This one is for all you Pepsi-cola lovers or haters, depends on what you classify as what. And it's obviously alternate universe! Sorry for the lateness, but inspiration hits when it hits.

Zickachik has been going over this like a wonderful beta and been making suggestions. So, the story has been cleaned up a lot on both spelling/grammar/form and content. So check out the changes.

Dedication: To the future Lawyer. Happy now?

Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders and I own our beloved Pepsi-cola

On with the show!

October 29th 1966

The October wind blew the leaves around on the front porch and a little kid let out a high-pitched squeal of pleasure somewhere down the road. My hangover thumped with more vigor around my skull and I moaned at the pain, refusing to open my eyes ever again. Someone chuckled and I growled.

"I hate kids," I muttered.

"Well, that's a good thing. At least you won't have any ideas of bringing more of you into the world." That was Steve, I was sure of it.

"Well, at least they'd be good looking brats and I wouldn't poison them with my hair fumes," I added.

"Go to hell," Steve replied and I smirked.

"Pepsi, Steve, play nice now," Two-Bit directed and I would have flipped him off, but I just did not have the energy.

"Easy for you to say," I muttered back.

"Hey, no one told you to get drunk last night, man."

I sighed. Last night was the first night Dallas had been out of the cooler since Soda and I had turned 17. He'd pulled that unloaded gun of his and someone had turned him in for possession of illegal firearms. Turns out it was just stolen, since it was his dad's, and he only did a month and a bit. Naturally, he felt it his duty to take us out and get plastered and do everything he never could do in the cooler. I didn't remember much after the first dozen shots, but somehow I had managed to get home and deposited on the couch. It was just as well; Ponyboy didn't need to cuddle up with a drunk. And he certainly didn't need to tip toe around a hung over roommate. I wasn't complaining – I loved the couch. It was better than bed most days. But then Steve and Two-Bit had turned up and everything had gone to hell. They left the inside door open so all the noise from the street could attack my sensitive ears. Not to mention the cold and the voices and the clatter of everyday life I had managed to avoid up 'til now. And somehow, I just knew Sodapop wasn't feeling a thing from where he was passed out on his bed. Don't look so shocked. Sodapop doesn't drink unless he's in a mood to. This made time two in his life where he had touched the stuff. We'd been fifteen that time and the night had ended in me being arrested and Soda waking up at Dallas' not remembering a thing beyond the hangover. Dallas was a bad influence. No one else could get Soda to drink himself stupid.

Mickey Mouse blared from the TV and I dared to crack a lid at where Two-Bit was sitting cross-legged in front of it. I groaned and threw an arm over my eyes. I hated this. Two-Bit laughed and I winced. I heard a sigh somewhere off to my left and someone moved around. A couple minutes later, Darry was shaking my shoulder slightly because I was almost lulled back into a peaceful sleep. I looked at him from under my arm and hoped the glare I gave him was words enough.

"Here," he sat the glass he was carrying down on the table and grabbed a hold of my shoulders, hauling me up into a sitting position against the pillow.

"Damn, Darry," I cursed as the world span.

"Drink this and take these," he offered the glass with a handful of aspirin. Now, I could deal with the pills, but the glass?

"What is it?" I asked, not liking the looks of the foreign drink.

"Dad's hangover cure," he answered.

"Dad had a cure?" I asked, popping the pills and taking a sip.

"Yeah. But I always wondered if the cure was worse than the problem," Darry added as I forced myself to swallow the concoction.

It tasted like raw egg, wet dog fur, tomatoes and a lot of other things I couldn't place. I wondered where the hell he would have found the dog, but thought better of it and swallowed back more of that disgusting slop.

"It's a good thing he has his eyes closed," Two-Bit commented. "That looks as bad as it probably tastes."

"Better, actually," Darry assured him.

"Hey, why haven't you shared your cure with me?" Two-Bit asked with an accusing tone.

"Tried it on a few other people. Only seems to work on Dad and me. Maybe Pepsi, if he's lucky."

Maybe? I was drinking this shit for maybe? I was going to push it away, but Darry wrapped a hand over mine. I cracked an eye at him and met his level gaze.

"Drink the whole thing. If you don't feel better you can always throw it up," he pointed out and I was tempted to do just that. Instead, I chugged the end of it and pushed the glass away.

"Now what?" I coughed.

"You lay back down, nap for an hour and we'll see."

Gee. Didn't that sound like fun? And how was I supposed to nap with Two-Bit blasting the TV and Steve hanging around and the kids outside and…ah, screw it. I slumped back down into my horizontal position from before and closed my eyes. I was tempted to open them again when the door slammed shut and someone kicked their boots against the wall.

"How long's he been out?" That was Dallas.

About seven seconds…

"About eight hours," Darry offered.

"What happened to one hour?" I yawned.

"Not my fault your internal clock is broken," Darry offered simply.

"Wouldn't surprise me with how wasted you got last night," Dallas was closer now.

"Don't remind me," I told him, cracking an eye at where he was leaning back against the couch near my hip.

"How do you feel?" Darry asked.

"How do you…better, actually," I told him, a little miffed.

I opened both my eyes and found the headache gone. I didn't feel like I was going to throw up and I was fairly certain I was hungry. And I was pretty sure I could even stand up if I had to. That was some cure.

"Soda took to it, too, so I figured as much." Darry looked pleased.

"Speaking of my reflection, where is he?" I asked, sitting up a bit.

"About five hours ago, he thought it would be a good idea to get everyone out of the house so you could sleep. And he was bouncing with energy as it was. They're down at the lot playing football or something."

And he stayed here to take care of me. Damn, Darry was turning into a mother hen. I glanced over at Dallas, wondering how wasted he got last night, but I could tell that question would not be appreciated. He was sitting and doing nothing, not even talking much. Oh, he was getting over a hangover, too. The difference was his wasn't as bad.

"I'm going to get supper started. Any requests?" Darry asked.

"Anything that you can cook fast," I told him and he smirked before going into the kitchen.

I glanced down at the back of Dallas' head again and wondered when he was going to tell me about whatever the hell he had turned up here to tell me. I may be blond, but I know how Dallas' head works and this was how it works.

"Buck's throwing a Halloween party tomorrow night," Dallas offered.

"And why do I care again?" I asked.

"Well, you told him you'd be there with bells on, princess," Dallas replied and I was sure tempted to smack him upside the back of the head. But this was Dallas we were talking about and he was fighting a hangover. Like I said, blond but not dumb enough to do anything stupid like that. I preferred my nose in working order.

"And when did I do that?"

"Just before you decided you'd prefer Buck's shoes covered with puke."

"Well, I have a good excuse for not going, then. Just tell him I don't remember, because I don't."

"Yeah, he'd let you off, but I'd still have to go and I'm not going on my own. Got it?" Dallas's tone left no tone for argument and I sighed.

"I'm not dressing up, though. He can go to hell if that's what he thinks."

"So, you're not going as a princess after all?" Dallas teased.

"Please tell me I didn't…"

He was smiling and I groaned. That was the last time I got more wasted than he did.

/-/-/-/-/-/

I sat against the bar the next night, wondering what the hell possesses people to get dressed up as apes and pirates and…princesses. It just didn't make sense to me. Sure, when I was a kid it was fine. I'd have a blast going out with the guys and pulling pranks and raising hell. But was I was too old for that to be cute and just old enough for it to be disturbing the peace. Cops like Pripich would be willing to throw me in the cooler in a heartbeat for something dumb, like being outside tonight. So I guess I was better off here.

"What'll you have, PC?" Buck asked, obviously too drunk to know when he was treading in dangerous waters.

"The same thing I've been drinking for the last three hours," I snapped at him.

"You should have a beer, man. It's Halloween!"

I glanced up at Buck and his cheesy clown costume, thinking he should wear it all year round and then maybe he'd look less dumb than he usually did. Then he smirked and the gaps in his teeth showed and I thought that the only thing he could be, make up or no, was a Hank Williams-digging cowboy.

"Just a soda, Buck," I ordered, not keen on getting drunk within two days of just being drunk.

"Alright, but don't blame me if you don't have any fun."

I wasn't planning on having any fun. I was here to…man, I wasn't even sure why I was here anymore. Dallas obviously didn't need me. Sylvia had cornered him the moment he walked in and they'd drank for a while before disappearing upstairs for some make up sex we'd all be hearing through the floorboards if it weren't for the country music blasting from the speakers. I sighed and ran a finger around the rim of my Pepsi. You can bet Buck thought that was hilarious. The whole 'A Pepsi for Pepsi' was getting old and I was going to hit him the next time he said it. I looked down at the dark pop and sighed. This was pathetic.

"Well, don't you look like this party's a funeral."

I glanced at the leggy blonde who had just sat down on the bar stool next to where I was sitting. I sighed. Yeah, there was definitely a sign on my back that said 'Come and talk to the only guy in the room who wants to be alone'. I'd probably get less attention with a 'kick me' sign pinned to my shirt.

"How about I buy you a drink?"

"Do you know how to talk in anything but questions?" I asked in irritation.

"Of course," she answered, leaning closer to me.

"Listen, I –" I looked up to tell her to get the hell away from me because I was in a foul mood, but I just couldn't.

She was gorgeous. Brown hair, blue eyes, a couple freckles across her nose, a dimple on her right cheek…I had never been knocked over like that by a single look at a woman before.

"How about a whiskey?" she asked, still smiling at me.

"I'm not drinking tonight," I protested.

"Of course, you are," she corrected.

"Of course, I am," I repeated, not at all sure why I hadn't told her to go to hell like every thought in my brain was commanding, and she rewarded me with a dazzling smile.

"That's a good boy."

/-/-/-/-/-/-

I don't rightly remember what happened after that. The whole night was a blur, but I figure that little girl must have gotten me good and drunk from the way my head was pounding. I brought a hand up to my face and pushed the palm of my hand into my right eye, trying to make the pain go away by force. Where was Darry and his hang over cure when I needed it? I lay still for a few moments before slowly opened my eyes. The ceiling wasn't familiar, but at the same time it was. I had to think hard for a moment before I realized I was in a bedroom at Buck's. I remembered that girl again and how she had pushed for my attention. I groaned then. I so did not need this. Sure, Lily and I had split and I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted to, with whom I wanted. But I wasn't out to father a kid anytime soon and I really can't recall the last time I saw an actual condom hanging around Buck's and I sure as hell wasn't carrying them on me. I decided I would worry about that later and if she did show up pregnant I was going to deny ever having met her.

I stretched out on the bed, completely sure I was alone. I felt less hung over now than I had when I first woke up. In fact, I was sure I would only have a headache today. I wondered if I was getting immune to being drunk or something but doubted that. That would be too good to hope for. I rolled over and felt the cool air on my back. Well, someone got me naked last night. I sighed and gave up on the lazing about tiredness I always preferred first thing in the morning. I rolled out of bed, like I did every morning, and gave my body a good standing stretch. That's when I looked down and surprised the hell out of myself by only sitting back down on the bed with a thump instead of passing out and ending up face down on the floor.

'No, no, no, no,' I chanted to myself. 'This is just someone's idea of a bad joke.'

But I knew it wasn't. Somehow I knew this wasn't even a bad dream. I set my head in my hands and pushed my long blonde hair out of my face. I felt close to tears and was considering bawling when I shook my head. I was not going to let myself become a chick.

Even if it appeared I now was one.


Well, it looks like Pepsi's got himself a problem. Man, I love messing with this guy.

Any comments are welcome and flames are accepted.

Happy Halloween, Safe Samhain and, as always,

See ya in the spooky papers!!!

Tens and Zickachik