A/N: Hello. This is a conspiracy. Really! *Nods sagely* Believe it! This is my plan to take over the world. I am going to make big bucks from this and I will then use the money to buy myself a huge army of pocket elves and have them put a secret potion into the soups of everyone and then everyone in the world will each sent me a dollar through the mail and I will have a gazillion dollars in no time! Then I will use the money to buy Louis Vuitton.

A/N two: I am crazy. Ignore me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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"Neh Sakura-chan!" Yelled a blonde boy with strange whiskers pattern on his face like a cat cosplay attempt gone wrong.

"Yeah?" answered the girl with the stupid pink hair. (Because like seriously, who has pink hair? It is obviously from a wacked dye job)

"Where do babies come from?"

"I… I… "And Naruto's face was plastered to the wall across the street. It got really swollen. The crazy blonde dude had to beg the crazy pink hair bitch not to kill him. He even got onto his knees, making it almost painful to watch.

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"Eh eh Shikamaru! Where do babies come from?" (Seriously, that boy never gives up)

"Really, Naruto?" asked the dude with the strange pineapple hair with a pained expression.

"Yeah! Yeah! Sakura-chan wouldn't tell me when I ask her!" screamed the blonde while he bounced on the stop. (somebody lock that boy up already!)

"Go away, explaining is troublesome."

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"Chouji~!"

"Hey Naruto!"

"Do you know where babies came from?"

"Hmmm…" pondered the fat dude with the funny underwear-like scarf on his head.

"I have no idea. Why not we ask Ino?" Suggested the fat dude as a girl with long blonde hair walks into the Barbeque Shack.

Both of them got beaten up when they asked Ino to show them where exactly the "Sacred Tunnel" that only females have is.

Those two morons ought to have their brains examined.

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"Yo Kiba! Do you know where babies came from?"

"Yeah! My nee-chan just explained it to me the other day! Took me weeks of persuasion before she told me! But it is all worth it. It is totally cool!"

-

And that is how Naruto went home thinking about little tadpole like objects called "the Sperm" battling one another in an intense fight which only the strongest can survive.

"I wonder if they had used weapons… But since they are inside a woman wouldn't the kunais hurt them? Hmm…"

Yeah, Kiba's story consists of tens of thousands of little tadpole like objects battling one another in an intense fight armor and all, all while racing towards this giant egg-like thing and only the strongest ninja warrior tadpole can win and get to become a baby!

Naruto was actually very satisfied with this answer and had ever since been in awed whenever a woman walks by, wondering if there is an intense fight going on inside them now.

The end.

A/N: Told you I am crazy.

I was actually inspired to write this when I was trying to get in to watch a rated M18 movie. I got caught and so while trotting away my friends (they're already 18. I am one month and plus to being 17) were like "Why were you conceived so late?"

Me being crazy actually pondered for a bit and told them that the battle towards the egg as a sperm has been long and intense and therefore it took two years. Then I went on and elaborated on how we have sperm-sized weapons and armors and how its dark so we need to light a torch and fight in the dark when some idiot sperm dropped the torch.

This story is un-beta-ed, and wrote on a whim. If you decided that you hate it, go ahead, hate it. I don't care. But if you decided that that you love it... I love you too. There isn't a sarcastic option to choose from when it asks me what genre is the story and it makes me sad.