guilt avalanche
his life, while failed, was better before. – burke/jett.
"Watch out!"
Burke doesn't even bother to blink anymore as Jett fires a shot that barely misses his head but saves his life again for the hundred and twenty-eighth time.
"You okay?"
Physically, yes. The issues regarding his ego, on the other hand . . . that's an entirely different story.
"Yes," he answers anyways.
. . .
He knows the shade of her hair better than anything. It's a burnt-gold, beautiful shade like the sun setting and striking the world with light ablaze and he knows it best because he's spent his life behind her, in her shadow, staring at the back of her head.
. . .
Jett. Jett. Jett.
And all that places her on the top of the world, all that makes her different from him is her jewel. Otherwise he and the girl with the orange-gold hair are equals.
But she has the jewel. She's out of his hands, out of his reach and out of his world even when she's next to him.
She'll never give up that for anyone, not even him.
. . .
If he can't have her, no one can.
. . .
Brave Burke, making moves, becoming Burke and only Burke, moving out of Jett's shadow and rising up.
Bravo, Burke, Bravo.
. . .
His self-applause eventually comes to a screeching halt.
No, wait.
This wasn't what he wanted. He's not happy with this.
. . .
What does he want?
He wants to be happy, because his new life is not a happy one.
When had he ever been happy?
Back home, with her.
And eventually he came to the conclusion. What have I done?
. . .
It's his fault. It's his entire fault.
He's ruined everything.
I'm sorry, he wants to shout at her. He wants to beg for her forgiveness, wants to crawl and cry and curl up in a corner.
But he doesn't because nothing will change. He's ruined everything and it's his fault, every last scrap of unhappiness.
. . .
She's always had his back. He's always had her back.
Then he went and ruined everything.
"I'm sorry," he says for real when he's on the ground dying. He thinks a lot of things, plans an entire desperate, melodramatic deathbed speech to be given with a rattling, blood-filled-throat-voice in his head at it, too. I tried making amends because I did a terrible thing, god, I was jealous Jett, and it was stupid and ridiculous and I'm sorry Jett, I really am, but all he says is "I'm sorry."
"Me too," she whispers back, her head and hair ablaze like the sunset.
Slight AU. Thank you to Teddypro for beta-ing!
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