SHARP AND POINTY SPECIAL!
Sharp and Pointy III.42
Ri-placement
A/N: OK, as I took so many months (and am still not done with) Sharp and Pointy IV: The Revenge of Organization 42,602, I decided to make a special episode with a surprise. You, the Readers, get to decide where the story goes from here. So read on to see how you can affect the course of Sharp and Pointy!
Axel: Sofri doesn't own KH or any of the characters from any of the other fandoms
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Sephiroth was crying.
"HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE, HOW COULD HE BE GONE, HOW COULD WE GO ON?"the former villain sobbed.
"I hate my life," the perpetually angry Sora grumbled. "My companions are idiots, and yet, and yet…" He resisted the urge to cry as it would mess up his perfect make-up. (YES, READERS, SORA HAS A TERRIBLE SECRET—HE WEARS MAKEUP!)
"Sephiroth, he's not gone forever," Naminé, who for once was being remotely sensible, told the One Winged Tree-Hugger.
"I MISS WIKU TOO!" yelled the ultraviolet-furred teddy bear named Officer Krupke who had recently become a plot point at the end of Sharp and Pointy III.
"You're not supposed to talk yet. Your secret doesn't get revealed until we finish this Special Edition, so SHUT UP!" the Keybearer bellowed. He hit the ultraviolet-furred teddy bear over the head with his not-sharp-and-pointy sword that had been the start of all this madness, the Keyblade.
"Anywho," said Naminé, breaking the fourth wall.
"What's a fourth wall?" asked Sephiroth. Nobody answered.
"Anywho," said the hyper witch again, "Riku is currently down for the count because he fainted when he realized how his beloved Officer Krupke had betrayed him. He will return to the Sharp and Pointy series, but, until then, we need a replacement. Or, more accurately, a Ri-placement, to be our temporary companion on our journey to defeat the evil SporkMeister. Take it from here, Sephiroth,"
As the blonde reveled in the fact that she had for once sounded literate, Sephiroth and his tree friend (whose name will be revealed in Sharp and Pointy IV, so STAY TUNED!) began to sing a ballad to Riku. It went like this.
"Without you….
The cheese lives
The fingers poke
Without you
The bears die
The calculators calculate
The water dances
Without you
The things exist…
The easy buttons make things easier…
But I eat macaroni
Without you…"
"GAH!" said a voice, and Sofri (the Authoress) appeared in a puff of ANTI-logic. She was dressed as a game show announcer. "Readers and readerettes, here are the candidates for the position of Riku! Please vote—the series does not continue without your votes!"
Ten people (well, not all of them were people) appeared in variously colored puffs of ANTI-logic. "Introducing…."
A blonde haired boy landed on his butt with a noise like a duck gargling Coca-Cola.
"A not very skilled ninja with horrible dress sense….Naruto Uzumaki, from Naruto!"
Poof-a! "That was redundant," Joe J. Joe began in his monotonous monotone. The Authoress karate chopped the man in his face.
"Go away, you stopped being important after Sharp and Pointy III," she informed him. And so, with a loud, A-FOOP, he disappeared.
A long haired man carrying a guitar landed gracefully on his feet. "An angsty singer whose goal is to write one great song…Roger Davis from RENT!"
An insanely perfect boy flashed an insanely perfect smile. "A sexy vampire who is unfortunately engaged to a Mary-Sue….Edward Cullen, from the Twilight Series!" Edward was promptly mobbed by fangirls and died.
"Oh well…not him I guess…." The authoress's speech was interrupted by the appearance of a green woman, a man with hair like a skunk, and a silver-haired girl not much taller than Sofri.
"The wicked witch of the west…Elphaba, from Wicked. The insane serial killer with a thing for inanimate objects…Sweeney Todd, from, well you know the name of the show (which the authoress can't say because of Joe J. Joe) and the authoress Before the Sun Sets."
Two pink haired girls appeared at once. "Two queens of Mary-Sue-ish-ness, Ichigo Momomiya from Tokyo Mew Mew and Sakura Haruno, also from Naruto."
A woman dressed like a cow poofed in to the sound of bells. "The bisexual drama queen Maureen Johnson, also from RENT. And finally…."
Nothing appeared.
Silence.
"Who?" Sora demanded, always the impatient one.
"He sings, he 'aaaaaaaaaahs,' he can't be seen, give it up for MR. DISEMBODIED VOICE! Created by me, Sofri, the Authoress!"
"So ladies and gentlemen, please cast your votes for one of these ten people to replace Riku temporarily in the Sharp and Pointy series. (Yes, you can still vote for Edward, even though the fangirls ate him, because my omnipotent fourth-wall-defying authoress powers can bring him back). Now, as a treat for being such good readers and putting up with the lack of randomness, here is the cast of Sharp and Pointy singing…. A SONG!"
Namine began, her voice high pitched and off key. "The song's just beginning, here's the second line, the first verse is almost finished, and we're doing fine"
Sora chimed in, along with Sephiroth. "Now here comes the chorus, won't you sing along. Join us in the chorus…"
"THE CHORUS OF THIS SONG!" belted Officer Krupke. Everyone applauded until the moon fell on them and they all died. (Until Sharp and Pointy IV, that is)
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A/n: SO PLEASE VOTE IF YOU WANT S&P TO CONTINUE! Thank you very much.
