Title: The Unexpected
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Challenge: The Death of____ Challenge by Tristianna Taylor from /
Summary: What if Tony was in his car when it blew up in "Bury your Dead"? How will it affect the team?
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"Everything comes too late for those who only wait"
~Elbert Hubbard~
No amount of training could have prepared the team for the day they would have to process a crime scene with the possibility the victim could be one of their own. Ziva herself had never expected to suddenly forget all her training as she stepped out of the car. Luckily she had not been the one driving for once because she might have forgotten a simple skill like driving as well. Ziva glanced at the rest of the team and she knew she was not the only one feeling the way she was. As they headed towards the crime scene everything felt as if it slowed down. Ziva felt her Mossad training kicking in as she felt herself drifting away from what was happening. She felt her body go on auto pilot. This was not something she had expected to feel. Ziva had seen so many bodies in her time at Mossad and NCIS. She probably had inflicted just as much death and destruction in her time as a Mossad field agent. She thought back to the many times she had threatened death to Tony with something as simple as a paper clip. She had declared so many times that she could kill a man a million ways with just a paper work. Now as she walked towards the car that could possibly hold the body of her partner she wished she could take it all back. She wished for one more chance to tell Tony that she would never have actually killed him.
"Ziva," Gibbs snapped, which brought Ziva out of her thoughts before she could detach herself even further.
"Yes Boss," Ziva choked out, and immediately hated herself for the amount of raw emotion that came out when she spoke.
She discreetly glanced around her surroundings and noticed she was the only one with Gibbs at the moment. She felt relief wash over her that it had only been Gibbs who had seen her brief emotional outburst. If it had been anyone else she might have died of embarrassment. However, Gibbs had already seen Ziva at her worst.
"Go help McGee with pictures," Gibbs told her gently.
Ziva quickly grabbed a camera from the car before she headed over to the crime scene. As she walked she immediately slipped behind a blank expression. It took all of her Mossad training and then some to keep her emotions at bay. She began taking pictures of the surrounding area of the crime scene. She silently hoped no one noticed that she was doing everything she could possibly do, short of running away, to take pictures everywhere but near the charred remains. In fact it was taking all of her control to suppress her urge to leave the scene behind and hide somewhere for as long as she could. Ziva sighed knowing her reaction had to be worse than the rest of the team.
She had always known that she had felt an attraction for her partner. She had felt it from the moment she had met him. She had spent so much time trying to convince herself that what she was feeling wasn't real. It couldn't have been real. Then when Tony had started spending a lot of time at the hospital she had realized that she couldn't fight what she was feeling. She had been about to reveal her feelings to him when she found out he was in a serious relationship with a doctor and that had been the reason he had always been at the hospital. Ziva couldn't help but curse Jeanne Benoit. If she had never been in the picture then Ziva wouldn't have to photograph the possible crime scene for the death of her partner.
"Do you believe in miracles Ziva?" McGee asked.
"It's not part of my training."
"It might not be Tony."
Ziva hoped with every fiber in her body that McGee was right and that the body before them was not Anthony DiNozzo. Except there was a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that told her she knew it was. She ignored that voice with all her might as she suppressed it in the back of her mind under lock and key. She did not want to think that way until Ducky identified the body as Tony. Ziva suddenly found herself standing over the remains and she immediately shied away from the sight. It was then she noticed something out of the corner of her eyes. She leaned over and found what looked like Tony's badge that he had been issued from NCIS. She opened it and the first things he noticed was a half burnt picture of Anthony DiNozzo. She showed it too McGee and watched as he fought to hold on to the little hope he had left. She pulled it back away from McGee as she rubbed off some of the dirt and grime that had covered the badge from the explosion. She traced the badge with her fingers wishing this nightmare would just end. Every fiber of her being wished for a miracle that McGee had been talking about hoping that it hadn't really been Tony in the car when it had exploded.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
As Ziva sat in the squad room entering what little evidence they had uncovered at the crime scene she realized it was the first time the entire squad room was completely silent. The only sounds that could be heard was a phone ringing every once in awhile, but whoever answered had to be talking in hushed tones because Ziva couldn't hear a thing. A paper could have fallen and it would have been heard hit the floor. Ziva thought back to what she had thought and on her own realized that it wasn't a paper that dropped. It was then everything hit her. For so long she had tried to be annoyed whenever Tony had corrected her misuse of American Idioms. Now that it was possible he would never be there to correct her again she found herself missing it. She wished he would just walk through the door and start teasing her. She wouldn't have even minded if he came into and started to snoop through her belongings for clues about her personal life. She just wanted Tony to be safe.
"Ahem."
Ziva heard McGee clear his throat and realized that he was standing in front of her desk. He wore a concerned expression over his face. Ziva knew that it wasn't Tony he was concerned about anymore, he was concerned about her.
"Sorry McGee," Ziva apologized, "Did you find something?"
"Not yet," McGee replied, "You should take a break you've been at it for almost three hours straight."
Ziva hadn't realized she had been sitting at her desk for so long. She wondered how long she had actually been focused n the case and not thinking about her partner. McGee produced a Caf-Pow from behind his back instructing her to bring it down to Abby and stay down there for awhile. Ziva nodded taking the cup from McGee. She was grateful that he was handing her a easy way to get out of the office. She knew she wouldn't have tried something like that on her own.
"Thanks McGee," Ziva said quickly before she fled the squad room.
She opted out of taking the elevator and instead practically ran down the stairs taking them two at a time. Not even five minutes later Ziva was entering Abby's lap. As soon as the Mossad officer entered the lab she felt herself collide with the gothic forensic scientist. Abby wrapped her hands around Ziva and they stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. Ziva couldn't help but wonder how the other woman knew what she had been feeling inside all day. Or maybe Abby hadn't known at all. Maybe Abby had just needed a hug herself. Ziva didn't care she relished the feeling of security that she felt at that moment. She pushed away all thoughts and only thought about comforting the woman in her arms. And for the first time since before her little sisters death, Ziva hugged Abby back instead of the one arm hug she had usually provided.
"Why hasn't Ducky said if it's Tony or not," Abby complained.
"Ducky is just covering his plates," Ziva replied, attempting to comfort her, "He doesn't want to be wrong on this one."
"You mean covering his bases?" Abby asked, smiling lightly for the first time all day.
"Bases are for baseball, yes?" Ziva asked, "Ducky isn't playing baseball."
Ziva did not know what she had said that was so funny but she was glad that it had earned her a smile from Abby. It was not up to Abby's usual smiles, but it was something. She somehow felt a little better herself because she had been able to cheer her friend up. However, the moment for happiness was short-lived as seconds later both Abby and Ziva received texts from McGee to meet him in the morgue because Ducky had the results ready. Ziva felt her heart skip a beat wondering briefly if ignorance really was bliss or was it torture.
"I don't know if I can do this," Ziva admitted to Abby out of nowhere.
"I'll be right here with you Ziva," Abby said softly, as if she had known what Ziva was thinking, "We can do this together."
Ziva nodded, hoping that Abby being right by her side was going to be enough to help keep her emotions in check if the body really was Tony. She had never prayed or wished for something as important, but she was praying to whoever would listen in her mind that the body wasn't Tony. Ziva and Abby walked down to meet Ducky and the rest of the team in silence. Abby grabbed Ziva's hand and squeezed it tightly when they neared the doors to the morgue. Ziva squeezed Abby's hand back gratefully. As they headed into the morgue it was if their hands had been super glued together because they couldn't seem to bring themselves to let go of the other. This did not go unnoticed by Gibbs, but he remained silent knowing his team needed all the support and comfort they could find. He himself came up behind them placing a hand on each of their shoulders in support. McGee was the last to arrive and he took his place on the other side of Abby grasping her free hand in his own.
"What did you find Ducky?" Gibbs asked quietly.
Ducky seemed to avoid announcing the identification of the body right away and instead went on to announce certain clues he had collected from it. Ziva found herself having a hard time concentrating on what Ducky was saying. Half of her wanted Ducky just to come right out and say whether it was Tony or not. The other half of her almost didn't want to know. It had been the same way when her little sister Tali had been killed in a bombing back in Israel.
"Ducky the point," Gibbs snapped.
"I do apologize the reason it took me so long was because I wanted to be positive that I had the right identification," Ducky sighed, as he stared at the ground, "This is indeed the body of Anthony DiNozzo."
Ziva stared blankly into space when the words that Ducky had spoken finally hit her. She felt the blood that was racing through her veins become ice cold. Her entire body felt numb. For so long she had been trying to hold onto hope that it hadn't been Tony in that car, but now Ducky had crushed her hope without even realizing. Tony really was gone and he was never going to come back. Ziva did not think she could handle it. There was still so much that she had left to say to him. She had never gotten the chance to tell him how she really felt about him. But then again that was how the saying went. You don't know what you have until you have lost it. She felt Abby squeezing her hand tightly bringing her back to reality. She was glad when she saw that no one was staring at her. Everyone in the room was lost in their own little world. It was then that she noticed that Jenny had joined them.
"I'll have to…"
"No Jen you can't reassign it," Gibbs snapped, cutting the director off, "He's one of us. You can't let someone else handle this case."
Jenny looked as if she was about to say something, but Ziva did not wait around to find out what it was. Something snapped inside of Ziva and no matter what she did she couldn't push the feeling back down again. She wanted to tear something apart so bad. She did not want to spend days following dead end clues. She wanted revenge. Rage was the lone emotion that her eyes conveyed. Ziva pulled away from Abby and ran out of the morgue. She ignored the calls of protests from her fellow team members. She didn't stop running until she found herself in the gym in another building tearing into a punching bag with all her mind. She let out all of her rage into every punch and kick that was delivered. The gym around her became dead quiet as they watched in horror as she took out every ounce of anger she had in her. On a good day none of the agents had ever wanted to cross the Mossad agent, but now as they saw her losing control most of the room had backed up not wanting to come into any contact with her. No one was brave enough to stop her from shredding the punching bag to pieces. She did not stop until well after the bag had fallen off the chain binding it to the ceiling. When she stopped her breathing was labored and she was exhausted from everything she had been through that day.
"Ziva," Gibbs said from behind her.
"I'm sorry for running out like that," Ziva apologized.
"You know how I feel about apologies," Gibbs reminded her.
"I know."
"Let's go," Gibbs told her, "We got to go catch a killer."
Ziva nodded before following Gibbs out of the gym. She would just have to put her feelings on the back burner. Now it was up to them to find the person or persons responsible for the murder of their fellow team mate. Ziva knew she wouldn't rest until they had been caught or killed. Though their death was looking like the better option with every step she took.
