The Warblers common room was filled with a casual atmosphere. After rehearsal, the boys tended to stay behind to just chill and hang out. Wes, David, Thad, Kurt and Blaine were chilling on the sofas chatting about their performance at Breadstix.
'Thanks for doing it guys.' Kurt smiled. Blaine looked at him, and the others looked at each other. 'Oblivious' they all thought.
'It was no problem, Kurt. I'm guessing they enjoyed it?' Wes answered. Kurt nodded, and the councillors and Blaine began an in depth analysis. Kurt opened his mouth to join in when his phone vibrated, once, then twice.
'Problem?' David asked as Kurt scrambled for his pocket. Pulling out his phone, he slid his thumb across the screen to see two texts, one from Mercedes and one from Rachel.
'I CAN'T BELIEVE HER! She goes behind my back to tell Sylvester of all people that I'm not talented.' read Mercedes.
'SHE IS JUST JEALOUS! I am so much more of a diva than she is, and that's why she goes to Sylvester and complains.' Rachel's was along the same line. Kurt sighed. What had annoyed them now? Santana? Quinn? Brittany? After sending back texts enquiring who the mystery person was, Kurt re-joined the boy's conversation.
'No, just McKinley girl trouble.' He rolled his eyes.
'Damn, I wish I had girl trouble of any sort.' Thad sighed. Wes and David snorted, Blaine hid his grin. Kurt's phone vibrated twice again, this time in his hand. Looking, he groaned.
'Trust me; you don't want this type of girl trouble.'
Blaine looked over his shoulder. 'What type is it?'
Kurt showed him his phone, as Blaine's eyes widened. 'Oh boy, that type.' He mumbled.
'Good thing this lot are here.' Kurt thumbed the councillors, his eyes twinkling. 'Gentlemen, I have another favour to ask.'
'Why did you want me to come here Kurt? I mean, it would be better for you to come to Lima.' Rachel was fuming. Kurt had dragged her to Westerville, for some reason he couldn't make it out of Dalton.
'Well, Miss Berry. After hearing my gushing about your impeccable talent, the Warblers wanted to meet the woman behind my solo audition.' He looked pointedly at her. 'No seriously, they wanted to meet you. They saw you and me at Breadstix.' He smiled at her. They arrived at the common room. 'Go on in, I need to go find Blaine.' He winked and waved, walking back towards the main body of the school. Gently, Rachel pushed the door, and walked in the room.
'Ah, here she is. Warblers, meet Kurt's best girlfriend, Rachel Berry.' Blaine introduced. Rachel smiled and waved before...
'Wait, Blaine? You're here? Kurt said he was going to find you...'
'Ok, white boy. I'll meet your boys... What the hell is she doing here?' Mercedes walked in the room.
'And this is his other best friend, Mercedes Jones. Gentlemen, take cover.' Blaine said shrinking into the corner.
'You damn right better take cover. I repeat Berry, what are you doing here?'
'What am I doing here? Kurt told me that this lot wanted to meet me. Although I was reluctant in the beginning because of our history with the competition he talked me into it.'
'I'm sorry, our history! It was your fault! We all told you Jesse was a spy, and you didn't believe us. You know what; you didn't even want to keep in contact with Kurt when he transferred. The first thing you said when he said he was leaving was 'Are you going to be competing against us at Sectionals.' How can you even call yourself his friend! You keep him out of the spotlight...'
'And you do any better? If Mr Schue picks me, you always say what about me? Never anyone else. And I'm not the one who messed with the Navigator last year when he said he was in love with me.' They were both to engrossed in yelling at each other to hear Kurt's groan. The Warblers snickered.
'And who did he pick to test out his sexuality? Neither of you!' Blaine piped in. The girls glared at him. Kurt just looked at him. Where are you going with this? He thought. Blaine continued, 'Are you two quite finished making spectacles of yourself? It's a good thing Dalton doesn't judge on first impressions, because between the two of you, you just ruined McKinley's.'
Both girls looked appropriately embarrassed as they looked around the room of smirking Warblers. Wes spoke up. 'The reason why you are here is because Junior Member Kurt Hummel asked us to help you. You are participating in a diva-off, whatever that is, tomorrow, are you not?'
The girls looked at Kurt with raised eyebrows. He just shrugged and didn't quiet catch their eyes. Looking at each other, the girls both agreed to give the Warblers a little lesson.
'Ok, whoa, hold up. First of all, whilst we are here, drop the formality; it does nothing to impress us...' Mercedes began.
'Second, a diva-off is when two singers duet in a song to see who has the better vocals for it, or when they want to have a smack down without injuring the other person, only their ego. That's how we solve issues at McKinley, although there has only ever been a need for one.' The two girls grinned at each other.
'Ladies, don't go there. Don't make me regret bringing you here.' Kurt had, however, spoken too late. And all his comment did was pique the Warblers interests.
'No, no, please, go on.' Cameron egged. 'Who began the tradition?'
'Well, last year, Mr Schue wanted to use Defying Gravity for Sectionals...'
'And he gave the solo to Rachel immediately...'
'Mercedes straight away challenged the selection, as I thought she would...'
'But the following day, someone else spoke up...' The two girls grinned.
'Who?' Thad asked.
'Blaine, you might want to move a minute.' Mercedes suggested. Confused, the boy moved closer to the council table and revealed a blushing Kurt.
'KURT!' All 15 Warblers looked in disbelief at the bright red boy, who was glaring at his two best friends.
'Thank you guys. Yes, yes, me. Helloooo, counter-tenor, I can easily hit the F.'
'Yeah, but you threw away the competition so your dad would stop getting anonymous phone calls.' Mercedes quickly shut up as Kurt glared at her.
'Wait, is that why you turned down Frank'n'Furter, Kurt?' Rachel asked.
Before Kurt could answer, there was a slight squeak from the councillors table. Blaine had grabbed hold of the table to keep himself steady. All the boys just snickered.
'Cedes, do you remember what you said to Rachel after I turned down that role? About preserving her in a jar in the basement? Dalton has a huge basement and no one will find you if the two of you don't shut-up! Do we or do we not have a number to practice?'
'What?' The boys and two girls stared at him.
'Do not deny me the chance to get my diva on...' Kurt pleaded with the girls, 'I am sick of being a ukulele.' He whispered, 'And the boys can give you feedback on your performance considering the fire has gone out between the two of you, thank god. So, I have a question for you. Do you want CD or vocal back up?'
The girls just looked at each other, smiling. 'Well... will they know the song?' Mercedes asked.
'That depends. I'm sure if it's Top 40 they'll know it...'Kurt muttered.
'Oh no, we're doing... Broadway.' Rachel grinned as Kurt squealed.
'Which and what? Which and WHAT!'
'Well, Blaine will know it. You saw it together...' Kurt's mouth dropped.
'You are not... That one?'
'Uhhh, which?' James asked. The light bulb flicked in Blaine's head and he started laughing.
'Nice choice. Very... fitting. I guess Kurt will want to sing along in rehearsal. Yeah, these guys just know it.' The three divas smirked.
'Warblers, are you willing to accompany us?' Mercedes cast her eyes towards the council table. The three boys in charge nodded.
'Well then, Blaine, Kurt? You'll kick us off?'
BAM
Bam, bam, bam
Yeah
Bam, bam, bam
Yay, Oooooh
Bam, bam, bam
Rolling their eyes, the Warblers quickly picked up the song, and began harmonising. Mercedes and Rachel looked at Kurt, clearly shocked by how quickly they can sound good together. He just shrugged. Having a large repertoire prepared them for anything.
BAM
Ooh-ooh
Bam, bam, bam
Ohhh
Bam, bam, bam
Bam, bam, bam
Every single day
I walk down the street
I hear people say
"Baby's so sweet"
Rachel was in full diva mode. This may have been rehearsal, but it was a performance, and why not scare the competition whilst they were here. But she wanted to have fun as well. Walking through the Warblers, she interacted with them.
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys, girls
I can't help it baby
So be kind
And don't lose your mind
Walking over to Kurt, she wrapped her arms around him, before ruffling his hair, earning a swipe.
Just remember
That we're your baby
Going back to Mercedes, she pointed to the two of them, and Kurt couldn't help but smile.
Take me for what I am
Kurt popped up in between Wes and Thad, who jumped.
Who I was meant to be
He then moved to in between Wes and David, before shocking everyone in the room and climbing onto the council's table.
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Winking at the girls, he jumped from the table and landed straight in front of Blaine, and the girls quickly flanked him.
Take me baby or leave me
Kurt used his finger to tilt Blaine's chin up, singing straight at him, before moving away again.
A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs his stage
Kurt plastered himself to the wall of the Warblers common room, before wrapping himself in the curtain with just his eyes poking out. Rachel and Mercedes laughed, just as he threw the curtain away in full diva mode, pulling his signature hair flip.
Baby, let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks would kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, now baby
All three singers looked at Blaine, who blushed. Kurt walked over to him again, and crouched down in front of him, twisting so he looked upside down at the lead singer.
So be mine
And don't waste my time
Cryin', "Oh Honeybear
Are you still my, my, my baby?"
The three singers rejoined in the middle of the room, and sang to one another, smiles on their faces.
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Staying in their little circle, they began revolving around in, stepping in time to the music.
No way, can I be what I'm not
But hey, don't you want your girl hot?
Don't fight, don't lose your head
'Cause every night, who's in your bed?
Who, who's in your bed?
Kiss, pookie
Kurt broke away from the two forcefully, spreading him arms out, face down, eyes clenched. The two girls giggled at his theatrics, and some of the Warblers cracked smiled.
That's it! The straw that breaks my back
I quit, unless you take it back
Women, what is it about them?
Can't live with them or without them!
Kurt wrapped his arms round the two girls, rolling his eyes, and pretending to throttle them as they tried to carry on singing whilst laughing.
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
(Who I was meant to be)
And if you give a damn
(And if you give a damn ya better)
Take me baby or leave me
(Oh take me baby, take me or leave me)
Take me baby
Or leave me
Guess I'm leaving
I'm gone!
Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes fell onto one of the couches laughing so hard they were crying.
'Why haven't we sung that song before? It's s-s-so perfect!' Rachel squealed. Neither Kurt nor Mercedes could respond due to their laughter, and if Blaine hadn't been so confused by the messages Kurt kept sending him during the song, he would have joined in. The Warblers looked just as confused.
'Um, yeah guys, that was a great performance guys, but why was it perfect?'Jesse asked.
Rachel and Mercedes stopped laughing immediately, whereas Kurt just groaned.
'Jesse, go figure.' He muttered.
'Kurt, how much have you told them?' Mercedes asked.
Kurt cringed under the eyes that swept round to him. Only Blaine looked sympathetic, everyone just looked curious.
'Told us what, Kurt?' Wes asked.
'Only Blaine knows the entire thing.' Kurt muttered.
'THERE'S MORE!' Rachel and Mercedes screeched. Kurt recoiled, and Blaine quickly shot to his side, wrapping an arm round his waist.
'You need to understand something here, ladies….'
Mercedes cut him off. 'We don't need to understand anything, Blaine. All I understand is that clearly, even though we were his friends first, he still wants to keep stuff from us!' Blaine was beginning to boil now. If this was her reaction, no wonder he kept it from them.
'I don't even know why we stayed to be honest. You are the enemy, in my opinion, no matter who is here.' Rachel glared at Kurt. 'Besides, you seem to have made your decision.'
'How can you even say that? He is one of your best friends! Just because I can relate slightly more…'
'You were bullied as well, so what!'
'Whoa, now hold up here…' Wes and David began to come to Blaine's defence as his face dropped.
'KAROFSKY THREATENED TO FUCKING KILL ME. There, are you happy now! And don't even think about getting in Blaine's face, because he is the only person who stood up to Karofsky for me. Telling the boys to attack him? Rachel, for god's sake, you have two dads!'
'Please tell me you mean dad and step dad...' Blaine whimpered. Rachel had fallen silent. All the Warblers were looking at her.
'Tell them, Rachel. Tell them!' Kurt was now the one glaring at her. Mercedes looked like she wanted to say something, but Blaine's face kept her quiet. Rachel shook her head, she couldn't do it.
'Did you tell them? What was going on with me? I didn't think so. Don't you think Hiram and Leroy could have helped me? For goodness sake Rachel, most of those boys in glee club were homophobic last year!'
'Rachel has two gay dads... that is so typical.' Blaine was astounded. Kurt was upset. The Warblers were annoyed.
'Rachel, Mercedes, we've helped you out. But you seem to be outstaying your welcome. I suggest you leave.' Wes said; eyes hard as he looked at the girls.
The two looked at Kurt who was trying to keep himself and Blaine together. It was the first time they had seen Blaine's facade crack.
'Take me or leave me, girls. And you left me. Now leave.'
