Well heres the deal. My mum LOVES John Cougar Mellencamp. Just loves him. So, after drowning me in his music, some of it's grown on me. The Authority song is one of those songs. When I hear it, I am unwillingly reminded of the Marauders. I just cant help it! I always imagine James and Sirius singing it! So, finally, I decided I would get the whole idiotic idea down on paper (well, not paper, but you get the picture). Cheesy? Yes. Corny? Definately. Cliche'd? Beyond belief! But alas, I still love it. So here you go! It's written like a play with stage direcions (which I know nothing about, so sorry if it's confusing!). Oh! and now I have 2 disclaimers!
I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS!
I DO NOT OWN THE AUTHORITY SONG OR JOHN MELLENCAMP!
k thnx!~
COMMENCE SCENE:
It's late afternoon on a Saturday. The corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are empty. Most of the students are in Hogsmede for the day. Others spend their time basking in the shade of large trees outside by the lake, or staying in the cool dormitories. However, a small group of students are not so lucky. The Marauders; James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew, along with Lily Evans are serving detention this afternoon under the watch of Professor McGonagall.
MCGONAGALL
Alright you five, settle down and be quiet. I have some errands to run for Dumbledore, so I'll be leaving you here for a moment. Do anything, and I'll know. The door will be locked. Now, if you'll please, come up one at a time and drop off your wands.
They all proceed to drop off their wands on her desk, and she places them all in her cloak's inside pocket before walking out of the room.
LILY
I don't believe this is happening. I never get detention. EVER!
She looks around in a state of panic. Then resting her eyes on James Potter, here eyes narrow.
He just has to be such an unbelievable jerk.
SIRIUS
Oh Evans, how typical.
LILY
Excuse me?
SIRIUS
Why don't you just face the facts? You're so obviously one of us! You act like such an innocent little girl. But you and I both know that you're going to end up becoming a fellow Marauder and get yourself a badass boyfriend who you can play crazy pranks with. Not to mention, you got yourself in detention.
He smiles knowingly at her.
LILY
Fat chance, Black. Potter and I are never gonna happen! And I was only doing the right thing! I shouldn't be punished for doing the right thing!
Enter James, Peter, and Remus.
SIRIUS
Eh, authority's always out to make a mess of us. You learn to live with it.
LILY
But I'm not against authority! I AM authority! I'm a Prefect.
REMUS
That doesn't mean a thing Lily. You might be a Prefect, but you're also a naturally good person. Prefects are supposed to enforce the rules no matter what. But-
JAMES
But, sometimes there are exceptions to the rules.
REMUS
And when there are exceptions-
SIRIUS
It's our job to break the rules!
JAMES
Even if it means a silly detention!
Peter nods his agreement, but Lily looks skeptical.
LILY
S'that what you call what you did yesterday? An exception? You think that was noble? There was nothing right about what you did.
SIRIUS
There was nothing wrong, either!
JAMES
It was just a little fun!
LILY
Fun!? You stupid grinning prat! You nearly-
JAMES
Like I said. Fun!
LILY
You're unbelievable. You can't go one day without breaking the rules. It's like you purposefully do things just so you can get into trouble.
JAMES
More like, administration purposefully sets rules just to keep us from having fun!
SIRIUS
Really Evans, that's your problem. You need to loosen up!
JAMES
Chill out!
SIRIUS
Hang out!
BOTH
Have fun!
(Authority Song) Music begins. Remus and Peter push desks out of the center of the room.
JAMES: "They like to get you in a compromising position
They like to get you there and smile in your face."
SIRIUS: "They think they're so cute when they got you in that condition
Well I think it's a total disgrace!"
[Chorus:]
BOTH: "I fight authority, Authority always wins
I fight authority, Authority always wins!
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I come out grinnin'
I fight authority, Authority always wins"
A short instrumental interlude. Lily folds her arms.
LILY
You're the one who puts yourself in that position. Authority's not out to get you!
James shakes his head and continues.
JAMES: "So I call up my preacher (he goes down on his knees)
I say 'Give me strength for Round 5.'
He said-"
Sirius quickly pulls on his long black robes and pretends to hold a bible.
SIRIUS: " You don't need no strength, you need to grow up son!
JAMES: " I said 'Growing up leads to growing old and then to dying
And dying to me don't sound like all that much fun.'
So I say…"
[Chorus:]
BOTH: "I fight authority, Authority always wins
I fight authority, Authority always wins!
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I come out grinnin'
I fight authority, Authority always wins"
Another musical interlude. Lily seems to be contemplating.
LILY
Growing up doesn't mean you're gonna drop dead James! It's a part of life! You have to do it sooner or later.
JAMES
But Lil's, what's the rush? Who knows how much time we have to enjoy ourselves! What's that sayin' Remus?
REMUS
That would be Carpe Diem, James.
JAMES
Right! Seize the day Evans!
He spins on his heel and finds one of the desks behind him. He then starts drumming on the desks, followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
JAMES: " Say, Oh No!"
SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"
JAMES: " I say Oh No!"
SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"
JAMES: " Say, Oh No!"
SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"
JAMES: " I fight authority, Authority always wins
I fight authority, Authority always wins!"
ALL: " I been doing it since I was a young kid
I come out grinnin'
I fight authority, Authority always wins"
Lily smiles in spite of herself, and begins to sing along.
[Chorus:]
ALL: "I fight authority, Authority always wins
I fight authority, Authority always wins!
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I come out grinnin'
I fight authority, Authority always wins"
They repeat the chorus three more times, and the camera zooms out of the classroom as the music fades. The muffled sounds of the Authority Song can be heard from the empty corridor. (Or they could, if anyone was there to hear it.)
END SCENE.
