Q-ute Little Matchmakers
By PaRu (
PaRuJinn@marajade.net)Synopsis: Q returns to Voyager, but it's not exactly who you think. He enlists the help of Naomi Wildman to further his plan.
Rated PG-13 for sexual situations but not graphic sex.
***********************************
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" a very confused Naomi Wildman asked the boy who was lounging on the couch in the quarters she shared with her mother.
"Ah, Naomi," the boy said. He was about Naomi's age but seemed a hundred times more obnoxious than she had ever thought of being. "I was getting bored at home. You know, adults always on your case..."
"But WHO ARE YOU?" Naomi repeated.
"Ohp," the boy said as he adjusted himself so that he was sitting with his back on the seat and his head hanging over the edge. "I am Q."
"I thought you'd be older," Naomi said. "A lot older."
"You must be thinking of my dad," Q said. "He's called Q as well."
"Then you were named after him?"
"Everyone in the continuum is called Q," the boy said as he adjusted again, this time to a standing position on the ceiling.
Naomi turned to look at him with her own head down, her body twisted to accommodate the view then squealed when she suddenly found herself standing on the ceiling with the strange boy. "If you're a Q," she asked with a giggle. "Then what do you want with me?"
"I've had an interest in this ship for the last few weeks," Q said. "My dad said that if it weren't for my Auntie Kathryn, then I would have never been made."
"So?"
"So," Q said. "I want to pay her back."
"You're not going to do anything bad?" Naomi asked with concern. "Are you?"
"Not on your life," Q replied. "I like her. She's my Auntie."
Naomi sighed with relief. "Then what are you going to do?"
"Play matchmaker," Q answered. "And I need your help."
"What is matchmaking and why do you need my help?"
"Auntie would never trust me," Q told the girl as he walked around the quarters on the ceiling. "Because of who my father is. But you... you are another story entirely." He stopped pacing and turned to look at Naomi. "As for what matchmaking is..., well, my father told me that she likes Commander Chuckles..."
"Chuckles?"
"I believe that his real name is Chakotay," Q said. "I'm not talking friends kind of like. I'm talking about..." he paused to gauge her reaction to his next words. "I'm talking passionate-kisses-let's-get-married-and-have-kids kind of like."
Naomi didn't seem very surprised. "Everyone already knows that," she said. "Are you thinking that we should try to get them together?"
"Why not?" the young Q replied. "They deserve each other and this pining for a man halfway across the galaxy isn't going to make her happy."
"Much less Chuckles..., I mean, Chakotay," Naomi said with a small giggle. "What do you suggest we do?"
"I suggest we do anything we can to submarine them," Q said. "Get them together at all costs. Preferably alone."
Naomi looked thoughtful. "I have an idea," she said then whispered in his ear. Q smiled evilly.
"Sound's great," he said. "You set it up, I'll set it into motion." With a flash he was gone, leaving Naomi still on the ceiling.
Her mother chose that moment to walk in the door. "Naomi, where are you?"
"Up here," Naomi squeaked.
The young Q's head suddenly appeared near her daughter and Ensign Wildman screamed. "Sorry, babe," he said to Naomi. "Almost forgot." His hand appeared long enough for the fingers to snap, and Naomi found herself sitting on the couch. "Later, babe," Q said then was gone.
************************
"Come in," Captain Kathryn Janeway called when the door chimed. When young Naomi Wildman entered, Janeway put down the padd she was studying and smiled at her. "Hello Naomi. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yes," Naomi said, trying not to laugh and succeeding mostly. A smile snuck past her defenses as she went on. "I heard you haven't had any time on the holodeck lately and thought you might like to share my time."
Janeway set her chin on her hand and looked at the child. "What do you have planned for us?"
"A picnic," Naomi said. "Maybe we can fly a kite."
"I've never flown a kite before," Janeway said. "Sounds like fun."
"Great," Naomi said with a grin. "I'll see you in Holodeck 2 at 1600 hours. And dress casual. You'll be more comfortable in civilian clothes at a picnic."
"Sounds like a plan," Janeway said as she watched the child back to the door. "I'll see you then."
At that, Naomi fled to the turbolift before she could start laughing. Q appeared before she could give her destination. "How are you going to get the Commander there?"
"You'll see," Naomi said. "You just worry about getting them trapped there."
"I have that planned as well as a romantic setting," Q reported. "You just do your half and I'll be happy."
Naomi gave him a sharp salute. "Yes sir." She turned to the doors. "Computer, where is Commander Chakotay?"
"Commander Chakotay is in the mess hall," the familiar feminine voice of the computer said.
"Then take me to the mess hall," Naomi instructed.
Chakotay had just finished his meal when Naomi caught him. "You caught me just in time," he said. "I was just getting ready to leave. What was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Have you ever flown a kite?" Naomi asked and she could almost her a snort and grunt from the child Q.
"When I was a child," Chakotay said thoughtfully. "Why?"
"I was hoping you could teach me," she replied. "Could you this afternoon, say 1600?"
"I usually have dinner about 1600," Chakotay replied.
"I'll have Neelix make us a picnic," Naomi said. "It'll be fun."
Chakotay smiled at the eager child. "Then I'll just have to eat dinner with you. I could ask Neelix to join us..."
"No!" Naomi said a little too quickly. "Uh, I mean, he'll be busy with dinner. Maybe he could join us next time."
Chakotay couldn't shake the sudden feeling that she was planning something. "Your wish is my command."
Naomi couldn't help it anymore and giggled. "Holodeck 2. And wear civilian clothes. I think you would be more comfortable in them."
Chakotay nodded. "I'll see you then."
*********************
Chakotay entered the holodeck to find a picnic lunch laid out on the ground in a beautiful meadow. Near the blanket and basket was a kite, strong and ready to fly. He glanced at the time as he entered and saw that he was about five minutes early. He decided to get the kite in the air as it was a perfect day for flying it.
Not long after getting the object in the air, he heard a voice behind him. "I didn't know that Naomi had invited you to join us," Janeway said.
Chakotay glanced back at the captain then took a second look. She was dressed in a jumpsuit that looked for all the word like a dress. It was sleeveless and blue with a pattern that changed when she moved. Chakotay had a sudden flashback to the time they had spent on New Earth and turned his attention back to the kite.
"I didn't know that she had invited you," he said as Kathryn openly studied his own clothing. A blue tunic and brown pants that he looked very good in.
Her eyes stopped at a portion of his body that the pants did wonders for then caught herself and looked at the picnic. She noticed a padd sitting on top of the basket and picked it up to find that it was a note from Naomi. *I'm sorry that I couldn't make it. Go ahead and eat the meal. Neelix really outdid himself this time. Have fun with the kite. Love Naomi.*
"It seems," Kathryn began as she stepped up next to her first officer. "That we have been stood up." She handed him the padd.
"Here hold this," Chakotay said as he handed her the kite string and took the padd.
Janeway looked panicked for a moment. "I've never done this before," she said as a gust of wind came up and sent the kite out of control, pulling the string though her fingers.
Chakotay dropped the padd and reached around her to grab the string. When the kite was back under control, both realized the position that they had found themselves in. Kathryn was in his warm embrace and frozen as she felt his warm breath on her neck. She turned to look him in the eye. Time froze with them there for several seconds before Kathryn broke away from his gaze returned control of the kite to him and escaped the circle of his arms by ducking under them. The kite responded by taking a nosedive into the ground and shattering.
Kathryn rubbed her arms in the suddenly chilling air while Chakotay climbed a small rise to retrieve the broken kite. When she saw him standing on the rise with the kite in hand, she climbed the rise after him to see what he was looking at.
"What is it, Commander," she asked. If he had noticed her purposeful use of his title rather than his name, he didn't show it.
He pointed out the small building to her. "I wonder if she programmed this herself or if it was something she found in the database."
"Who knows," Kathryn said. "Except of course Naomi."
A sudden flash and darkening made the two officers look up at the overcast sky. "She had to have gotten it from the database," Chakotay said. "Computer, exit."
There was no response. "Computer," Kathryn repeated. "Exit."
Nothing happened and now it was beginning to rain.
"Janeway to bridge," Kathryn said. Again there was no response. "There must be a malfunction in the holodeck."
"That would certainly explain the rain," Chakotay said. "We can make it to the building down there before it starts to pour..." then realized that it was already beginning to pour.
"Or before we get any wetter," Kathryn said as Chakotay took her hand and they made a run for it.
They made it to the building, which turned out to be a cabin, in record time. Inside, it was warm and cozy and they found that a boy about Naomi's age waited for them.
"Welcome," he said. "May I offer you something warm and dry to wear?"
He held out a couple of soft silky robes which Chakotay and Kathryn took with mild apprehension. He gestured to two doors in the end of the room and then escorted them to them. "I have hot baths ready for you," he said. "And you can talk through the wall if you'd like."
Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other then went into the separate rooms. Sure enough, there were two hot baths and a partition that they could hear each other through. They spoke mostly of ship matters, a topic deemed safe by both but annoying to the boy, to Q, as he waited for them to finish.
The surprise came when they got out of the tubs and found that their clothes were gone, only the robes that the boy had offered waited. They dried off and dressed in the robes, which came to a respectable length around their calves, then, at the boy's urging, returned to the main room.
An elegant candlelit table waited for them and the boy invited them to sit down. They were wary, but thought that since the boy was only holographic, what could it hurt to have a meal together.
The boy brought them each an appetizer of fruit a deep purple. Kathryn tasted it cautiously as Chakotay sniffed it. "It's delicious," she said with mild surprise as she watched Chakotay take a small bite for himself. She turned to the boy. "What is it?"
"It is Ngala fruit," the boy said. "From a planet called Alderaan. Don't worry. It's safe for human consumption."
"I've never heard of that planet," Chakotay said then took a larger bite of the luscious fruit. "Where exactly is it?"
The boy seemed thoughtful for a minute. "A galaxy far, far away," he said then disappeared into a third door that they assumed was the kitchen.
Half an hour passed after they consumed the fruit. They became less stiff and more loose, their talk moving from business to personal topics. Suddenly, Chakotay stood and walked across the room.
"Is it hot in here or is it just me?" he asked as the boy returned and poured them each a glass of purple wine, presumably made out the fruit that they had eaten so recently.
Kathryn gulped at the wine and waited as the boy filled the glass a second time. "I think it's both of us." She turned to the boy. "Are you hot?"
The boy shrugged. "Not at all," he said. "I can open a window." He paused. "But I wouldn't suggest it. The storm is still raging outside."
Chakotay turned to a window to look outside, finding that it was indeed still storming. "Computer, arch," he ordered and wasn't surprised when it didn't appear. He moved back to the table and sipped his drink. When he looked at Kathryn, he found that she was sweating and watched a bead of sweat roll down her neck and into the valley between her breasts.
He found himself unable to stop himself from watching as she took her cloth napkin and wiped her brow with it then followed the sweat bead down her neck and into the neckline of the robe she wore. The napkin had only succeeded in opening the collar of the robe a little more giving Chakotay a better view of the valley where the bead of moisture had disappeared. She pulled an ice cube from her water glass and ran it down her neck and all around her exposed skin.
Chakotay bit his tongue and grabbed his owned glass of ice water before dumping it over his head. Kathryn gasped. "What was that for?"
"Just trying to stop the direction my mind is taking me," Chakotay said as he picked up his napkin and began drying off his face.
Kathryn put the end of her finger in her mouth and sucked on it trying not to laugh. This only made her more desirable to Chakotay and he moved forward around the table, pulled her out of the chair and kissed her rather passionately, surprising them both. The kiss deepened as Kathryn put her hands on Chakotay's shoulders then moved them up into his hair.
Peeking in from the kitchen, the boy Q smiled and snapped his fingers, disappearing and leaving the couple alone to live out the next few hours in peace.
****************************
Q flashed into being near Naomi's bed where she lay on her stomach reading a story from a padd. "Mission accomplished," Q said as he sat down beside her.
"What did you do?" Naomi asked as she sat up.
"I gave them a kind of fruit called Ngala," Q said. "Some humanoids use it as an aphrodisiac."
"What's an 'aphrodisiac'?" Naomi asked carefully.
"Something adults use to make...," Q began then decided against it. "To make two people who are in love do what people in love do."
"You mean make love?" Naomi asked.
"So you aren't as backward as I thought you might be," Q laughed.
Before Naomi could respond to it, they were interrupted by a voice.
"Q!"
"Oh no," the young Q said.
"What?" Naomi asked.
"It's my mother," Q replied.
She appeared in a flash of light. "What trouble have you been getting into now?"
"No trouble mom," the boy said as he stood. He waved his hand to Naomi. "Just making friends." He paused. "You told me you wanted me to make friends."
"Friends in the continuum," Ms Q scolded.
"But there's no one my age in the continuum," he whined.
"Don't whine," Ms. Q said as she rolled her eyes. "You sound like your father when you whine."
"Sorry," young Q whispered.
"Well," she spoke again. "What kind of trouble did you get into this time?"
"No trouble...," he began.
"He was helping me with something," Naomi said. "The Captain and Commander..."
"Oh no!" Ms Q exclaimed then snapped her fingers and disappeared.
She reappeared in the cabin to find the captain and commander laying in a passionate embrace on their sides, face to face in a pile of pillows of the floor. They were very naked and very obviously making love. Ms Q wrinkled her nose at the quiet moans and turned her attention to the table. The plate still held the remains of the fruit and she picked up a piece. She closed her eyes and swore that her son would play the scarecrow for the next twenty years. Then she snapped her fingers and disappeared from the cabin.
Kathryn pushed herself slightly away from Chakotay and looked over his neck. "Did you hear that?" she asked as his lips moved to her neck for some exploring.
"Hear what?" Chakotay asked as he worked his way down.
Kathryn moaned. "Never mind," she whispered and brought his lips back to her own.
Ms. Q reappeared in Naomi's room. "You gave them Ngala fruit?" she asked the boy.
"I thought it would help," he said with a downtrodden look.
"Well it helped," she said. "It helped them right into bed." She wrinkled her nose. "Humanoid mating practice is one of the more..." She stopped at the look that Naomi gave her and changed her mind about what she was going to say. "Interesting."
Young Q stifled a laugh. "Then why didn't you stay longer to watch?"
"You shouldn't talk back to your mother like that," came another voice out of the air. A third Q, this one male, appeared. "She's just looking after your best interests." He looked at the young Q. "What did you do?"
"I... I...," he began. "Auntie Kathryn and Commander Chuckles..."
He wasn't able to finish when the older Q disappeared. "He shouldn't have done that," Ms. Q said.
Q found himself in the cabin where Kathryn and Chakotay had changed positions. Chakotay had found his way on top of his new lover and she had her legs bent with him between them. Q snorted at the fruit then turned to them and snorted again. "Get a room!" he exclaimed as he snapped his fingers and they disappeared.
They reappeared in Chakotay's bed under the covers. They pulled away from each other long enough for a few brief words.
"Was that Q?" Chakotay asked.
"I think so," Kathryn replied.
They looked at each other then decided they didn't much care as long as he wasn't disrupting the ship and went back to their lovemaking. If he *was* causing a disruption, they would be getting a call soon anyway.
Q the elder reappeared in Naomi's room. "Well," he said with his arms crossed as he looked at his son sternly. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
The young Q glanced at Naomi then back to his father. "I'm sorry?" he said with a wince and a shrug.
"What do you have to be sorry about?" Naomi asked. "You did something nice."
"For them maybe," Ms Q said. "But not for us. Disgusting."
Young Q snorted but kept quiet. "Naomi's right," Q the adult said.
"I am?" Naomi said as Young Q and Ms Q said, "She is?"
"We're supposed to teach him love and understanding," Q said. "Young Naomi is just the person to teach him that."
"I don't think I like the responsibility," Naomi said with a wince.
"It's not a responsibility," Q said. "It's a friendship."
"That I think I can handle," Naomi said with a smile. She turned to the younger Q. "When can you come back and play?"
"Later," the boy said. "Maybe I'll take you and show you where they grow that fruit I gave Auntie Kathryn and Chuckles."
"I look forward to it," Naomi said and the boy disappeared with his parents.
******************
Kathryn Janeway was exhausted during duty shift the next morning. Going over duty reports, she yawned several times and had half a dozen cups of coffee. Maybe the night had been a mistake, but she was way past caring. What she wanted to know was what had been in the fruit that she had eaten the night before. Not that she was complaining about the way it made her feel *or* its side effects. She had just over done it a little and was now sore in places she hadn't known she could be sore. Finishing the reports, she walked stiffly onto the bridge.
"Captain, you look a bit sore," Tom Paris commented from Conn. "What did you do last night?"
"Pareses Squares," Janeway replied as she fell into the command chair.
"Funny. That's what Chakotay said," Tom stated. "Did you play together?"
Chakotay snorted and Janeway silenced him with a stern look. "Something like that, yes," she replied. "Get your attention back to your station."
He did so, but not before she caught him throwing a glance back to Ensign Kim at Operations. She leaned over to Chakotay and spoke in a whisper. "Thanks for being discreet about last night."
"No problem Kathryn," Chakotay replied. "I think it best if we..."
He was interrupted by a flash and the appearance of the familiar adult Q and an unfamiliar boy. "Ah what a beautiful day!" Q exclaimed with his arms stretched wide. He looked at Janeway and Chakotay and winked. "Wouldn't you say?"
They stood and glowered at him. "I *thought* I saw you last night on the holodeck," Janeway said.
"You mean while you were, uh...," he glanced around then went on in a whisper that everyone on the bridge could hear. "Playing Pareses Squares?"
"Q," Chakotay said warningly.
"Don't worry, Chuckles," Q said. "I have no intention of spilling the beans about your night with Katie here..." He put his arm around the woman in question. "You're a lucky man."
Kathryn pushed him away. "What do you want Q?"
Q looked wounded. "Only to introduce you to my son, Q junior," he said.
The boy stepped forward. "Hello," he said.
Chakotay and Janeway looked shocked. It was the boy who had served them on the holodeck. Janeway turned back to Q. "If you had anything to do with what happened between me and my first officer last night..."
"He didn't know a thing about it," the boy said. "It was all my idea. Mine and Naomi's."
"Naomi Wildman?" Chakotay and Janeway said together.
"That would be her," Q said with a smile then took Janeway's hand and kissed it. "It couldn't have happened to a nicer person." He turned to Chakotay. "And congratulations, Chuckles. For a job well done."
There was a flash and he was gone. He left the boy behind, grinning at the two like an idiot. "Q," the boy's father said, then his hand appeared as if through an unseen door and pulled the boy by the collar.
"Bye," the young Q got out before disappearing through the invisible door.
Janeway and Chakotay looked around the bridge to find that the entire bridge crew was watching them. Chakotay cleared his throat. "I beat her at Pareses Squares," he said.
"I'll bet," he heard Ensign Paris mumble as he turned back to his station.
Janeway couldn't take it anymore. "I'll be in my ready room," she said as she headed in that direction. She stopped to look back at Chakotay. "Commander, please join me. We need to talk."
As Chakotay followed her into the ready room, he caught Paris sneaking a peak at them with a sneer and paused. He noticed that the rest of the bridge crew was staring at them while trying to look like they weren't. Even Tuvok seemed to have one eye on them and one on his controls. "Commander!" the captain ordered.
Chakotay followed her into the ready room and the door slid shut before she burst out laughing. Chakotay couldn't help but smile.
"Did you see the look on Tom's face?" she asked. "Priceless!"
Chakotay tried not to laugh, but was rotten at it. "Yes," he said. "But I was sure Tuvok would pop an eye out when you called me in here."
Janeway let her laughter subside to a light chuckle. "All because of two children," she said. "One human and one Q."
"And what was in the fruit last night?!" Chakotay asked rhetorically.
"Nothing," said Ms. Q from a seat on the couch. "The fruit was Ngala fruit. The people on the planet where it grows eat it as an aphrodisiac."
Janeway stopped laughing instantly and let her mouth hang open. "I take it that he planned everything that happened last night," Chakotay commented.
Ms. Q nodded. "Everything after he transported you to Naboo for the rainstorm," she replied.
"We weren't on the holodeck?" Janeway asked.
"Not after the rain started," Ms Q told them.
"Where is Naboo?" Chakotay asked.
"Not far from Alderaan," she answered. "In a galaxy far, far away."
"That's why we couldn't get an exit," Janeway said with a look and a sly smile at her first officer.
"Yeah, well," Ms Q began. "I will try to keep a reign on my son from now on." She paused. "Although with the way his father is, I'll never be able to get him to do what I tell him to." She rolled her eyes, snapped her fingers and disappeared.
They two were silent for awhile before Kathryn came around her desk and looked at the man standing at attention nearby. "At ease before you sprain something," she said with a smile. "Something important."
Chakotay smiled, stepped forward, took her chin in his hand and kissed her very gently. She pulled away and looked into his face. "I wonder if this is still the effect of that fruit," she asked.
"I don't know," Chakotay said. "But if we try to find out the bridge crew is sure to know what's going on in here."
"You know something?" Janeway said and put her arms around his neck. "I don't really care."
"You know," Chakotay returned. "We're going to have to thank Naomi Wildman..."
Kathryn only smiled and interrupted her first officer by kissing him.
The End
