The Last Song – View on Ronnie's First time with Will
***I am not Nicholas Sparks, however I am absolutly in LOVE with his novels***
*~*Occurs after Ronnie and Jonah are back at their home after one of their touristy attractions around the city.
After Jonah left to go to the movie with mom, I sat on the end of the bed for what seemed like hours of crying, my eyes staring straight ahead, but seeing nothing. Finally, I rose, took off my jacket and went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were sunken and dark from the grieving and the despair and longing that I've come to know, my hair was messed up from running my hands through it and I had tear tracks down my cheeks. Nice, I thought. I was about to start the water in the tub, when there was a knock on the door.
"Jonah," I said as I opened the door, "I really need..."
But it wasn't him standing in the hallway, it was Will.
I stared at him in shock for a second then sighed. "It looks like my brother is a doesn't listen when I say not to open the door to strangers," I said as I ran a hand through my hair again.
"Ronnie, we need to talk." He looked miserable.
My brow furrowed. "Now you want to talk? Just go away. I can't do this now. The time for talking is over." I tried to shut the door.
Will's arm held the door open as he pushed his way into the room. His arms went around me so fast I didn't know what hit me and I heard the door close behind us. He lifted me off the ground and I lost my breath, my feet dangling off the floor. His arms were around my back, one hand holding the back of my head.
He buried his face in my hair as he spoke. "Oh, Ronnie...I'm sorry. Please, please talk to me. I love you so much. If you really are mine, I can't lose you," he said. His lips were moving on my neck, jaw, eyes, cheeks, and finally found my mouth.
His lips hovered above mine. "I was a bloody stupid. Will you forgive me?" He brushed my hair back from my face and then looked in my eyes.
I felt tears fill my eyes...still frozen, unmoving. My emotions were conflicted between wanting to melt into his arms and pushing him away. My heart wanted so much to believe his words. I closed my eyes as I felt a lump rise in my throat.
"You don't trust me, how can you say you love me?" The words hurt as they left my throat. I bent my head and rested my forehead on his shoulder as the tears rained from my eyes. I could feel the sobs begin to rack my body, so deep, no sound could escape, my shoulders shaking in silence.
"I came back from my dad's place and I've been waiting forever for you to call..." I gasped out the words. "I knew the words I s-said hurt you and I couldn't b-bear to let you believe that I didn't w-want you..." I was gasping for air. His arms tightened around me and he groaned. "and i wait around after you've gotten back from Europe and you still haven't called." My voice broke as the sobs finally broke free of my chest and cut off my words, and my cries filled the room around us.
"Ronnie, you have to listen to me." One hand came up to brush my tear dampened hair off of my face. "I couldn't bear the thought of you not coming back to me, not after our goodbye. I love you so much my heart is bursting with it...but the pain that I felt these past months, having to go about my life at school and not having any contact whatsoever. His strong arms were still holding me tight. "Well, it nearly killed. I felt like I was dying." He kissed my neck and paused a moment, his right hand stroking the back of my head.
"Try to understand, I couldn't bear to think of losing you like that again. I want you to be all mine, only mine, forever." I heard the anguish in his voice as he held me close.
I sniffed and hid my face in the hollow between his shoulder and his neck. "But how could you let me just tell you to walk away? I wanted to r-run to you and throw my arms around you...b-but then I saw you with her, and something died inside of me. You don't know w-what that did to me." I was still shaking with hiccupping sobs.
"Yes, I do, Ronnie." He stopped for a moment as he held me and took a deep breath. "That's how I know you love me. I should explain, but I think you already know. We should have kept in contact but I was afraid and I didn't want to hear that voice I love, telling me you didn't want me." He kissed the side of my face and my temple.
"How could you think for one second that I didn't want you?" I said softly. "I tried to talk to you...to tell you!" He brought his mouth close to mine and this time as he moved to my mouth, he took it for all he was worth.
I kissed him back like I was starving for him. My arms slid up his chest and around his neck, into his hair of their own volition. I pulled him so close as our mouths and tongues were wild with each other. His hands on both sides of my face slanted my head so he could take my mouth and kiss me deeper.
Finally, he placed a soft kiss on my lips, catching my top lip between both of his. "Love, I'm so sorry, I am a bloody idiot." He breathed into my mouth and his warm scent was so delicious it made me feel faint.
I pulled back to look into his eyes. I didn't want there to be any question about the sincerity of my words. My voice was thick with emotion and tears still fell from my eyes. "I didn't mean to fall in love with you...but you've wrecked me. Completely. I love you, Will, only you," I whispered.
He smiled, and placed a hand on the side of my face. "Oh, Ronnie...I've dreamt of you saying those words to me for so long now, just to hear them again. I've loved you all this time." His eyes melted into mine. He could stare right into my soul and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"I should have told you when i saw you at the funeral, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I wanted it to be real. The afternoon before we said goodbye, after the funeral, I prayed that you would still love me. I missed you so much I ached with it." I said between kisses.
"My God, Veronica. I love you more than my life." We held each other and kissed for a long time. He lifted his head and rubbed my back.
"Are you okay? I mean, I still can't believe you're in New York, in my arms like this." He walked to the bed, sat down and pulled me onto his lap.
"Its paradise," he whispered in agreement against my temple.
"I'm perfect now." I snuggled into him and laid my head on his shoulder, my hand resting on his chest right over his heart.
His beautiful eyes looked at me in wonder. "Ronnie," he took a deep breath, "how did this happen? How did the bad feeling overrule...our true feelings how did we let them come between us?" He brought his mouth to mine for a kiss and his sweet breath fanned out over my face. "I can't believe my love for you have grown so much since the last time i saw you." He looked at me for a long moment. "It's just..." he let out a little breath with a little shrug.
My hand came up to stroke his hair. "Overwhelming." I finished it for him and he nodded. "It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. You can twist my heart in knots, wring me inside out. There are no words."
He smiled softly and kissed my forehead. His hands continued kneading my back as my head nestled on his shoulder. We sat like that and just held each other for a while, each of us soaking up the other and basking in the glow of the love we felt. I feel so safe.
"Were you going to take a bath? You must be so tired. How long since you really slept?" he asked me finally.
I had to think about it. "Um... I guess about around thirty hours, but it doesn't matter now. I don't want to sleep now that you're here." My hand rose to his face and he covered it with his.
"I don't have to go anywhere, love." He kissed the inside of my wrist, and I wondered if he could feel my pulse racing beneath his lips. "Why don't you let me run your bath, then I'll tuck you in, and stay until you fall asleep, if you want that is?" A devilish smile split his face.
I raised my eyebrow at him and bit my lip. He laughed. "Hmmm...sounds like heaven," I said softly.
"Okay, I'll be back." He lifted me as he got up and lay me down on the bed and touched my chin softly as he turned and went into the bathroom and I heard the water start.
I got up from the bed and went to my dresser to get a clip to put my hair up. There were also some vanilla candles in my closet I'd bought in case I had ever needed them. Maybe it could turn in the odds and it could be if we spent the night together. Turns out it wasn't just wishful thinking. My breath caught as I took two of them out of my case.
I found I was really nervous, even though I'd dreamt of this moment over and over for so long. It had been months, really. We had spent many nights together during the summer, playing liar's poker, watching movies, falling asleep together cuddling...but now we had admitted we loved each other...again. I felt the butterflies in my stomach at the thought of finally being able to consummate that love.
I put a couple of candles around and turned out the bedside light that was on. The room was bathed in a soft golden glow with shadows falling all around, the vanilla scent wafting into the air.
The door to the bathroom opened, and Will walked up behind me, his hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. "Wow...this is perfect," he said. "Ronnie, you're really tired. I just want to take care of you, get you your bath and I'll be happy to hold you all night." He brushed a soft kiss on my neck. His breath made my skin tingle.
He was telling me he didn't expect us to make love, always the gentleman. I smiled to myself, turned and raised my eyes to his.
"What if I don't want sleep?" I asked softly, as I watched him take off his brown leather jacket, leaving only his white polo shirt between my fingers and the smooth muscles of his chest.
"Mmmm...That's okay, too. I'm yours, anything you want." He put his hands on my shoulders again and ran them down the length of my arms.
His words held deeper meaning to me. I reached up to touch his face.
"I want you. Forever," I whispered. I reached up to put my hand at the back of his head, drawing his head down to kiss him, but his lips hovered over mine.
His hand came up and he brushed his knuckles against the side of my face.
"Forever," he said and I nodded. "That's not long enough for me," his other hand slipped behind my waist, and he began kissing my neck. It felt so delicious and made me shudder. I closed my eyes at his words, and ran my hand down his chest.
He trembled at my touch and then struggled with something he was trying to say. I just looked up at him and waited. I knew the love had to be pouring out of my eyes.
"Ronnie...can I just...look at you?" he seemed a little shy as he ran a hand through his gorgeous mane. "I mean, I've been dreaming of you for months, and I just..." his words fell off as he lifted his eyes to meet mine and there was a faint blush to his cheeks.
A small, secret smile came to my lips at his embarrassment.
"Will," I breathed as I lifted on my tip toes to finally place a kiss on his mouth and then his neck, sucking just a little. He shivered at the touch of my tongue on his skin. "Take off my clothes," I begged.
He sucked in his breath a bit and then his mouth was on mine, slowly exploring but full of passion, as he pulled my t-shirt from my body. His hands roamed over my back as they dropped the t-shirt to the floor, so softly. He then reached for the button on my jeans and slowly unzipped the zipper and slid them down my curvy hips. I trembled and had goose bumps from head to toe. My mouth broke from the kiss as I stepped back a little.
My black lace bra, bikini panties and white socks still on, I stepped out of my jeans. His eyes were hot as he looked at me. I could see the love...and lust, burning there. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
"You are so damn beautiful, Ronnie. I'm completely fucking helpless." He kissed my shoulder and the curve of my neck. His mouth was fiery hot on my skin. It felt so delicious, sensual and so loving. He made my insides melt.
"Oh God, Will," I moaned. I was dying inside, I'd imagined this moment for so long. His hand tentatively slid along the top of my breasts above the lingerie. My head fell back and I gasped but held his eyes with my own.
I took his hand and kissed the palm with my open mouth, letting him feel the heat of my tongue. I walked backward into the bathroom, carrying one of the candles and pulling him behind me by one hand.
The candle flickered all over the room reflecting off of the sunk-in tub that was full of bubbles and the mirrors. I placed the candle on the counter and took in his smouldering gaze.
He took my breath away, he was so gorgeous.
I slowly took off my socks, my eyes never leaving his face. He looked like a starving man as his eyes devoured me from head to toe.
I felt powerful as I realized that he wanted me more at that moment, than he'd probably ever wanted anything in his life.
"Will you unhook the back?" I whispered. His eyes flickered as he looked at me, and the candlelight glancing off the planes of his face leaving me completely speechless.
I turned around and offered him my back. He unhooked the bra, his hands tracing my shoulders and down my spine as I held the front over me. He kissed the back of my neck with his open mouth, sucking ever so lightly, as he lifted his lips away.
I turned and let it bra fall away and brought my arms up around me. This is the first time I've ever stood this naked in front of a boy...even a boy I loved. I was standing only in my string bikini panties. I waited as he looked me over, my lips parted, my gaze wanton as it fell on him. Oh God. This is finally going to happen.
"Ronnie you don't have to hide from me. Never hide from me. Know that I love you for who you are and would never want you to hide your beautiful, luscious body from me." He took me in his arms and reassured me with tender and loving kisses and caresses.
A little while later after resolving my fears he spoke, "Ronnie...is this real? Are you really here with me now? You're so perfect." His voice was rough with emotion.
"Will, in times to come when we are both busy and we can't be together, I want you to remember this moment. Know that no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I'd rather be with you like this."
He came forward and gathered me up in his arms. "Ronnie...I love you." He breathed before his lips brushed mine, then the pressure increased and our mouths parted, as if we couldn't get enough of each other. I was breathless as I placed little kisses on his jaw, moved back up to claim his mouth and started to push up his shirt. His breathing was heavy as he pulled his mouth from mine.
His hands came up to cover mine. "Babe, I know how tired you are. I'm happy just to be with you. Get in the bath and I'll wash your back." He held both of my hands in one of his, as the knuckles of the other hand grazed the outside of my breast. I licked my lips and looked up at him with hooded eyes.
"For now," I whispered as I stood on tiptoe to curl my hand around the back of his neck and pull him in for another passionate kiss. My mouth parted and I ran my tongue along his lips. He groaned in satisfaction as I slid my tongue between his lips and teeth into the deep recesses of his mouth, his arms gathering me tight against him. His tongue came to meet mine and our lips were savouring the different tastes, he was suckling me, and savouring me at every movement.
Kiss after kiss after kiss, he was delicious. Don't stop, Will.
He finally trailed his lips down my neck and over the top of my shoulder. I lifted his hand to my breast. "I want you to touch me," I breathed.
"I'm afraid you'll vanish into thin air if I do. This is what my dreams are made of and..." He tentatively reached out toward me. "...I don't want to wake up or mess up what has already become, Ronnie." But his hand was warm as he cupped my breast, his thumb grazing over the erect nipple and the other hand on my back, falling lower to the edge of my panties...his eyes following the hand at my breast until finally lifting to my face.
"Mmmmm..." I moaned. "Will, I love you. Your hands are the only ones that I want on my body, only you...forever," I breathed into the skin of his chest.
"You have no idea what you do to me, Veronica. I've loved you from the minute our eyes met...and when we kissed, I was lost."
His hands were running down the sides of my body and came to the edge of my panties, they slid over my butt underneath the fabric, kneading my flesh and he groaned.
I was kissing his chest when his fingers slid them down to fall at my feet. His words running like fire through my veins.
"Oh, Babe," he groaned against my mouth. "Get in your bath while I'm still able to let you." His mouth ghosted mine, until he stepped back to let me get in the tub. I moved slowly in front of him, so he could see my body. His eyes devoured me as I slid down in the tub.
"Mmmmm...This feels nice." Will just looked at me for a minute. He shook his head slightly and let the air out in that cute way he always does.
"Hmmph..." he smiled softly at me. "I feel like a silly school boy, Ronnie..." The corners of his mouth twitched, "...like I've never been with a woman before. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Absolutely gorgeous." The love radiated from his eyes.
I smiled as I remembered another time he told me that. "It was better than the torn jeans?" I teased.
The corner of his mouth twitched and then broke into a grin. "Yeah, even better than the torn jeans, although you were stunning in that as well. So incredible."
He sat on the floor next to the tub and put his arm over the edge grabbing the sponge and starting to run it over my body. I watched him move and he was so lithe, his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest.
Something about him took my breath away, but that was nothing new.
My heart stopped as I absorbed how much I needed this beautiful, complicated man. I knew in that moment, that I'd never love anyone this much for the rest of my life.
"You practiced your piano." His eyes were thoughtful as he smiled softly. "I can't wait to hear you play."
"It makes me feel closer to my dad when I play it. It was the only part of him I could touch on a daily basis, that will forever be a piece of him" I said of piano that arrived from my dad's house last month. I knew him so well. "It's beautiful. I really love it."
He continued to move the sponge down my body, his eyes following his progress. A small smile was dancing around his mouth.
"Will," I whispered. He stopped running the sponge down my leg and looked at my face.
"Yeah, Love?"
"I said...you can touch me." I softly removed the sponge from his hand. "You don't need this. I don't want anything between us anymore." I watched his face as the realization of what I meant soaked into him. His gaze darkened. My hand reached out to touch his jaw. "I don't want clothes, distance, other people or secrets, to ever come between us again."
His hand cupped my face. "Ronnie, you melt me. Just looking at you...hurts."
He leaned in to kiss me softly and made my heart beat faster.
He's absolutely perfect. Brilliant, talented, beautiful, sensitive and has that southern boy charm, and so romantic. Everything I could ever dream of and more. How did I ever get this lucky?
His hands ran over my body under the water. The suds making them slip easily over my skin. He touched my arms, legs, shoulders, and then slid his hand over my breasts and down my stomach. I caught my breath as his hands brushed lower over the soft hair at the apex of my thighs and then down my leg. His eyes were hungry as he looked upon my body.
I could see his body tense and found I wanted to touch him, too, the heat in the pit of my stomach and between my legs starting to burn. "Will, take me to bed," I begged.
"Oh, God..." he groaned as his arms went around me in the water and he kissed me deeply on the mouth. He lifted me out of the tub and placed me on the rug. Water sloshed on the floor and he got wet as well. When he brought the towel around behind my back, he used it to pull me closer. I could feel how excited he was as his erection pressed against my stomach through his jeans and his breathing sped up. I wasn't sure how much of this I could take, but I let him take the lead.
He rubbed the towel gently over my body, softly placing open mouthed kisses where he'd just dried. When he got to my breasts, he took a nipple into his mouth and sucked on it gently. I felt my body arch, and I moaned softly.
"Oh Will, I love you," I said so softly I wondered if he could hear me.
"Say it again, Ronnie. I can never get enough of hearing you say it. It's been so long to have gone without hearing your voice declare your love for me." He groaned against my breast. Helaved my nipple with his tongue and then the other, bringing more gasps out of me as he ran small feather kisses down the side of my breast.
I put my arms around him and pulled his face up so I could kiss him. "I love you more than anything, always," I whispered against his mouth.
My arms went around his neck and then my nails raked down his back as his mouth devoured mine, as he pulled me closer. He pulled my lower lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently. I wanted him to feel how much I needed him as my hands touched him, and I pressed against him. Feeling him, hard, straining against me, made my knees go weak.
He bent to lift me into his arms and carry me to the bed, our kiss never breaking. I dragged my mouth to his neck and sucked and nipped at it gently. He moaned.
When he set me on the bed, I rose onto my knee, and continued my assult on his chest and neck and face. "Ronnie, we don't have to...I know you're tired, babe." But his eyes were on fire as he watched my naked body move in the candlelight.
I knew he was burning to take me.
"You said you'd give me anything I wanted," I said softly against his skin as I ran my tongue from his collar bone down his chest to his left nipple, my mouth closed around it as I used my tongue and mouth to tease it.
I could feel his breathing and heart beat speed up. I felt him let my hair down...his hands ran through it. He was so beautiful, and the light hair on his chest, getting heavier as it disappeared into his jeans made me wet with anticipation. My hands ran down his hard chest, feathering over his flat chiselled stomach until I found the button on his jeans. I made short work of it and slid the zipper down.
My hand reached inside as I stared into his eyes.
He gasped. "Jesus, Ronnie, you're driving me insane. I don't have the strength... to wait anymore."
I smiled to myself at the words. I raised my head to look into his eyes again, my hand still moving on him. I loved the way he felt.
"Mmmm... Then don't." I said. He made a low growl deep in his chest and I thought he'd throw me down on the bed and ravish me, but he was so gentle. I told him it was going to be my first time and he promised to be as gentle as he could. He confided that it would also be his first time too. I knew it would be a bit painful but I didn't care, we were consummating our love and that is all that mattered. I would take any amount of pain that came to me with grace.
He bent to lick my top lip and then place a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.
The kisses, while still passionate, slowed and became even more tendered, and his hands were more gentle and light on my body.
I touched him too, managing to start pushing his jeans down his muscled hips. My hands pushed down over his firm butt. I felt his naked desire press on my stomach and I swooned.
"Oh God, Will." My heart was pounding, the wetness pooling between my thighs. "I've wanted you for so long," I breathed into his mouth.
"For fucking eternity." He took my mouth in a deep, soulful kiss. His arm tightened around my waist, my arms around his neck, hands in his hair, holding him, kissing him back deeply as he lowered me to the bed.
His knees came down on the sides of my legs as he bent to slowly kiss my neck, shoulders and breasts. He had me panting with desire when his hands ran the length of my body, and he bent to suckle my breasts again. He sucked the nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue on it as his right hand lowered to the spot between my legs that screamed for his touch.
"Uhh..." I panted as my hips moved up to meet him.
"Bloody hell, Ronnie. You're so beautiful. I never want this to end." His mouth left my breast and moved down my body. He touched every inch of my flesh, softly kneading, as if he couldn't get enough. His hands spread my legs and I held my breath.
I felt him breathe on my inner thigh as he ran his tongue from my knee higher up my leg. He placed feather kisses up and down both of my legs, my hips and on my stomach just below my navel. It was sweet torture. Then his hands were on the inside of my thighs and sliding below my bottom as he brought his hot mouth down the apex of my thighs.
"Oh my God," I panted. I felt like I was dying.
"Mmmmm..." he groaned as he sucked lightly. I was wound so tight that I was going to cum any minute.
"Will...Will..." I gasped, my back arching, my head falling back and both hands clutching at the sheets.
"Just let it go, baby. I love you so much, Ronnie. I want to feel you cum in my mouth." His words made me gasp and writhe at the intimacy of it. He returned his greedy mouth to me and licked and sucked until I thought I couldn't stand it. I don't know how long it lasted. It was so delicious, I lost myself in the sensations he was giving me and I finally felt my body tense and shudder as he brought me over the edge. My back arched and I convulsed over and over again. His lips lightened on my body as the shutters wracked me...he was so good. And he was all mines.
"Oh Will, uhhh..." I breathed his name.
He moved up on my body and kissed my mouth deeply. "Ronnie, you are incredible. You taste so sweet, and your scent...you drive me wild with wanting you." He nuzzled my neck, and then moved to deeply kiss me again, and I could taste myself on his mouth.
This was the most intimate I'd ever been with anyone, the closest I'd ever let myself be emotionally, too. It was so incredible, he was so beautiful, and his passion and tenderness overwhelmed my heart.
I reached for his erection. I wanted to touch him, to feel him inside me. He groaned under my touch, as my hand moved around him and up and down his length.
"Mmmm...This has to be a dream. It's so perfect," he groaned.
My hands lightly skimmed his body, and I kissed his chest and neck, with my open mouth...I tried to push him back so I could taste him, but he stopped me. "Ronnie. I can't wait another minute to be inside you." Then he kissed me so passionately that it took my breath away, his tongue deep in my mouth, sucking on my lower lip between kisses.
I felt his knee go between my legs and I moaned in anticipation. I wanted him...now.
"Will...take me," I begged against his mouth as I arched up to him. He leaned down and kissed me passionately, he kept whispering sweet words to me. He grasped both of my hands in his own so that he could feel the pain I was about to endure.
I felt the tip of him press into my softness. I was so wet that he slipped in a little. "Oh My God, Ronnie. You're so hot, so tight." He moaned as he pushed in all the way to my barrier. He stopped and told me he was gonna do it, I nodded my head and he pushed all the way inside. He stopped in order for me to acclimate to size. After a while, I rose up to meet him, stretching, feeling him fill me. He was big and I loved every sensation.
"Mmmmm...You feel so amazing," I murmured through the passionate haze.
He started to move within me and I felt his hands reach out for mine, our fingers interlacing and locking overhead as he continued to kiss me deeply on the mouth. He continued whispering sweet words to me. He moved slowly at first, savouring each long thrust. I thought I was dying, I had dreamed about this moment for months. I raised my knees higher. I wanted to get closer and closer, still. This was so much more than I'd ever felt. He was making love to me, making me his forever.
"Oh God... Oh, babe," he moaned from deep in his chest. I twisted one of my hands free and moved it to his firm ass to pull him in tighter. He put his free hand under my right knee and hitched it over his waist. I groaned as he went deeper inside.
I could feel my orgasm and his starting to build, and I moved my hips with his. He was amazing, and this was more incredible than anything I'd ever experienced. His hands, his lips on my body, every inch of me screamed for his touch. This was heaven on earth.
My arms went around his neck and I pulled his face to mine to kiss him.
"Will, I've never felt like this before...it's never been like this," I moaned against his mouth as my body clenched around him. I wanted him to feel how much I wanted him, and what he did to me. One of his hands was stroking my leg from ankle to thigh and he was sucking and licking on my nipples.
"I know love, for me too." His eyes closed as he moved inside me, with me, for me. "Ronnie, you're making me cum...I'm so close, love," he moaned. Suddenly his hands were on the sides of my face. He was breathing very heavily as he stroked my hair back from my face.
"Veronica, look at me. I need you to open your eyes," he demanded as he kissed my mouth softly.
My eyes opened to see him looking down at me as his body continued to move within mine. He was slowing a little, but the pressure and depth of his thrusts remained constant as his hips undulated, my hips rising to meet his.
"Mmmmm..." I moaned softly, the sensations still building within me. His eyes were dark with love and passion, but I could see pain on his beautiful face as well. I reached up to lay a hand on his cheek.
"Ronnie, I've dreamt of this moment, when I'd feel your body writhing beneath me, trembling around me...to hear my name on your lips, your voice laced with love and passion. And this is so much more incredible than I've ever imagined or dared to hope for." His voice was thick with emotion and his eyes liquid. "The first time I saw you I knew you were the one that i would finally fall desperately in love with you. God Ronnie I am so in love with you. I love you more than anything in this world. Without you, everything is meaningless. Right now at this moment...I would die in your arms just to...finally be with you like this." His eyes were pools of love. He lowered his mouth to mine as he moved with me.
I felt myself start to tense and spasm in orgasm around him. His beautiful words and tender lovemaking, brought tears to my eyes as emotion overwhelmed me.
"Uhhhh...Will..." I said his name as if it were a prayer, my eyes closed and my back arched, my hands clawing at his shoulders, as a tear squeezed out from my lashes. "I'll love you forever. I'm yours," I said.
He kissed my mouth hotly, his tongue diving into my mouth and I sucked on it, like my body was clenching, sucking on his, as he groaned as he gave in to his own climax. I felt him shudder and twitch inside me, and I was still clenching around him, milking every last drop and sensation from him. I wrapped my legs and arms around him, as I felt the tears begin to fall. "Oh my God...Will, I can't believe how much I love you." I sobbed as I clung to him.
"Ronnie, don't ever ask me to leave you again, please." His voice was thick and his eyes were wet as he looked down on me, slowly brushing my hair off of my damp forehead, skimming his knuckles in a feather caress across my cheek and chin, staring in wonder at my face. "You're everything that matters to me. Everything I need and more," he said so softly. My arms tightened around him as I sobbed into his shoulder.
He kissed my neck, forehead and shoulder as he collapsed into the pillows behind my head. I just held him tighter, kissing the side of his neck and then his mouth when he finally lifted his beautiful face above mine. He slowly withdrew from my body however i was content to have him stay there; I never wanted to disconnect. We stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding and stroking each other.
I kissed his shoulder, temple and mouth.
He just stared down at me, his eyes soft with the aftermath of our love, his skin glowing with a light layer of perspiration and the hair on his chest lay down from being drenched in sweat. He kissed the tears off of my face as I looked at him.
"Don't cry, my love..." he sighed, as his fingers brushed my forehead and moved down the side of my face.
"That was...incredible, so beautiful. I'm still shaking." I felt him smile as he moved to my side and propped his head on his arm, his leg still tangled up in mine.
He reached for the necklace nestled above the top of my breasts and he gently took it between his fingers. "You still turtle necklace," he said in his velvet voice. It held a very special double meaning for both of us. My hand came up to cover his, my eyes full of love as I looked at him. "I'll always cherish and protect it. It was one of the happiest times of this past summer." I knew my face was flushed and feverish. I was so happy just being with him in this moment.
His hair was mussed from me running my hands through it, his features relaxed, satisfied, his eyes languid.
So beautiful.
His arm rested softly across my stomach as he gazed down at me and pulled the sheet up over his hips and my breasts.
"Will, where did you come from?" I looked at him in amazement. "You've touched me in places I never dreamed existed."
He smiled at me, as I studied his perfect features in the candlelight.
"I mean..." I searched for the right words. "You're just...everything. Perfect, you're like my own personal miracle."
"I've thought that about you too, but never more than in this moment." His eyes were thoughtful as he considered his next words. "Ronnie, I meant it when I said I loved you more than life. I love you so much that sometimes, I can't even breathe. I can't even begin to imagine what would of happened to me if I hadn't met you, how much of a waste my summer would have been. I never would have met your father figure, and then I don't know what would have become of me since he changed me so much, Ronnie"
He was tearing a little as he looked at me, his hand lightly rubbing up and down my body.
I felt that there was something else he was thinking of that was hurting him. I needed to know what it was.
"Will, what is it?" I asked as I put my arm across him and I snuggled closer. We were lying on our sides facing each other, touching and kissing each other softly.
"I just don't ever want to ever feel again, like I've felt these past few months. Losing you after this would be unbearable. I think it would literally kill me." His eyes burned into mine and I reached up to touch his face.
He rolled onto his back and pulled me onto his chest and I rested my head on his heart and I listened to it thump beneath my cheek as my fingers drew inconsequential designs on his chest next to my cheek.
How can I put him at ease? I considered it for a moment before I spoke, drawing inconsequential designs on the skin of his chest.
"We just have to trust each other. Make sure that we always talk to each other and never leave angry without discussing the entire problem." I kissed his chest and put my hand up to touch his face as his arms tightened around my body. "No matter what anyone says to us, we have to trust each other wholly in this relationship if it ever going to work. That means no lying, no holding back whether you think it is best for the other person." I laid my head down on his chest as my hand went up around his neck into his hair.
He touched my face and ran his thumb over my cheekbone. "Ronnie, what did I ever do to deserve you?"
I smiled against his skin. "Um...you spilled my pop over me and you saved the turtles?" I let out a little laugh. "I was done for the minute you saved those helpless creatures in... and my heart recognized you, even then."
He laughed with me as his arms tightened around me. "You make me so happy, love. You've definitely convinced me that you love me." He breathed with a devilish smile, but then his eyes turned serious. "I'll never doubt that again."
I sighed and hugged him close. "You better not," I teased.
"Not possible now." He breathed in my hair and kissed my head. "I know you're exhausted, honey. Try to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, no matter when that is."
The lovemaking, the consistent grief and worry, the soft glow of the candles in the room... was lulling me to sleep. I was tired, but I had to make him understand one more thing before I let sleep consume me.
"Will, I have to say one more thing." I raised my head to look in his face, my fingers running over his chest. "You said tonight that it's killed you these past months thinking of me and whether or not I still had the same feelings for you ..."
I felt him tense as he interrupted me, and his hand came up to cover mine.
"Ronnie, that's in the past. We are moving forward from here on and not dwelling on the past. I don't want to talk about him, not tonight. I understand, and it wasn't your fault. None of that matters now that I know you're mine. It's over." He kissed my forehead.
I kissed his chest as my head rested on it, and my fingertips traced circle patterns across his velvet skin. I would never get tired of touching him.
"No, you don't understand." There was an almost unperceivable shake to my head. "I need you to know something..." My words dropped off as I felt him take a deep breath.
"What is it?" He hesitated. "You can tell me anything. No matter what it is, what it might cost, or even if you think it will hurt me. I always want to know what you're thinking," he said softly, his arms tightening around me and his fingers brushing my cheek.
God, he was just so perfect, I thought.
I moved up on his chest a little so that I could look in his eyes. My hand caressed the light stubble on his chin as I searched for just the right words. "Babe...what is it?" His eyes bore into mine.
"Um...I haven't let anyone else touch me like this, Will. I need you to know that it's only ever been you." My eyes never left his as I spoke.
His eyes widened in astonishment and he started to sit up a little, his mouth ready to speak. "Ronnie..."
"No, I need you to know that all the pain you felt when I told you to leave, all the things that tormented you were only imagined. It breaks my heart that I caused you so much hurt, and I don't ever want to see that kind of pain in your eyes again. I'm so sorry." My hand was still stroking the line of his perfect jaw as my eyes filled with tears again.
He looked at me in amazement.
"My God..." He stopped and put a hand over his eyes as he fell back on the pillows.
Suddenly he pulled me on top of his body, his arms going around me and crushing me to him. He was dragging his mouth over my face pausing to kiss my cheeks, my eyes, and finally my mouth. "I could tell you that I love you a million times, Ronnie...but words can't even come close. It'll never be enough to express what I feel about you." He put his head down and kissed my shoulder and my neck lovingly. He lifted his head and kissed my mouth with tears in his eyes. "Thank you for telling me that, you can't know how much it means to me."
He kissed me again, his kiss soft but turning passionate. His tongue sliding into my mouth and stealing my breath, our bodies entwined again
"Will..." I breathed against his mouth. "...I'll never stop loving you. I know that I will die if I do."
He made love to me again, the two of us devouring each other like we were starving, crying and afterward, drifting off to sleep lying in each other's arms. It has always been said that the second time is always better. And boy is that fact right! If this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up.
