Harry Kim heaved a sigh that came from his well-polished boots.
It was a dull day on the bridge of the USS Voyager, with very little appearing on either the viewscreen or on sensors, and Harry could tell that his colleagues were as bored as he was.
The Captain had just disappeared into her ready room on the pretext of some reports to finish, but they all knew she was really going for her coffee fix. Chakotay was stabbing randomly at the conn, but Harry could tell from the First Officer's expressive features that the older man was just trying to make work. Tom's fingers tapped on his console in annoyingly rhythmic manner that made Harry wince. Sam Wildman was heroically trying to restrain a yawn. And even Tuvok looked bored.
Wait a minute. Tuvok always looks bored, Harry told himself. He looked closer. Nope, he was sure of it: the Vulcan was as fed up as anyone else. Despite himself, Harry grinned. And then nature won out and he gave vent to an almighty yawn—
--Only to half choke when the Captain's voice summoned him to her ready room.
"Acknowledged, Captain," he murmured. His brows drew together in a rare frown and panic burgeoned within. Tom was grinning at him, Harry could see, but the smile he was certain Tom meant as reassuring came across as a smirk. Harry glowered at his best friend and had the momentary satisfaction of seeing Tom's blue eyes widen before the helmsman turned around to face the near-empty viewscreen. Harry mentally wished him joy of it as he pressed the ready room's buzzer.
"Come," the Captain's voice ordered.
Well, at least she doesn't sound too mad, thought the eternal optimist. Feeling a little more confident, he approached Janeway where she sat at her desk.
And waited.
And waited.
Harry struggled desperately with the urge to shuffle his feet or fiddle with his sleeves.
The sound of the padd clacking against the desk made him jump violently.
"Ensign Kim," the Captain began conversationally -was that an undue emphasis on his rank, Harry wondered- "would you care to explain this communication to me?"
Not for the first time in the seven years he'd served with Kathryn Janeway, Harry found himself frankly gawping at his commanding officer.
"Captain?" he squeaked, not daring to venture anything else. It always works for Chakotay, he thought.
Janeway seared him with a blue glance, and then smiled. A very gentle smile. The kind that fooled unwary aliens but had more savvy ensigns quaking in their Starfleet-issue boots.
Harry gulped.
"It seems," the Captain continued in a voice as gentle as her smile, "that your mother considers that you are unappreciated on this ship. Care to explain, Mr Kim?"
"Um—ah. Er. My mother, Captain? Heh. Unappreciated, me? Oh no, Captain, I can't think where she'd get that fact- um, thought- from."
This time the smile that Janeway directed at her Ops officer showed all her teeth. "Be very careful what you say, Mr Kim. Spades and graves."
"Huh?" Harry squeaked, coherency being beyond him at this point.
Janeway cracked the padd against the desk again, causing Harry to simultaneously wince and start. "You have informed your mother of our situation, haven't you, Ensign? I mean, surely you wouldn't dream of implying that your captain would be so unfair as to deliberately withhold promotion from you, would you?"
"Yes, ma'am. Um, I mean, no ma'am. Sir. Captain."
"Ma'am will do, Ensign. This is crunch time."
"Yes, Captain. I mean, ma'am."
"Just to clarify, Mr Kim. Your promotion, should your service deserve such, will happen when I think you are ready. Not when you do. Or when your mother does. After all, I think we all agree that I am the most experienced in deciding these matters, h'mm?"
"Yes, Captain. Ma'am," Harry parroted.
"And since you appear to be so eager to command, I am going to suggest that you spend a week with Commander Tuvok learning the ropes, so to speak. You will complete any tasks that the commander requires in your own time. After all, a good commander does not shirk any of his or her duties. Do you understand me, Ensign?"
"Yes, Captain. Uh, ma'am."
"Very well, Mr Kim. I am certain your mother will be delighted to hear of your -advancement- in command craft. Dismissed."
Harry's departure from the ready room reached record speeds. Panting slightly, and convinced that he'd turned that unpleasant shade of watery ochre that his skin showed when he was shocked, he leaned against the bulkhead.
Just a moment to rest, he told himself. Just a moment.
He was about to straighten and return to his post when a strange sound drifted from the ready room. He paused to listen, his carefully trained ears attuned to identifying a range of sounds and tones.
That couldn't be—
Could it?
Nah. Impossible.
Wasn't it?
After all, it was beyond all probability that Captain Kathryn Janeway would have collapsed in hysterical laughter after tearing strips off a luckless and completely innocent ensign.
Wasn't it?
-fin : )
