Chapter 1

Stephanie was laying in her bed trying to go to sleep but her mind was racing a mile a minute with so many thoughts it was as if her mind was going to explode. She was thinking about the emoji guy and how much fun he and her friends were probably having in Italy not having a care in the world. If only she could feel like that again. Then she thought about max's recital, about how proud of him she was that he got over his fear of playing in front of a crowd. She also thought of his phase "holy chalupas," it's so funny and weird, which fits him perfectly. However, the thought that weighs the heaviest was her conversation with DJ. It had been only a few months since she found out and never thought it would hurt so much. Thinking of her nephews only brought more thoughts of what her own children would look like, act like, and be like. It had never been a big deal until today because the truth came out. It was easy to be okay with it because no one else knew so it wasn't real. Tears run down Steph's face and unconsciously started to hug a pillow. DJ now knows that she cannot have children, but she doesn't know why and how it happened. She stared up at the plain and empty ceiling for hours trying to forget until she notices the clock says 5:00am. "Crap, how have I been up for 5 hours," she says to herself. She knows that DJ will be in the kitchen making coffee in 30 minutes, which also means the boys will be up soon making noise. This is exactly how she did not want to start the day. Kimmy had a few errands for her to do today before a jungle themed party tonight on top of babysitting tommy while DJ was at work. Steph knew if she went upstairs DJ would worry because Steph is never up that early. So, she decided to continue to lay in her bed until she didn't hear movement upstairs.

At 7:30am, everyone left, which meant the only people in the house were Steph and Tommy. She put on her robe and walked up stairs. It was obvious that everyone just left because there was still some hot coffee left. After pouring a cup for herself she went upstairs to check on tommy, who ended up being asleep for once. So, she sat on the couch in the living room with Cosmo on her lap watching the morning news. The weatherman predicted rain for the next few days, which bummed Steph out even more because the jungle party was supposed to take place outside. Just as the thought came into her head Kimmy called Steph's cell.

"Hey Kimmy what's up?" Steph said as she answered her phone.

"Have you seen this weather, you need to get a tent pronto for the jungle party or else it will look like a rain forest instead! You know Gibbler Style goes above and beyond but a change of theme."

"Kimmy I understand and will get the tent while I'm on my way to get the animal balloons and pick up the cake. Okay?"

"That's perfect sSeph. Thank you and don't forget to be there at 3pm. See you later sister wife."

"bye Kimmy." She hung up the phone shaking her head.

Steph got off the to put her cup away, get dressed, get tommy and start her list of things to do for the day. Steph entered the party store with Tommy in his stroller smiling from ear to ear. She could not believe how happy this baby is because of all the things that have happened recently. As she walked to the front desk to pick up the balloons, she saw a husband and wife with the child hand in hand. Steph couldn't help but stare at how happy they were. She watched as the child swung his parents arms and watched as they looked down at the child with so much love and happiness. It wasn't until a guy tapped her on the shoulder did she look away?

"Are you on line?" The man said. Steph turned her head and was immediately blown away by how attractive this man was. He had the perfect jawline with light brown hair and black-rimmed glasses.

"Yes I am, sorry. I'm Stephanie Tanner nice to meet you," she said as she held out her hand.

"I'm Blake Redner, it is nice to meet you too and who is the little guy in the stroller?"

"Oh, this is my nephew Tommy, I'm watching him while my sister is working?" She turns the stroller around so Blake can see Tommy's smiley face.

"He seems so happy, he is just so precious. You are only luck aunt." He said with a slight smile on his face. She couldn't help but gaze into her beautiful blue eyes. They were like a calming ocean that just takes your breath away. Then she realized why she was here and how late she was going to be if she doesn't leave soon.

"I hate to break this wonderful little meeting up but I really have to get going or I will be late for this party I'm planning."

"Thanks fine, but if it is okay with you can I see you again. We could have coffee or maybe dinner sometime?"

"Sure I would love that."

"Okay then how's tomorrow night, say around 7ish work for you?"

"That's perfect."

"Great, I will pick you up at 7. Until then." Blake said with a smile.

Steph got the balloons and left. When she arrived at the party site she couldn't help but smile. For once she was actually happy and looking forward to something. It had been a while since she was able to have such excitement in her life. She couldn't wait for tomorrow night.

The party went off perfectly and the kids loved it and the parents gave Gibbler style a 30% tip! Not only was Steph happy but she had a little extra cash now too. When she got home it was about 6 o'clock and Tommy was asleep in his stroller.

"Hi aunt Stephanie." Said Max and Jackson as she entered the house. They were watching TV waiting for dinner to be ready.

"Hey guys, how was your days?" she asked them.

"Mine was totally awesome because in class today we did they really awesome experiment with baking soda and vinegar." Jackson eagerly shared.

"Well my day wasn't as good because we had a math test and I hate math?" Max shared as he folded his arms across his body."

"Jackson that is so cool and Max I'm sorry to hear about your test but knowing you, you probably scored so well you hit the ball out the park."

Max's face went from a frown to a smiley face, "yeah your probably right I always do the best in the class anyways."

"Okay, well I'm going to go check up on DJ and give Tommy a nap." Steph said as she walked into the kitchen. DJ was making her famous meatloaf, which was so much better than Aunt Becky's meatloaf.

"Steph spill." DJ said immediately as Steph walked in the door and saw the incredibly happy grin on her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you seen your face, you haven't have that smile on your face since you told me your stories about you traveling and stealing my name."

Steph stared to blush, "Okay your right, I uh met this guy while I was waiting for the balloons for Kimmy's party. He was so cute and had these amazing blue eyes."

DJ immediately stopped what she was doing and paid full attention to Steph, "please do tell more about this man."

A smile came across Steph's face, "well I was kinda in a trance looking at this family at the party store when this guy tapped my shoulder and asked me if I was in line. He was so tall with light brown hair, a bit of scruff, and wore glasses. He was definitely a piece of man candy."

"Okay, and, are you going to see this man again. You haven't even told me his name."

"Right, his name is Blake Redner and we are going to dinner tomorrow night at 7. He was just so sweet and was so kind to Tommy."

"Did you use my son to catch a guy like Uncle Jesse used to do?"
Laughing Steph responded, "no he approach me and besides Tommy was facing away from Blake in the beginning."
"Yeah okay…" DJ said and then hesitated to ask the question that has been on her mind since Steph told her the story, "Hey Steph, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Yeah such Deej, whats up?"
"When you started the story you said you where staring at a family, how come?"
Steph's smile quickly went away and all the negative thoughts she thought about all night came back. She walked over to the dinning table and sat down with DJ following her. She knew she wanted to tell DJ the rest of the story but was now the right time? Steph took about a minute to gather her thoughts before saying anything, but before Steph said a word DJ spoke, "Steph you know you can tell me anything now matter what it is or how bad. Whenever you need some one to talk to I am here for you, I hate to see you so down because it is not like you."

"I, I uuuhh, I didn't tell you the whole story the other day?" Steph said turning to DJ who had a confused look on her face.

"You know when I told you that I could have children. I never told you how I found out." Steph said and DJ immediately grabbed Steph's hand, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Holding DJ's hand tighter Steph responded, "I know but I've wanted to tell you because I tell you everything and if I am being honest I think it is starting to eat me up inside. Okay, It starts when I was in Canada about a month before Tommy passed away. I was in a serious relationship with this guy name Anthony. We were living together and had been together for over a year. Remember I told you about him."

"Yeah I remember, he was a guy you met at a coffee shop in Ontario."

"That's him. Well, as I said we were serious, we talked about kids here and there and what we imagined us looking like down the road and then it happened."

"What happened?" DJ responded with much anticipation.

"I got pregnant. I found out while doing a show at a nightclub. I had all the symptoms but didn't put them together until I heard these girls talking about it in the bathroom. After the show I went to the drug store for a test. All these emotions came to me when I saw the results but mostly happy ones. I knew I wanted kids but wasn't expecting it so early. So I went home to tell Anthony and he was so happy. We went to the doctor and I was about 9 weeks along. We were going to tell our families but decided to wait until the first trimester was over, which ended up being a good thing. One Night, about two weeks later, we were having our biggest argument about my career path and his and how difficult raising a kid was going to be when it happened. I got this sharp pain in my stomach and immediately fell to the floor." Steph paused for a second to get a grip on her emotions so she wouldn't start crying. "It felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly. Anthony rushed me to the hospital and I ended up passing out on the hospital bed."

Steph took a second to look up at DJ who was already crying. Steph took a deep breath and continued with the story. "When I woke up Anthony was sitting next to me, holding my hand. When I saw the look on his face I knew what happened. The doctor came in and told me that I miscarried and then he because of where the fetus was planted, the procedure was difficult and left a lot of scarring which would make it nearly if not impossible for me to conceive again." At this point Steph had to take a break because if she didn't she knew she was going to break down.

"Steph, I am so sorry. That was not fair and you did not deserve such a devastating thing to happen to you." DJ said as she pulled Steph in for a huge. Steph couldn't hold in the tears anymore and drops slowly started to fall down her face.

"When I was in the store earlier today I imagined that the family Anthony, our child and I. Then I was thinking that I might never have that but then the guy showed up and he was able to put a smile on my face. He made me forget all the bad things and filled my head with positive things. "

"That is amazing Steph, but can I ask what happened to Anthony."

Taking another deep breath, "that's the second part of the story. We got home to our apartment and things were not the same. Anthony was looking at me different and we didn't talk for a while; we just did our own things. It stayed like that for about two weeks and then one day I came home, to all these beer cans all over the place and when I walked into our bedroom I saw him with someone else. I couldn't hand it so I grabbed some clothes and went to a friends how. It just so happened that dad called me the next morning about Tommy. I left as quick as I could and haven't gone back since."

"Oh my gosh, steph," DJ was speechless because of everything that she heard. DJ thought that her life had, had some tragic things happen but never thought that Steph could have had worse with the way she had been acting recently.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there for you, I have been wrapped up in everything that has happened to me that I didn't even notice or ask about you. Steph you know you deserve so much better. I am just so happy that I now have you in my life every day. I never realized how much I missed you until you came back into my life and I saw you everyday. You are such an amazing person even with everything you have gone through. You may have been alone with his and handling it but from now on I promise that I will always be there for you no matter what. You are my little sister and I love you so much. I don't think we say that enough." DJ gave steph another hug.

"Awe Deej, thank you so much and I am so happy that I am here. That I can see your kids grow up and see you everyday. Somehow you seem to make things better and I appreciate that. I love you too." Steph said hugging DJ , "And I think this should be our last hug or your dinner will burn. Plus someone is probably going to come in here any minute and see us crying and hugging and ask what's wrong."

DJ hopped up and said, "oh yeah I almost forgot." At that moment Max walked in wondering about dinner. Steph sat there for a few more seconds realizing that a weight that had been on her heart had been lifted. She felt lighter and realized how easy it was to smile again. Now it was time for her to focus on tomorrow night because she had a really good feeling about this guy.