Unfaithful {An Eclare Song Fic}

Disclaimer- I do not own Degrassi [though I wish I did], nor do I own the song used, Unfaithful, by Rihanna.

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

I love Adam, I know I do, I'm just not sure that I am in love with for a while now our relationship just doesn't seem real any more, like we keep trying and things just aren't working out the way they should. I'm partially to blame though, I feel so bad that I'm constantly hurting him.

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

I kiss Eli goodbye as I slip back in my care, mentally preparing myself to go home and play house. I wish I could have done things differently, I still should do things differently. Maybe if I told him I wasn't happy before, it wouldn't hurt as bad. I missed being intimate with someone, someone who had the means to satisfy me not just fingers and toys. I miss feeling a man beside me, & Adams insecurities drive me insane. Eli's my escape & I love it.

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I place another clip in my hair as I sit at the vanity in our bedroom. Adam walks in and placing a gentle kiss on my cheek as I close my eyes, a feeling of shame flushing through my body. I open my eyes to find him staring at me through the mirror. His slight smile turns to a frown as he sees me reaching for my lipstick. He sighs before he ask, "How late are you going to be out tonight Clare?" "Not long" I start, I see him roll his eyes and feel the need to try and comfort him. "I'm just going to have a few drinks with Fiona & Alli." He rolls his eyes again this time retreating to the master bath, moments after the echo from the slammed door dies down, soft sobs that aren't mine replace the silence. I finish my make-up, touching up the few run marks from silent tears the fell at some point. Adam walks out eyes red and puffy as I'm pulling my jacket on, on my way out the door. I tell him bye as he takes a seat at my vanity, fingers tracing my mirror. I shut the door behind me and begin down the stairs. The only sound heard before I walked out the door sounded like glass shattering up the stairs.

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I decide to text Eli and let him know that until I end things with Adam there can be no more us.

{Elijah, I can't do this anymore. C.}

{Do what Clare? I love you, we are ment to be together. E.}

{I cant keep hurting him like this, he doesn't deserve it just as much as I don't deserve him he's to good of a person to be done this way. C.}

{So what are you saying? E.}

{I'm not coming, I need time to think and fix things. I'm going home to Adam. C.}

{I'll love you forever Clare, remember that. I'll wait as long as I need to be with you E.}

I send no response back as I pull my car out of the abandoned parking lot I've been sitting in and head back home.

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore

I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Red and white lights flash down my street as I pull up to my house, yellow tape covers my lawn. I cross over ignoring the shouts from people telling me not to go in and stay back. I walk up the stairs slowly scared as to what I may find. I walk in my bedroom glass from what I now see is my vanity mirror covers the floor. I avoid it as best as I can, eyeing the blood red envelop and black rose that sit upon the stool of my vanity. As I get closer I see blood everywhere, my eyes follow the large trail to Adam's head, where he lie face down, blood still pouring from the hole where the bullet impacted. Tears cascaded down my face as I fall to the floor, my head down in shame. What have I done?