Living in one moment
This idea came to me after re-watching all of the Harry Potter films and especially after seeing the final movie. It was so sad but happy at the same time. Knowing your childhood is over is a funny thing; I swear we are the only generation which can point to a moment in time (watching the final Deathly Hallows) and say "That is when my childhood ended." This is what would have happened if (God forbid) Harry had not come back to life after Voldemort killing him. They all know they are going to die but they still fight as they refuse to go willingly. It is done in Ron's POV and is about the loss of his best friend and hurting the girl he is in love with to save her life. I will tell you now this version of events does not have a happy ending.
This life were in, it is a war. We were brought into to fight, as soldiers. There is no happy ending, no love conquering all. Just sacrifice. I want to make the right choice; I want to cause as little pain as possible. But how can I? I have watched my best friend die. Die so that we can live. How can I stand here and call myself a hero. How can I choose what I want when so many others have died for it?
"I'm not leaving without you." That is what she told me, the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. The world was falling apart around us and all I saw was her.
I knew I had to stay, I couldn't leave. Harry was dead. He was more of a brother then a friend and I lost him. I wish I could tell him how much he meant to me, how much I will miss him. We will die. Voldemort will win. But we will not give in. Is it noble to fight when we know we will loose? I will stand there and die for Harry, for his memory and for his beliefs. But I will not stand there and watch her die; I will not watch Hermione die for a war we will loose.
"Go." I was screaming now, my voice grew hoarse and painful.
"No! Ron I'm not leaving without you!" Hermione's words were tender and I felt them just as strongly as I felt her kiss in the chamber. I knew she would die if she stayed, there was no doubt. So I chose to hurt her, I chose to hurt the girl I loved in order to save her life. "Why?" I screamed over the war which had engulfed our school. "Because I love you Ron and I would rather die then live without you."
Do it.
Tell her and she will leave.
Lie to her and she will survive.
"Don't." I almost whispered, my voice grew louder as my words grew harsher "I don't love you Hermione, the only reason I kissed you was because I thought I was going to die, I'm sorry but I don't love you. I've never loved you." Every word I said I could tell hit her; the pain in her eyes was almost unbearable. I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to tell her how much I truly loved her.
Then she was gone.
She disapperated out of Hogwarts and out of my life forever.
I must have stood there for six minutes before I was pulled back into the war. I just stared at the spot where she disappeared and I knew I would never see her again. Knowing that made it harder to go on, made it harder to fight yet easier to die. I didn't want to live without her. I could have gone, gone with her. But I would not run from this. So I walked back into the school as I saw lives being taken around me, the war between good and evil. Turning around I knew it was over. There she stood, her smile left me cold.
As I faced Bellatrix, I knew that I was going to die. I was facing the woman who had killed my best friends godfather, had tortured the woman I loved and pointed a wand to my younger sister. If I was to die I would give her the same pain she has caused so many people.
"CRUCIO!" That was the first time I had ever used an unforgivable curse.
It would also be my last.
Seeing Bellatrix in pain did not give me comfort, it did not fill that hole I had now Harry and Fred were dead. It did not make me want Hermione any less. It simply made me regret doing it. Not because she would kill me but because in my last few moments I had become like them.
So I ran. I did not run to survive, but to die nobly, or as noble as I could muster in my ever growing weakness. I ran till I reached the man that had caused all this, the man which had killed my best friend. Voldemort stood there and simply smiled as I raised my wand at him. He disappeared like a whisper. Floating through the air as if he was part of the wind. Then he composed himself in front of me. Facing me almost as an equal.
"I killed your friend. You want revenge." He stated simply. Hogwarts was up in flames around us and yet he was composed.
"No." I was surprised at how calm my voice was "Just to tell you that killing him does not mean you were stronger. Nor does it make you brave. Harry was brave. He cared and he loved the people who helped him, he treated them like family even though you took his real family from him. You didn't win Tom you merely lived. You lived and not even as a whole, your soul is not even complete. I pity you, I really do. Harry lived eighteen years and he had more love and happiness in it then you will ever have. You are alone Tom and you are pathetic."
As I stood there, staring him right in the eye, I realised that this man who kept me afraid my whole life and who took away my best friend. He was nothing; I was no longer scared of him, this selfish old man. I dropped my wand and closed my eyes, ready for him to kill me but I would not give him the satisfaction of duelling me, of beating me before he took my life.
"AVADA KEDAVRA"
The words rung in my ears as I fell to the ground, I imagined it to be painful or scary. Instead it made me feel at peace. As the green light blinded me, I saw her. Hermione. Living the rest of her life, happy. She would marry and be a mother. She would be a perfect, loving mother. I saw her smile and her hair falling over her face, I felt the touch of her lips as she kissed me and I felt her arms wrapped around me. Then I remembered all three of us. I saw Harry and Hermione as they laughed and I felt happy, just as happy as I felt in the memory. As long as we were once together, we would always be together. In my memory time stood still and I lived in that moment forever.
Yes I know this was depressing, thank God J.K Rowling wrote it the way she did because I wouldn't be able to live knowing Ron and Hermione weren't together and that the golden trio weren't still best friends. Anyway this is deeply depressing but it was weirdly fun to write. I'm odd. Please review it means the world ;)
