My next OS for Shingeki no Kyojin is out! This time, its a tear-jerking one. I hope it isn´t too bad. Enjoy and tell me what you´re thinking!
Eternal Love
"What is my diagnosis, Doc ?" Levi asked in a calm manner the man who stood in front of him with a stethoscope in his hands he was holding on his bare chest while Levi took a deep breath after another. The doctor listened to his heartbeat and his breathing for a long time, saying nothing so the only thing that could be hear was the ticking clock. After some seconds of silence, Levi could tell he hated this clock. Could this damn thing not be a little quieter ? More time passed where no one said a word. Levi used this time to study the other man. He possessed short grey hair, was strongly built and wore glasses. He mused that he was in his early 60´s.
"You can breath normally again." He nodded and stopped his deep breathing, was it after some time very tiring. Then, the doctor began to ran his hands over his chest to touch some spots of his body. While he did this, Levi´s gaze wandered around. The room he was in was very small, consisted it only a bed he was sitting on, a cabinet and some devices he could not name. Finally, after five more minutes, the man finished his examination while he watched his every movement.
It was a habit of him to watch the people around him with sharp eyes. People who gained his trust were very rare. The doctor sighed deeply. "You can put on your shirt." Without protest, he did what he wanted before he looked at the clock. Levi had not many time and this examination lasted too long for his liking. He was a very busy man who had to attend on important meetings. There was no time for visiting a doctor. When Erwin had not threatened to fire him, he would not be here.
Thinking of him, after his return, he would have to talk with the other man. No one dared to threaten him. His train of thoughts was interrupted as he saw how the doctor took his utensils in his bag. Had he forgotten his earlier question, he thought as he narrowed his eyes and repeated his question.
"What is my diagnosis ?" The man halted in his doings, froze in place, before he lifted his body and turned his head in the direction of Levi. His brown eyes were fixed on the smaller man who waited impatiently for an answer. After a long pause, the doctor sighed before he sat himself on a chair.
After Levi had left the hospital, he drove with his car back to the apartment he shared with a woman named Petra Ral, his girlfriend. Levi could say that he truly loved her and that it was always his wish to marry her at the right time. He opened the door to the apartment, only to notice that he was alone. Petra was working at the moment in the same cafe shop where they met for the first time.
It was not love at first sight.
Petra was the one who wanted to date him, and he said yes as after he denied her many times before. Her unbreakable will was something that amazed him. She was the type of woman that never gave up and he was, without noticing, drawn to her. Levi closed the door, put off his shoes and walked to the living room. He pressed the switch light, only to see a clean room, like all the rooms in the apartment. Since he was a child, he paid attention that his surroundings were as clean as possible.
The reason for this was simple.
As child, he nearly died after an infection because he was too careless after a terrible injury of his leg. His father had beaten him up after this, because the hospital cash was very high. Since this day, he washed his hands after he did something, showered every day and cleaned his apartment.
It was morbid.
Levi walked a few meters and entered the bathroom to wash his hands twice before he walked again in the living room to inspect it. For a normal person, it was very clean, but not for Levi. Without thinking long, he took the broom from the boxroom and began to sweep away all the "dirt" from the ground. Everything had to be clean.
It had to be.
Five hours passed where he cleaned the whole apartment to his cleaning standards. Not even a little bit of dust was allowed. He was so deep in his cleaning he did not heard how the door opened and Petra walked in.
"I am back, Levi."
Levi stopped with his doings and saw how she stood in the doorway with two bags in her hands. Seemingly, she was shopping with Hanji after work. He laid the brush aside and stood up from his kneeling position.
"Like I see, you´re cleaning again. Don´t you think it was clean enough ?" She placed the bags on the couch before she walked to Levi to kiss him on his lips. He retorted the kiss before he drew back. "It´s never clean enough." His voice was calm and collected like it always was. "Well, then I am preparing dinner. Or have you already eaten something ?" He shook his head. She had expected his answer. When he was in his cleaning mode, he forgot everything. Petra knew this side of him very well and accepted it. She did not love him without a reason.
"Alright, then I´ll do this quickly." She said before she stalked off to the kitchen. Levi watched with his eyes how she began to cook, before he looked again to the floor and clenched his fist.
Petra did not need long to prepare the dinner as both sat across from each other, eating in peaceful silence. While Levi stared at his plate, Petra looked from time to time to her lover before she decided it was time to ask the thing which occupied her.
"What said the doctor ?"
Levi felt how his hand clasped more around the spoon he was holding before he looked for the first time since dinner started to Petra. He saw deep worry in her hazel eyes. For a long time, he was silent. "The doctor said it´s just a cold. Nothing serious. You don´t have to worry." With his words, he continued eating as if everything was fine, but for Petra it was not. Even if it was just a cold, she was still worried about him.
"But you won´t take it easy, Levi. Even a cold can be dangerous." Levi only nodded, but said nothing as he stared to the soup to see his own reflection. His eyes showed nothing of the storm which raged in his body at the moment. He stood up from the table to take his dish away as he heard silent footsteps behind. The moment he took the plate in the dishwasher, he felt how Petra hugged him from behind.
"Please, take more care of yourself."
"Levi~ why are you in such a hurry ?" Hanji moaned as she tried to catch up with the black-haired male who literally ran over the asphalt. He did not look back or waited for her, no, he had other problems. But as she complained for the hundredth time, he had enough. "Shut up, shitty-glass!"
He hissed back to her, whereupon she silenced. Thankful that she did not say another word, he spotted his destination in form of a jewelery store. Levi pushed the door open, as he felt a sudden pain in his chest. It vanished after a few seconds. He did not pay much attention to it as he looked around in the shop for one certain thing as he heard how Hanji reached the shop too. "A jeweler ? What are you looking for ?" Levi did not reply as he found the object he was looking for. He regarded it while he turned it in his hand. Hanji neared from behind and looked over his shoulder.
"A ring ? Why haven´t you told me you wanted to buy something for Petra ?" He rolled his eyes annoyed by her statement before he walked to the jeweler to buy the ring and left together with Hanji the store. The two walked beside the street without talking, but she noticed how Levi clutched the box that contained the ring. Just this moment, Hanji realized the true meaning of the ring.
"Levi, I hadn´t expected that you want to marry her so early." A wide grin spread over her face as she laid her arm around his shoulder and dragged him to her side. "When will you make your proposal ?" Levi slapped her arm away from his shoulder before he turned around to her annoyed.
"Just shut up!" She flinched by his harsh tone. Hanji knew him for his vulgarian nature, but this time she heard something which did not fitted his character. She frowned."What´s up with you, Levi ? This isn´t you at all." Levi turned around to her before he rammed his fist in the pillar next to her head. "I fucking know it!"
"Then why are you so pissed ? When you marry her, everything is alright!" Her eyes bored in his as she waited for his response. He gritted his teeth before he walked away, let her standing dumbfounded beside the street.
"Levi!"
He did not react by her shouts as he walked to his car, entered it and drove away.
"Where are you going ?"
Petra asked him as she followed him through many narrow allies. He stormed in their apartment after he came back from work and told her that they would go out for this night. It was very untypically for him to go out with her, was he normally the type of man who preferred it to spend his time with his girlfriend alone and not in public. But it also pleased her to see that he wanted to do something with her.
They reached after a while a restaurant with the name Rose. It was a very big and seemed to be noble. Without answering her question, he entered together with her the restaurant to be greeted by a nice looking waitress behind the reception. Levi walked to her while Petra´s gaze wandered around. "We´ve reserved." The woman nodded before she looked at a book in front of her. "Name ?"
"Levi Ackerman."
She searched for his name for a short moment and smiled after she found it. She closed the book and left her place. "Please, follow me." The two did what was asked from them and followed the woman to a nice decorated table. When she saw the table, she blushed furiously. Both seated themselves and looked at the menu. Petra looked now and then to Levi who did not bother to look at her. Even if she should be happy that Levi was with her on a date, she had a oppressive feeling.
"Levi ?" This time, he reacted as he looked up to her with a questioning look. When Petra saw his demanding grey eyes, she blushed again. Even if she knew that she should not act like this in front of, she still did it. "Why are we here ?" Her question seemed to surprise him as he looked at her with a confused gaze. "You ask why ? Is it not allowed to me to go out with my girlfriend ?"
"No, I didn´t mean it this way. I just...you never did this before." An awkward silence developed between the two where no one said a word until Levi sighed. He stretched out his hand to touch hers. "Petra..." He seemed to be conflicted to continue as another waitress appeared. Both told her what they wanted and she walked away. "What did you want to say ?" Petra asked him with a faint smile. Levi looked at her for a long time before he shook his head. "Nothing important."
The food arrived early and both ate in silence. But he felt how she looked again and again to him but he refused to reply her gaze. After dinner was over, they left the restaurant and walked hand in hand over the asphalt. Petra had during the whole walk her eyes closed because Levi instructed it to her. After a while, they reached the nearest harbor. There, Levi halted before he let go of Petra´s hand and whispered in her ear.
"Now, you can open your eyes."
She did what he said and looked with her now open orbs around. It was a overwhelming sight for her. The star covered sky, the sea in front of them, the wind that played with her hair.
It was perfect.
Petra heard how Levi moved and turned to him to see that he was kneeling in front of her. Her eyes widened as she saw the small box he was holding while he took her hand in his. She had always dreamed from this moment and now it was time. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she looked down to her boyfriend.
"Petra...you surely know what I have to say." She nodded as she felt how first tears began to form on the corner of her eyes. When she was happy like in this moment, she could not suppress her tears. For the first time since she was together with Levi, she felt such deep happiness. "Yes..."
"Petra Ral...will you marry me ?" Without thinking, she nodded and he put the ring on her finger. Petra looked at it with teary eyes and the moment when Levi lifted his body from the ground, she jumped in his arms. Startled from her reaction, he stared perplexed down at her, only to feel how her tears soaked his shirt. Hesitating, he laid his arms around her and replied the hug.
"Levi, can you give me the documents for Mr. Pixis ?"
He nodded as he stood up from his chair and searched in the documents which laid on his desk for the wished paper. Three weeks had passed since his proposal and the wedding date came closer and closer. In one week, they would be married. After some searching, Levi found the document, lifted his head and stretched his hand out to give it to Erwin, his chief. Erwin took the paper and looked to Levi.
"Thank y-"
The blond-haired male stopped as he saw Levi´s face. He was alarming pale and his eyes were cavernous. Even his body seemed to have lost weight. He looked more dead than alive.
"Levi, are you alright ?" Deep concern could be hear in his voice as he asked him about his well-being. Unseen from him, Levi clenched his fist. "Yeah, I am fine." Erwin believed not a single word from his co-worker and sighed. "Levi, you know you can tell me when you´re feeling ill. I don´t want you to work when you´re in such a critical state."
"Erwin, I already told you that I am fine. You don´t need to waste your time worrying for me. The clients-" Erwin took a step closer to Levi. "The clients are second-rate. What really counts for me is your well-being." The dark-haired man sighed annoyed. How he hated it when Erwin acted like this. As if it could not be more worse, Hanji entered just in this moment the room.
"Levi~"
She said in a sing-song voice as she walked to the two men. Levi turned his head away. He did not want that Hanji saw his face too and said something like the mother hen Erwin. "Oh my god Levi! What happened to you ?" But to his bad luck, she had already seen it as she approached him and took his face in her hands. "You look like you would collapse every moment. Come on, let´s go ot the hospital!" She just wanted to drag him with her, but Levi refused it as he freed himself from her.
"No." Hanji frowned. "What do you mean with no ?" Levi took a deep breath as he felt against the pain in his chest, but to his luck, neither Hanji nor Erwin saw it. "I won´t come with you."
"Why would you do such a ridiculous thing, Levi. You´re an adult and should know that when you´re feeling very sick, you should go to the hospital." Levi raised an eyebrow and retorted. "Like you said earlier, I am an adult and I can decide if I go to the hospital or not."
"But-" Hanji tried but Levi did not let her the time to finish her sentence. "This was my final statement. Erwin, when you allow, I am going home." The blond-haired male nodded hesitantly. "S-Sure." Levi passed both, took his jacket and left without another word the office.
Again, he stood in the living room, but this time, the thought of cleaning did not cross his mind. He did not know why, but even if it was not clean enough for him, for the first time, he was tired of cleaning. Slowly, he turned around and walked to the bathroom to wash his hands twice, like he always did. The cold water met his also cold hands, but he could not feel the temperature.
He just wanted to turn out the water, as he felt how his whole body shook in pain. The pain in his chest was nearly unbearable, as he sank with a muffled sound to his knees. With his one hand, he clutched his chest, while he supported his weight with the other hand. He breathed hardly, every breath was difficult to manage. It felt like needles which bored themselves in his lungs.
No, not yet.
He thought to himself as he reached for the handle of the bathroom cabinet. After he had opened it, he searched rushed for his pills. Since weeks, he took them to suppress the pain, but seemingly, he needed more. As he found the box which was hidden in the rearmost part, he took it with shaking fingers. He just wanted to open it as his body shook more violently and he vomited blood. With wide eyes, he looked to the red liquid in his hand, before he clenched his hand to a fist. After his spasm was over, he took a pill and swallowed it wih water down. He waited not long as he stood up with shaking legs and began to wash and disinfect his hands and the floor. He could not risk that Petra got an infection.
After he was sure that he had disinfected everything, he put the box back in its hiding place before he stood up to left the bathroom.
In the evening, as Petra arrived, he laid sleeping on the couch in the living room. It was not a normal sight for her to see him asleep during the day when he normally cleaned, but she smiled as she acted as quiet as possible to not disturb his sleep. She put the shopping bags in the kitchen and began to put everything in the fridge. While she did this, she hummed softly. She would cook this evening Levi´s favorite meal. The moment she was finish, she heard footsteps behind her and turned around to greet her lover.
"How was your d-"
But she stopped as she saw his pale face and the sweat which covered his whole body. His shirt stuck on his body like a second skin and he looked awful. For the first time in her life, she was deeply shocked.
"L-Levi...what... ?" He ignored her stammer as he leaned forward and kissed her on her forehead. It was a short touch and he drew very quickly back. She stared at him in confusion, was this the first time where he did not kiss her on her lips. "How was work ?" He asked her in a calm manner while he avoided her questioning gaze. Petra frowned. "Levi, please speak with me. Are you sick ?"
"No." Levi denied bluntly before he folded his arms and leaned his back against the next wall for support. He felt again this weakness and he did not want to collapse in front of Petra. She seemed not to notice his curtain state as she shook her head. „Don´t lie at me. I can see very clearly you´re not feeling well." The black-haired male fell silent for a while as he lifted his head to look in her honey brown eyes. Levi knew that he could not tell her the truth, not yet. "I am feeling fine." He said with finality. Before she could say another word, he left the kitchen.
The night before the wedding, he could not sleep. Instead, he laid wide awake in the bed he shared with Petra. In the last week, he had lost more weight and his face showed now clearly traces of the illness he tried to hide. No matter what Petra said to him, he denied that she canceled the wedding. He wanted to marry her. His health did not matter. After he rolled more back and forth, he decided it made no sense to continue sleeping.
He stood up from the bed and walked with naked feet to his office. There, he sat himself behind the desk and searched for a piece of paper and a pen. He knew what he had to do. After he found both, he began to write.
"Petra Ral, will you Levi Ackerman love and honor as your husband, the marriage with him, lead by God´s command and promise, in good and bad times, and keep your loyalty until the death part you, so reply with yes."
Silence ruled the church as the guests waited eagerly for Petra to answer the question. She was very conflicted as she looked to Levi who looked very weak. His face was paler than the week before where she noticed it for the first time, but he had insisted to marry her today, no matter what she did. She bit her bottom lip as she took a deep breath. This day should be the best day in her life, but for the whole time, she felt nothing than worry for Levi. She forced a smile on her lips as she answered.
"Yes."
"Levi Ackerman, will you Petra Ral love and honor as your wife, the marriage with her, lead by God´s command and promise, in good and bad times, and keep your loyalty until the death part you, so reply with yes." Levi did not hesitate as he locked eyes with his love. "Yes."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
Petra smiled as she leaned forward to kiss Levi while he did the same. They were so close and nearly reached each other as it happened. Levi felt again the pain in his chest and froze. Before Petra could do something, he sank to his knees, with wide eyes. She stared at him in horror as she saw how blood left his mouth and he chocked. In the next moment, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell.
Silence was the only thing which could be hear as everyone stared at the broken form of Levi before one woman shouted. Then, everything was quick as Erwin and Hanji stormed to Levi´s side. Just this moment, Petra recovered from her shock as she cried.
"Levi!" Hanji did not hesitate as she loosened his necktie and positioned his body in the recovery position. She was a former doctor before she began her work by Erwin. Then, she took two finger and took the blood out of his mouth so he would not suffocate and began to revive him. While she did this, Erwin called for the ambulance. Only Petra did nothing as she simply stared to her lover who did not move since he broke down. Erwin finished his call and looked to Petra. "They will be here in ten minutes."
She nodded by his words, as she continued to stare at Levi. Hanji did everything to revive him while she did nothing due to the shock. In this moment, she felt useless. Petra did not hear it as the ambulance arrived and took Levi. She did not even notice how she, Erwin and Hanji followed. But before she could enter the vehicle, a man said he could only take one person with him. Petra did not hesitate as she spoke.
"Please, take me with you. I am his wife." The man nodded and made space for her. The moment Petra entered the ambulance, she heard Erwin´s voice. "We´ll meet you there. Please take care of him." She turned around to see how he and Hanji tried to look encouraging and forced again a smile on her lips. "I´ll be waiting for you."
They reached the hospital after seven minutes. Just this moment, she noticed all the utensils that were connected with Levi and the tube which guided down his throat after he stopped breathing. One of the paramedics had told her that Levi could not breath alone so they needed this to hold him alive. It pained her to see him in this state, but she knew that she could not do something to heal him.
She was no doctor.
The door to the ambulance was pushed open and two paramedics took Levi carefully out of the vehicle. She did not hesitate as she jumped out and followed them to the hospital. They passed the white corridors while she ran next to the litter on which Levi laid unconscious. With worried eyes, she eyed his face. It lacked every color which showed that he was alive at all. When she had forced him earlier in the hospital, all of this things had never happened. But she was too naive to believe he was alright. Now, she had to carry the consequences. The group reached a door where she was stopped by a doctor. "Please Miss, stay here and wait. We´ll do our best to safe him."
"But he needs me!" She nearly shouted as she spoke to the man. She could not let him alone while they tried to save his life. Levi needed her! He sighed before he showed to a chair. "Please, take a seat and wait." Petra did not want to do what was asked from her, but she knew she had no other choice. When she discussed any longer with the man, her chance to see Levi would dissolve into nothing. Reluctantly, she nodded and took a seat.
Minutes passed in which she stared to her hands, thinking about her mistake with the wedding. It was always her wish to marry Levi, but the price was too high. She did not want that he died because she allowed him to participate even though he was sick. She had seen how ill he was the whole last week, and had accepted his words. Was it because she wanted to believe that everything was alright ? She did not know.
"Petra!" She heard the voice of Hanji who shouted through the hospital her name. As she looked up, she saw her and Erwin walking in her direction. The moment they reached her, Petra stood up from her sitting position to face the friends of Levi. Again, she tried to smile, but it only ended in a grimace. Hanji gave her a sympathetic look before she hugged Petra.
"He´ll be alright." Now, she could not hold back her tears as she replied the hug. "Yes..." In the next moment, Hanji let go of her. Petra used this moment to wip her own tears away. Then, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Levi is strong." She looked up as she heard Erwin´s words, nodded and tried to gave him her best smile.
He did not reply it.
They all knew that they were lying at themselves. Levi looked horrible the last time they saw him and he vomited blood. Blood was always a bad sign and they all knew it. Nevertheless, no one wanted to say out loud that Levi could die because no one wanted to believe it. He was always a strong human-being and they could never believe that he could die because of sickness was this something that no one wanted to accept.
After all, Levi was a precious person for them.
Thirty minutes later, the door to the emergency room opened and they saw how three nurses pushed the bed Levi was lying on out. Immediately, Petra was at Levi´s side. "Levi, can you hear me ?" She asked him with a teary voice, but she received no answer. Petra continued to follow the bed until they reached a room. There, Levi´s bed was placed next to the window. She sat herself on the chair next to his bed, took his hand in hers and squeezed it to show that she was by his side. Again, she received no response. Footsteps announced the presence of Hanji and Erwin who walked to her side. Again, she felt a hand on her shoulder, but this time, it was Hanji.
"Everything will be alright."
She tried to comfort her, but nothing what she said would change something. Levi was unconscious and everything was her fault. When she had not agreed to this damn wedding, he would be alright. She did not notice how more and more tears left her eyes as she stared to her lover. And she did not know how long she sat by his side. When she looked up for the first time, she noticed that Erwin and Hanji were long gone. She turned her head to look out the window to see that it was dark outside. Just as she was wondering why no one had threw her out, a doctor entered the room and walked to her.
"Miss Ackerman."
Petra turned her head away from the window to look at the man. He was much taller than her and possessed short black hair that remembered her of Levi. By this thought, it was hard for her to not cry again. She took a deep breath to calm down her nerves and asked what was the question that was the whole time on her mind.
"What´s the matter with him ?" The doctor took a seat and looked with a sympathetic gaze to her. "It seems that your husband haven´t told you yet." She was confused. What did this man meant with this ? "What are you talking about ?" He sighed as he avoided her gaze before he looked again at her.
"Your man suffers on cancer."
Silence developed between the two. For a long time, no one said a word. "N-No...this is...impossible." She did not notice how she lifted her only free hand and guided it to her mouth to suppress a sob. "How many time has he left ?" The doctor closed his eyes.
"Not more than one week."
Days passed in which Petra stayed permanently by his side. She came when the visit time started and left when it ended. There was no day when she was not beside his hospital bed, holding his hand. Erwin and Hanji came too every day, but they could not stay as long as Petra did. One of the reasons was that they wanted that the two spent their time together. When they staid longer, it would be no good.
One day before Levi´s time was expired, the impossible happened.
She was again holding his hand when he opened his grey orbs. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she saw how he looked firstly at the ceiling before his gaze wandered to her. They stared at each other for several minutes, until Levi broke the connection.
"Levi ?"
She asked carefully as she squeezed his hand. Again, he looked at her with this grey eyes that showed so few emotion. He wanted to say something, but he could not because of the tube in his throat. Petra saw what he meant and stood up to remove it. She heard how Levi chocked as she took the tube in hands and began to pull it out. After it was done, he coughed roughly. His throat was dry and it felt as if the air refused to flow in his lungs. A loud beep could be hear through the room as his lung collapsed. Shocked, she stared at his dying form. Only seconds later, nurses and a doctor rushed in his room. They all looked to Petra who had still the tube in hands. The doctor scowled.
"Why didn´t you call for a doctor ?" She did not know how to respond, but the doctor simply ignored her as one of the nurses began to ventilate Levi. The doctor looked at his patient before he instructed the nurses to give him an oxygen mask. After Levi received the mask, the monitors calmed down. With a deep sigh, the doctor turned around to Petra.
"Next time, you call for us." She nodded reluctantly. He left the room while the team followed. Seconds of an awkward silence passed until Levi raised his raspy voice. "Are we now married ?" His question confused her and you could see it clearly on her face. Why was he asking this first ? Nevertheless, she nodded. "Yes, I am now Petra Ackerman."
For a short moment, she saw a new emotion in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. She saw how he tried to lift his body to sit upright and stood up to push him down. "You´re too weak for this, Levi." He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her. Instead of his normal ´Shut up´, he said nothing and let himself push back in the pillows. His body felt unnaturally heavy. He knew his time came to an end. "Why haven´t you told me that you have cancer ?"
Petra´s question brought him back to reality. He looked to the side, thinking what to say before he sighed. "When I had told you, you had not allowed me to marry you." She had expected everything from him, but not this. She let go of his hand and laid her hands in her lap. "Why did you want to marry me so badly ? You could have died."
"Do you really not know why ?" Now, his voice was cold. There was no warmth left. She shook her head. "Tell me." He looked again in her direction as he sighed and spread his arms out. "Come here." Petra did what he wanted from her and walked to him, only to be hugged from him. She felt how his body shook and how weak he was. It was the first time he showed weakness to her.
The next day, Levi died.
Petra was by his side when he passed away. When his heart stopped and the nurses and doctors wanted to revive him, she hold them back and told them that Levi wanted to die. He said it to her when he hugged her.
Hours after his death, she left the hospital. The funeral would be in two weeks and she had to prepare some things. This time she did not cry. The pain was too strong she felt dazed. It was hard to handle the emptiness in her heart and the loneliness she was feeling as she opened the door to their apartment. This time, it was different. There was no Levi who cleaned the whole flat or tried to cook. (He was miserable at this.) No Levi who would be annoyed when she brought her friends with her. No Levi who would wipe away her tears. No Levi who comforted her.
Just this moment, she noticed how important Levi became. He was since five years part of her life. And now, he was not there. Only the memory of him remained.
Petra did not notice how she ended in his office that she never entered before. She was always in the opinion that she had no business here. But now, she had the hope when she wished it, he would appear out of nowhere and say to her she should leave this room. Only to hear his voice for one more time. Slowly, she walked to the desk and looked if she could find something that would remember her of him. She searched through his belongings until she found a letter, addressed at her. Confused, she looked at her name before she turned the letter around to see a long text. It was Levi´s handwriting. She sat herself on the only chair in the room and began to read.
Dear Petra,
when you find this letter, I´ll be dead.
The doctor told me that I suffer on cancer and that I have only two month left. You can not imagine how shocked I was about this diagnosis. After all, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But how it seems, god is not on my side.
I feel how I get weaker and that I loose more weight with every passing day. I think you had already figured out that I am sick. Damn it, I did not want that you know it so early. I can´t stand it when you cry in front of me.
Tomorrow, we will marry. I can´t describe how happy I am that I can reach my goal. Perhaps it is not clear for you, but the reason why I wanted to marry you is because I possess a legacy. You surely know that my parents died long ago. But what I never told you is that they were very rich and that I never touched the money. When everything works, you´ll be able to access it.
Everything will be yours.
I very hope you not cry when you read this words. I know I am not good with writing, but I have the feeling that I´m not able to tell it to you personally.
You should know that I admired you since we met in this cafe years ago. You were so different from all the ones I met before. And I just notice that I never told you the words you were surely waiting for. I was never a man who could say this simply words without hesitation. But now, because I can´t say it to you anymore, I decide it´s time.
Petra Ral,
I´ll love you forever.
