Chapter 1

O- Just 'cause we're telling you this story doesn't' mean we're alive at the end of it.

L- This could all be pre-recorded and we could be talking to you from the bottom of the ocean. Yeah, it's that kind of story.

O- 'Cause things just got so out of control.

L- Let's go back to where it started, here in paradise.

O- Where they say god parked himself on the seventh day. But they towed him on the eighth.

L- And this is Ben and Chon's hole in the wall by the sea.

O- Paid for in cash.

L- Not bad for two young Laguna dudes.

As two young lovers fucked on the couch, a young woman walked into the room and into the kitchen, not minding the two on the couch.

She opened and pulled out miracle whip, mustard and bologna. She put them on the counter and got some bread.

As she made her sandwich, she would glance at the two, Chon and O, on the couch.

L- Who are definitely not employable on Wall Street.

O- Chon is the killer. Two tours, Iraq, Afghanistan, and he came back with a lot of cash, but no soul.

L- He's always trying to fuck the war out of himself.

O- We have orgasms, he has "wargasms". So I guess we try to give him back some of the things that he's lost.

O- Chon is the love of our lives. Call me O. I was named after Ophelia, the bi-polar basket case in Hamlet, who committed suicide. So I cut it down to just O.

The two noticed the woman sitting on the counter, eating a sandwich, while somewhat watching them but didn't care, it was normal everyday stuff to them.

L- My name's Lina, it has two different meanings. Tender in Arabic, and Lady in Italian and Old English.

Lina, the black-haired, brown-eyed beauty, sitting on the counter jumped down and walked over to O passing by Chon.

As she passed, Chon quickly grabbed her by the arm and turned her towards him. He grabbed the back of her head and locked his lips with hers. She kissed back, her hands on his chest before pulling away and letting him go to his guns.

She sat down next to O and they started to smoke.

O- Dope's supposed to be bad but in a bad bad world, it's good.

L- Chon says drugs are a rational response to insanity.

Lina and O were enjoying their moment when the computer signaled. Lina laid her head on Os lap.

"Chon you want some," Lina asked but didn't get an answer. Both girls looked at each other before going up to where Chon was sitting at the dining room table with the computer in front of him.

Lina walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed his neck and he brings a hand up to touch her arm.

"What is that important that you gotta like so much?" O asked standing next to Lina.

Both girls looked at the screen to a video showing lots of blood and severed heads surrounding it, with a person walking around.

"What is that?" Lina asked. "Is that Iraq?"

"No, Mexico," Chon answered still looking at the video. It started to show bodies hanging from the walls with no head. A man lifted up a head and kicked it before the video stopped on his masked face. Two seconds later a message came up.

'THESE GUYS WERE STUPID. BE SMARTER.

DON'T MAKE US GO LIVE :(

WE NEED TO TALK.

TIME AND PLACE COMING...!'

Lina stood up straighter. "Where's Ben, isn't he still in Burma?" O asked.

"No, Africa, some place saving Africans," Chon told them staring at the screen.

"He said he was going to be gone three weeks," Lina said with her hands on his shoulders.

"That's changing now," Chon told them before tearing his eyes away from the screen to look at his girls. "Let's get some air."

He stood up and looked at the screen before grabbing both and leading them outside. Lina on his left, O on his right.

O- I guess you figured out by now, if people are willing to go Henry the 8th on this.

L- Chon and Ben grow some of the best weed in the world.