphoria. I moaned.
The movement and rhythm he set at first became to slow for my liking and I moved my hips with his at a faster pace, until I couldn't keep up. His hand moved down between our slicked bodies to where my bundle of nerves was located at. Being aware of his claws, I moved carefully, and his knuckles began to caress my pearl.
The fire in body increased tenfold, and my walls clenched around him. Inuyasha grunted, and picked up the pace wasn't long until the familiar tightening in my lions finally gave way to orgasm, and with mine, came his.
The stars glowed faintly in my eyes for the best moments of my life. And the best part of my vision was his face in my line of sight. Moonlight reflected off his face in such a way that made him look like a god. There was no way he could be mine.
He didn't pull out of me for a minute, but instead scooped me up against his body. I felt the faint touch of lips at my shoulder and sighed, content at the events that had unraveled.
"I love you, Inuyasha…"
"I could say the same, wench."
The stars shone so bright…
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
I lifted my hand out of habit to the alarm clock. Though I admit I used more force to push the SNOOZE button than absolutely necessary.
"Kagome?"
I opened my eyes slowly, recognizing the voice calling to me better than my own. There he was, standing near my window with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Good Morning." I stretched my arms high over my head, feeling the joints pop silently.
"Wanna tell me what you were dreaming about?"
I sighed, knowing that he still felt as insecure as I did when we alone. He must have smelled my arousal. "I was dreaming about our first night together…" He released the breath he had been holding as he came to sit next to me on the bed. "And how worried I was before about Kikyo."
"Oh," He huffed, looking at me with those gorgeous, honey colored eyes, "You're not still worried are you?"
And with those words, I could tell he cared. Inuyasha was not like other guys that would randomly hug me throughout the day or tell me he loved me every night. But maybe that was for the best. After all, he knew better than anyone what I wanted, how I loved him, and how I was different from his former love.
"Not anymore." I murmured as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for my morning kiss.
I like this better. Thanks for reading.
