Author notes: Just a little oneshot with Captain Slag as the starring guest, although he will more probably first skewer and then force me to watch all of Qwark's holo-vids for writing this piece here.

Captain Slag, the Space Pirates and everything else in the gameRatchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction belong to Insomniac Games.

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Saucy, dirty, stinking little beast!! The bulky figure slammed a fist onto the wood of his desk, the wood creaking and splintering under the abuse. As if it wasn't enough to steal the artifact they had stolen themselves rightfully from this space station in blasted Nundac Asteroid Ring, the Lombax had before basically torn up the whole base on his way to the radio tower.

Even their storage room in the bar hadn't escape his destructive path – oh, if he had at least spared the grog barrels! His men would go nuts when learning of this (once most of them would have regained conciousness again, it was). Indeed, for him, this had been the worst news Captain Slag had received in a long time when he saw for himself the state of the storage room.

He still groaned mournfully at the thought of so much delicious fluid gone to waste: A good grog was like a woman, nice, smelling good and warming up your insides, and this one had been one of the best grades in the Polaris Galaxy. Besides, those barrels had been their last supplies of grog in whole Ardolis and the next delivery would only take place next week. His men were insufferable without their daily ration of their beloved beverage, for their whining never seemed to end in these times and they asked him every half an hour why they had to drink tea again, when they had only done it already years ago in their tea ceremony class in Kerwan.

Slag shuddered: Never ever again would he drink this brew if not being forced, and even then he would rather consider shooting himself. He would have to get off the planet so could get some grog on one of their battleships. Of course, the Captain getting favoured too much was never good for the team spirit so he would put it a bit differently when telling his men stuck here.

He had to leave Ardolis anyway later that day to get the saucy Lombax skewered.