As I looked out over the jet black water of the Mediterranean and was lulled by the rhythmic sound of the sea, I couldn't help but reflect over the last nine and a half weeks of my life. In the past sixty-eight days, my emotions have ranged from the lowest of lows, when I thought I had lost Edward to Blanche Ingram and then his car accident, to the highest of highs when we were joined together for all eternity as man and wife. And now, here I am standing on a terrace of a whitewashed villa on the not so secluded French Riviera, two days before the one month anniversary of our wedding day. You would think that I would be on cloud nine, and reader, you would be right. I have everything that I could ever want in a husband. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me body and soul. Who worships the ground I walk on. Who would give me anything I wanted on a silver platter. The only problem is, the one thing that I want more than anything else in this whole world is a bit absurd and cannot possibly be given to me.
The night was warm yet comfortable as a light breeze came in off of the sea. We had just returned from a late romantic dinner at a small family owned restaurant that only the locals seem to know about. Edward was getting himself a drink and I was basking in the light of the moon, the smell of the sea, and the sound of the surf. Each time a wave came ashore, I could feel my body respond down to the smallest atom of my being. Instinctively, I connected with Mother Earth. My body swayed in time and my breathing matched the rhythm of the waves as they came in and washed out in an endless cycle.
But that primal connection was quickly shattered by a strong presence. As soon as I felt it, the little hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And when I heard his quiet footsteps on the stone terrace, my pulse began to race.
'My goddess of the night,' Edward whispered, brushing his lips against my ear as he slipped his free arm around my waist.
I shivered and relaxed my body into his, relishing in his strength and warmth. Loving how he cradled me in a protective cocoon.
'I hope I am not disturbing you, Jane. You looked like you were deep in thought. Were you thinking about what you would like for our one month anniversary?'
I paused for a moment. Should I tell him what I want, even though he could never give it to me? And would he laugh at me when he hears how ridiculous and immature I am being in wanting what I cannot possibly have? I decided against telling him what I really desired.
'I already have you. What more could I ever want?' I said as I clasped my hands over his and pulled his arm tighter around me. What I said wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.
He simpered in response to my answer.
'You're smiling,' I replied confidently.
'How do you know?' he asked while swirling his drink and trying desperately to suppress another grin. 'You can't see my face.'
'When we are this close, Edward, I can feel every expression you make as if were my own.'
Now I felt a huge smile cross his lips before the sound of clinking ice passed my ear. He brought the drink up to his mouth and as he tilted up the glass, a bead of water rolled down the side and fell into the curve of my neck. I shuddered. Edward noticed my reaction and ran the bottom edge of his glass across my sun kissed flesh. My body tensed and my heart pounded when I felt the sensation of an icy finger travel across my shoulders.
Blood was echoing in my ears, yet I heard the glass go up to his mouth again. I noticed it lingered there longer than normal before his cool tongue danced down my neck, heating up my already warm skin. I gasped before I let go of him and spun around. Edward's arm never lost contact with my waist and continued to hold me close. Our eyes locked in a passionate stare and I could hear and feel the change in his breathing as I reached out for the glass, never breaking our gaze. Instead of taking the tumbler from his hand, I removed an ice cube and quickly brought it up to his face. While the ice melted in my fingers, I traced his lips with it before leaning in and warming up his mouth with mine. He responded by letting out a guttural moan and pulling me even closer into his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued to kiss him deeply as our bodies melded into one another.
My hands frantically swept down the length of his back to his buttocks. I took one in each hand and gripped them firmly before crushing my hips into his. The heat from Edward's desire seared through his clothing and into my core. As much as I ached for him to be inside me, we stayed on the patio kissing and caressing one another for some time. Even though we were fully clothed, nothing was left untouched as we eagerly explored each other in the moonlight.
I soon tired of the material between Edward's skin and mine, so I flipped open the buttons of his shirt and spread the fabric wide. The breeze off the sea had now picked up, causing his shirt to flutter out behind him. I smiled to myself when I realized that here, standing in front of me, was a man who looked like he had just jumped off of the cover of a romance novel. And he was all mine to do with as I pleased. So, I leaned into the curly hair that covered his toned chest and slowly brushed my nose, my cheeks, and my lips against him until he threw back his head and groaned loudly. The dark sound emanating from his throat set something off in me and I became wild. Without even thinking about how much I could hurt him, I seized handfuls of his chest hair and pulled. Edward's chest rose and fell roughly as he cried out in pain that sounded like it was mixed with pleasure, so I didn't stop. I couldn't stop as I savagely bit his torso and dug my nails into his skin, drawing blood.
When I tasted the fluid, I pulled away and put some on my finger so I could look at it. Surprised to see that I was capable of being so brutal, I meekly showed it to Edward. His mouth was open and he was still breathing hard as I looked up at him with remorse in my eyes.
Before I had a chance to blink, he grabbed the top of my dress and ripped the material away from my body. My breath caught as the sound of the tearing silk sent shock waves to my center. Neither of us moved as Edward stared at my exposed breasts. I was breathing heavily now and he intently watched the rise and fall of my chest, getting lost in the hypnotic rhythm. His breathing pattern soon matched mine and between the two of us, we were able to drown out the sound of the surf. When he was able to pull his gaze away from my breasts, he looked up at me. I could see that his eyes were dark with desire, so I bit my lip and waited.
Edward aggressively pushed me up against the cool marble and leaned me over the railing on his outstretched arms. I felt like a goddess about to be worshiped in the moonlight. But instead of putting his lips to my body, he blew warm air down the front of my neck and around my nipples. This unexpected sensation on my sensitive skin caused me to cry out and pull his head closer to my chest. As much as I enjoyed this new experience, I wanted to feel his mouth on my breasts. So I tried directing Edward to my need by bringing my hard peak closer to his lips. Knowing what I wanted, but still wanting to tease me, he hovered his mouth over the tip of my breast and licked his lips. After moments passed in agonized anticipation, Edward trapped my nipple in his warm mouth, rolling over it again and again with his tongue. I cried out once more and grasped at his hair as I continued to burn for him.
Needing him to fill me, I push my pelvis into his and was just about to encircle Edward's hip with one of my legs when he brought me up off the railing. While holding me against his body, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he slid his hands down my back and hooked them underneath my bottom. Our eyes met briefly before we devoured each other with a kiss. Lips pulled and tugged savagely. Tongues mingled and explored. It was getting really hard to breathe, but we didn't care and kept kissing until we had to pull ourselves away from each other. Our eyes met again as we tried to catch our breath. We stood in the moonlight just staring into each other's eyes as our chests rose and fell in time with the rolling water.
I couldn't wait any longer, so I breathlessly demanded that Edward make love to me right now. Without another word spoken between us, he turned around, walked across the terrace and up to the bedroom with me still clinging to him. Once inside, he put me down and I watched him remove his clothes. His tanned, muscular body looked amazing as he stood proud and erect before me. My eyes hungrily consumed every inch of him while I gracefully eased myself out of my panties.
When I was naked, Edward moved to the edge of the mattress and looked back at me. I slowly walked over to him and could feel my desire intensify with each step. Impatiently, Edward reached out, pulled me into his body, and rolled me down onto the bed. We crushed our hips together as we laid side by side until I swung my leg over his so he could penetrate me. Our eyes locked and we both moaned loudly in anticipation as he griped my bottom tightly with his right hand. Slowly, achingly slowly, he inched himself into my core. I gasped and shuddered while Edward's face strained and contorted as he went deeper into my soft warmth.
When our bodies were fully connected it didn't take long for us to agree on a rhythm which carried us rapidly towards mutual fulfillment. Pressure built up in my belly as each push pulled us closer to our goal. As much as I yearned for completion, I never wanted this moment to end. It took every ounce of self control, but somehow I managed to slow us down so we could try to delay the inevitable.
Edward tried his best to accommodate me, but my slick muscles urged him to go harder, faster, and he did. He drove himself into me repeatedly and my body responded by clamping down on him right before the vibrations ripped through me. Just when I was going to throw my head back and cry out, he silenced my voice with a kiss that reached down into my soul and wouldn't let go. And with that powerful kiss, Edward shattered and gave me everything he had.
We clung to each other in awed silence for some time, not wanting to disturb the moment. When he was able to find his voice, he kissed my forehead and sighed,
'That was incredible, Mrs. Rochester.'
I smiled back, but my eyes betrayed me.
Edward looked concerned and fired off one question after another.
'What is it, my love? Was it not good for you? Do you not like me calling you Mrs. Rochester?'
I kissed him firmly on the mouth before answering him.
'It is always incredible, Edward, and I love it when you call me Mrs. Rochester. I know that I was born to be your wife and Mrs. Rochester is the sweetest name anyone could give me. It's just . . .'
'What?'
I shook my head and turned away, feeling embarrassed.
'Don't mind me. I'm being silly.'
Edward lovingly turned my face back to his.
'Jane, I hope you know that you can tell me anything.'
Looking deep into his eyes, I saw all of the love he felt for me. So I took a deep breath and blurted out,
'It's just that I love being your wife so much that I wish I was the first and only Mrs. Edward Fairfax Rochester.' I shied away and waited for him to laugh at me. He didn't. He took me in his arms and held me close.
'Jane, you don't know how much I wish I could go back and change my past,' he said sadly.
I broke away from his warm embrace and looked him in the eyes again.
'Please don't say that. I don't want you to change your past. Everything you went through has made you the man you are today. And I love that man.' I took his face in my hands, 'I love you, Edward.'
'And I love you, Jane. You know that I would give you anything you wanted, if I could. Right?'
'I know.'
'Well, would it help you to know that in here,' he said as he put his hand over his heart, 'you are the first and only Mrs. Edward Fairfax Rochester?'
I smiled at him.
'Thank you, Edward. That really means a lot to me.'
There was nothing left to say, so I snuggled into his warm body and quickly fell asleep.
The next day was spent pretty much the way Edward and I spent every day of our honeymoon. We got up late and made breakfast together before he checked his e-mail and made some phone calls. Then we walked down to the market to pick up fresh produce and bread before returning to the villa and having a late lunch on the terrace.
On this particular day, I spent the rest of the afternoon working on my tan and reading. Meanwhile, Edward took a long jog on the beach before joining me on the terrace and doing some work on his lap top. Afterwards, we cleaned ourselves up and drove into Cannes for dinner. We had some time to kill before our reservation, so we walked up and down the Boulevard de la Croisette and window shopped. Edward wanted to buy me everything in sight and tried to get me to go into some of the exclusive clothing and jewelry stores, but I declined. We then enjoyed a leisurely dinner at La Mirabelle before heading back home and making love all night long.
After a wonderful nights rest, Edward woke me up on our one month anniversary with what I thought was breakfast in bed. Instead of there being food on the silver tray, there was a beautiful long stem red rose and a white scroll tied with a pink ribbon. I picked up the scroll and carefully untied the bow, expecting to see words of love written by Edward's hand. To my surprise, the first words I read were "Certificate of Death." I looked over at Edward who was sitting on the edge of the bed, drinking a cup of coffee.
'Is this some kind of a joke?' I asked, sounding a little annoyed as I waved the piece of paper in the air.
'No, it's not a joke,' he replied nonchalantly before taking another sip.
'Then why did you give me a death certificate for our one month anniversary? Don't you think that is a little morbid, Edward? Are you trying to tell me something?'
He laughed,
'It is not yours, Jane. Read it!'
I went on to read it and quickly realized that it belonged to Bertha.
'I still don't understand. Why are you giving me a printout of Bertha's death certificate?'
Edward shook his head before kissing me on my mouth.
'Look at her name.'
I looked back down at the paper and read "Bertha Antoinetta Mason." I still didn't get it.
He sighed,
'This is a copy of a legal document, Jane. It proves that Bertha never changed her name when we got married. So you are the first and only Mrs. Edward Fairfax Rochester.'
When it finally sank in, I pushed Edward down on the bed and rained kisses all over his face. I was never so happy in my life.
Decades later, when I look back on my married life, that simple piece of paper will always be remembered as the best anniversary present Edward has ever given me.
