Author's Note: Hey guys, this is my new story that I am very excited to debut. I have had this idea in my head for awhile and I really hope you all love it. It is nothing like Timeless or Just Watch The Fireworks, so even if you think it may be, trust me it's not.
I want to thank and dedicate this story to my love Maggie for Maggifying and being so encouraging. She also made the fabulous banner for this story that I just love.
Each chapter of this story will be a song and the quotes I use for each chapter will be a selection of its lyrics. Only the title and the exact lyrics I use will pertain to the chapter, so if you know the song and are confused just remember that only the title and a certain piece of the lyrics are creating the theme.
So with that said, I really hope you guys enjoy this like you have my other two. I can't wait to see what you all think. You all have been so amazingly supportive of my writing and are what inspires me to keep going.
Season/Time frame: Mostly AU-Everything that happened up until NH getting married at the end of Season One is a part of the history. Anything after Season One is not, including the fact that NH got married. They just had sex for the first time instead of got married during the Season One finale, in regards to this story. The rest will be explained in future chapters.
Disclaimer: All One Tree Hill characters belong to Mark Schwann and the WB. Haley James Scott, Nathan Scott and any other characters featured from One Tree Hill are NOT mine.
Chapter One "Best I'll Ever Be"
"I miss you So I wait and I wait
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be"
Sister Hazel
Haley could feel herself being lulled out of a deep sleep by strong hands gently massaging her naked breasts from behind. The pleasure was already coursing through her, but her mind still hadn't crossed over into consciousness just yet. At this point, it could be either an incredible dream or the love of her life not being able to wait until morning to be inside her.
It was when she felt his hard length hard against her backside that she slipped over the edge into the sweet reality that was awaiting her. She moaned his name as his other arm came around her and began to tease her already moist center.
Nathan nuzzled his head into the nape of her neck and laid soft, wet kisses on her smooth skin, so many that she could never even try to count. He'd always said he loved every inch of her body and that his lips could never stay away. It must have been true because he never went a minute without his lips being on some part of her, whenever they were in each other's presence.
"Turn around," his husky voice, filled with lust, instructed.
Doing as he said, she turned to face him and his lips were hard against hers before she could even catch her breath. She loved nights like this, nights when they made love over and over, only resting for an hour, at most, in between. It wasn't only him either, she loved to climb on top of him, when he was fast asleep, slip him inside her, and watch his eyes open in awe.
She'd never grow tired of that look in his eyes when she took charge, which is why more than half of the time she did just that. He teased her about being his little nymph, and while she always blushed when he said it, it filled her with a sense of satisfaction at the same time.
"God, I love you Hales." He spoke against her lips, making her shiver even more, with anticipation—if that was possible. She had been the first girl he'd ever said those words to and when she looked into his eyes, she knew she was his first, last, and only love; and he was hers.
"I love you too Nathan Scott," she promised as she wrapped a leg over his to open herself for him.
He pushed up into her and they both gasped. The feel of him pushing up into her was sending her into that foggy haze of oblivion. Catching his eye for just a moment, she heard him whispering softly into her ear, but in her haze the words were lost to passion. She could see his mouth moving, and instinctively she knew that whatever he was saying was going to make her want him more, but the fury inside her was too overpowering.
She fought through the haze to hear the words but with each thrust, her lust-filled fog grew stronger and stronger until everything around her: words, time, everything just seemed to stand still. It wasn't until that last second before they both fell into oblivion that she finally heard his words echo as if they were from some distant place.
"Open Your Eyes."
Haley shot up in bed, her heart pounding in her chest, barely able to catch her breath. It took her a moment to realize that she was in her own bed, but as she placed her hand to her heaving chest, she knew that the dream was more than just her subconscious.
"Haley? Are you alright?" A man's groggy voice questioned from beside her.
She just sat there staring into the darkness trying to calm her breathing.
Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Was it a bad dream? Damn, you're heart is beating a mile a minute, Haley."
Blinking, she finally became aware of her surroundings and her heart ached. "Um, yeah Landon…I'm fine."
"You look as if you've seen a ghost." His worried eyes tried to focus in on hers.
"Maybe I did," she whispered more to herself than to the man next to her. "I'm going to get some water, I'll be alright promise, go back to bed." She kissed his lips briefly hoping to reassure him.
He just nodded and watched her practically flee out of the room, but figured that if it were anything serious she'd let him know.
With her heart still beating rapidly Haley made her way out of the hallway and into the living room.
"Hey roommate!" Brooke's cheery voice piped up from the large, red, suede couch that she'd fought tooth and nail to have instead of the more subdued green one Haley and Peyton had wanted.
"Brooke, we've lived together almost five years and yet you still see fit to announce that all the time."
"Someone's a bit bitchy, did Landon finish before you got yours, sweetie?"
Haley plopped down beside her with a disgusted look on her face. "Ew, Brooke. I'm so not going there with you."
Brooke shrugged and spread out her blanket to cover Haley too. "I'm just saying, usually when I'm satisfied I sleep like a baby," she grinned as visions of naked men danced in her head.
"Yeah, I know." Haley sighed.
Turning to her friend, Brooke could tell something was really wrong. "You want to talk about it Tutorgirl?"
Haley answered her by laying her head on Brooke's shoulder and to Brooke that meant that all Haley needed at the moment, was her company. She and Haley had always been that way. Sometimes when one was having a problem, they would just crawl in bed with the other and they'd lay together for hours in silence, losing themselves in bad TV and sappy movies. Neither ever pushed, because whether it took an hour of silence or a whole day, the one in trouble would eventually open up—they always did.
…
After an hour of trying to distract herself with VH1's list of the most fabulous celebrity religions, Haley couldn't take it anymore. Her mind wouldn't stop replaying the dream over and over in her head. The second she lifted her head from Brooke's shoulder, the brunette hit mute on the TV and turned so that they could talk face to face.
Haley was about to open her mouth, but quickly shut it when she realized that she needed the other member of their group. "Get Peyton."
"Oh shit." Brooke mumbled as she reached over and grabbed her cell. She knew this was big if Haley was risking waking up the dead.
A few minutes later, an anything but happy to be awake, Peyton came stumbling into the living room from another hallway. "This so better be worth it," she grumbled as she sat down Indian style in front of where her two best friends sat on the couch.
"I had a dream." Haley finally revealed.
Peyton looked at her weird. "You know Hales, monsters aren't real. But hell you can sleep with me tonight if you're that scared," she said as she made a move to get up, but Haley's hand reached out to stop her.
"About Nathan." She whispered, the mere mention of his name almost enough to bring her to tears.
Peyton looked to Brooke, but neither girl knew what to say. It had been at least three years since Haley had even spoken his name, and for Haley to be saying it now must mean this dream was a whole lot more than some random guest appearance by the dark haired Scott into her subconscious.
"Start talking or I'm going to strangle you?" Brooke threatened, but Haley knew it was with love.
Haley closed her eyes. "It just felt so incredibly real. I could feel him…I still can."
Brook and Peyton watched as Haley's eyes opened back up and tears began to fill them. Their hearts broke all over again at the pain they knew she was reliving. It brought back so many painful memories of what happened five years ago and how they had spent endless nights doing everything in their power to mend Haley's heart.
No matter what though, they would never trade it for anything, because that time in all their lives was a start of an amazing friendship between the three. One that blood could not even overpower. They were sisters and while they were all different, they blended together to create an unbreakable force. They were each other's family and it was as simple and as beautiful as that.
Flashback…
Lucas opened the outside door to his bedroom to find his two one-time loves standing before him. "Hey guys, she's still asleep."
"We don't care Lucas, now go brood somewhere else. " Brooke shoved him out the door and Peyton gave him a reassuring smile before shutting him out.
"Tutorgirl! Wakey, wakey!" Brooke demanded playfully as she jumped onto Lucas' bed.
Haley mumbled something incoherent and buried herself further beneath Lucas' covers.
Brooke gave Peyton a look and then they both yanked the covers completely off Haley.
"Damn it Brooke!" Haley shouted out frustrated as she sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest—stretching an old T-shirt of Lucas', that she was wearing, over her legs.
Walking over to her, Brooke and Peyton both sat on separate sides of Haley, hoping to create a wall of support around their friend, one that Haley could not escape.
"Haley, P. Sawyer and I had a brilliant idea." Brooke clapped her hands.
Rolling her eyes, Haley rested her chin on her knees. "I just want to be alone. Why can't you two see that?"
"Because we love you and because this idea is too perfect." Peyton wrapped her arm around Haley and winked.
Brooke took her cue. "So, we know your plans have been forced to change, so we decided that you need a completely fresh start. Peyton and I want you to move to New York with us."
Haley looked up at her confused, and without even thinking answered. "I didn't apply there and I'm going to Duke." But the minute the last word escaped her lips, tears welled into her eyes and a gut wrenching sob soon followed.
Peyton and Brooke enveloped her into their arms and the three of them stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. They had never seen Haley ever crumble, but the loss of Nathan and the loss of what she thought was her future was too much for her to bear, and no one could ever blame her. Haley had always been so strong and so sure about her life and to see her this lost, was a pain that everyone who loved her shared.
Finally, Haley lifted her head and sniffed a few times. "Can I really leave everything behind?
Smoothing her hair down Peyton looked into her eyes. "He did Haley, and I know how unsure you are right now, but you need to start living again. It's not going to be easy and there will be still be days in the future that you won't want to get out of bed, but little by little it will get easier."
Brooke smiled at Haley. "Yeah, and you'll have Peyton and I to distract you anytime, day or night. "
"Why would you guys want a mess like me?" Haley gave them a small smile.
They both laughed. "Hales, all of us have issues and I think that's part of the reason we all get along so well." Peyton revealed.
"Definitely." Brooke agreed. "It's like we all compliment each other. I improve both of your wardrobes, Peyton keeps us in tune with music and you, Haley, have this uncanny ability to reveal the fact that P. Sawyer and I have hearts."
Haley laughed a bit through her tears. "But, how can y'all know this is going to work out?"
"We don't, but that's part of what makes life worth living. Wouldn't you rather take risks, then live life in regret?" Peyton asked without missing a beat.
Haley sat in silence for a moment. "I'm just scared that if I say yes, it makes everything real," she whispered.
Brooke hugged her tighter. "I hate to say it, but I think it's already pretty real."
"I guess it is." Haley whispered, but this time her friends felt finality in her tone. So, when she broke down again, a second later, they let her weep because they knew she needed to grieve over the loss of what she thought her life would have been before she could ever move on to what her life could be.
That exact same night, the three of them packed everything they owned and drove a gigantic U Haul to New York City, three week before Brooke and Peyton had originally planned to go. For four years, they shared a two-bedroom apartment that Brooke's parent's owned and they never regretted a second of it.
So, when they all had finally secured jobs, a year ago, that paid them very well, they decided to not break tradition, and instead buy a bigger and better place together. They were family after all, and separating family just didn't make sense.
It took them two months of searching before they settled on an amazing renovated warehouse that combined Brooke's dramatic elegance, with Haley's love of historical architecture and Peyton's insistence that they live in the youthful art haven of SoHo. The entire top floor had been turned into their home with three roomy bedrooms each suited to their separate taste. The other mutual areas of the home, however, they had either battled it out or flipped a coin, but when you walked inside, you could see how well their tastes blended… just like their friendship.
They could have rented out the entire bottom floor, but with all three girls having an artistic flair, they opted to turn it into a massive studio for them all to have room to express their talents. Whether it was sketching fashion designs, painting the next great masterpiece or writing music, there was a place for it.
All three of them had worked hard and made an amazing life outside of the tiny town of Tree Hill, one where ghosts of their pasts didn't have a place.
End of Flashback…
Peyton squeezed Haley's hand. "You know Haley, it's been fifteen years since my mom died and I still have these dreams of her. They're so vivid, that when I wake up I think I can still smell her perfume. I think when someone has such a powerful impact in your life; their presence can come back even when you thought you'd never truly see them again. I think it's our mind's way of telling us that the past made us who we are today. Whether they were positive or negative things, they are always going to reappear from time to time to make us remember how far we've come."
"But, I don't wanna remember. Make it go away." Haley's bottom lip jutted out in her signature pout as she buried her head in the blanket Brooke had thrown over her earlier.
Brooke giggled and stuck her head under the blanket Haley was using as a shield. "Aw, sweetie, trust me if I could, I'd set us all up with that machine from that Eternal Sunshine whatever movie. I mean, hell even I still have dreams of Lucas from time to time, especially right around the time I start a new relationship."
Haley's eyes lit up at that as she took the blanket off her head. "That must be it. Landon and I just really started dating, so that just has to be it." Her voice filled with excitement at the prospect of rationalizing this situation. She had only officially been with Landon for a month, even though they'd been friends for over two years, so the transition was still new.
"I think you actually stumbled upon something profound in that ramble Brooke." Peyton said with a tad bit of shock at Brooke's words.
"Hey, I say profound things from time to time," the brunette pouted.
Haley kissed her cheek. "Tigger, you know I adore you, but you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed."
"Go take a short walk off a long pier." Brooke stuck her tongue out, to which her two friends burst out laughing.
"My point exactly Brookie." Haley patted her head and got up off the couch.
"I don't get it." Brooke looked to Peyton, confusion etched on her pretty features.
"And you never did, sweetie, but we love you anyway." Peyton teased.
"Alright, I'm off to bed and to hopefully a dreamless sleep, but no matter what, thank god the only Nathan Scott I ever have to encounter again is in my subconscious." Haley smiled; content that her problem had been solved.
Brooke and Peyton watched her wander back to her bedroom, hoping that she would be okay.
"Do you think she'll be alright?" Peyton asked after a second.
Brooke was about to respond when her eyes focused on the news alert behind Peyton on the TV. Grabbing the remote she turned the volume back on and motioned for Peyton to turn around.
There on the screen, was the one, the only, Nathan Scott, in front of a podium with a thousand flashing bulbs going off around him.
"I'm done." Was all they heard the NBA star, the boy who had once been their friend, say before he walked out of the room and the reporters started yelling over each other to express their opinions.
Brooke turned off the television and looked at Peyton. "What does that mean, 'he's done?'
"I don't know." Peyton responded, but in her gut she felt a shift taking place. Nathan Scott had a look in his eyes that she had only seen when he was focusing on one of two passions in his life. Now that basketball was gone, there was only one remaining thing that could cause that fire in his eyes…Haley.
…
Retiring at twenty-three years old, at the top of his game, would be something his fans and critics would question until the day he died. Nathan Scott was driven, fearless, and untouchable on the court, but what they didn't see was that he was dead inside and that he had been since the first moment he walked out of Tree Hill a little over five years ago.
Those in the industry had deemed him the Enigma; he outscored everyone almost every game, brought his team to three National titles, yet never acknowledged his own success. In his five years as a basketball legend, he had hardly cracked a smile on the court, and had not given one exclusive interview in his career. None of his family ever attended the games and the only friends he ever socialized with were a few select, yet equally private teammates. He was all business and never let a modicum of his success lead to happiness.
His talent was all he had, and maybe at one time in his life that was enough; but not after her.
It was ironic how someone could change your life forever and never know the power that they possessed. That's what she had done, changed him forever. She had overshadowed everything he used to think made him content and replaced it with an ecstasy-filled existence nothing else could ever compare to.
Walking out on her had been the biggest mistake of his life, one he would do anything to take back.
A therapist, he'd been forced to go to for standard evaluation after the draft, once told him he needed to let himself acknowledge to five stages of grief, so that maybe he could see a life beyond her. Subsequently, that's what he did.
He lived in denial that she was not beside him each night.
He allowed the anger of what he'd done consume him each and every day.
Then he found himself bargaining with alcohol just for the chance to feel numb.
He discovered all of the above had left him in a state of depression.
And finally he accepted, that he couldn't take back the past.
The last step had taken five years to reach, but nevertheless it was his awakening…
Secured in that knowledge, he decided on a plan. Now, while he knew he did not encompass the gift of words in his arsenal, as his brother did, he was skilled in the art of taking action and to get his life back, he would have to be drastic. But when you have nothing to lose, like he did, you don't hesitate once your mind is made up.
He'd given his first exclusive interview tonight after the season-ending game and only uttered two words, 'I'm done.' After that, he left the stadium with a huge satisfied smile and told his agent 'thank you and goodbye.' His house in Phoenix would be placed on the market, and by the time the sports world awoke in the morning to hear the confirmation of his retirement, he'd be on a plane barreling towards the only true thing he'd ever known or ever would…Haley.
He wasn't naïve; it would take everything in him to get her to see that they belonged together, because at this point in her life he knew she envisioned anything but. She had a life that from the outside seemed to be perfection, but no one knew her soul or her fire like he did. It had been five years; 1825 days since he'd looked into her eyes, and the next time he saw her he knew they'd be closed to him and their love.
He had but only once choice...to open her eyes...again
Cath
