A/N – Oh nu bru! Mistakenly deleted this story, bru!

Hehe, well, I thought I'd get a fresh start, and only realised AFTER I deleted this story that I actually wanted to keep it. Oops.

Ah well, enjoy the reread, and post a review if you want!

I leaned over Bella, waiting for her to open her eyes...

I didn't want to do this. No, I really didn't want to do this. There were no words to describe how much I opposed to this plan. Bella was my life, and after this, I had no idea what would happen. But it had to be done.

"Okay, Let's talk." Edward said

"Bella, we're leaving."

"Why now? Another year-"

...

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

"You...don't...want me?" Bella stuttered.

"No."

"Don't. Don't do this."

"You're not good for me Bella."

"Well... if that's what you want."

And with that, he was gone.

I ran off, waiting for the unopposable pull that would take me back to her. I couldn't believe that she had taken the lie without suspicion. As though she was expecting it to happen.

But the pull never came. I continued to run, but even that didn't consume enough of my mind to stop thinking about Bella.

As I thought of her, her face revealed itself on the centre-stage of my mind. But her expression was distorted. My love's face was warped in confusion, desperation, disbelief and another unbearable human expression I cuoldn't find a name for. It was the look she had in the forest; the last memory I had of her.

At the same time, I felt an excruciating pain in my chest. As though my heart and chest had been ripped out and replaced with a gaping hole that presented itself at the mere thought of her.

As the hole ripped at myself further, I decided that I had to engage myself further, to stop me worrying. My immediate solution – hunting.

I felt the breeze carry the promising scent of a meal and let my instincts take over. I gave myself to the side of me that would have jumped at the chance to kill an innocent person without a second thought, and let it take me over.

I didn't savour the feeling of running when I was like this. I quickly remembered why I never wanted Bella to see this. The way I acted while I did this was sure to scare her off at the very least.

Another pang of pain in my centre and I finally found what I was looking for. The scent of a grizzly wafted from the south-east and I was captured by it. I wondered why there was one so close to town, but that thought was quickly dismissed when I smelt it's warm scent once again.

Grizzlies weren't my favourite, but they were still a good fight. Compared to mountain lions, they seemed uncoordinated in battle, but that didn't matter so much when you had strength on your side. I could see why Emmett liked these so much. His strength verses the bear's. Good match.

I knew I was close when I found its trial. But I also found my own. I must have doen a circle. I wasn't worried about that at first, but what I heard, smelt and saw next put things into perspective.

The grizzly stood over it's human victim, ready to pounce. The human had obviously given up all hope of survival, and was crouched in a ball beneath the bear's feet.

I wanted to save the human. It would be easy; take it from behind, cowardly, but at least the human would be saved.

But I was too late. The bear took a chunk out of the human's chest, and she lay on the forest floor lying in the growing pool of blood.

Wait, she. She. She!

I couldn't move. My legs had gone stiff, and the rest of my body stood in shock. My mind couldn't comprehend that the love of my life was being mauled by a bear.

I remained unmoved, watching as the bear sauntered forward to take another bite. Less than a second had passed but time was of no importance now. The only thing that mattered was to save Bella. My Bella.

When the bear took a chunk out of Bella's leg, I found the will to move. I moved into a crouch and quickly bounded over to the bear, easily reaching up to it's throat. I only took enough blood to kill the beast, because I knew there was something more important. My nose could easily tell me that, too.

I walked over to Bella quickly, observing her injuries while I approached. She was mauled to such an extent that a passer-by would most likely not even think she was human. Bits of her chest and legs were missing and it was all my fault.

I had two options.

Firstly, I could let bella die. It seemed impossible to let that happen to her, but I also didn't like my other option.

I could change her. I could take her life and soul away from her and give her another chance. I knew this was what she wanted, but I couldn't bear to do it.

What would Carlisle do? I asked myself. And in that question, I knew the answer.

I knelt down at Bella's side and leaned down to her throat. I could feel the heat radiating from her, and her blood pulsing hurriedly through her veins. I savoured these last moments and I leaned my head further in until my lips were touching her throat. My lips felt like they were touching lava, the heat tingled all the way down to my bones. I gently kissed her neck.

But I knew that I would have to do this sooner or later. I bit into her throat, pushing the venom into her body. I felt the taste of her blood on my lips, but this time it didn't affect me.

Or some reason, this sensation felt oddly satisfying. I somehow enjoyed the experience, in a pervert disgusting sort of way. But when I heard Bella's heart slow a bit too much more than necessary, I knew it was time to stop. I pulled away, my animal side screaming at me for doing so.

I took Bella up into my arms and began to run with her. I felt her shaking, but she didn't make a noise. She was strong.

I continued to run, trying to ignore her increasing convulsions, and focused on the woods around me. I had hunted in her many times, and it's inhabitants had learnt to fear me; as they should. As Bella should have.

I knew this forest and also knew that there wasn't far to go. All those late nights giving Bella some 'human time' to get ready for bed. I knew that those days were over.

I was also worried about how we were going to cover this up. We had a property arranged in Alaska, which we hadn't moved to yet; luckily. Though we were scheduled to leave Forks soon. I wondered whether Bella would come with us.

I knew there was not far to go. And strangely, my legs felt numb, though they had no reason to be tired. The forest flew past in it's perfect detail, as always, though I paid no attention to this. I just prayed that Bella would be alright.

I was soon within range of my sibling's thoughts, and I could hear Alice envisaging my arrival. Thoughts were frozen as she explained that I was coming and it was a bit of an emergency. Alice tried to come on as subtle, but inside she was freaking out. Jasper had sensed her distress and was now trying to comfort her, but trying to get her to tell him what was going on. He was clueless, though maybe that was a good thing.

All of a sudden, the white porch became visible and I reached the door. Alice held the large door open for me with a solemn look on her face. I could see that she was trying to avoid looking at the convulsing body in my arms.

I raced up the stairs and into Carlisle's office, pausing at the door to see that his desk was already clear, morphine on hand. Alice must have told him. I wondered how Carlisle would do this, and my thoughts were answered by Carlisle's medical-based thoughts. I knew that he didn't want to think about what he was really doing, and who he was doing it to.

I would have liked to think about her like that too, but it was impossible. But now, as Carlisle silently surveyed Bella, I felt relieved that she was in good hands. Carlisle would take care of her.

Bella's convulsions decreased slightly as Carlisle injected the morphine. It wouldn't help her pain on the inside, but we could only hope. When Carlisle left the room, I sat down next to Bella and took her hand. I felt her small shudders as the pain engulfed her. I could not help but remember my transformation close to a hundred years ago.

Flashback

I knew that every breath I was taking would be counted as my last. I also knew that my mother would not be enjoying this luxury. I knew she was dead.

How I knew this, I had no idea. All I knew was that I would be with her soon enough. At this point, I longed for death.

I vaguely noticed when Dr. Cullen came into the room. He began his usual checkups with what I noted as a sombre and thoughtful expression. It seemed as though he was deliberating something in his mind. It also looked very important.

Dr. Carlisle's mind seemed made up when he looked up at me for the first time. He saw that I had been watching, and he walked over to the head of my bed.

"I'm very sorry Edward, but-"

"I know – you don't have to tell me," I managed to cut him off with my coughs of speech.

"I really am. I'm very sorry about this. I promised, I'm sorry," Carlisle said, disjointedly, before inclining his head to my throat. I could feel his cold breath blow onto my neck before he – bit me!

The pain was excruciating – indescribable.

End of flashback

I relieved that memory in all of its murky quality. Recalling it often meant that it had reduced a small portion of the cloudy film, but compared to my new sight, it was poor.

As a result, I could only imagine the pain that Bella was going through.

Days, hours, minutes or seconds passed. I had no knowledge of anything apart from the suffering that my love had been going through. If there had been a huge earthquake, I wouldn't have felt it. If pirates had taken over the world, I wouldn't have heard. Even if Emmett had won another wrestling match, I wouldn't know nor care.

"Please, please be alright Bella. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me; I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry," I said. I said it over and over again, until I gave up in a fit of sobs and rested my forehead against her uncomfortably warm hand.

It was a strange way to cry. It began as shuddering, then my throat closed up and my breathing quickened. It was a cross between croaking and choking.

My adopted siblings and parents all came in individually to console me. But every one of them had to leave the room, sobbing. They all knew that this shouldn't have happened, but I was definitely the worst in coming to terms that it actually was happening.

This was my nightmare.

I still had my head on her hand when I felt Bella's pulse quicken underneath me. And it kept on going up. So much so, that Carlisle and Alice came in. Carlisle took her pulse again and concluded in his head that it must be almost over. Alice confirmed it with a vision of what time it would be over.

The others eventually took their places against the wall, the guys in a slight crouch in front of their partners. I looked over when Alice cleared her throat and I saw Carlisle nod.

Bella beat her last heartbeats...