NOTE: This was written in an AIM conversation, so parts associated with Crayak are the work of Pareko. Also, the German Marco is a character from the Deutsch Aktuell series, if that will help to explain why he speaks German. Our Marco is A. Marco, the German Marco is G. Marco.
Jekkal: I feel like meddling. Lessee, cell phone, Pikachu backpack, deck of cards....
G. Marco: Und mich!
Jekkal: Marco, no. I don't like how you treat Zehra.
G. Marco: Bitte? *Goes on his knees*
Jekkal: Fine. You can tag along.
G. Marco: Danke schon! Das ist super!
Jekkal: You even so much as flirt with a girl, I am nailing you. Got it?
G. Marco: Ja, ja.
*Jekkal and G. Marco walk into the barn*
Jake: Who are you?
Jekkal: I'm Jekkal, and this is my tag-along, Marco.
Tobias: Didn't you make me infest you once?
Jekkal: That was Jekkal-Corlen-Fahlo, the Andalite. I'm Jekkal, the fanfic author.
Tobias: Oh.
*G. Marco walks over to Rachel*
G. Marco: Du machst ich auf Touren.
*Everyone ignores the comment, except Jekkal who can understand German.*
Jekkal: MARCO, YOU WOMANIZING #######!
A. Marco: Hey!
Jekkal: Not you, The German Marco.
A. Marco: So I'm not penalized for fooling around with Cassie?
Jake: WHAT????
THWACK!
*A. Marco lies there, unconscious*
G. Marco: Guten Tag, Aximili.
Ax: Um.... oooookay.
G. Marco: Kommt, Rachel. Tschu, Jake.
*G. Marco leaves with Rachel*
*G. Marco tries to kiss Rachel*
Minutes later...
*G. Marco is hopping around the barn, screaming, and clutching something in pain*
Rachel: And next time, STAY back, creep!
*curtain drops*
*thundorous applause*
Jekkal: *comes from behind the curtain* Thank you, thank--
YOINK!
*Jekkal is pulled back behind the curtain, and punches are heard*
Cassie: and THIS one is for saying I slept with Marco!
Crowd: Jerry, Jerry!
Jekkal: You rather I tell the truth and say you're pregnant with Jake's kid?
Cassie: That's a lie! He's as limp as a rag!
*Jake blushes*
Ax: What did she mean by 'limp as a rag?'
Jake: None of your beeswax.
*Jekkal crawls away from the fight and lifts the curtain up again.This time the setting is a court set. Jekkal comes out in judgery gear (Well, what do YOU call it?)and takes her seat.*
Jekkal: Welcome to the court of Judge Jekkal, please be seated. Now, the case is: 'Who slept with whom'? Cassie, please testify.
Cassie: On September 27,1999, Marco said that he had been fooling around with me. However, I do not have a relationship with anyone.
Jekkal: Whatt about this impending pregnancy? You're already in your second month.
Cassie: What pregnancy?
Jekkal: The one you had with Jake.
Cassie: He's not the father.
Crowd: *Gasp*
Jekkal: If he's not, who is?
Cassie: Visser Three is.
All: *GASP*
Cassie: What's more, the children will be half-andalite.
Jake: NOOOO!!!!
V3: How's the muffin in the oven?
*V3 enters, holding out a bouquet, handing it to Cassie*
Jekkal: Wait... wouldn't the fact you're not even the same species stop this?
Cassie: Not if I did it in morph.
Ax: NOOOO!!!
Cassie: Yep, I acquired Ax to do it.
Jekkal: Wait... if she used Ax as a morph to score, then that would make V3's host gay... and aren't gay couples NOT supposed to have children?
V3: Well, Aximili is a kind of... oh, what's the word... but he doesn't show just male characteristics.
Animorphs: *turn heads slowly to Ax*
Jekkal: So he's not a male?
V3: Well, he is, but he does have a--
Animorphs: *BARF*
Jekkal: Okay, if the child was conceived in morph, what's with the half-andalite bit?
Cassie: A morphing thing. I'm not stuck as an Andalite this way.
Jekkal: Fine.
V3: Um... well, considering this is a court...
Jekkal: Oh, all right. Do you, Esplin 9466, take Cassie ---------- to be your lawfully wedded wife?
V3: Of course.
Jekkal: Same question to Cassie -----------, nouns switched?
Cassie: I do.
Jekkal: I now pronounce you Yeerk and wife, you may kiss the bride.
Crayak: *barges in* WAIT! NO! V3 IS MINE!
Jekkal: Too late.
Crayak: *WAIL*
*V3 carries Cassie out of the courtroom, Bouquet in hand*
*Jake comforts Crayak*
Tobias: Well, THAT was interesting.
Jekkal: And what did we all learn today?
Jake: That the woman you love is now married to your worst enemy.
Someone: I thought his worst was Crayak.
Rachel: That you should never let a German escort you out of the barn.
Tobias: That Ax can screw himself.
Cassie: *screams back* THAT BEING PREGNANT WITH A FREAK ROCKS!
A. Marco: Never screw a girl, 'cause your best freind will kill you.
Crayak: Don't waiot until it's too late.
Ax: That everyone here is just plain sicko.
Jekkal: *mumbles* Says the Andalite who masturbates daily.
Ax: That's a personal thing, thank you very much.
Marco: Is it my imagination or are you getting fatter?
Pareko, who is sitting in the court: HE'S PREGNANT, TOO!
Jekkal: Okay with me. I've got baby gifts!
*The Animorphs leave to have two baby showers*
THE END!
