Hey! This is Miss Kisharoo, Captain of Wigtown Wanderers. My pairing is HarryXCho. I hope it's okay!
One Last...
I closed my eyes and kissed him – kissed him. I'd sworn that I wouldn't do it. I'd sworn that my lips would never touch anyone else's. Like a child playing house, unaware of the hardships of the world, I thought that Cedric would be the person I'd spend the rest of my life with. There was no question in the matter. He had been perfect for me. He still was perfect for me.
Cedric was such a nice person. He always made sure that my needs, and the needs of others, came before his own. He had been kind, loving. His kisses had always expressed his love for me, and the look in his eyes always made my heart skip a beat. I'd liked him for a long time, but there was a fine line between liking and loving, and that line had been crossed once he finally began to show his feelings. Cedric protected me.
But, I realized, Harry would do the same. He was just… different. He just wasn't Cedric. So why did he make me think of Cedric? Why did he make me remember the day when delightful music filled the air, echoing gaily across the area? Why did he make me remember when smiling faces had turned sad and tearstained? Why did he make me remember when I'd screamed Cedric's name with tears streaming down my face?
Because he'd been there. He'd seen Cedric die. He'd seen the light go from Cedric's eyes. He'd seen Cedric go limp and cold…
Maybe that was why I pulled away, or tried to. I pulled my head back, but he pressed forward, making our lips brush and sending them into a split-second connection. I wanted nothing more than to indulge myself and feel him again. I wanted to dive into a truly passionate kiss. I wanted to lock myself into him and feel his warmth against me. But it was impossible. I told myself that it was each day, and yet the emotions wouldn't leave.
I'd sworn that I didn't feel any attraction to Harry. I'd tried to ignore it for the months that we were together, trying to act oblivious and look away from him when our eyes met, and my cheeks went red. A part of me wanted to chase him away and make him leave, but another part made me want to confess. I didn't want to feel my guilt any longer.
So I tried to distance myself from Harry, convinced that, if I didn't come close to him, I'd stop wanting to feel him. Maybe I'd stop dreaming of our first kiss. Maybe I'd stop imagining the taste of his lips. Maybe I'd stop wanting to discover what another kiss would offer. It was a foolish way of thinking. All that I wanted was to press my lips against Harry's and no one else's. I didn't love Cedric anymore, and maybe I never had. Maybe I was just being childish.
And yet, the more that I yearned for his kiss, his love, and his presence, the more that it seemed to fall away from my grasp. I'd reach for it and let it brush me, then let it go in my guilt, until it finally drifted away, so very far away, and there was no way I could touch it again.
Because we were falling away from each other.
Each day, tears slid down my cheeks and confliction flowed through my every being. I couldn't make up my mind until he was already falling out of love with me, and by the time I realized what I wanted, we were already so far away from each other. He had already fallen out of love with me, and I was in his shoes.
There were so many questions during those days – questions about what I was supposed to do, questions without answers, questions without meaning, questions that resulted only in tears. I cried so much back then, still a child, still so fragile and emotional, still so confused, but years later I finally realized what I could do.
I'd missed my chance and that was that, and it was time for me to go off on my own and plan my own future. Chances were, I'd never see Harry again – he'd probably be too happy with Ginny to even think of me – and I would just be a person he'd be embarrassed to remember. It would always be best if we kept our distance from each other, I decided.
But we fell back together.
The day that Cedric had died, we found each other again. I've always said that it was a sign, and that Cedric brought us back together.
The gray stone at Cedric's grave was damp with rain, some of which clung in my hair as I felt the stone's angles. I wondered how different it could have been. I wondered if we would have stayed together if he was still alive, or if I actually would be with Harry right now. Or, if I'd feel a different hole in my heart because it was Harry who had died.
No, I told myself, you're being foolish again.
If Harry had died then, Cedric and I would be dead by the cruel hands of Voldemort and his followers.
With a sigh, I shook the rain from my hair and stood, rearranging the flowers at Cedric's grave before taking my leave. It just so happened that I wasn't watching where I was going, and I'm sure that it was the same for Harry. So we collided, literally fell, back into each other. My hand landed on his chest, my eyes locked with his, and my head fell forward. Our lips brushed. They only needed that tiniest bit of incentive, just the smallest amount to bring us back together. This time, it was I who did it.
We connected in a kiss. It was exactly how I'd imagined it, exactly what I'd wanted. I pressed my body against his, I tasted his lips, I vented all of the love that I'd wanted to show but hadn't been able to. And then, just like that, it was over. But that was okay.
All I'd needed was that one last kiss.
